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Making the Best of a (Potentially) Difficult Situation


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I've been weaning myself off GC for a bit, so I've not been as active lately, but I have been perusing the forums and I'm surprised/amused/shocked to note that the app season brings out the best in some and the worst in others.

 

How are you doing at the moment? What are your coping strategies to deal with the many consequences/synchronicities of the season, i.e. making a decision to attend a school, relationship issues, graduation, children, temporary unemployment, illness, etc.? I'm interested in sharing these things because I firmly believe our strength is in our numbers; many of us have either committed or will soon commit to a program, and many of the same challenges (and many different ones) await us on the other side. 

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To combat the stress and anxiety, I've been watching a ton of Buffy and other various shows, reading a bunch of comics and graphic novels, taking up a bonsai hobby, and baking every dessert I can think of. Seriously, the amount of pies and cheesecakes I've made and given away is now at a staggering number. 

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Yes, I'm weaning myself off of GC too. Slowly. But I do check in a few times per day!

 

I still have moments of abject despondency over not getting into a Ph.D. program, but most of me is just glad to be wrapping up my final semester of undergrad, and looking forward to moving to Maryland, starting the next phase of my journey etc. I've had the week off (spring break), but have been trying to get ahead a little bit with my reading and writing. Just wrapped up a paper taking a critic to task (via Aristotle) for his dismissal of Fletcher's contributions to The Two Noble Kinsmen. I'm also catching up on previous seasons of The Walking Dead and am currently in the process of doing a bit of spring cleaning at home. Oh, and trying to get on track with my diet after a couple of relapses that involved ice cream, sushi, and may or may not have included a meal of chicken and waffles at IHOP... :ph34r:

 

All in all, I think I'm doing well though. It will take awhile for the disappointment to dissipate, and given that I still haven't 100% gotten over getting laid off at a mediocre job in 2009, I may never truly be able to think about this application season without a tinge of sadness. But onward and upward...and go Terps! :D

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I spent my week dealing with snobby landladies, which was entertaining. Judging from forums in previous years, people get kind of snippy around this time, but at least none of us make a point of sniffing at our career choices. ("Oh, you're a graduate student? How nice...we are very particular about our residents, so you would have to prove that you will be able to support yourself on your income, that's your income--we don't accept cosigners or student loans.")
 
And I suppose I'm unsettled because four of my schools are still silent. While I wouldn't wish for four rejections, at least if they sent me the fatal email, I would have some closure. Other GCrs feel this way too, right? The desolation of silence? 
 
In positive news, I signed up for the Red Cross. The orientation leaders actually treated me like an adult, and they seemed eager to work with me. (Yay community service! Yay networking!) 
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I've started practicing guided meditation. I use one of two mobile apps: Headspace and Breathe.

 

In regards to the app season, it's been helpful to me in promoting self-awareness and -reflection, and it's helped me be forthright with professors at my target programs about my thoughts, concerns, and interests. Before I didn't talk about applying to graduate school to anyone accept my immediate family, my BFFs, and my recommenders, because I didn't want to have to talk to too many people if I got rejected (I also just don't dig it as a convo starter), being honest about my choices and struggles now is very helpful, because it means that the people who are in the best position to help me at the schools I'm considering can be reciprocally forthright in return.

 

My first love always has and always will be television, and Broad City's back on air. That's probably the most important thing.

Edited by hypervodka
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It's been stressful.  There happens to be a lot up in the air, for my family, these days, and I kind of just want the whole thing to be over, and know which way to jump.  That said, the frozen north is starting to unfreeze, and the days are longer, which helps.

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That said, the frozen north is starting to unfreeze, and the days are longer, which helps.

 

It's SO TRUE.

 

One week ago today, it was 20 degrees here, and there was half a foot of snow on the ground. Yesterday it was in the high 60s, and the long-term forecast shows nothing below 50. While I can't rightly say I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, I also can't deny that I am typically in far better spirits when the weather is warm and the days are longer. It also means that I can get back into my post-class-day-commute routine of smoking a cigar with my windows down on the drive home while I listen to music. It combines literally four things that I love: driving, listening to music, smoking cigars, and feeling the warm breeze in my hair. Heaven. :)

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I've started practicing guided meditation. I use one of two mobile apps: Headspace and Breathe.

