Has the first-year exhaustion set in yet?

[NavyMom]

I am starting to look more and more like I am ready to dress up for Halloween... as a zombie.  The dark circles under my eyes state that I don't really need much makeup...

 

I am also starting to rely heavily on caffeine and 5 hour energies.

[geographyrocks]

One word: yes.

 

Edit:  I've never been so thankful for a fall break which is only two days, but right now it looks like the holy grail of time off!

Edited October 7, 2014 by geographyrocks

[S_Colorado]

I've definitely hit a bit of a slump after midterms and my family visiting. I'm hoping I can turn it around with lots of tea and sleep.

[Threeboysmom]

One word: yes.

 

Edit:  I've never been so thankful for a fall break which is only two days, but right now it looks like the holy grail of time off!

I wish I had a fall break. I will get a small break for the Thanksgiving holiday, but until then it's more of the same. Stay up all night reading and writing, get up extra early for more reading and writing.

[Realities]

I hit a point of intense exhaustion this past weekend, where after being hyper-productive on Friday, I couldn't do much of anything until Tuesday.  I haven't experienced this on a day-to-day basis though, so it may just be a matter of pacing myself and avoiding burnout.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to avoid this exhaustion/burnout when there's just so much that needs to be done? I'm on 8 projects (3 that I'm leading) on top of coursework and everything, so I'm having trouble forcing myself not to work all weekend when I have the energy.

[bsharpe269]

I'm in the second year of my MS and still haven't figured out the pacing thing. Right now I'm juggling 3 classes, 30 hours a week for research assistantship and am applying for The NSF grant and to 10 phd programs. I'm pretty much drowning in work and feel behind no matter how much I do. I haven't personally figured out a burn out pattern because it seems like sometimes I can work nonstop for weeks with no problem and other times I burn out really fast. I just try to sleep 6-7 hours a night and then take full advantage of those super productive moods that you described. If others have advice then if be interested in it too!

[maelia8]

I have developed pretty intense hyperactivity and insomnia - I can't seem to fall asleep before 2am even if I'm done with my work for the day, so I usually just keep on working because as long as I'm feeling chipper, why not? I'm sure that I'm going to crash and burn eventually, but it hasn't hit me yet. I often do dance workouts or yoga in the middle of the night in order to tire myself out. Let's see how long this lasts ...

[katiegud]

I stupidly thought I would give up diet coke - my only source of caffeine. Yesterday the only thing I did was go to Staples to buy a white board, then I slept all day. Today I have a splitting headache, but at least I made it to the university! This is probably not the best time to be messing with my caffeine intake!

[surefire]

If others have advice then if be interested in it too!

 

3rd-year PhD here! There's LOTS of great advice on the forum, but here are some quick points that I wish someone had told me in my first year:

 

(1.) Lots of good advice on this list, pick a couple items out (especially the ones about forming good habits) and commit to trying them: http://scholarshape.com/blog/2014/3/18/101-tips-for-finishing-your-phd-quickly

 

(2.) Try to get social like, once a week. While out, especially with other grad students, talk out your projects a bit (but talk about other stuff too!). You'll be amazed at how often things "click" while you're talking them out. The majority of my academic epiphanies happen when I give my eyes/brain some space from my desk, either (a.) while I'm being social (b.) when I'm in the shower (c.) when I'm at the gym.

 

(3.) Go to the gym! Or join a rec league or something. Just, move! Don't let your social skills OR your muscles atrophy!

 

(4.) Identify the time of day when you're most productive and schedule the harder/higher priority tasks for that time period.

 

(5.) Related to number 4 (and what some have said about trying to predict burn-out): know the difference between pushing through a rough patch and straight-up PUNISHING yourself. There's something in the academic culture that makes grad students think that, if they're not actively producing while working, they should at least be sitting at their desk SUFFERING and feeling bad about it - don't do that! Don't sit staring at a blank document for hours. There's a distinction between "this task sucks and I don't want to do it but there's a deadline" (pushing through a rough patch) and the paralyzing "I don't know how to proceed" (and then punishing). If you're experiencing the latter, step away, do something else for a bit, consult some resources (asking a supervisor or colleagues, advice from good websites on how to do specific stuff (The Professor Is In; Get a Life, PhD; Explorations of style - some of my faves), seminars/workshops offered by your SGS), then come back to the task and do something different in your approach as informed by your advice-seeking (can't make sense of a piece you're writing? print it out! for example).

