MidwesternAloha Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 6 to 8 years just seems so long, lol. Finally started adjusting to married life and now we will be living separately. If all goes well, I will be at a school 2-3 hours away and we could easily see each other every weekend. Any tips? Seasoned veterans? Friends in the same boat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tspier2 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 6 to 8 years just seems so long, lol. Finally started adjusting to married life and now we will be living separately. If all goes well, I will be at a school 2-3 hours away and we could easily see each other every weekend. Any tips? Seasoned veterans? Friends in the same boat? My relationship ended when I came down here; she couldn't tolerate the distance, I suppose. Why would you willingly live separately? Wouldn't the obvious choice be to find a place in between, so that you each have the same long, but still tolerable, commute? CFBrown and hyronomus4 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidwesternAloha Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 (edited) Well, we've been planning my opportunity to go to graduate school since we got married a few years ago. He is in the military, so we already live the maximum radius from the base, with the hope that I'd get into that "close" school. He directed his military career path that would accommodate stability on his end while I pursued school. Edited January 28, 2015 by MidwesternAloha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
busybeinganxious Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 My husband and I did the long distance thing for just over two years before we were married...ours was an international romance. We were about 4,000 miles apart and got to see each other in person about every 5 months. It sucked. A lot. But he was worth the wait, and I wouldn't take any of the horrible, lonely, crappy parts back because we've been married for almost 8 years and neither of us have ever been happier. Tips: 1. Skype, or Google hang-out, or any other form of video chat is your friend, it's a way of feeling like they're there, even if they aren't. 2. Make plans to see each other as often as possible, and then keep them. 3. Rotate visits so no one feels like they're doing all the work. 4. You both need distractions, hobbies, or what have you. Just sitting and pining after each other won't do either of you any good. 5. Communicate, communicate, communicate. He won't be able to read non-verbal cues from 2 hours away and vice versa. You both have to be able to open your mouths and gripe when something is bugging you. Good luck to you! Ari_OP and mandarin.orange 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidwesternAloha Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 My husband and I did the long distance thing for just over two years before we were married...ours was an international romance. We were about 4,000 miles apart and got to see each other in person about every 5 months. It sucked. A lot. But he was worth the wait, and I wouldn't take any of the horrible, lonely, crappy parts back because we've been married for almost 8 years and neither of us have ever been happier. Tips: 1. Skype, or Google hang-out, or any other form of video chat is your friend, it's a way of feeling like they're there, even if they aren't. 2. Make plans to see each other as often as possible, and then keep them. 3. Rotate visits so no one feels like they're doing all the work. 4. You both need distractions, hobbies, or what have you. Just sitting and pining after each other won't do either of you any good. 5. Communicate, communicate, communicate. He won't be able to read non-verbal cues from 2 hours away and vice versa. You both have to be able to open your mouths and gripe when something is bugging you. Good luck to you! I appreciate that!!! Especially #3 and #5!! Stuff I didn't think of. Glad to hear you are still doing well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CactusWoman Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I know a couple who's been doing for... I think a few years so far? They're both in PhD programs across the world from each other. They manage to visit each other on a semi-frequent basis and they're still together so I guess it is possible! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amayan Posted February 21, 2015 Share Posted February 21, 2015 I think trying to do right by both of your own dreams and aspirations will create the possibility for a happier relationship than the festering guilt or anger that one of you gave up on their own opportunities. If you didn't live apart, it seems like someone would really be getting the short end of the stick compared to the other. I know driving on your cellphone is dangerous, but my sister has bluetooth in her car that she really loves on long commutes. Instead of a 5 hour drive of silence or radio, she usually spends some time talking to the person she's heading towards about how close she is and how excited she is to see them. Also, maybe ventrilo? When my husband and I lived apart in high school we met for quests together on World of Warcraft. I didn't get to "see" him, but it felt fun like a "date"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepinkdragon76 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 (edited) Thanks for this thread since we are now in this boat. I'm not exactly excited about our 18+ month geo separation to get Masters degrees simultaneously but hopefully all goes as planned and we will be happier than ever afterward. (Like MidwesternAloha, my husband is Military too and he is being sent to grad school in CA while I'm waiting for my decision here in KS) Edited February 28, 2015 by thepinkdragon76 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now