Am I even good enough? I need some serious advice.

[legally.librarian]

Hi,

 

My name is Ecie and I am losing my mind. I've completed two applications to grad school and am waiting to hear back but I don't know if I should apply to more. I'm not confident about myself or my abilities because of my past and so I need some advice on applying to more schools.

 

Here is my undergraduate information:

-obtained a double-major History/English degree in 2.5 years (versus the normal 4 years)

----concentrations were European History and Creative Writing

-was a library aid at school

-was a RA

-was a peer mentor

-was a summer RA

-was accepted to four honor societies

----History

----English

----RA

----Center for Academic Excellence

-was an emerging scholar

-was on the Center for Academic Excellence's Student Advisory Board

-was part of the three-year program (but graduated even earlier at 2.5 years)

-made Dean's List each semester

-have a 3.591 GPA

 

When not at school and currently, I am a children's/YA assistant librarian in a public library.

 

I need advice because I want to go to grad school for Medieval History (specifically British/Irish) and so I know I kind of need to go overseas. I did apply to Simmons College for the dual-Masters in Archives and History since I already work in libraries and do love it. I applied to Oxford and am thinking about applying to Cambridge, Durham, and King's College London (all in the UK). I just... don't know if I'm good enough. My GPA is slightly lower than most of the schools are looking for but I feel like my graduating so early might make up for it since it shows how determined, hardworking, and passionate I am. Especially because I have a chronic kidney condition and had to do all my work even when I ended up in the hospital a few times. I guess my question is... AM I good enough? Or should I lower my aims even though that would make me unhappy? Please help!

 

Thanks for anyone who tries to help me out. It is much appreciated. <3

[dr. t]

Here is a response I made to a similar question earlier this cycle:

 

We can't tell you what your chances are with this information. The quantifiables may keep you out if they're terrible (yours are not), but they are not what will get you in. Your knowledge, your particular interests, and your ability to articulate these clearly and concisely in your statement and writing sample - things we will never see and cannot judge - are the deciding factors. The best we can tell you is what any department's website will tell you: your numbers are OK but not great, and that most good programs take about 5-10% of their applicant pool.

 

It remains true for you. However, it is not strictly necessary for you to go overseas to do what you want, as there are several strong US programs in the field. This is particularly important since the British PhD is vastly different from the American one.

 

As to if you're good enough? Only one way to find out.

Edited March 18, 2015 by telkanuru

[ashiepoo72]

This is my experience, so take it with a grain of salt. If your qualitative factors are stellar (writing sample, SOP, LOR) and your quantitative factors are in the acceptable range (preferably higher than average, but I don't think my GPA and GRE were so amazing they were the deciding factors), you should be fine. Will you get in? No one here can tell you that. I urge you to focus more on the things you can control--that also happen to be most important: writing sample and SOP.

[knp]

Breathe. Make yourself a pot of tea, and drink it while you do something that calms you; ideally, something that doesn't involve a screen. If it's starting to be spring where you are, take walks or go running outside when you can. If you feel comfortable doing so, find a friend or family member you trust, and tell them you've been feeling stressed. Ask them to give you a hug. If that part doesn't appeal to you, that's okay; I only recommend that because, if we were having this conversation in person, I would want to give you that hug.

 

I am going to be making a number of assumptions about you, based on not very much information. I hope none of them are too off the mark! But I'm not smart enough to get rid of all my assumptions if I wanted to, so I can only hope this post helps you a little despite them.

 

So, I'm about to recommend you do that thing, the thing that is the easiest advice to give, and the hardest to apply: Relax. It sounds like you've been sprinting for some time, in adverse conditions. I also had major health issues for a long time. I'm lucky enough to be fine now, but it ſucks with you, I know. You graduated! You graduated, and you achieved a lot. You're an adult now, with an adult job. That's huge. Do you know how hard it is for most people to get that first job? But you have one, and it's a good one, and it's a hard one, and it's one that does a lot of good.

 

Unfortunately, it wouldn't surprise me much if your early graduation has worked against you this time around. Graduating so early shows that you are hardworking, and dedicated, and passionate. Absolutely, yes. But an increasing number of people* these days advocate for taking time off after graduating from a bachelors' and before entering graduate school.** That's for people who graduated on time, so I'm guessing that this also applies to those who graduate early. See, you've absolutely shown that you're hardworking, dedicated, and passionate under pressure, and that you perform well in sprints. When I composed my first applications at the end of undergrad, they had this breathless quality about them because I'd also been sprinting, so because I project I'm wondering if yours do, too. But graduate school is a marathon, and I think admissions committees also want to see patience and thoughtfulness, qualities that I personally was not ready to show for some time after I graduated. From this one post, I have no doubt that you have these qualities within you, but it sounds like the past few years didn't give you many chances to stop and reflect about much of anything. Now that you've graduated and are working, you have time to think about where you're going! Trying to think, and especially to get clarity about the bigger picture, is so hard if you always have another deadline looming. So I'd advise you to really use that time, and revel in the slowness of it. Nobody needs you decide anything by any specific date. If you get in, you don't need to decide on your exact dissertation focus for some years. If you decide to apply again another cycle, you have a few years to think about it, if you need them, or less if you don't. Either way, your timetable is longer than the next few months.