 

(6.) Said in the above but worthy of its own point - ask for help! It was a turning point for me last year when I discovered some of the workshop series that my institution offers (like, a prof wanted me to do some research with software that I had no idea how to use, so I went to a three-hour workshop on it, this is vastly preferred to spending a full day or so figuring it out on my own). You are not the first on the planet to struggle with some of this stuff (especially the things that you THINK you should know how to do, like time management or public speaking) so why not benefit from those that came before you and glean the strategies that they've developed to tackle stuff! You are surrounded by smart people, utilize them! You PAY for some of the institutional structures that exist at your university via your tuition (EVEN when you have funding/get remissions) so USE them! Does your Uni have a writing centre? USE IT! Seminars on "how to be a more efficient TA"? GO TO THOSE.

 

(7.) NAP. Oh man, power naps! The ultimate brain re-set! I myself have come to embrace the "caffeine nap" once or twice a week - that is, I down a coffee or tea, nap for 20 minutes (the amount of time the caffeine needs to get in my system) and then get up totally re-energized and feeling sharp!

 

(8.) Find some organizational apps that work for you and use them. I like Zotero for citations and I'm a recent convert to Workflowy (thanks to fuzzylogician).

 

(9.) Do a little something that gives you an appreciation/understanding of your departmental/discipline culture. I know that you don't think you have time to go to speaker series or job talks or some kind of service association meetings, but these will give you a great sense of what is prioritized in your area, who the big-wigs are, what's in store for you and on and on. Again, this is more efficient than just trying to absorb these intangibles by reading journals in your area.

 

(10.) Teach others how to do stuff. This will enforce it in your own brain and aid the collegiality generally. Nothing irritates me more than people who TAKE other people's advice or drafts of grant applications or information about interesting conferences but they don't reciprocate and foster this "well, more for me" mindset. Appreciate the successes of your colleagues, rather than coveting. Learn to collaborate and share and be helpful. Look out for yourself, for sure, but don't undermine others and, as in life, follow the Wil Wheaton maxim: "Don't be a dick".

 

Suerte!

[Vene]

(8.) Find some organizational apps that work for you and use them. I like Zotero for citations and I'm a recent convert to Workflowy (thanks to fuzzylogician).

Speaking of citation managers, my university gives me a license for EndNote (which is phenomenal when I cite journal articles), but it kind of sucks when I have references to textbooks or patents. Is Zotero able to handle those effectively?

[TMP]

If your'e in your first year or two, these feelings are absolutely normal!  It'll take a while to figure yourself out- just be patient.  Workable strategies will come in time.  Your professors have likely figured out their own strategies- which is why they don't look as bad as we do.

 

Be sure to stay aware of your mental health and general attitude to graduate school.  It's helpful to talk to other grad students but if you find that you just don't click, no matter how much you try, it may be that your issues are deeper and that's where counseling will help (they should have grad group therapy).

 

Remember, give yourself a break.  Grad school is your time where you can have endless moments of doing trial and error, making mistales, and falling flat on your face.

[zigzag]

If your'e in your first year or two, these feelings are absolutely normal!  It'll take a while to figure yourself out- just be patient.  Workable strategies will come in time.  Your professors have likely figured out their own strategies- which is why they don't look as bad as we do.

 

Be sure to stay aware of your mental health and general attitude to graduate school.  It's helpful to talk to other grad students but if you find that you just don't click, no matter how much you try, it may be that your issues are deeper and that's where counseling will help (they should have grad group therapy).

 

Remember, give yourself a break.  Grad school is your time where you can have endless moments of doing trial and error, making mistales, and falling flat on your face.

