If you get rejected but had contacted a POI?

[VBD]

I'm not too sure on internet/email ettiquette, so I appreciate any answers to this question.

 

I've been in contact with a professor at University X. He was a really nice POI, and we've sent back and forth around 5 emails. A couple weeks later, I got a rejection from University X (It's ok, I'll survive ), but I'm not sure if I should write an email of acknowledgement of the program's rejection and/or my thanks to the POI for his time and extended conversations with me earlier. My field is so small that he could end up a collaborator with a professor at a program I (hopefully can) get into, so I'm trying to prevent any "burning of bridges." But it could be awkward post-rejection (or maybe perceived passive-aggressive malice?), so should I just leave it and not email him thanks anyways? What are your thoughts?

[AnthroPerson]

I think it's great that you want to thank him and you should definitely go for it. Just keep it simple, say even though they weren't ale to find a place for you in the department, you appreciate his help and his time. If he told you about current or upcoming projects, maybe you could wish him luck in those endeavors or something. Way to rise above the pain of not getting in, in any case!

[Wicked_Problem]

I'm not in your field, but here's my two cents... Your relationship was with the POI, not the school. The school may have rejected you, but given the exchange you described, they may have rejected your POI as well, instead of the POI not going to bat for you. In my opinion, send the email. Straightforwardly acknowledge the rejection and express your regret that you two will not have the opportunity to work together at University "X" but express a desire to keep the lines of communication open. Your are quite right, in a small subfield, this POI may end up a collaborator or if nothing else someone you socialize with at future conferences. Maybe (hopefully) a friend, even.

[uromastyx]

i ditto what these pepes be saying.

[Vader Was Framed]

It's not awkward at all and I think will go a long way to send an email. You are right - future collaboration. You may meet this POI at a conference, etc. 

 

It's similar to situations in which one may get a rejection from a (business) interview or didn't make a final cut for a job offer. In those situations, it's best practice to still send an email acknowledging their decision, thanking them for their time, and that you look forward to any future opportunities. Paths may cross once again.

 

Cheers

[Datatape]

I've done just this with the professors I contacted at the two universities I've been rejected from.  All that's needed is a quick note, something along the lines of "I'm sorry to tell you that I was not recommended for admission" and thanking them for their time in writing you.  You may hear something back, you may not (I got a very encouraging email from one and a very generic "best wishes" email from the other), but it never hurts to make nice.  These are your future colleagues and it's always good to keep a connection somewhere.

Edited January 30, 2013 by Datatape