 

*I hear it mostly from the mentors of undergraduates applying to graduate school, but I assume the graduate schools themselves are supportive.

**This does make class assumptions to which I object, but that's a conversation for another time.

 

What I would advise is that, if you don't get in anywhere this year, you tell yourself that you are not going to apply to graduate school again next year. See how that feels. Try it on for size. That doesn't need to be a binding resolution; if in July or August you decide that you are ready to apply next cycle, go ahead and change your mind. But I would advise that you spend the next few months thinking that you won't go. Just the mental experiment may help you tremendously; when I graduated, a similar break certainly helped me.

 

But let's return to your original question, although I can only answer it in part. I don't know much about you, but I know you're a librarian who works with children. That requires patience, cheerfulness, and good nature. If you can do that job, you are probably a much kinder person than I am. You've overcome a lot to get where you are. You're persistent, passionate, and determined. You're not confident in yourself today—but You, yourself, are Enough. I don't know whether your application, now or in the future, will get you into a medieval history PhD. We're strangers on the internet; I will probably never know that. But I do know that it doesn't matter. Whatever you decide to do with your life, whenever you make that decision, you are enough.

Edited March 18, 2015 by knp

[erchha]

With medieval history it is especially important to have some knowledge of languages. How is your Latin? I don't think this will make or break an application at the MA level (I've only had one year of college Latin and was accepted into 4 MA programs for medieval history) but it certainly doesn't hurt, and is a great thing to work on before reapplying next year if that is what you decide to do. There are also a lot of great schools in North America which have especially strong programs in medieval history, and if you want any more info on these feel free to PM me.

[dr. t]

Still, MA programs are hard places to pick up and master a language. It's best to have the preliminary skills already.

[remenis]

To reiterate a few things which have been said and which I agree with:

 

1) I second the call to relax, breathe and seek out a hug. You are not an insufficient person if your applications are not successful - that could be for many reasons and not reflective on your skills or intelligence.

2) I also agree that we cannot tell you with this information if you will get in. There are so many unknowns and you sort of just have to wait.

3) It is difficult to be accepted to most (especially top) Medieval programs without the languages - Latin and French will be essential for anyone interested in medieval Britain, and German will likely be required as well. Applying without any of these languages can really hurt you (though this is more true at the PhD level than the MA level).

 

Another important thought:

Several people questioned your interest in going abroad and suggested you look at American programs - but I have to say, in my experience British/Irish Medieval History is a really tough sell in a lot of US Phd programs right now.

 

My program, one of the few which actually still has a professor specializing in Medieval England does not accept people who wish to study this any more. My adviser (who does not work on England), said that it has nothing to do with the quality of the students or their "fit" with the department - it is because most universities and colleges are not interested in hiring professors to teach Medieval Britain. In the US there are now a lot more medieval professor jobs calling for specialization in the Mediterranean, or cross-cultural medieval history. The Anglo-Saxon medieval history which used to dominate has fallen significantly out of favor - perhaps not everywhere but it is a substantial trend in the job market of medieval history. I think people often forget that professors try to take the job market into consideration when accepting applications - as my adviser put it, "We only accept people we think we can place," and there are just not many jobs for medievalists who study Britain/Ireland (there are limited jobs for all medievalists of course, but I think this subfield is especially limited and thus competitive).

 

I don't bring this up to be negative or to tell you not to study what you love (especially when you already seem so stressed about your applications), just to say that I think you are actually right when you point out that you understand you need to apply abroad - I think you may actually have better luck in English programs (where understandably English medieval history is still a central focus) regardless of your qualifications or academic history.

 

But British PhDs have disadvantages as well - there are significant differences in the US and English PhD systems with far shorter times to completion and less coursework in the British system (less time to learn languages, and less time to really broaden your knowledge as a historian). Although finishing in 2.5 years is impressive and hard work, to be a prepared historian, you may find you actually need more courses and more time as a student (I don't know if your fast graduation sacrificed courses or just had you doubling them up and working twice as hard in those 2.5 years - but if you only took the minimum courses needed to graduate as soon as you could, there are likely gaps in what you need to know to really succeed in the field). Some professors have advised friends of mine that it can be very hard for foreigners to get a job in the UK as a professor even if they complete their PhD there (the job market here will remain dismal for your interests).