 

In regards to the app season, it's been helpful to me in promoting self-awareness and -reflection, and it's helped me be forthright with professors at my target programs about my thoughts, concerns, and interests. Before I didn't talk about applying to graduate school to anyone accept my immediate family, my BFFs, and my recommenders, because I didn't want to have to talk to too many people if I got rejected (I also just don't dig it as a convo starter), being honest about my choices and struggles now is very helpful, because it means that the people who are in the best position to help me at the schools I'm considering can be reciprocally forthright in return.

 

Agreed on the meditation bit! I took a 10 day meditation course in the middle of the woods a few years back. No talking, no writing, no reading, two vegetarian meals a day and meditation from 5am to 9pm. It was really intense and gave me a lot of time to be aware of myself. It was insanely difficult and painful and I'm not sure I'd be willing to do it again. It's Vipassana meditation, if anyone is interested... completely free and they have centers around most of the world.

 

Clearly I had no time or energy to keep it up during application season... who knows, it might've helped me perform better like it has for you.

 

It's SO TRUE.

 

One week ago today, it was 20 degrees here, and there was half a foot of snow on the ground. Yesterday it was in the high 60s, and the long-term forecast shows nothing below 50. While I can't rightly say I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, I also can't deny that I am typically in far better spirits when the weather is warm and the days are longer. It also means that I can get back into my post-class-day-commute routine of smoking a cigar with my windows down on the drive home while I listen to music. It combines literally four things that I love: driving, listening to music, smoking cigars, and feeling the warm breeze in my hair. Heaven. :)

 

Ah! Nothing better than a smoke while driving on a beautiful day... though my ("healthy") choice nowadays is a vaporizer, not real cigarettes. And honestly, getting out of east coast seasonal cycle really helped my mood too. I couldn't stand the 6-7 month snowy season anymore.

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One week ago today, it was 20 degrees here, and there was half a foot of snow on the ground. Yesterday it was in the high 60s, and the long-term forecast shows nothing below 50. While I can't rightly say I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, I also can't deny that I am typically in far better spirits when the weather is warm and the days are longer. It also means that I can get back into my post-class-day-commute routine of smoking a cigar with my windows down on the drive home while I listen to music. It combines literally four things that I love: driving, listening to music, smoking cigars, and feeling the warm breeze in my hair. Heaven. :)

 

Spring time on the east coast is the best, I'm so jealous. High 60s sounds amazing right now. It's 93 in LA today and it looks like summer is already here, unfortunately. Time to crank up the AC!

 

As for coping strategies, I'm surprised to find that somehow this process has sort of turned me into a fitness enthusiast. I used to scoff at the people who said they couldn't get through finals week without going to the gym, but now I'm pretty sure that it's helped me avoid a lot of unecessary stress. As always, I defer to the wisdom of Elle Woods:

tumblr_m7khdgoU6P1qkruy8o1_500.gif

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As for coping strategies, I'm surprised to find that somehow this process has sort of turned me into a fitness enthusiast. I used to scoff at the people who said they couldn't get through finals week without going to the gym, but now I'm pretty sure that it's helped me avoid a lot of unecessary stress.

 

It will be a long while before I'll ever be considered a fitness enthusiast, but I did spontaneously buy a (reasonably cheap) treadmill last week. I hurt my knee last summer, and it still gives me issues when I try to use our stationary bike, so I'm hoping that a treadmill will help in that regard.

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Moment of truth guys...meeting my prof for coffee and breaking the news that this cycle was brutal...ahhhhhhhh lmfao I hate this part

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm underemployed at the moment, plus have a running injury which has derailed my marathon training, so it's been a little bit difficult to stay afloat (so much unstructured time.......).

 

The keys for me are making and following through on plans with friends, getting outside (I'm lucky enough to live by a lake), getting to the gym, making sure I do the banal things that boost my self-esteem (going to the hairdresser's, even when it feels like a luxury), making sure I have a creative project (or two, or three!) on the go (need to keep feeling inspired!).

 

When I did my MA, I put much less pressure on myself as I saw it as an exciting experiment: one year, in the same city I was already living in. I was just so excited to be a student again. This time around I'll be making the same transition from working into studying, but this time it feels like I'm holding the well-being of my future self in my hands. Trying to focus on how excited I am to learn and research and write new things, rather than on whether, in my heart of hearts, I'm an interdisciplinary medievalist or a comparatist or a Germanist or none of the above (a question a POI pushed me on recently). The academics I most admire spent/d their lives eluding those sorts of categorisations - I suppose I had better get used to embracing the ambiguity!

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