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is it neurotic to be nervous about not having control over the decision anymore?

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I've arrived at my final decision.  I've looked at it from a million different angles.  I've consulted all of the faculty members who know me the best and I trust.  All signs point to one school.  And yet... I have no sense of peace about it.


I don't intend to linger for more than a day or two because of course I want to respect the much greater stress people on the waitlist are under.  But, is it normal to have lingering feelings of uncertainty after you think you've arrived at your final decision?  how did you deal with these feelings?  did they ever go away?  am I insane?


any and all views would be very much appreciated :)

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I fear that I am about to do the same. I have not made a decision, but will have to make it soon, and I am sensing that my anxieties and doubts will not simply disappear. I guess it's normal to an extent, but try not to obsess about it since you already made the decision. If it makes you go crazy, just try doing something else immediately - go see a friend, take a walk or go to the gym, watch a comedy, etc. Over time you'll probably be more certain that you've made the right decision and try to view the good things about what's gonna be happening with you when the program starts - new environment, new interesting people, colleagues who will appreciate your work/research, etc. I tend to think that even if there are to be negative aspects, things usually sort out. If you had given yourself enough time to look at your decision from all those million angles that you mentioned, you've most likely made the right decision. So, just try to relax and celebrate :)

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Sometimes that anxiety won't go away until you start the process of enrolling, getting your email account set up, or even as far as your first day of interacting in your department on campus. I had a similar level of anxiety, feeling nervous about my grad program, etc, when did my masters in teaching. And I did mine at the same place as my undergrad! It all settles down once you get comfortable in your new life.

You might also find that your stress goes away once you are far away from this time of deciding. Your brain is reminding you of the stress you went through to get to that decision, and instead of enjoying and reveling in the news that you know a little bit of what is coming, your brain is forcing you to think about the "what-ifs" and the unknowns of tomorrow.

Focus on all of the good things, decline the offers you don't want, accept the offer you do want, and then try to focus your attention elsewhere. It might help the anxiety to dissipate. Good luck!!!

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