Should I Even Visit...?

[Munashi]

I'm having a(n awesome) dilemma where I was admitted to my top 2 program choices.  As many on here do, let's call the from program A and program B.  Both are top ranked programs.

 

Program A paid for me to visit for an interview weekend.  I was expecting the whole experience to be awful and stressful, but it was actually really enjoyable.  I loved the people there (other students and faculty), which is saying something because I am very introverted and often don't have that response to social situations.  The adviser I would be working with is fantastic - perfect research fit, and seems like a really good personality fit.  Said would-be adviser is also well-known the field and does excellent work.  Would be able to live on the stipend here without debt due to low cost of living.

 

Program B admitted me on the basis of a phone interview.  The draw for program B is location.  It's a place I've always dreamed of living.  However, the cost of living there is astronomically high.  I would have to take out a lot of debt and likely still be too "house poor" (rent) to enjoy my surroundings.  Commuting would also be factor, since I'd have to live pretty far from school to even pretend to be able to afford housing.  The faculty there is also excellent, but the research fit is not as perfect as A's.

 

B has invited me to their admitted students day, but they are offering no funding for this trip.  I'd also be responsible for getting myself around the city on the train (with my luggage, etc) with no reimbursement.

 

I feel like I should visit B just to check and ensure that it isn't some magical utopia far more amazing than I ever dreamed, which was a little like my experience at A.  Part of me thinks I should spend the money, give B a chance, and be "more sure" about my decision.  Another part of me thinks I'll end up at A no matter what, and that visiting be would be a waste of time (off work) and money.  I also have a concern that I will visit B, get wrapped up in my love of the area (my dream city), and possibly decide to attend the program for the wrong reasons.

 

Any input is appreciated.  What do you all think?  Should I drop the $500-600 to visit B?  Is it a waste, or would it be foolish not to?  Thank you for reading.

[hikaru1221]

How about taking the chance to travel around B's city, enjoy your dream to the fullest, then heading to A for grad studies?

[Kaitri]

I know that $500-$600 seems like a lot now, but it's absolutely worth the money to visit the city and college to get a feel for the place. Think about how much you spent on your applications - do you want to waste that money by making the wrong decision and picking a program without completely exploring all of the options available to you?

 

The more you know about a school, the city and the people who are in and run the program, the better equipped you will be to make an informed decision. 500 bucks seems like a modest investment when it comes to planning the next four years of your life.

[Munashi]

I know that $500-$600 seems like a lot now, but it's absolutely worth the money to visit the city and college to get a feel for the place. Think about how much you spent on your applications - do you want to waste that money by making the wrong decision and picking a program without completely exploring all of the options available to you?

 

The more you know about a school, the city and the people who are in and run the program, the better equipped you will be to make an informed decision. 500 bucks seems like a modest investment when it comes to planning the next four years of your life.

 

You raise a very valid point.  My other concern is that housing around A fills up very quickly.  Visiting B will render me unable to look until mid-March, and I'm worried most affordable options will have filled by then.

 

But I do think you raise a good point - it's important to be sure... Bah.

[justinmcummings]

I say spend the money, you never really know about a place till you visit it in person.

[phdcandidate022014]

Go to A.  Here's what I'm hearing from you:

 

1. A is a better research fit.

2. A has people you've met and really like.

3. A is a better location in that you could live close to campus and live within your means.

4. B could cause you to incur debt.  Not necessarily a bad thing if it's the perfect research program, but it sounds like A is the better fit.

5. B does not offer you any reimbursement for your incurred expenses.

6. If you go to "B", there is the direct cost plus opportunity cost (missing work).  Plus, it sounds like you'd have a lot of disappointment if that trip to B didn't go well - you'd say "I knew it wouldn't be a good fit ahead of time, I wasted $600, and took time off of work, when I could have been focusing my energies on my true love, A"

 

Since all B has done is review your application and interview you, you both are even (you took the time (and spent money) to fill an application out, they took the time to review it. You shouldn't feel guilty about not accepting B's offer, every school as I'm sure you know extends more offers than they can handle because they know people typically apply to multiple schools, etc. 

 

So to sum up: Go with A.

Edited February 28, 2014 by phdcandidate022014

[x13LadeZx]

It sounds like your opinion towards are a little biased because you feel that A is your best fit and it might be. But you need to visit B, talk to the faculty, staff and grad students there to really know if B actually isn't right for you. Often you'll find that you'll be surprised about the misconceptions you have about it (I.e cost of living, affordable housing options, research alignment)

[seeingeyeduck]

The question is what will you do if you end up liking B?

