Rude email from DGS/English Dept.

[purpleperson]

Would you apply to a school whose English dept. DGS had been rude to you in an email?  And when I say "rude," I mean one of those polite on the surface but still clearly annoyed/snarky emails.  

 

Suffice it to say that the DGS of a particular school was rude to me in this way over email, and because it's a school I'm only thinking of as a last-minute addition (not a part of the set of schools I've been targeting), I'm thinking...forget about it -- both 1) on principle (why would I want to apply to a school whose director of graduate studies was rude about me asking the very same question to which other schools have replied very graciously with an abundance of information?, and 2) because he'd probably remember having been annoyed by me anyway, and my application would thus be a waste.

 

Mind you, I don't think one instance of rudeness "defines" a person.  (I've been rude to people before, of course, but I don't think it defines me).  Yet, when your interaction with someone is limited, like to this one email exchange, it just seems a bigger deal than usual.

 

Before I submit this: let me say that I'm asking this question more in a conversational sense than an "I'm torn about what to do" sense.  I already have schools I want to apply to.  And not applying to this school (or applying to it) means very little to me.  I could take it or leave it, and I hear their funding is not so great anyway.  But how have the rest of you been responding to rude emails from English departments? ( I mean, either just in your mind or how has it affected your attitude about the school in general?  Has it actually made you want to apply or not appy?)  

 

(I've actually only experienced this one instance of rudeness).  Some other schools have been brief in replies, like "Yes, we do accept it double-spaced" (and that's it), but that's just brief, not rude.   The one I'm talking about from today was rude.  

 

Also, Ohio State U being so incredibly nice to me over email has made me want to apply there, even though they're out of my league.  They're a good fit for me, though, so it's not just that they're super nice (although that certainly helps).

Edited November 14, 2013 by purpleperson

[med latte]

Perhaps you are overthinking this a bit.  We all have bad days when we are overwhelmed and don't perform at the level we should -- DGSs included.  He or she probably gets a ton of email and will not remember your interaction.  It seems you were offended one person, who may or may not be in the job a year from now.  If the school is a good fit for your interests, I say go for it.  Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater over one poor interaction.  Look beyond -- have you have good interactions with other professors?  Do their specialties match your passions?  The program is more than this one (albeit rude) person.

[ComeBackZinc]

Personally, I find it very hard to assess this without knowing what exactly you said and what exactly the email back to you said. I don't doubt at all that a DGS could be rude, and I also think this could happen regardless of the prestige or quality of the department. That said, I happen to also know that emails from prospective grad students are often rude themselves. A DGS I know well (not at my own institution) told me she's amazed at the number of emails she gets that are aggressive or entitled-- emails of the type, "I'm going to have lots of great offers, so tell me, why should I come to your institution?"

 

I'm not saying that's what you've done. I am saying that this is a very harried and frenzied time of the year for faculty and support staff. There's not just a flood of grad applications. There's the whole process of getting a department's worth of classes finished, including the assignment of grades, whatever assessment regimes might be in place, getting letters of rec out for undergrads who are applying to graduate school, getting letters out for grads who are applying to faculty positions, getting grant and fellowship information out, figuring out scheduling for next semester, figuring out funding.... It's a crazy time and a ton of work. And while you very well may not have been rude, your own email may have echoed other emails that were rude. Or, as you suggest, maybe it was just a bad day.

 

In any event, I wouldn't spike a school I was interested in applying to simply because of one rude email. Especially considering that, in a lot of contexts, once you get in the DGS could very well have almost nothing to do with your career. That's certainly the case for me here. Think it over, and try to be forgiving if possible. You certainly have a right to expect minimally polite emails from a DGS, but you should also try and locate this behavior in the context of an almost-certainly overstressed, overworked, underpaid administrator's life.

[purpleperson]

 A DGS I know well (not at my own institution) told me she's amazed at the number of emails she gets that are aggressive or entitled-- emails of the type, "I'm going to have lots of great offers, so tell me, why should I come to your institution?"

 

 

 

I'd rather not get into details, but suffice it to say that my initial email was neutral by any normal person's standards.  Certainly it wasn't dripping with ego and entitlement like what you described above (lol).  I'd never speak that way, especially given that I actually expect no offers -- no way in hell am I anticipating "great" ones.  

 

Anyway, I asked a neutral question, he answered with politeness overlaying obvious snark (of the stressed-out administrator type), I replied back very politely yet also with a strong defense of myself (I'm kinda pleased with myself for being extremely polite and, at the same time, clearly standing up for myself.)  He answered (as of five minutes ago) with a very polite and apologetic email that even offered to speak with me on the phone if I would like and ended with "I look forward to reading your application."  

 

I still don't know that I'll apply there, though.  I'll think about it.  But at this point, it has nothing to do with the emails.  

Edited November 14, 2013 by purpleperson

[fuzzylogician]

I think you're over-interpreting this. Suppose you're right and someone was rude to you. You've already said you know it doesn't have to define their behavior, and your latest post makes it sound like indeed it doesn't. I wouldn't really let this one incident make up my mind one way or the other. For one, how much influence will this person have on your life anyway? My DGS is someone I see once a year, if I so please, and she has almost no power over me. Even if she was terribly rude and unhelpful, the role she plays in my life is so limited that it'd hardly be worth worrying about. Certainly if I had chosen not to apply because of the kind of interaction you are describing, I think it would have caused me to miss out on really great *actual* working relationships with wonderful advisors. 

 

So -- I'd continue vetting this school as before to decide if it is overall a good place to apply to, and I would not give this one interaction you had too much weight. 

[purpleperson]

I think you're over-interpreting this. Suppose you're right and someone was rude to you. You've already said you know it doesn't have to define their behavior, and your latest post makes it sound like indeed it doesn't. I wouldn't really let this one incident make up my mind one way or the other. For one, how much influence will this person have on your life anyway? My DGS is someone I see once a year, if I so please, and she has almost no power over me. Even if she was terribly rude and unhelpful, the role she plays in my life is so limited that it'd hardly be worth worrying about. Certainly if I had chosen not to apply because of the kind of interaction you are describing, I think it would have caused me to miss out on really great *actual* working relationships with wonderful advisors. 

 

So -- I'd continue vetting this school as before to decide if it is overall a good place to apply to, and I would not give this one interaction you had too much weight. 

 

Thanks for your thoughts.  As I said, my applying there or not has nothing to do with the emails.  I'll keep looking into them.  I may or may not apply.  

[iExcelAtMicrosoftPuns]

I once heard back from a POI who spelled a word wrong. WTF, your in a writing department!



(obvious sarcasm is obvious)