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Posted

Here's the story: I applied to 8 schools, any of which I would've been THRILLED to attend next year. I only applied to schools that were accredited by my field's professional organization, and in geographic locations where I would've liked living for 2-3 years.  I didn't have a top choice or ranking in my mind, and although i had a "safety" school, I still would have enjoyed attending that program.  

 

Last week, I received my first decision (an acceptance!) to a program that happens to be one of the best in the nation, and in an area where i have lots of family.  I still haven't heard anything from the 7 remaining programs :( 

I'm so tempted to just commit to UNC, because I feel like it would likely be one of my top picks even if I am accepted to multiple schools.  

 

Should I wait it out, or would it be OK to just commit to this first program and finally be able to stop worrying/obsessively checking my email? Has anyone had similar thoughts?

Posted

I'd suggest waiting for funding details and visitation weekend at least. Although, I was in a similar boat and accepted my offer after funding info/visit, and later got rejected from the rest of my programs. If you're not in a rush, sit on your offer for a while.

Posted

You still have plenty of time between now and April 15th, just give the other schools a little more time and weigh your options once everything comes in. 

Posted

If you begin to feel that, even were you to be accepted at all other schools, you would go to THIS one, then accept. But it sounds like it is still "one" of your top picks, in which case I would certainly wait, because you may feel differently if you get an acceptance from one of your other top picks. 

 

I guess what I'm saying is that there is a difference between being sure that a program is the one for you and just wanting it to be over. For the former, accepting seems like the respectful thing to do so that other schools don't waste time reviewing your application and other applicants can be reviewed. For the latter, you might regret rushing it and more information will probably help clarify your feelings. 

Posted

This is great advice. I'm dealing with the same issue. A compelling admission offer from one of my top choices, but I still want to hear back from the other schools, even though I'm not sure I would accept their offer. I like the advice here to be patient... because you never know what may come up. 

Posted

That makes sense. Thank you for the advice! It *is* a huge relief to know that I have somewhere to go, and that somewhere is a great program : D  I probably should wait to hear back from at least a few more schools & get some more info. Plus, after paying all of those application fees, I do think I deserve to know what the other schools thought of my application :P

Posted

Someone posted elsewhere on the site-- I wish I remember where, probably in "Waiting it Out" -- about the "science of being happy" and how, when we have limited choices (some of them not very good), we tend to make ourselves happier anyways with the option we've been given. This is probably what's happening to you -- you've gotten into a great program (congrats, by the way!) and so you are mentally going over all of its strengths in your mind "just in case" you don't get into any other programs. Not to psychoanalyze you or anything -- the exact same thing happened to me a couple weeks ago when I got into my last choice a few hours before getting into my top choice in the same day. I rationalized myself as happy at the last choice school for several hours, and then was over the moon about my top choice afterwards :) But, all the same points I used to rationalize the last choice are now still legitimate arguments in my head as to why I should go there....

 

I say stick it out unless you know for sure that you would go to this school even if all the other schools offered you equivalent or better offers. And definitely try to get a feel for the program and department before settling on it without having heard back from the other programs first!

Posted

Someone posted elsewhere on the site-- I wish I remember where, probably in "Waiting it Out" -- about the "science of being happy" and how, when we have limited choices (some of them not very good), we tend to make ourselves happier anyways with the option we've been given. This is probably what's happening to you -- you've gotten into a great program (congrats, by the way!) and so you are mentally going over all of its strengths in your mind "just in case" you don't get into any other programs. Not to psychoanalyze you or anything -- the exact same thing happened to me a couple weeks ago when I got into my last choice a few hours before getting into my top choice in the same day. I rationalized myself as happy at the last choice school for several hours, and then was over the moon about my top choice afterwards :) But, all the same points I used to rationalize the last choice are now still legitimate arguments in my head as to why I should go there....

 

I say stick it out unless you know for sure that you would go to this school even if all the other schools offered you equivalent or better offers. And definitely try to get a feel for the program and department before settling on it without having heard back from the other programs first!

 

 

Quilledink, that is a great point: we do have that tendency to try to make ourselves feel better about the options we have. That's why waiting can be such a good thing, as it gives us time to see which considerations 'stick' after the initial emotions fade. Sometimes those thoughts are right, and the rationalizations are actually true, in which case you'll probably end up accepting. However, I know I feel so much better about a decision if I make sure it is being made because it is truly right for me, not just due to an emotional roller-coaster like the grad school application process! 

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