When Waiting Leads to Self-Doubt

[chocolatecranberry]

Does anyone else start to regret applying or feeling disheartened by the wait?

 

I applied to only one graduate school -- I know, I know, I should have at least applied to a back-up, but wishes and dreams don't pay application fees -- but between the waiting and my peers' talk about their accomplishments, my hopes aren't too high for acceptance.

 

I don't have any publications under my belt, I don't have research experience, and my GPA is only a B+ or A- average. I don't have my GRE scores, because my program didn't require them and wishes and dreams don't pay for that, either. Internships? I don't have any of those either because I didn't even know those were available to undergraduates (which is why I don't have the research experience, either).

 

I can't even claim that my work experience is useful to my field, because I've only had one job in my life.

 

I just... ugh! This whole waiting thing is starting to make me doubt the past four years of my undergraduate experience. I keep thinking of all the things I should have done and could have done if only I'd known about the opportunities, and now I feel like I'm an unattractive candidate compared to all of the amazing candidates my department of interest is no doubt receiving.

[JazzHands]

Just hang in there. You never know if you don't try...

 

Good on you for applying  

[Guest hopefulfool]

I just... ugh! This whole waiting thing is starting to make me doubt the past four years of my undergraduate experience. I keep thinking of all the things I should have done and could have done if only I'd known about the opportunities, and now I feel like I'm an unattractive candidate compared to all of the amazing candidates my department of interest is no doubt receiving.

I feel exactly the same way. There are things I wish I could change, but unfortunately I lack the ability to go back in time and tell my freshman undergraduate self to not take that class on Ethics or Spanish IV. However, there are other things that I know now that I didn't know when I was an undergraduate and I want to blame myself, but at the same time I spent SO much money on my undergraduate education that I kind of hoped that it would have better prepared me for graduate level work. I even went as far as to compare my education in my field compared to what is being taught at different departments and to say the least, I am not pleased. Therefore, I am now wishing I went to a different school for undergrad. 

 

You got to work with the cards that you've been dealt and hope for the best!

[dr.ew]

I'm in a similar boat; definitely feeling unprepared when I compare myself to other posters. I wish I'd taken my undergraduate more seriously in the earlier years, but it took time for me to figure out my goals. I also have so many things I'd do differently in the application process. Waaay to much time for hindsight these last couple months; been picking myself apart like a vulture.

If there's one thing this forum has taught me, however, is that there are few generalizations to be made in the application process; between the individual candidates, degrees, and departments, there are so many variables that make one's fate difficult to predict or compare to that of others. At this point, therefore, I serve my assumption of the worst with a small side of hope. Worst comes to worst, I'll apply again next year a bit wiser, and try to spend the meantime as productively and sane-ly as possible.

[Huw]

I think GPA and course grades don't really matter much. Mine suck and I have had really good response this year. I have five Cs on my transcript, most are from the last year or so. 

 

From my experience, the only thing important is some real world experience. That's basically the only thing good about my application (and it's not even all that impressive itself). If you don't get in, just take a year and do some serious exp hunting. Then apply to >5 schools next time and watch the invites roll in.

[stephchristine0]

Now you have another whole year to work, study harder, do well and improve the next application season  

[sansao]

I'll say this, in case you don't get in: it really isn't the end of the world, but it really will feel like it is. The only thing that finally picked me up from last year was submitting apps this year. I was able to replace embarrassment and frustration with hope and a sense of perseverance. This year it paid off. If it's what you want, keep trying.

[doctorawho]

Does anyone else start to regret applying or feeling disheartened by the wait?

 

I don't regret applying but I feel so worried that I haven't heard from my school yet. I applied for an MFA at SVA (yes, just one school...!) and I haven't gotten any emails or letters yet. It won't be the end of the world if I don't get in because I'm 22 but it would be great for my career path if I get in. I didn't study art in college but I've been pretty active in the community and my job right now is at a design studio.

[frwang]

Sounds like you've got a good thing going for you. As sucky as it is to get a rejection, you should remember that there are always other options including reapplying next year. But don't lose hope yet, you won't know until you know. Good luck!!