1-1 with Prof in Her Home

[iphi]

I sent an introduction letter to a potential advisor, and she responded that my work sounded interesting and invited me to come to her house to discuss how my research might fit with hers.

Any tips for what to do now? It's an unfamiliar situation and I'm just generally nervous. I have, of course, been reading lots of her published articles. Is there anything else I should make sure to do? What should I expect?

[TakeruK]

Are you uncomfortable with her suggestion, or are you just nervous because it's an unfamiliar situation? If you are not comfortable meeting your potential supervisor in their own home, that's perfectly reasonable and you should not have to do it if you don't want to. You can excuse yourself by suggesting a time during working hours, in either her office or your office instead. If you need an excuse, you can say that you would prefer to do this during the day and that you want to be at school during your working hours to be more productive. Or you can just simply say you aren't comfortable with meeting her in her home at this point (since it sounds like you don't know her very well?). I think I would be very nervous and uncomfortable to have a supervisor schedule a work related meeting at their home when there seems to be no reason to do it at work. That said, when I first moved to my MSc school, my supervisor had my wife and I over for dinner (but it wasn't a work related "meeting") and when I was about to finish, I dropped off my final draft of my thesis at his house (logistical issues made it the most convenient option) and then we stayed and talked about future plans with the work for a little while. I'm not saying it's wrong to meet with supervisors at their homes -- I enjoyed spending time with my last supervisor, just that you shouldn't feel like you have to since they requested it.

If you're just nervous because it's a new situation, then I think it would be safe to treat this meeting as if it was happening in the office. I don't know if it's a good thing or not that you are meeting her in her home instead of at work -- on one hand, you and her might get along really well and this is a good way to begin a good relationship (although usually I would think "house calls" are more appropriate when you both already know each other well!). On the other hand, it might be more inconvenient for you to go to her home instead of school (unless it's not!) and if this meeting is happening outside of work hours, it might be an indication that she expects you to be available to meet with her at her convenience anytime. Of course, that is probably reading way too much into your one sentence description but just things to keep in mind I guess?

In any case, you might be able to learn a lot more about her personality and style from visiting her in her home than in the office, and that could help you make the decision on which advisor to choose in the end!

Edited October 23, 2012 by TakeruK

[iphi]

No, just not sure what to expect from the situation. We are meeting on a weekend because it is more convenient for us both (I work full time during the week, 2 hours away). Her house is very close to campus, so I hope to get the opportunity to see the school since I have never been.

[TakeruK]

Oh -- sorry, I misunderstood your post! I thought you were already a student at this school and you are looking for advisors now that you're there!

[TMP]

Consider this as a special treat!!! Visiting her home should actually be much more relaxing than in her office. Trust me, you'll settle in much faster than you think.

[iphi]

Thank you! Any tips in terms of preparedness? I have read as much of her research as I was able, and have ideas about directions for my research under her guidance. Is there anything else I'm missing?

[cyberwulf]

My personal opinion is that this is an inappropriate suggestion on the part of the professor. I think everyone would see the problem with a male professor inviting a prospective female applicant to a first-time meeting at their house; why should this be OK for a female professor and male student?

If the professor's house is close to campus, the obvious alternative would be to meet there -- clearly a better option for everyone involved.

[iphi]

We are both female, and my understanding is that she is upward in years... it may be more comfortable for her.

[SeriousSillyPutty]

If she's willing to meet with you on the weekend, outside of work hours, I can understand not wanting to go into the office unnecessarily... especially since, depending on the location, you may need a key to get in the building, parking might be goofy, etc. etc. Plus, if you are traveling a far distance it will be harder to judge what time you'll get there, but if it's at her house you don't have to worry about inconveniencing her so much if you're running late.

I don't think she'll be expecting you to know everything or make a sales pitch. I would recommend coming prepared with specific questions to ask. Maybe you won't need them, but you'll have them if she's not inclined to guide the conversation herself.

In preparation for my official meeting/interview day (more formal than what you're doing), I got one of those little moleskin pocket notebooks and jotted down a few questions I could ask each of the people, just based on their department website bio, to try to find common ground. With this being a potential advisor, you probably have more specific questions, so come with those.

Another advantage of having a little notebook (and pen) is that academics always have a book or article to recommend about what you express interest in or ask about. That way you can write it down and actually take up the suggestion. :-)

Do others have thoughts on bringing food? Under other conditions when somebody invites me to their house semi-officially for the first time, I feel inclined to bring baked goods or something. It certainly wouldn't be required for a meeting, but since its in a home, would it be taken as a nice gesture, or would it be too personal? (I for one would never turn down a home-made cookie, but that's just me. )