 

Once you know how your applications from this year turned out you can make a more informed decision about what to do next (apply more broadly if you don't get in? try for more MA programs?). If you don't get in, my recommendation would be perhaps to try for MA programs in Medieval History (wherever they are, UK, Toronto, US) which are broadly focused - not necessarily strongest on English history - it's less key for a MA to have faculty so related to your main field of interest, and these programs can still help better prepare you for getting into a PhD program. But don't let worry about being good enough stop you from trying - and don't think that a rejection (if you get one) reflects on your skills or worth when it may merely reflect your current preparation or the school's circumstances. 

[Cpt Jo]

I need advice because I want to go to grad school for Medieval History (specifically British/Irish) and so I know I kind of need to go overseas. I did apply to Simmons College for the dual-Masters in Archives and History since I already work in libraries and do love it. I applied to Oxford and am thinking about applying to Cambridge, Durham, and King's College London (all in the UK). I just... don't know if I'm good enough. My GPA is slightly lower than most of the schools are looking for but I feel like my graduating so early might make up for it since it shows how determined, hardworking, and passionate I am. Especially because I have a chronic kidney condition and had to do all my work even when I ended up in the hospital a few times. I guess my question is... AM I good enough? Or should I lower my aims even though that would make me unhappy? Please help!

 

Thanks for anyone who tries to help me out. It is much appreciated. <3

You need a 3.7 GPA to go to Oxford:

"For applicants with a degree from the USA, the minimum GPA sought is 3.7 out of 4.0.

However, entrance is very competitive and most successful applicants have a cumulative GPA of 3.8, a first-class degree or the equivalent."

 

However, you can compensate low undergrad scores with a strong research proposal, because this is the key element in the application in the UK. So you have your chance if you already have a very good idea of what you want to do.

Otherwise, you should do a MA before applying to a PhD, and your dissertation will help you the get the historiographical background and archival knowledge required for the proposal.

 

As an American student, you will have few funding opportunities, but you must apply to Oxbridge, which have the best studentships for internationals, and Leeds/Sheffield/York. Durham and King's College London have virtually no funding for internationals.

York is especially reputed for its Medieval Studies, so you should definitely apply there.

http://www.york.ac.uk/medieval-studies/postgraduate-study/phd-medieval-studies/

[Sigaba]

 

Thanks for anyone who tries to help me out. It is much appreciated. <3

 

My recommendation is that you start thinking of yourself as a historian who is going to make contributions to the profession and communicate as such. In your OP, you spend much more time talking about metrics and tickets punched than about your interests as a historian.

 

Can you find ways to be more specific about your interests and your research focus? Which trajectories of historiography do you see yourself advancing with your scholarship? How does your vision of yourself as a medievalist fit into the broader profession?

 

IRT your metrics and tickets punched, I think you could rework the information you've provided. It isn't about answering the question "Am I even good enough?" It is about making a statement on how good you are. Consider the following questions to get you on that pathway of thought. Can you provide a more concise narrative that tells how your academic experiences as an undergraduate have prepared you for graduate school? Can you make the argument how those experiences are good indicators that you will be a productive, contributing member of a department as a graduate student? Can you talk about your health issues in a way that addresses potential concerns and doubts? Have your health issues made you a better historian and person?

[HistoryMystery]

My recommendation is that you start thinking of yourself as a historian who is going to make contributions to the profession and communicate as such. In your OP, you spend much more time talking about metrics and tickets punched than about your interests as a historian.

 

Can you find ways to be more specific about your interests and your research focus? Which trajectories of historiography do you see yourself advancing with your scholarship? How does your vision of yourself as a medievalist fit into the broader profession?

 

IRT your metrics and tickets punched, I think you could rework the information you've provided. It isn't about answering the question "Am I even good enough?" It is about making a statement on how good you are. Consider the following questions to get you on that pathway of thought. Can you provide a more concise narrative that tells how your academic experiences as an undergraduate have prepared you for graduate school? Can you make the argument how those experiences are good indicators that you will be a productive, contributing member of a department as a graduate student? Can you talk about your health issues in a way that addresses potential concerns and doubts? Have your health issues made you a better historian and person?

 

Yep this is good advice. Basically followed this outline for my SoP and it was one of the main things my POIs seemed to comment on in terms of the strengths of my application, in addition to the research project I used for my writing sample.

Edited March 20, 2015 by HistoryMystery

[legally.librarian]

Hello everyone,

 

Thank you for your words and advice. I took them all very seriously! I was not accepted to Durham or Oxford but was accepted for the dual-degree program at Simmons. I am waiting to hear back from Cambridge.

 

(Does anyone know about the Cambridge process? My online portal has been on "under consideration by the degree committee" for what seems like forever.)

 

Sorry it took so long to get back to you all. I had surgery and I wanted to wait until I had some news. At least I got accepted somewhere.

 

Thanks again,

Ecie <3