Please review my SOP for a PhD in Statistics

[superbean]

Any feedback is appreciated.  Thank you for your time!

 

Why do I want to pursue a career in statistics?  I love the diversity of backgrounds that one can encounter as a statistician.  I love to work with other creative, passionate individuals and find myself excited to contribute to their research and help them understand their data.  I am eager to expand on my ability to extract useful information out of complicated data sets.  As I learn more about statistics, my interests will transform and graduate school will transform me.    

I enjoy thinking of different variables to come up with potential root causes of problems.  In my previous life, I was a physicist working at xxx.  My role at xx was to design, define test plans, and troubleshoot radiation detectors.  Radiation detection is a probabilistic process, and I relied on the Poisson distribution to help quantify low level radiation measurements.  My most enjoyable experiences at xxxx were brainstorming potential failure modes when problems occurred with detectors.   On one such problem I worked with a statistician who came up with a counterintuitive idea as part of a factorial design.  This idea resulted in a 10% improvement in output over the other, more conventional, configurations.  This spring I will be working on a project to expand that idea over a broader range of products and come up with a general rule for all sizes of detectors. 

While there were few opportunities to publish at my previous position, I was engaged in a wide variety of research projects. I completed an extensive data mining project using Excel which reduced scrap and inventory costs by correlating subcomponent performance to product performance.   I helped update our physics models using acquired data to refine the predictions of our performance and characterize new gases.  While many of these were short term projects, geared towards solving a hot-button issue quickly.  Some ended up becoming extensive projects, like the one that led to my patent. 

The customer had a concern with a product that exhibited higher than background counts during temperature transitions.  I tried to identify and isolate what factor was causing the problem by setting up experiments and testing each of the variables.  After weeks of testing, I realized that while the increase in count rate was strongly correlated with a temperature transition, the increased temperature did not cause the elevated count rate.  I eventually found that one of the interfaces was causing the increased counts. With the interface identified, I worked with the mechanical engineer, XX, to redesign the detector to eliminate the interface.

At The Ohio State University I am interested in working on projects related to environmental statistics.  The Spatial Statistics and Environmental Statistics program is of particular interest to me.  After obtaining a PhD from The Ohio State University I would like to work with the ever-increasing amount of environmental data to develop and improve climate models or work with government agencies to monitor environmental sites and drive data-based environmental regulations.

 

***  I edited some awkward sentances.

Edited December 27, 2012 by superbean

[Sylvia0713]

I think the first sentence is quite awkward, and it is not a catchy opening either. I would rather delete it.  

[superbean]

Thank you, I agree with the awkwardness.

[TheFez]

You only have a brief discussion (that comes at the end of your essay) that specifically relates to Ohio State:

"At The Ohio State University I am interested in working on projects related to environmental statistics. The Spatial Statistics and Environmental Statistics program is of particular interest to me.

I think successful SOPs develop a better case for why a particular program is a good fit. Which professors are of interest? Why? How does the program compare to other alternatives?, etc.

I can tell you that for PhD programs, fit, is an important issue for both the school and the student.

[CHOCTICK]

Some of your sentences are not.

 

1)  While many of these were short term projects, geared towards solving a hot-button issue quickly. (3rd paragraph)

 

2)Radiation detection is a probabilistic process, and I relied on the Poisson distribution to help quantify low level radiation measurements. (2nd paragraph) ****That comma is not needed******

 

The content of your essay is really good. You need to improve the flow and grammar. I am applying to Ohio's MS Statistics program; hope to see you there.