Intense Personality

[pianocognition]

One of my friends who is not in academia says that I have an intense personality. I am a perfectionist and driven but I am also very empathetic. I'm fairly introverted and a very deep thinker. According to this website, I would be classified as intense. http://lonerwolf.com/intense-person/

 

However, my friends in academia said I am not intense when I asked their opinions. They think I am driven academically but my personality is not intense. I tend to be calming personality in conflict.

 

Do you think it is important to be "intense" in order to succeed in academia? I've had very relaxed professors and very intense professors. My favorite ones have been the ones that are intense in their work ethics but relaxed in their interactions with colleagues and students. 

 

What are your thoughts?

[ERR_Alpha]

I only match a few of those- I wouldn't call myself an intense person by any means. But I feel like any onlooker into the world of academia thinks we're intense because likely, our studies are literally all we talk about. My boyfriend can't stand being around my grad school friends because we talk about lab all of the time. That kind of passion for the field is what motivates people to go to school in the first place.

I've met people with personalities all over the board in terms of introvert/extrovert, shy/outgoing, funny/serious, etc. Although I would say academia may favor introverts, I believe any combination can be successful coupled with that intense passion for the field.

[snyegurachka]

I think this list is just describing symptoms of borderline personality disorder. You don't need to be "intense" to succeed in academia. Just driven, creative, and able to hone and develop your skills so that you can contribute to the discourse of your field and be an effective teacher at the university level.

Edited January 14, 2015 by snyegurachka

[TakeruK]

I don't think you need to be intense and you do not need to have the traits on that list in order to succeed in academia. I don't think I am intense, and I think I am successful I see very many professors that are very successful and would not be considered "intense". 

[pianocognition]

Thanks! Your replies are more along the ideas that I have. I think it's essential to be passionate about your research in academia in order to avoid burn out. I think many different personalities can succeed in academia.

Yeah, I thought the list on the website was a little odd too.

[dr. t]

Self-diagnosis via the web is rarely a useful activity.

[pianocognition]

^very true. It's also less accurate than the DSM . (I'm a counseling major)

[drownsoda]

Like others have said, I'm not sure it's "intensity" that gets you anywhere. It's just a matter of drive. Where there's a will, there's a way, sort of thing. I try to avoid doing the self-diagnosis stuff on the net too because it frankly just confuses me even more.

 

I don't think intensity and being an introvert/extrovert are related either.  I've considered myself an introvert my entire life; I spend 80% of my free time alone (willingly), I tend to be pretty quiet, and I get caught up in my own head all the time like you do. The weird thing though is that a lot of people have taken me to be an extrovert.

 

I mean, if I feel comfortable, I'll open up easily, but I'm not particularly loud or outgoing or brassy. Still, I've had classmates and friends be like, "You are not an introvert," but I truly feel like I am one. Like, for example, I had an internship educating elementary classrooms on the environment one time through my school, and the girl I was paired to teach with was super reserved and not comfortable speaking in front of the kids and their teachers, which forced me to be the one to take the lead. She told me at the end of that internship that I was a "godsend" for her because I was able to be "loud," talk with the kids, not be nervous— I was "completely extroverted, and [she was] an introvert." And I was like, "WHAT? I'm an introvert too!" Just because I can talk with people and be social doesn't mean I'm not introverted!

[LittleDarlings]

I don't think.you have to be intense, I'm not intense at all and I'm doing just fine in school just saying

[dr. t]

This article may or may not be relevant: http://www.fastcompany.com/3034895/strong-female-lead/the-one-word-men-never-see-in-their-performance-reviews

Edited January 16, 2015 by telkanuru

[ERR_Alpha]

This article may or may not be relevant: http://www.fastcompany.com/3034895/strong-female-lead/the-one-word-men-never-see-in-their-performance-reviews

I've been called abrasive so many times I've lost count... My male boss when I was an RA would always tell me I had to watch my tone of voice and that I frequently came off negatively. I've stopped caring. I really paid attention to how departments treated their female graduate students and profs. No women in high positions is usually a bad sign.

