When to be pushy about getting a rec done?

[Loric]

I was unsure who i was going to ask for a letter or reccomendation because i've been out of school for a few years.

 

I turned to my program director because i've actually worked directly under him. I sent a ridiculously long winded email because i didn't think it'd even get read. I googled a bit and realized the email address I had from working under him probably was outdated (the school changed the email format for faculty, that's how long i've been out) and I resent the email to the new address with a note at the top explaining the email thing if he got a duplicate.

 

He replied back in a few minutes to that email being like "I'd be happy to. I'll get to it this week or next."

 

Sweet. I didn't reply. I mean, he's a very busy man and he'll get to it. In my long winded thing i mentioned how it's rolling admission without a firm deadline.

 

That was the 7th.. on the 28th I sent a follow up email being like "Just checking in, let me know if there's anything else you need from me." Ya know, the polite version of "Where my letter at?!?!"  No reply, no letter ticked off on my checklist in the admissions system.

 

Oh, and I'm stressing because I can see all the bits off my application as my assigned admissions advisor checks them off. I don't see his letter in there yet.. but my advisor is umm.. slow..? at times..? For example I sent him emails about both my first letter of rec (the rec BCC'd me) and my GRE scores after i knew he had them and was like "Hey.. don't see this on my admissions profile, just wanted to make sure you got it! Thanks." A few hours later he'd update it and then send me an email being like "Yup! Got it!"

 

So.. in theory admissions guy could also be sitting on the letter, not that it's not written.

 

If anything typing out this post has made me aware that I'm doing a decent job of masking my neurosis.

 

But really, at what point do I get pushy or something? i guess i dont want to be pushy - I just want it done. What do I do? I'm starting to think all parties are getting sick of getting emails from me.

[Lisa44201]

When is the admissions deadline? I wouldn't really freak out until about a month before that point. I'd e-mail your admissions person maybe six weeks before the deadline to see if he is sitting on anything, then begin to be thoroughly conscientious (politically correct way of saying neurotic).

[123hardasABC]

When I was asking for letters, I made it clear when I wanted my application to be submitted by so they had a deadline to work off of. I emailed them about a month before this deadline to remind them. I suppose I'm lucky because all my writers submitted their letters shortly after the second email. If they hadn't, I would have sent out another series of reminders at the 2 weeks mark. 

[TakeruK]

What I did was first send out a simple request for an LOR. When the profs agreed, I told them I would get back to them with more information later. About 4 weeks before the first deadline (6 weeks before most of the deadlines), I sent each LOR writer a 1-page summary of each school, sorted by deadline, and at the top I put my GRE scores, GPA, and 2-3 sentences about my research interests/goals. I also attached my CV. At this time, I also registered my LOR writers as LOR writers in my online application so they would get the email on where to submit their letter.

 

Then, about 2 weeks before each school's deadline, I resent the reminder using the online system so that they would have the direct link to it again. I repeated a reminder at 2 days before and on the day of the deadline.

 

The majority of my letters were submitted either the day before, the day of, or the day after the deadline. I think this is normal. One prof submitted all of his letters at once, so the day before the deadline of the first school, he submitted letters for all the schools! Most profs I know tend to not do things until close to the deadline, because they are very busy, so I would just send occasional emails now and not worry until the deadline. I'd trust the prof to do it as long as I send the reminder email a week or so before and then a day or so before so that it doesn't catch them off guard!

[Loric]

I honestly went back and reread the reply email to make sure i didn't imagine the "happy to" part of the response. Ya know, maybe my brain was reading what it wants, not what's printed. It's there.

 

There's no solid deadline (rolling, no cap on students - if you're in, you're in.. but that doesnt mean you're being funded), but the school asks you submit a minimum of 30 days prior to the semester you want to attend. That seems awfully short doesn't it? Especially since they say the review can take 2 full weeks. Finish app, wait two weeks, get accept, show up in two weeks for class. Yeesh. "Hello, U-Haul? I need a truck, stat!"

 

That said, I already asked for (and was granted) my app pushed back to the next semester (they're on quarters) because of unexpected snafus in getting my transcripts sent. This is my attempt to at least not have to try that "2-weeks then show up" theory out. They also said you can push it back twice before having to start over.

 

I'm keenly aware this whole process is very weird and out of the norm. If we're going by the 30 day thing my "do or die" deadline was originally November, now it's February. I had no intention of being so close to the deadline when i started this process a few months ago.

