Thank you gifts

[wilderbeast]

So there are a few professors at my undergrad. institution that have done a lot for me over the years. Mostly I plan to give out hand-written thank you cards, but for the two professors I've worked with for the last 2 years (and pestered for LoRs, bugged about research, asked coursework problems, traveled to conferences with, etc.) I want to do something nicer.

One of the professors I know quite well and have spent a lot of time with in the last four years (even doing non-academic things, a couple times, as we have an overlapping hobby of sorts). He really likes scotch, so I bought him a nice ($65) bottle of scotch. I think he will like it, but I also don't want to make him feel really awkward or weird... do you think it is too much? (I hope not since I don't drink the stuff, and already bought it... )

I am not sure what gifts are appropriate for the other professor. He's not the sort who would really enjoy chocolate (and is kind of a rough-around the edges character), so I was thinking maybe a bottle of wine, but I don't know... any ideas? what are your thoughts on this? I think he likes scotch as well, but don't know his taste, and don't want to spend another $65 if I can help it (hoping to stay under $50 for this one).

[ElusiveMuse]

I am doing really nice mugs and gourmet coffee or tea, depending on the prof's preference.

I say give the professor what you bought. I am sure even if it isn't the awesomest scotch, the gesture will be appreciated.

[belowthree]

One of the professors I know quite well and have spent a lot of time with in the last four years (even doing non-academic things, a couple times, as we have an overlapping hobby of sorts). He really likes scotch, so I bought him a nice ($65) bottle of scotch. I think he will like it, but I also don't want to make him feel really awkward or weird... do you think it is too much? (I hope not since I don't drink the stuff, and already bought it... )

I am not sure what gifts are appropriate for the other professor. He's not the sort who would really enjoy chocolate (and is kind of a rough-around the edges character), so I was thinking maybe a bottle of wine, but I don't know... any ideas? what are your thoughts on this? I think he likes scotch as well, but don't know his taste, and don't want to spend another $65 if I can help it (hoping to stay under $50 for this one).

I bought wine for most my profs and a bottle of bourbon for one of my other writers, I think it's a good way to go. I didn't spend nearly as much as you did, most people will appreciate the gesture even if you don't hit the top of the shelf, just find something unique instead. A unique choice of something less expensive is an excellent way to save some money and make a great gift.

Also just because someone's rough around the edges doesn't mean they can't secretly have a passion for chocolate! Scotch might go over better though.

Again, aim for something good mid-shelf that they might not have tried before. This is easy to do with wine, there's so many different wines to chose from you can easily get a unique gift.

(I think this is why wine is a fairly common gift.)

[jferreir]

Why not get seemingly random gifts that appeal to their individual interests/personalities? For instance, the gifts I gave ranged from a book on composting to a mixed CD and a homemade t-shirt. They were wacky, fun, and somewhat thoughtful. Best of all, they were inexpensive!

[flit]

If you happen to hit on something he won't use, he can always re-gift it .... even chocolate. It's the thought that counts, right?

I don't do gifts, but my advisor/referee and I do lunch occasionally so I try to pay more than my share (it's a bit of a battle as she usually wants to pay to celebrate whatever)

[liszt85]

My referee listens to a lot of indian classical music and has a huge collection and I have a huge collection of western classical music. I gave her the cds that got me into western classical music, stuff that somebody who influenced me highly (and died in an accident last year)had gifted me when I was 10. She said "it looks like you're saying goodbye,..leaving behind cds with me, etc" but then I told her that that was the only meaningful thing I could leave behind with her. She then asked me to come back to her house sometime to take a few of her indian classical cds since that was what she could do for me! She keeps negating all my efforts at gifting her something.. I wanted to buy her dinner but before I could talk about it she asked me if I could take some time off as she wanted to treat me to dinner! So I'm stumped here..

As for my other two referees, one of them is my MSc thesis supervisor but I don't feel like I know him well enough, so I have no idea what to gift him or if I should. As for my third referee, who was supposed to be my main referee, he was very discouraging, kept saying things like "why're you applying to MIT? Berkeley? These are just too highly ranked.. Your grades aren't good, how can I write a stellar recommendation?" He may have been right but after having worked for him for 2.5 years and totally independently of coursework (I had no obligation to do any of it), and after having submitted a paper for publication (on which he really had no business being second author.. he had no idea what the paper was talking about), he really should have shown a little more appreciation. Also the bad grades I have are in fluid mechanics and thermodynamics and some such core engineering courses and I'm a physics major and the 4 courses I've done that he taught, I have a 9/10 avg on them. So I didn't quite understand why anyone would look at grades in irrelevant courses and decide on how good the recommendation must be. I did send him a small email thanking him. That will do.

[doctoraldude]

I went with books - tailored to each referee's taste (or atleast i think so!) ... and a paper thank-you note tucked in.

Ofcourse all this was before I got any calls from univ's, so it;s been a while.

and now i'm wondering if another round of gifting might be appropriate

[laura510]

I sent them thank you cards & homemade christmas cookies back in December after my letters of rec were in. Do y'all think I should do something else now that I'm in, like wine? I feel like maybe there's a point where it's too much-- seems like sucking up. Now if I get an NSF (still in limbo!), then maybe bring by another gift?

advice?

