Is this SOP paragraph flow okay ? Am I doing anything wrong ?

[ahmadka]

Hi guys .. So I'm applying for the MS in Computer Science program, and I wanted to know if the points I'm discussing in my SOP are okay. I'd also like to know if there's something I'm leaving out, or something which I'm discussing which is not needed. The length currently comes down to exactly two pages, while using default parameters in Word.

 

Please note that I already have a previous Masters in Electrical & Computer Engineering, so I have to discuss why I feel that I need to do a second Masters now, this time in CS. My bachelors was in Computer Engineering.

 

 

Paragraph 1: How my interest in computers developed as a child, and what skills I had developed in the area as a teenager.

 

Paragraph 2: How I got interested in Machine Learning and Artificial Intelligence during my Computer Engineering Bachelors program. Also discussed my Undergraduate Research project which involved Computer Vision (object detection and tracking via an FPGA).

 

Paragraph 3: Reasons for doing a second Masters. How I was misguided into studying Elec. & Computer Engineering for my previous Bachelors and Masters, and how I realized that's its not what I was really passionate about.

 

Paragraph 4: How my current academic profile is not inline with my professional goals, and how a Masters in CS resolves this issue, and prepares me for the IT industry.

 

Paragraph 5: What areas I'd like to study within CS, and why. Their importance in the technological world today.

 

Paragraph 6: Why I'm applying to XYZ university.

 

Paragraph 7: Concluding paragraph.

 

If anyone wants to see my SOP, I can give them access if they have been a member on the forum here for a while. Please PM me in this case.

[eragon]

Keep Times new roman Font: 12.  Line spacing 1 or 1.5.  Make sure it doesn't go over two pages. Better to keep it around 1.5 pages or so. If possible talk a little bit about your extracurricular/positions/awards to show you are a well rounded person.

 

I would suggest you not to write that you are misguided in doing both bachelors and masters. Instead you can try to say how your focus shifted gradually from ECE to CS through your projects/ courses/ job. Try to use your bachelors and Masters degree projects/courses/research to your advantage.

 

If you can get a general theme of your area of interest throughout you SOP (You interest in CS or specific area in CS), it will look good.

 

Also look into the Univs research labs which interests you and try to incorporate it if possible.

 

Otherwise yours look good to me.

[lzs]

Adcoms are tired of hearing about applicants' childhood interest in their field. It's so long ago that it usually doesn't tell them anything useful.

[ahmadka]

Adcoms are tired of hearing about applicants' childhood interest in their field. It's so long ago that it usually doesn't tell them anything useful.

 

I guess you might be right, but I felt it was needed to sort of elaborate on my true interests. It explains why I studied the CompE program for my bachelors, and also helps explain my reasons for needing another Masters degree in retrospective. Plus, it serves well as an intro too.

[Elizabeth Reed]

I guess you might be right, but I felt it was needed to sort of elaborate on my true interests. It explains why I studied the CompE program for my bachelors, and also helps explain my reasons for needing another Masters degree in retrospective. Plus, it serves well as an intro too.

 

 

I think it's fine to include a brief explanation of how your interest developed, as long as that part is concise and well-integrated with the rest of your statement. I'd imagine that what adcoms are tired of hearing is something like, e.g., "When I was a child, I was obsessed with my dinosaur toys. I would spend hours creating prehistoric dioramas and only wanted dinosaur coloring books. Now, I can't wait to continue learning about my lifelong passion as a graduate student in paleontology." That seems like the sort of opening likely to induce a lot of eye-rolling -- it's generic, smacks of cutesy-ness, and is apropos of nothing. Even if it doesn't annoy the reader, this type of intro is surely not going to help the applicant's chances (can you imagine a committee choosing between two qualified applicants and saying, "well, John Doe here did spend hours creating prehistoric dioramas as a young child; clearly, that gives him the edge over Joe Schmo, who probably spent his childhood playing with toy cars!" 

 

Basically, I'd stay away from things like, "for as long as I can remember, I have always loved computers." A better angle, I think, would be discussing how your natural aptitude and affinity for computers led you to invest substantial time developing x, y, and z skills as a teenager, which you continued to build on as an undergrad. After a detour that gave you valuable experience and also helped you determine that your greatest interest lies in this-and-that area of CS (I agree with eragon's comment above about focusing on what you gained from the time spent detouring, rather than framing it as a waste of time), you are eager to apply the skills and knowledge you have already acquired and to challenge yourself intellectually by deepening your understanding of these-and-those relevant topics. Obviously, the specifics here depend on what you're actually discussing and how people in CS talk about their field (I have no idea!) 

 

Good luck!

[ssynny]

Is there a right and wrong way to structure the SOP? I'm structuring mine like this:

 

1) Anecdote about my most recent field season where it became clear what I wanted to study

2) What I want to study/with who/why the school

3) My previous experience that shows I know I like this and that my learning curve won't be as steep

4) What my future goals are and how the school will help me achieve them

 

There are a couple paragraphs in some of the categories.

 

Should I be structuring it differently?

[Elizabeth Reed]

Is there a right and wrong way to structure the SOP? 

 

My thinking is that an SOP has the "right" structure if it has a logical progression and good transitions and, conversely, has the "wrong" structure if it leaps around willy-nilly, has jarring transitions from one topic to the next, or confuses the reader (e.g., talks about Y, which only makes sense given the context provided by X, before talking about X).

 

Your structure is different from my approach, but the order you describe seems perfectly sensible to me....I can definitely see how the sections you list could be presented in a way that's logical and flows smoothly for the reader. Seems to me that's all that matters (aside from content, of course!!). This is my first try for PhD applications, though, so I'm no expert....

[ssynny]

My thinking is that an SOP has the "right" structure if it has a logical progression and good transitions and, conversely, has the "wrong" structure if it leaps around willy-nilly, has jarring transitions from one topic to the next, or confuses the reader (e.g., talks about Y, which only makes sense given the context provided by X, before talking about X).

 

Your structure is different from my approach, but the order you describe seems perfectly sensible to me....I can definitely see how the sections you list could be presented in a way that's logical and flows smoothly for the reader. Seems to me that's all that matters (aside from content, of course!!). This is my first try for PhD applications, though, so I'm no expert....

 

Ok! Thanks!

[Crucial BBQ]

I guess you might be right, but I felt it was needed to sort of elaborate on my true interests. It explains why I studied the CompE program for my bachelors, and also helps explain my reasons for needing another Masters degree in retrospective. Plus, it serves well as an intro too.

Everyone feels that it is needed, that is why it is cliche and should be avoided.   If you feel that this information is absolutely critical to your SOP, then include deeper in the SOP, such as in Paragraph 3.  

 

To be frank it really does not matter where or when your desire stemmed, only that you have that desire now.  No one gets brownie points for having the longest standing interests in Subject X. 

[zind]

Is there a right and wrong way to structure the SOP? I'm structuring mine like this:

 

1) Anecdote about my most recent field season where it became clear what I wanted to study

2) What I want to study/with who/why the school

3) My previous experience that shows I know I like this and that my learning curve won't be as steep

4) What my future goals are and how the school will help me achieve them

 

There are a couple paragraphs in some of the categories.

 

Should I be structuring it differently?

Hey, I am currently in a competitive PhD program (30/600 apps) and the SoP I wrote to get in had a similar structure, so I'd say that works? 

I would end with another paragraph about why this school is the bestest fit for me and how I am a good fit for them. Leave it at a point where they want to get to know you more.