 

I was like "Hmm, this program matches my interests and I do want a career in the field rather than my boring day job.. I think I'll apply.."

 

When i was in undergrad i had a whole class that was essentially "How to get into grad school.". My department took the upper level students and made us do a "lab" course in our final year. It was "go to this conference, how's your presentation of this? you're showing THAT in your portfolio? Let everyone critque your resume! It's week XYZ, you should be sending inquiry letters for ABC..." etc..

 

My homework was research schools, writing to them, contacting people, etc..  So winging it now is such a culture shock.

[TakeruK]

Oh, I realised I missed the part about "rolling admissions" in your first part. Sorry! Maybe in your next email, you can say it would be great if you could get it by X date and ask if that would work for them? Maybe send this in about a week?

[Loric]

It's fine, no worries Unique situation.

 

So waiting a week is kosher? I guess i dont have much of a choice. Just not sure what to say in the next email.

[TakeruK]

Well a week from now would be about a month from the original request! But I would try to get a firm date (either set by the prof or agreed on by both of you) sooner rather than later!

[repentwalpurgis]

What I did was first send out a simple request for an LOR. When the profs agreed, I told them I would get back to them with more information later. About 4 weeks before the first deadline (6 weeks before most of the deadlines), I sent each LOR writer a 1-page summary of each school, sorted by deadline, and at the top I put my GRE scores, GPA, and 2-3 sentences about my research interests/goals. I also attached my CV. At this time, I also registered my LOR writers as LOR writers in my online application so they would get the email on where to submit their letter.

 

Then, about 2 weeks before each school's deadline, I resent the reminder using the online system so that they would have the direct link to it again. I repeated a reminder at 2 days before and on the day of the deadline.

 

The majority of my letters were submitted either the day before, the day of, or the day after the deadline. I think this is normal. One prof submitted all of his letters at once, so the day before the deadline of the first school, he submitted letters for all the schools! Most profs I know tend to not do things until close to the deadline, because they are very busy, so I would just send occasional emails now and not worry until the deadline. I'd trust the prof to do it as long as I send the reminder email a week or so before and then a day or so before so that it doesn't catch them off guard!

I'm having a similar problem - I've met personally with each letter writer and they've agreed to write for me.  They asked initially that I send old essays in order to begin thinking about the letter.  In that particular email (a little less than a month ago), I asked if the deadline I had in mind was okay, and promised more information in a few weeks - no reply to that.  Figured that was okay, they knew I was sending the information since we discussed it days prior!

This week, I sent a cover sheet with details about my application and research interests, GPA, a copy of the SOP, etc.  Still - no reply.  I know - don't get me wrong, how busy each one of these people are, but when should I start freaking out?  Can I simply ask for a "please email me if you've seen this?"  Each one of these professors is extremely kind and willing to help, and I can't see them backing out...

Edited October 31, 2013 by repentwalpurgis

[IRToni]

I personally had very different experience with different professors, so I've been tailoring my responses to them: One professor just ignores 95% of his emails (or skims them), so I call him up close to the deadline, and he does it, and his secretary sends me a "Done!!" email right after, at least for those schools that don't have automatic tracking! Other professors just get email reminders. I try to do 4 weeks, 1 week, 1 day, if they haven't proven themselves to be very on top of things, or very behind. This is only after the first one has been written though, for the first one, I tend to do 4 weeks, 1 week, 3 days, if necessary day-of, so they'll have the time.

 

I also asked all of them to please send me a short confimation once they've submitted the LoRs (again, without automatic tracking), and noone considered it rude or weird. So far, they all appreciated me being so on top of things, because it's one less thing for them to worry about, if I make sure that they're aware of all the deadlines.

[TakeruK]

I think it's a good idea and perfectly fine to follow up your email with "can you just quickly let me know if you saw this?" (to repentwalpurgis). If they are in the same school, you could consider dropping by in person too.

 

Also, a lot of programs will send you an email whenever they receive an LOR for you, which is super awesome.

[Loric]

Admissions guy responded "No second letter yet."

 

Dangit, I was hoping to avoid having to push. Bleh.