 

I think the biggest problem I have re: 1st year exhaustion is that some of it is due to mental health. I have inattentive ADHD and while I can still do well in school/classes, it's a lot more effort. My new university had about a million hoops for me just to even talk to someone about my medication, and it all ended in them basically saying it was next to impossible to get my prescriptions renewed unless I had extensive testing only done by an ADHD specialist (instead of say, my home physician who has known me for years). I understand that people are prone to abuse adderall/ritalin but I was deeply frustrated. They also made it next to impossible to renew an another medication which cannot be stopped cold, but is thankfully not regulated in the same way so I had to call up my home doctor for a renewal.

 

Basically I started off my semester strongly, with a regulated sleeping pattern, energized in the mornings and sleepy at night, and focused, and then...well, not so much because I'm running low on meds. I was actually more likely to do all the recommended things - take breaks, exercise, nap, participate in the department - before. I'm trying to supplement myself with coffee, but that doesn't help the ADHD, just the exhaustion. I'm currently trying to get in contact with a doctor out of town for my meds but (and you can laugh) I've either completely forgotten, misplaced the phone number, or called and been given a "please call back monday" message so far. 

 

I'm great at being organized, I just have this annoying roadblock in my way making me slump out. 

Edited October 12, 2014 by zigzag

[bsharpe269]

I think the biggest problem I have re: 1st year exhaustion is that some of it is due to mental health. I have inattentive ADHD and while I can still do well in school/classes, it's a lot more effort. My new university had about a million hoops for me just to even talk to someone about my medication, and it all ended in them basically saying it was next to impossible to get my prescriptions renewed unless I had extensive testing only done by an ADHD specialist (instead of say, my home physician who has known me for years). I understand that people are prone to abuse adderall/ritalin but I was deeply frustrated. They also made it next to impossible to renew an another medication which cannot be stopped cold, but is thankfully not regulated in the same way so I had to call up my home doctor for a renewal.

 

Basically I started off my semester strongly, with a regulated sleeping pattern, energized in the mornings and sleepy at night, and focused, and then...well, not so much because I'm running low on meds. I was actually more likely to do all the recommended things - take breaks, exercise, nap, participate in the department - before. I'm trying to supplement myself with coffee, but that doesn't help the ADHD, just the exhaustion. I'm currently trying to get in contact with a doctor out of town for my meds but (and you can laugh) I've either completely forgotten, misplaced the phone number, or called and been given a "please call back monday" message so far. 

 

I'm great at being organized, I just have this annoying roadblock in my way making me slump out. 

 

Wow Im sorry! I have ADHD and understand how frustrating this would be. It is pretty much impossible for me to get school work done without my meds, even if I am doing everything in my power to help the ADHD like working out, sleeping well, etc. It is so frustrating! Can you old doctor maybe phone a month or two worth of your medication to a nearby pharmacy to last you until you figure out a way to get it at your new location? Or another idea, would the school be willing to prescribe you something that is less likely to abused for now while you sort this out? It might not help as much as your current medicine but it might at least enable you to somewhat keep up.

[zigzag]

Wow Im sorry! I have ADHD and understand how frustrating this would be. It is pretty much impossible for me to get school work done without my meds, even if I am doing everything in my power to help the ADHD like working out, sleeping well, etc. It is so frustrating! Can you old doctor maybe phone a month or two worth of your medication to a nearby pharmacy to last you until you figure out a way to get it at your new location? Or another idea, would the school be willing to prescribe you something that is less likely to abused for now while you sort this out? It might not help as much as your current medicine but it might at least enable you to somewhat keep up.

 

You can't phone in adderall prescriptions because it's a [federally] regulated substance. All scripts have to be hand written by a physician and delivered in person. If I was close to home, I'd make the trip -- but I'm across the country, and need a new prescribing doctor. I expected this to be a little difficult given the medication, but it was way more complicated than I prepared for. Unfortunately, the health center here divides health issues into two separate buildings. For most issues, you have a doctor at the general health center. But for this, you have to go to the school therapy/wellness center. 