Will you actually change your mind and go? If you would be willing to take on the debt, then you should visit just in case. If ultimately you will make a decision based on finances and will not go anyway, you should just save your money now and try to make peace with your decision. Otherwise you're just dangling what you can't have in front of your own nose and touring yourself!

[Munashi]

The question is what will you do if you end up liking B?

Will you actually change your mind and go? If you would be willing to take on the debt, then you should visit just in case. If ultimately you will make a decision based on finances and will not go anyway, you should just save your money now and try to make peace with your decision. Otherwise you're just dangling what you can't have in front of your own nose and touring yourself!

 

This is also what I'm concerned about.  You've hit the nail right on the head.

[Dark-Helmed]

From what it sounds like, the question seems to be do you want to spend $500-$600 now to have a mini-vacation in city B that happens to have an academic component? 

 

A sounds like a pretty fantastic option, even if the location isn't quite as ideal as B.   Frankly, from what you've said it sounds like everyting about B would be suboptimal compared to A (and, actually, pretty miserable), except for the city.  Can you imagine some other opportunity that would bring you to city B in the future?

[beccamayworth]

I agree with everyone that A just seems like the better option in all accounts. 

 

If I were in this situation, I think I would visit B just because I have this urgent need to have all the information I can in order to make a decision.

 

Also, visiting B will give you a chance to network with people that must be important to you, since they're your 2nd choice.  

[Kaitri]

I agree with everyone that A just seems like the better option in all accounts. 

 

If I were in this situation, I think I would visit B just because I have this urgent need to have all the information I can in order to make a decision.

 

Also, visiting B will give you a chance to network with people that must be important to you, since they're your 2nd choice.  

 

Excellent points. As long as visiting doesn't affect your chances of succeeding at your preferred school, $500 isn't enough of a reason not to visit. You will learn valuable info about the other city, and you may meet people who will prove useful to you later in your career. More information + networking opportunities + mini vacation = worth $500.

 

Just make sure you choose the school that will be the best for you overall - none of us can help you determine which factors should be weighted the highest for you personally. Some people will weight funding over fit, others will do the opposite. Some would suggest that you choose a school located in a city you will be happy to live in for 4-7 years, while others would say that the location doesn't matter that much.

 

Here's what I would suggest you do when making your final decision:

 

Step 1: List ALL of the factors that are involved in the decision. Rate each school on a scale of 1-5 for each factor.

 

Step 2: Review the factors and group them according to a series of high-level categories. Assign each of these categories a unique label (i.e. funding, additional research opportunities, quality of life, climate, etc.).

 

Step 3: Group all factors together based on their high-level category label.

 

Step 4: Rank order each of the high-level category labels in terms of what matters most to you.

 

Step 5: Review the results for each school based on the ranking you just determined. Once you see how both schools performed based on your ranking system, you should be able to choose a school more easily (because one of them will probably outperform the other).

 

Step 6: Pick a school and give yourself a holiday for the day since you're going to a school you will love, and will be doing something exciting for the next few years.

[seeingeyeduck]

Try this on for size: how about you make sure you are clear in your own head about which factors are important and what questions you need to ask, then you go and systematically make observations about those factors. For example, you could decide that one factor is the biggest factor but that you will lightly consider others. That means, you allow yourself to check it out and to observe the good parts but you still know exactly how your decision is going to be weighted, and you don't allow a moment's good vibes to change that decision.

I'm just afraid that you might go and find the people nice and start rethinking when it may still be in your long term best interest to go to A. I had a friend who had to choose between full funding at UCLA and no funding at Columbia for law. She chose C because it was a better school and she didn't want to have regrets, but given that her interest was labor law instead of lucrative corporate law, the debt is a huge stressor in her life right now to the point where she is thinking about it all the time. So we don't always correctly predict how we will feel about something in the future.

Have you heard of the Daniel Gilbert book called Stumbling on Happiness? His study showed that people are terrible predictors of what is best for their future selves and the people who were happiest about their decisions were the ones who sought out others who had made similar decisions in the past and talked to them about whether they were happy about their decision in retrospect. So if you have time to do this before deciding about the visit, see if you can get in touch with former students.

Sometimes we drive ourselves crazy trying to decide in our own heads about something with which we have no experience in the first place - so what are we really basing our decision on? Get some "data"!

[Munashi]

I really appreciate all of these replies, everyone.  I am still kind of waffling/"deciding", but I do want to express my gratitude for you all taking the time to read my post and respond to me!