[repentwalpurgis]

Sent the "could you quickly let me know if you've seen this letter" to the two recs.  One responded, "Yes, great seeing you - let me know if I drop the ball - I'm busy but this is really important!"  Phew.  Other, no response.  Do I freak out?  Do I call them?  I'm especially afraid of badgering this person; when I asked for the rec (in person) it was an "of course!"  I can't see them just dropping me....but....... .  All I want is a "yes" (I'm still writing it) and "yes" (I saw your materials).  Just for the perspective, this person agreed to writing for me at least two months ago....

 

I guess, another thing I could do is email their gmail account - which I'm *fairly* certain is linked with their university account?.....

Edited November 2, 2013 by repentwalpurgis

[Loric]

Since you talked recently in person, I think it's more than fine to call - call their university phone number. Heck it's the weekend, do it now, you can leave a message

 

I don't think you're being irrational or anything by asking, you need this and they said they'd do it. Offer to provide any info, etc, they may need when you mention it. That way it sort of comes off like "Oh, did I forget to get you everything you needed? I'm so sorry, what can I do to help?"

[repentwalpurgis]

Since you talked recently in person, I think it's more than fine to call - call their university phone number. Heck it's the weekend, do it now, you can leave a message

 

I don't think you're being irrational or anything by asking, you need this and they said they'd do it. Offer to provide any info, etc, they may need when you mention it. That way it sort of comes off like "Oh, did I forget to get you everything you needed? I'm so sorry, what can I do to help?"

Good idea. I DID, however, send the initial email with materials...and that follow up.  Is it insane and bad on my part to try to contact them twice by email, then by phone......three times in a week?  OIFJASDFJSDLKFJ;SDLFJKSDF.  I feel like I should wait until next week, but it's also crunch time to make sure my letter writers have everything they need to finish it up in three weeks or so... (November 30th)

 

I'm just worried - do professors often just drop students they were backing?  I honestly wouldn't even care if they were eventually late in submitting these letters, not submitting at all is far worse.

[repentwalpurgis]

oh dang, sorry to take over your thread, Loric.

[Loric]

oh dang, sorry to take over your thread, Loric.

 

No, it's ok - I feel your frustration right now myself. I dont think they drop students.. I think they don't like to write these things. Writing does not come naturally for a lot of people so it's a task to sit down and figure it all out.

[repentwalpurgis]

No, it's ok - I feel your frustration right now myself. I dont think they drop students.. I think they don't like to write these things. Writing does not come naturally for a lot of people so it's a task to sit down and figure it all out.

I think my next step is printing out hard copies of my materials, and making a trek out to his office hours this week.  Then I won't feel on the verge of a heart attack any more!

[Loric]

I did the whole follow-up email again today and included a bit about just trying to tie up loose ends and if he could let me know he recieved it, that'd be peachy.

 

He replied, says it's on his radar, and should be done by thursday. Woot.

[Loric]

Omg he still hasn't written it....

 

What should I do? 

 

Sent another follow up monday, no response. Emailed another professor in the department who wrote a rec for me for advice, he said "keep on him" and "he's terrible about stuff like that, it's not just you." 

 

I'm just at a loss. Suggestions?

Edited November 14, 2013 by Loric

[Loric]

Omg omg omg omg it's not submitted.

 

I just left a voicemail with his secretary/the department voicemail being like "You were supposed to write me a letter!" - well, more like "This message is for so and so.." but giving all the details. I dunno, embarrassing to ramble through to a department voicemail but it's his department so in theory he's gonna get the call. 

 

It's officially the last thing in my application. *bangs head on table*

 

Ya know? I could have been forced to have that awkward conversation. I didn't. I left a voicemail and now I hope a secretary takes the utmost pity on me. 

[Loric]

It's submitted!

 

YAY!!!!!

 

Now i get to submit everything else and get rejected for that instead of not finishing my app! YAY!!!

[socioholic]

Well I still appear to be on the edge of major screw-dom. Only one recommender has uploaded her letters. The other two have been MIA. One has a full voice mailbox.

[socioholic]

Just went down to one's office. He's just been really busy. I knew this about him to begin with; he's involved in a lot of projects. He says he's still on board. My heartbeat has slowed down just a tad...

 

until- I found out my other recommender had surgery! now I really have no idea what to do.

Edited November 27, 2013 by socioholic

[socioholic]

Update- deadlines are in a week (for all but one) and still not a peep from #3. Had to reach out to another person who agreed to help (thank God).