 

To recap what went down: Week 1 of orientation I made a health center appt for the 2nd week. Week 2 I was told I had to go to the psych center. I go, and they tell me they can't take me for two weeks. I stressed I would be running out of medications but basically the final word was unless I was threatening suicide, I had to wait two weeks to get evaluated to see if I even needed medications already prescribed to me, at all. (The non-psychological meds I take, of course, were immediately filled! Who'd've thunk?) I wait two weeks, and they have me meet with a psychologist as opposed to a psychiatrist who can prescribe medications. The psych explained that A.) i needed a diagnoses from a local professional for ADHD and something that might take months of testing and that B.) the only psych who could prescribe anything was constantly busy and often took weeks to get a chance to meet with. Even if I only wanted my anxiety medication renewed, it was going to take weeks. 

 

Basically getting anything prescribed by the school for mental health issues is next to impossible. I doubt they'd give me anything else, and have no way of contacting the people who do write scripts here. 

 

I haven't totally run out of adderall but I did run out of my SSRI I take for anxiety and that my home doctor was able to call in. I then emailed back the Psychological health center and explained to them how detrimental it was that they didn't take my health requests seriously from the beginning. You can't stop an SSRI cold turkey without getting very very ill. Any medical professional knows this. I now have zero interest in the school's therapy options -- they seem awfully helpful until you actually have a problem which needs something more than deep breathing and meditation. 

 

In the meantime I have nearby family in the medical field and cousins who also have ADHD, so I'm calling their doctor. I've been trying to get a hold of them for about a week but have either forgotten to call, called during lunch or after hours, or called when no one was able to pick up. 

 

Unexpectedly this has been my biggest complaint about my school, and there's not really anyone you can complain to when the therapy center is your problem. Hah. 

Edited October 12, 2014 by zigzag

[TMP]

That's my point above  I struggled a lot to stay energized and focus while depression/anxiety/PTSD took over my body and mind- the symptoms took almost all of my first two years (yes, I even stopped posting on GradCafe for some time because I lost so much interest).  I crashed at the end of my first year and it took another year of recovery/therapy for me to get back on track.  So... much exhaustion.  I literally could not read.

 

I hope that things really work out for you, zigzag.  The health care can be frustrating and stressful when you're away from your regular doctors.  While I was still on my mom's insurance, I realized that the locale that I am in would just not work in terms of getting regular care and I would have to cave in for student health insurance just to have access a therapist and a psychiatrist on campus.  The two have been so wonderful that it's been worth paying for student health insurance.

 

Hopefully you've let your adviser or, at least a trusted faculty member, know in case you get in really big trouble with your meds and you're going to be out of whack.

[geographyrocks]

That's my point above  I struggled a lot to stay energized and focus while depression/anxiety/PTSD took over my body and mind- the symptoms took almost all of my first two years (yes, I even stopped posting on GradCafe for some time because I lost so much interest).  I crashed at the end of my first year and it took another year of recovery/therapy for me to get back on track.  So... much exhaustion.  I literally could not read.

 

I hope that things really work out for you, zigzag.  The health care can be frustrating and stressful when you're away from your regular doctors.  While I was still on my mom's insurance, I realized that the locale that I am in would just not work in terms of getting regular care and I would have to cave in for student health insurance just to have access a therapist and a psychiatrist on campus.  The two have been so wonderful that it's been worth paying for student health insurance.

 

Hopefully you've let your adviser or, at least a trusted faculty member, know in case you get in really big trouble with your meds and you're going to be out of whack.

I was wondering the other day if there was anyone else on gradcafe that has dealt with PTSD and grad school.  Mine is lifelong trauma rather than one isolated incident (I'm not sure if that even makes a difference when talking about PTSD), and I have serious problems staying focused, socializing, and sleeping.  The stress during my last year of undergrad was SO bad that I've actually developed physical symptoms such as new, fun food intolerances and random rashes.  I'm doing the therapy thing (no meds) and trying stress reduction and relaxation techniques, but it is still a constant struggle.  What helped you the most?