[jasper.milvain]

I have a silly problem that I could use an opinion on. When I took a seminar with my main letter writer, we had a few classes where we drank red wine to celebrate making course milestones. She brought a specific kind of wine that she likes, and talked it up a bunch. I was thinking of getting her a bottle for her thank you gift, but it's super cheap--like a $14 screw top. Should I add the wine together with a nice scarf or box of chocolates, or is it just creepy that I remember what kind of wine she likes?

[jferreir]

I have a silly problem that I could use an opinion on. When I took a seminar with my main letter writer, we had a few classes where we drank red wine to celebrate making course milestones. She brought a specific kind of wine that she likes, and talked it up a bunch. I was thinking of getting her a bottle for her thank you gift, but it's super cheap--like a $14 screw top. Should I add the wine together with a nice scarf or box of chocolates, or is it just creepy that I remember what kind of wine she likes?

I think that's a great idea! It's not creepy, just thoughtful :wink:

Personally, I would opt for the bottle of wine and a scarf... who doesn't love a ridiculously awesome scarf?

[LingGrad2009]

Sounds fine.

[belowthree]

Wine prices do not correspond with wine goodness. Just buy a good bottle of wine, if you can get a good bottle of wine for $2, that's fine!

I mean don't preclude yourself from throwing in a scarf if you want, but it's the thought from the present, not the amount that's important.

[jasper.milvain]

Thanks, guys.

[rufzilla]

I also have a question about thank you gifts:

For those of you giving thank you gifts after receiving notice about which school you got in, how did you initiate the gift-giving? Did you just drop it off at their office hoping to catch them (possibly just having to drop it off at the department office)? Or did you contact them prior to make sure they would be there so that you could give the gift in person? I'm a little nervous about having to arrange a meeting and having to sit for a long time (their smartness intimidates me a little), but I don't want to be rude considering these are the people that played a large part in my acceptance. Thoughts?

[jferreir]

I also have a question about thank you gifts:

For those of you giving thank you gifts after receiving notice about which school you got in, how did you initiate the gift-giving? Did you just drop it off at their office hoping to catch them (possibly just having to drop it off at the department office)? Or did you contact them prior to make sure they would be there so that you could give the gift in person? I'm a little nervous about having to arrange a meeting and having to sit for a long time (their smartness intimidates me a little), but I don't want to be rude considering these are the people that played a large part in my acceptance. Thoughts?

Ha, I felt the same way!

My suggestion would be to drop by their office unexpectedly (when you know they'll be in) and have a quick informal chat (10-15min). Then you can pretend like you have somewhere to be and avoid all social awkwardness! I would also follow up with one last "thank you" email, carefully articulating what you meant to say, but couldn't, given your intimidation.

Either way, I'm sure they'll appreciate the effort!

[jasper.milvain]

I just dropped mine with a nice card in their mailboxes, and followed up with an e-mail.

[santa]

All of my letter writers live across the country from me, and so I'm trying to decide what to mail them. Some sort of small gift, perhaps a book and a handwritten card? Not sure yet, but would appreciate any (mailable) ideas that you would like to share!

[vern23]

For my letter writers/research adviser i got them gift boxes/baskets form harry and david. They are really nice and they have things like gourmet fruit, gourmet chocolates, candy/snacks, smoked salmon, gourmet dips and mustards and cheeses, wine gift boxes and more. They seemed to really like them.

[laura510]

Ha, I felt the same way!

My suggestion would be to drop by their office unexpectedly (when you know they'll be in) and have a quick informal chat (10-15min).

Wow, 10-15 minutes in my department was like a huge time gift.

[doctoraldude]

All of my letter writers live across the country from me, and so I'm trying to decide what to mail them. Some sort of small gift, perhaps a book and a handwritten card? Not sure yet, but would appreciate any (mailable) ideas that you would like to share!

I'm facing the same problem - sending another gift by post/courier seems kinda cold & detached to me. So I'm planning to visit them instead, and carry along something suitable (thanks for all the gift ideas, folks !)

[GraduateSchoolNut]

I'm reviving this old string again.

I don't have a job but want to do something nice for the people who wrote recommendations for me. Is it tacky to give them each a gift certificate to an online store for $20-30? Am I being super cheap? I really don't have a job!!!

That way, I don't have to worry about catching them when they are in their office. I know some of them are on vacation, so....

[Canofbeans]

Instead of getting them a gift certificate, I would just get them a box of chocolate and a nice card. That shouldn't cost you more than $20-$30 and it's a bit more personal.

[sleepingpoet]

Hi guys,

I'm a very awkward sort of person and going to an office of the cerebral gods I so admire (my profs) is very daunting... I also felt very awkward buying any sort of gift in the first place... But! I do think I should do something. So... A card for sure, but can anyone think of something else that is very non-awkward and non-committal... Chocolates feel so.... utterly over the top romantic (in my case anyway). Advice: much appreciated.

[Jakrabite]

Even I feel weird going with gift certificates. I'm not in the states over the summer. Dunno how to make it more personalized.

[belowthree]

Hand written letter.

There, more personal.