Socially Awkward Academics

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

It feels like there is a lack of communication skills among graduate students in general. Maybe its because graduate students are more argumentative and have stronger opinions than average, and don't hide it? In any case, I think I am actually losing my skill in communicating with non-academics.

Does anyone else get the feeling?

[Tall Chai Latte]

I don't think grad students are more argumentative or opinionated, but rather we are just too busy to participate in many non-academic activities, as opposed to the non-academics. When you are working 70 hours a week including weekends, and your non-academic counterparts work 40 hours a week with free time after work, it's hard to find overlapping time and do something together. And hence your feeling of disconnected from the outside world.

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

I don't think grad students are more argumentative or opinionated, but rather we are just too busy to participate in many non-academic activities, as opposed to the non-academics. When you are working 70 hours a week including weekends, and your non-academic counterparts work 40 hours a week with free time after work, it's hard to find overlapping time and do something together. And hence your feeling of disconnected from the outside world.

Sorry I don't mean that they don't participate in activities. I'm just refering to communication skills, like how people talk. Just an example, usually in polite company you don't directly refute people and say "oh no, that's wrong, its this way" especially in non-academic subjects. I mean in physics, ok, sure, its either right or wrong. But when discussing sports? Politics? There's no right or wrong answer, but some push it as if there were and are highly opinionated about their choice. Maybe its just physics. Maybe all the socially awkward people gather in this department, just like the jokes about CS nerds.

I mean no offense in this matter, I also have a communication problem.

[Dal PhDer]

I think you'll find socially inept people anywhere. I have met students who you are referring too...who really do not understand the cues to proper conversation..but there is also a lot of students who do discuss well.

I think in one respect, as graduate students you're taught to have an opinion and to be able to rationalize that idea....sometimes I find myself (especially topics related to my work that are in the media) to have strong convictions and wanting to shake people..."WHY DON'T YOU GET ME!!?" ...but I think that can be said about anyone when they are passionate.

I know there has been a trend to teach certain disciplines (those that deal with the public) to be more approachable and have the proper communication skills. I think this, regardless of your discipline and who you work with, should be something all students learn in graduate school.

[ktel]

I don't think having strong opinions and pushing them on others is confined to academia in the slightest. I've come across these types of people everywhere.

That being said, I do notice a stronger degree of social awkwardness in graduate school. Especially in engineering. Some of it can easily be explained due to cultural and language barriers for some students, but for others it just has to do with how their brains work. And I think that's why they are so good at the research they do. I find most of these personality quirks quite endearing in their uniqueness.

[deconstructing]

Not sure about grad school, but I know there are people with this sort of an awkward communication style. These people don't seem to know how to have a relaxing chit chat - they turn everything into a serious discussion. I'm like this. I've always been like this. It didn't bring me much love and popularity in school, that's for sure, and I do know it's considered awkward but it has nothing to do with grad school level itself.

[SymmetryOfImperfection]

Not sure about grad school, but I know there are people with this sort of an awkward communication style. These people don't seem to know how to have a relaxing chit chat - they turn everything into a serious discussion. I'm like this. I've always been like this. It didn't bring me much love and popularity in school, that's for sure, and I do know it's considered awkward but it has nothing to do with grad school level itself.

Do you think that these people are disproportionately attracted to grad school though?

[deconstructing]

That could be a factor, yes. But this is only a wild speculation.

[wildviolet]

I find most of these personality quirks quite endearing in their uniqueness.

LOL. Me, too! I find myself attracted to guys who are a little bit *different* (which in some cases may mean socially awkward to others).

[deconstructing]

Well, we ARE mighty hot. That goes without saying. But I don't think grad school has anything to do with this type of social awkwardness. It's just that it's perhaps more tolerated in the grad school environment.