BTDT? re: spouse/fam

[Willows]

In your SOP, should you purposefully avoid discussing whether are not you are married and/or have a child? I could see how this could add to your application in that you've achieved certain things all while having many more responsibilities than a traditional undergrad. This could be an opportunity to show dedication. Plus, the ethics of not revealing are murky to me. Yet, adcoms might see see a spouse or a child as a potential distraction from your research, right?

Edited August 25, 2012 by Willows

[ILuvPsych2013]

I am in the same position! I have definitely heard mixed things about this. Ultimately, my GPA has remained high and I have been involved in both research and extra-curriculars even with these potential "distractions", so I was advised to highlight my non-trad status. I am also of the opinion that if a school has a problem with the fact that I have a husband and kids, I don't want to go there anyway.

[1Q84]

They couldn't possibly discriminate against you based on having a family, could they?

[emmm]

Sure they could if they wanted to...they don't have to come out and say this was why a student was rejected. However, I don't think it will be a problem. Grad students with families are not all THAT uncommon...

[1Q84]

But there's still an appeals process and stuff, no? I don't think it's completely shrouded in secrecy... there has to be some tiny bit of accountability for their decisions. Or am I just being naive?

[emmm]

Accountability to whom? Most of these programs have many more qualified applicants than available spots. They can justify anyone they select -- and then they just don't have more spots--sorry. It's not as though the applicant with the family is way better than all the other applicants, so that it is obvious that the only reason for rejection is the family. Admissions committees already have a tough time deciding among good applicants. So any reason could make someone less attractive than someone else. Honestly, I think they focus much more on academic and research criteria, and not who does/doesn't have a family (which can always change, anyway).

Edited August 29, 2012 by emmm

[1Q84]

Accountability to whatever equity/anti-discrimination policies most decent universities should have in place? I'm not dumb enough to think that they'd come out and say so but I think if people were to hold them accountable (a systematic change) instead of just saying "adcomms will be adcomms"...

[minke]

I wouldn't mention it unless it's directly relevant. Ie, my spouse survived breast cancer, so now instead of being some other kind of scientist I want to cure cancer. Look at the average age of people in the program you're applying to... the average age of a first marriage in this country is 26. Spend your valuable words elsewhere.

[Rachel B]

Accountability to whatever equity/anti-discrimination policies most decent universities should have in place? I'm not dumb enough to think that they'd come out and say so but I think if people were to hold them accountable (a systematic change) instead of just saying "adcomms will be adcomms"...

There has to be proof, which may be nearly impossible to get, and many universities stand behind the administrators and faculty making those decisions.