[zigzag]

That's my point above  I struggled a lot to stay energized and focus while depression/anxiety/PTSD took over my body and mind- the symptoms took almost all of my first two years (yes, I even stopped posting on GradCafe for some time because I lost so much interest).  I crashed at the end of my first year and it took another year of recovery/therapy for me to get back on track.  So... much exhaustion.  I literally could not read.

 

I hope that things really work out for you, zigzag.  The health care can be frustrating and stressful when you're away from your regular doctors.  While I was still on my mom's insurance, I realized that the locale that I am in would just not work in terms of getting regular care and I would have to cave in for student health insurance just to have access a therapist and a psychiatrist on campus.  The two have been so wonderful that it's been worth paying for student health insurance.

 

Hopefully you've let your adviser or, at least a trusted faculty member, know in case you get in really big trouble with your meds and you're going to be out of whack.

 

Well unfortunately my problem was first that the *University*'s healthcare was unhelpfu under their insurancel, and then further that the local region's doctors were ALSO complicated -- wanting me to have had weeks of therapy before we even discussed medications whatsoever. I'm actually going to go out of state to meet with a doctor rec'd through family. :/ I haven't told my advisor, and frankly, I'm not sure how to? I didn't really feel weird about any of this until it suddenly became a massive issue. Now I'm very concerned that being neuro-atypical really will attract negative stigma in graduate school. (e.g. the adhd/anxiety/depression). I like my advisor a lot and they definitely seem like the type to handle personal issues well, but I feel weird now, even though I didn't before. And given the way I was treated and brushed off even on the non-regulated meds I take and really only warned repeatedly that only being suicidal was a real immediate issue, I'm not too keen to return to the student mental health center....ever. 

 

Logically I know it's not me making excuses, but it still feels like it. 

Edited October 14, 2014 by zigzag

[Nerd_For_Life]

I was wondering the other day if there was anyone else on gradcafe that has dealt with PTSD and grad school.  Mine is lifelong trauma rather than one isolated incident (I'm not sure if that even makes a difference when talking about PTSD), and I have serious problems staying focused, socializing, and sleeping.  The stress during my last year of undergrad was SO bad that I've actually developed physical symptoms such as new, fun food intolerances and random rashes.  I'm doing the therapy thing (no meds) and trying stress reduction and relaxation techniques, but it is still a constant struggle.  What helped you the most?

Me. Mine results from a series of events, each compounding the one before. I was undiagnosed for 5 years, when things finally culminated in psychosomatic pain. I saw a counsellor for a brief period of time which got things to a manageable level for a couple years. Then I began grad school. During my MA my mental health took a nose-dive as a result of taking on way to much and not having the necessary skills or support system to manage everything. First year of my PhD at a new university I found out I now have amazing health coverage and, after things again escalating to the level of psychosomatic physical symptoms, I began looking around for an appropriate psychologist. I found one and we have done amazing work together. I went every week for about eight months and now she is on mat leave for a while. Honestly, during that time I have never had a more positive post-secondary experience. It was like night and day. Right now while she is on leave I'm finding myself in a much better position than I was in before I started seeing her. At the same time, while I am managing decently well on my own, I know I still have more work to do so I'm looking forward to starting my appointments back up in the Spring.

 

In answer to your question, what helped me most was having someone to talk to who could relate to the grad school experience and hone in on both what I needed long term and what I needed that week. Also, she assigned me homework and told me to treat it like a medical prescription: to take time out for myself for at least one hour every day, to schedule it, and to stick to it. During that time I was to do my absolute best not to feel guilty for not working on school work and to do something that I enjoyed (be it reading fiction, watching TV, hanging out with my cats, etc.). 

 

I recognize that having amazing medical coverage is a HUGE privilege and that many grad students do not have that luxury (I certainly didn't for a long time), but if the university you are attending offers free or subsidized professional care (really crucial that the person is trained and experienced in helping with PTSD), or if you have health coverage, it can make an amazing difference.