Guilt

[kittythrones]

I have already made my choice for graduate school. In terms of prestige, ranking and job prospects, my choice is a lot higher ranked than my other schools. Not only that but it is spreaded out a lot longer so they had time to drill career and thesis skills onto you. Not only that but my current choice provides more opportunities for me. All schools that I applied to gave me almost full funding so my decision is not based on funding. 

 

The issue is that the other schools are way more friendly. Some of them have already invited me over for mixers & to meet my future cohorts & students. They even checked in to see if I were happy. And they also asked me like 10x, are you sure you want to leave NYU for us. 

 

I am pretty firm in my decision but that doesn't mean I don't feel bad for saying, Thanks but no thanks. 

 

Is anyone else feeling guilt over turning down schools? 

Edited April 10, 2014 by kittythrones

[the_sheath]

OH GOD YES.

 

I was accepted to two programs, and the one I had to turn down (UCSB) was suuuuuper friendly. THEY EVEN CHECKED IN ON ME AFTER THE VISIT TO ASK IF I HAD ANY QUESTIONS. It felt really bad, because I definitely like the people there, and I even liked the program, and everything about the place was great. It just wasn't as good as the other place (UCSD). But it took hours to take the plunge and reject one school and accept the other.

 

I know they have several qualified candidates and all, but STILL. UGH. They went through all that effort to persuade me to enter their program for NOTHING. And to know I had to make some other person feel the harsh sting of rejection, after having been on the rejected end not even one month prior? Feels bad.

[TheGirlWhoLived]

I think most people feel this guilt. But the great thing is, they are also super friendly when your turn them down. People understand that you have a tough decision to make and are understanding. 

Plus, the sooner you turn them down, the sooner they can start recruiting others for their program. 

[HKsai]

I have already made my choice for graduate school. In terms of prestige, ranking and job prospects, my choice is a lot higher ranked than my other schools. Not only that but it is spreaded out a lot longer so they had time to drill career and thesis skills onto you. Not only that but my current choice provides more opportunities for me. All schools that I applied to gave me almost full funding so my decision is not based on funding. 

 

The issue is that the other schools are way more friendly. Some of them have already invited me over for mixers & to meet my future cohorts & students. They even checked in to see if I were happy. And they also asked me like 10x, are you sure you want to leave NYU for us. 

 

I am pretty firm in my decision but that doesn't mean I don't feel bad for saying, Thanks but no thanks. 

 

Is anyone else feeling guilt over turning down schools?

So the school that you turned down asked are you sure you wanna leave NYU for them? Sorry I got confused for a bit :/

[kittythrones]

@HKSai Yes. I've been taking classes for a risk management certificate out of NYU. I am about 5 classes from finishing and the school that I am rejecting kept on sending me asking me was I sure that I will not be attending NYU in the Fall. 

 

The school that I will be attending in the Fall is NOT NYU. Just to clarify

Edited April 11, 2014 by kittythrones

[HKsai]

@HKSai Yes. I've been taking classes for a risk management certificate out of NYU. I am about 5 classes from finishing and the school that I am rejecting kept on sending me asking me was I sure that I will not be attending NYU in the Fall. 

 

The school that I will be attending in the Fall is NOT NYU. Just to clarify

don't feel guilty! You earned what you have now It's only human to pick what's best for us.

[themmases]

Yes, definitely. My second and third choices accepted me earlier and were much friendlier and more communicative than the school I chose, where the staff are great but the university and the process are disorganized. I was prepared for that after going to undergrad in the same system, but I still felt bad holding onto acceptances and getting chirpy emails from these schools, knowing that only bad news from another admissions committee could change my mind.

[Maziana]

Yes! One POI at my second choice school seemed like he *really* wanted to work with me. The department head, after I declined, said something like "we're all disappointed that you aren't going to be joining us; but we understand..." Oh, the crushing guilt. I hope it won't be too awkward when I see them at conferences!