Dating non-graduate students

[wildviolet]

I find this to be sickeningly elitist and snobbish. 

 

Well, I think it depends on the way you look at it. Yes, that's one way to look at it. Another way to look at it is that intellectual stimulation is necessary for some people. Half (or perhaps more than half) the faculty I know in my department also have faculty members as spouses. I think it's more personal preference than it is a general prescription for PhD students.

[Vene]

Well, I think it depends on the way you look at it. Yes, that's one way to look at it. Another way to look at it is that intellectual stimulation is necessary for some people. Half (or perhaps more than half) the faculty I know in my department also have faculty members as spouses. I think it's more personal preference than it is a general prescription for PhD students.

I definitely agree that intellectual stimulation is necessary, but a graduate degree isn't the only way to go for it. Personally, I'm married to a veteran who doesn't have a college degree due to family finances. However, while enlisted she received training in linguistics, which is a specialty that requires a great deal of intelligence to even be accepted into their program.

[music]

Well, I think it depends on the way you look at it. Yes, that's one way to look at it. Another way to look at it is that intellectual stimulation is necessary for some people. Half (or perhaps more than half) the faculty I know in my department also have faculty members as spouses. I think it's more personal preference than it is a general prescription for PhD students.

Last I heard, there are people without PhD aspirations who are able to engage in meaningful and/or intellectual conversation. Perhaps I am behind the times. My husband seems to manage to hold a conversation (including with my cohort, about our PhD subject) just fine. Try to think about who you are insulting when you make rash, stereotypical, demeaning statements.

[victorydance]

Another way to look at it is that intellectual stimulation is necessary for some people. Half (or perhaps more than half) the faculty I know in my department also have faculty members as spouses. I think it's more personal preference than it is a general prescription for PhD students.

 

I think that's a bit of a logical leap. It's not surprising to see many partners who are both involved in similar or the same field in any profession. We meet people largely due to our proximity in interests or interception of day-to-day life. In other words, you will see lots of people dating or married to people in the same profession just because the chances of interacting and hence getting involved with someone who you bump into more regularly are greater. 

[ashiepoo72]

I just want to throw out that most of my professors are married to non-academics. All their partners are ambitious and intellectually engaged in their own ways, and I think that's more important than having a PhD. One is married to another academic in a completely different field, and they somehow manage to bridge the divide and occasionally coteach (my prof's husband is in a science field and she's a historian).

I get why you're concerned about dating a non-academic. My concern is dating someone who doesn't understand my busy schedule, my mental exhaustion at the end of the day, my work load, how obsessed I am with my field and studies--even more troubling is dating someone who doesn't feel strongly and passionately about what they're doing, whatever that may be, or someone who doesn't "think deeply." However, I think it's important to keep an open mind. While I find myself drawn to people who are going through similar things academically, I don't think it's fair to assume others are incapable of understanding your situation and contributing to a relationship.