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Discovering that I don't like teaching...


jlr1228

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So I am a first year clinical psych student, want to go into academia so I can do research. This semester I had to guest lecture for my professor a couple of times because she had other meetings that conflicted with class time. I discovered that I really don't like to lecture. I don't know if this is because it isn't my material, or because I don't have a lot of experience with it yet...I like working one on one with students, but not teaching in a giant lecture hall. Is it better when it's your own material??

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Is it better when it's your own material??

 

Yes, it can be -- you get to design the scope of the lecture and guide the story you want to tell about the material, including which relevant cases to use and perhaps speaking re. your own experience. I now really enjoy the planning aspect of it.

 

It also takes a shit ton of practice, trying, some experimentation, some crashes and burns, etc. before you settle into a style and demeanor that suits you. This is my 9th year of teaching and I still get nervous/worked up beforehand, but know how to portray cool and collected in front of the group. My advisor has been doing it even longer -- whole decades -- and won teaching awards -- and I still see him get worked up and do a lot of prep for his courses.

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I've been teaching ESL for two years, and I can definitely tell you that the first couple of weeks I was quaking in my boots. Sometimes you lavish loving care on lesson that you feel really good about, but it unexpectedly bombs among your students, and other times you throw together something at the last minute and it ends up being a hit and stimulating really good discussion. Lecturing is definitely harder than leading a discussion, but it's part of the process and can even be fun if you're talking about something that you really love talking about (I also like preparing power points for lectures and finding pictures to match). Good luck!

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Glad to hear that it gets better! I've only had lecture style experience (besides one on one during office hours). I am looking forward to having teaching experience where it is more discussion based. 

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I had a neutral experience with my first experience with teaching, and by my second TAship I decided I disliked it altogether and didn't want to go into academia.  I changed my mind after I'd gotten more experience.  You're always nervous and disorganized your first time TAing/teaching something, but as you gain more confidence it feels different.  And yes, I have found that I enjoy teaching much more when I'm the one who gets to prepare the materials and lectures.  I got my first taste of that in my third TAship - the first two professors I had TAed for were both somewhat to very disorganized and so TAing always felt rushed and hectic, which I hated.  The third professor I TAed for was very organized and had a whole method and scheme to her madness, and that was a very pleasant experience.  I hate doing anything last-minute, so I think that influenced my feelings.

Ever since then I've TA'ed for other folks and co-taught a class, plus taught my own seminars over the summer, and I *love* doing that.  But I get to plan what the kids are reading and doing and think about how best to present the material.

Also some people just don't like lecturing.  I don't.  It feels awkward to stand in front of 200 students and talk at them for 2 hours. I prefer interactive classes, which is why it's my aim to go to a smaller liberal arts college or public comprehensive.  I usually enjoy discussion-based classes more (although don't be fooled - those can bomb too.  Sometimes the students don't understand the discussion or they don't feel like talking).

 

One thing I have learned, though, is not to try to put TOO much thought or planning into the lecture/class.  At some point things have to flow organically.  I've been surprised to find that some of the lectures I thought were the least well-put-together were actually received well by the students, but I think it's because I talked more extemporaneously/from my own experience, and they tend to like that.

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