[pianocognition]

Ah, yes. This was the actual thought behind my original post. We have a new female department head at my college who is brilliant! Because she is harsh in her dealings with both students and other professors, as well as grading, students do not like her. Her personality seems more extreme than it really is because she is the only female full-time professor, never mind department head, in a very conservative college. People, myself included, tend to erroneously assume that female professors will be more nurturing.

 

I keep thinking that I want to be brilliant like her but I would rather not harm people in the process. Then, I start to wonder if it's a gender issue more than just a personality trait: a male personality wouldn't create as much tension because of the gender stereotypes. My research tends to be assertive because I am passionate and driven but my personality as a whole is not overly assertive. People think I am brave because I do hard things with confidence but I would not say that I feel brave inside. I'm working to be more assertive in my personality without being aggressive. It's a confusing line sometimes. I am one of the only women I know who is going into higher education or a position of higher authority so it's something I have been thinking through (in between stressing about application results). 

[LilithWntDwn2TN]

I've been called abrasive so many times I've lost count... My male boss when I was an RA would always tell me I had to watch my tone of voice and that I frequently came off negatively. I've stopped caring. I really paid attention to how departments treated their female graduate students and profs. No women in high positions is usually a bad sign.

I angst over this. On one hand, I'm passionate, assertive, and outspoken. So, "naturally," I worry about being thought of as abrasive, bossy, or *gasp* bitchy. Really. I do want to respect other people's differing opinions and not squash someone else's thunder. And I do know some women in my department who have grown such a thick shell that they are insensitive and frankly rude to other people. On the other had, these qualities are part of my personality and who I am. It's hard to separate when I'm being "too much" from when sexist or just overly competitive onlookers are just trying to "dull my shine." I feel like all my professional interactions are like a balancing act, and it's making me neurotic. 

[St Andrews Lynx]

"Intense" is a very gendered adjective: in the context of academia, I've only heard it used towards woman. 

 

I think it means "A women with strong, alpha characteristics more usually found in men." 

Unlike "nice" I think it usually meant (and interpreted) as a compliment. The corresponding insults would be "bitch", "domineering" or "ball-breaker".

[eeee1923]

I've been called "intense" - which doesn't bother me too much since its who I've always been. I've been successful in my graduate pursuits thus far but I know plenty of "chill" individuals that have gone on and been quite successful in academia. Everyone has different strengths but your research ability and dedication to improve it are really the most important skills you'll need to be successful in graduate studies. 

[FoggyAnhinga]

I used to be VERY intense during my master's since I was pretty much hell-bent on completing my degree within a limited time-span, even though many students in my department spend as much as 3.5 years on master's (I worked out my timeline backwards and I was astonished at how much work I will have to accomplish within a few weeks or even within a month to accomplish this goal). I did finish the degree as scheduled (after countless sleepless nights), and was personally proud of my accomplishments (I also established some solid connections with other prominent faculty and colleagues).

 

However, that intense personality kind of killed my social life during those two years (my social life during then could be graded no higher than C-, if you can say that haha). I wasn't rude or gruff with other fellow grad students, but I turned down a lot of invitations for social events, couldn't attend my friends' post-defense celebrations, had to bail out of parties, etc (yep, it's horrible). Looking back I still could have completed my work on time while maintaining a chiller attitude. I guess I regret my intense personality, though fortunately since then I have learned to turn down a notch or two. 

[t1racyjacks]

"Intense" is a very gendered adjective: in the context of academia, I've only heard it used towards woman. 

 

I think it means "A women with strong, alpha characteristics more usually found in men." 

Unlike "nice" I think it usually meant (and interpreted) as a compliment. The corresponding insults would be "bitch", "domineering" or "ball-breaker".

WORD. I was even told I had been (I quote) 'educated out of being a woman'

[ERR_Alpha]

WORD. I was even told I had been (I quote) 'educated out of being a woman'

Wow, I would punch whoever said that right in the face. I can be feminine AND educated, life isn't zero sum. *eyeroll*

Edited February 5, 2015 by ERR_Alpha

[Vene]

WORD. I was even told I had been (I quote) 'educated out of being a woman'

I'm a little impressed by that one. Mostly by how terrible and nasty that is.