I think you'd benefit immensely from cutting this paragraph in half. It's verbose, passive, and I don't feel like I know you or your likely success in an english grad program any better after reading the entire thing. A statement of purpose is your opinion or belief by definition, any use of these phrases is redundant.
I revised your intro sentences. You used ~80 words, I used ~50.
The quote “experientia docuit” is usually translated as “experience teaches,” but in a wider sense it can mean experience is the art that teaches all other arts. This rings true of my academic career; each of the side paths that I explored contributed to my passion for the academic study of the English language.
This is your thesis. Spend the essay proving it.
My year spent teaching English in South Korea after my undergraduate work led to an interest in secondary school education, which informed my decision to pursue a Bachelor of Education. I gained a great deal from this second bachelor’s degree, with two facets that stand out in particular: the reinvigoration of my passion for research and academia and my first exposure to the field of gender studies. The latter, in particular, has been both illuminating and inspirational; continuous academic research as well as first-hand practicum teaching experience has allowed me to explore the deep impact of gender socialisation on secondary school students and the need for more understanding.
Any particular insights here? More understanding on whose part?
Insofar as interdisciplinary pursuits usually beget unexpected results, this practical experience has unexpectedly evolved into a desire to explore the theoretical in an attempt to understand the deeper bedrock of prevailing Western societal conceptions of gender by means of literature.
I have spent the intervening period since my undergraduate degree doing independent, interest-based research grounded in the intersection of these two great passions of mine: gender studies and Renaissance literature, which has helped me to focus my dedication as well as hone my motivation, tenacity and research skills. I strongly believe that this exploratory period away from academia has allowed me to grow personally as well as discover my interests fully and absorb new ideas.
Who did you read? Who did you find most compelling? Why do you want to study this for so long?
Edit brutally! Print it out and get out the red pen! Have fun with it...
Also, consider leaning towards masters programs. If you don't have high level undergrad preparation in these areas, despite all of your self-directed study you might benefit from some structured academic exploration of the discipline before attempting a PhD.