My Statment of Purpose TEMPLATE (1st revision)

[MIK3]

Below is a template I am going to base my SOP/LOI off of. I think this will help with my structure and keeping it CONCISE (big flaw I had last time). Any and all commentary, constructive or otherwise is welcomed

My Template:

1. Introduction

a. Creative quotation/realization/question

b. Brief family background

c. The reason I chose Cognitive Psychology was…

2. Your Intent as a Graduate Student @ University “X”

a. Why did you choose the university?

b. Who do you want to work with?

c. Why do you want to work with this individual?

d. What type of research has this individual done?

e. How does this parallel your interests?

3. Personal Traits that Contribute to Becoming a Grad Student

a. Meticulous attention to detail

b. Continuous need to improve a current study

c. Contemplative nature

d. Inventive

e. Heavy use of causal inference

f. Highly anticipatory of outcome/results

4. Professional Traits “…”

a. 2 years experience as a Behavioral Health Specialist

b. 2 years experience with a geriatric crowd (nursing home)

5. Academic Traits “…”

a. Lead Researcher – Embodied Cognition – Mirror Neurons

b. Lead Researcher – Effective Thinking – Causal Reasoning

c. Research Assistant – Social Cognition – Aversive Motivations

d. Co-Author of poster presented @ Annual Cognitive Neuroscience Society meeting

e. Minor in Philosophy

f. Society of Automotive Engineer Member (Formula); Sponsorship/Website/Build

g. Psi Chi – Psychology Honors Society member

6. Discrepancies/Inconsistencies Worth Mentioning

a. Projected GPA upon graduation

b. GPA not as high due to taking core classes first, electives later

c. Have since realized standardized tests do not reflect capabilities

7. Conclusion

a. Formal thanking

b. What you have learned in reapplying to graduate school

c. Reiterate why you are the candidate they are looking for

d. State why you stand out among the rest of the applicants

e. Close with something refreshing

[cheesethunder]

this looks really good

but maybe too long! i found mine filled up super fast!

[fuzzylogician]

I counted over 30 points you want to address in your SOP. I don't see how you can be concise, but still seriously discuss all of that. What's more, many of the points you have there are not things I would either discuss at all, or at least not discuss directly. I think your schema is not concentrating on the right things. The SOP should be about your current and future research interests and intentions - what you want to do, how, why X university is the place to do it in. It should be future oriented, focused, concise (as you say). That means not giving a lot of anecdotal information, but rather focusing and expanding on the few ideas that matter. You have to choose them wisely.

Here are some thoughts about your template:

1. Introduction

a. Creative quotation/realization/question

b. Brief family background

c. The reason I chose Cognitive Psychology was…

b isn't at all relevant to an SOP. a and c can in some cases be conflated to one point. Personally I'm not a big fan of the creative opening, but it does seem to prevail.

2. Your Intent as a Graduate Student @ University “X”

a. Why did you choose the university?

b. Who do you want to work with?

c. Why do you want to work with this individual?

d. What type of research has this individual done?

e. How does this parallel your interests?

b-e are really derivatives of the same point. At this point, or at some previous time, you should give some description of your own interests. That's the best way for the school to tell if you fit there. You might also want to include some other factors that make X a good fit for you - e.g. course selection, lab/library facilities, intra- and inter- departmental collaboration, etc.. maybe that's what you mean by a.

3. Personal Traits that Contribute to Becoming a Grad Student

a. Meticulous attention to detail

b. Continuous need to improve a current study

c. Contemplative nature

d. Inventive

e. Heavy use of causal inference

f. Highly anticipatory of outcome/results

Personally I'd be wary of having a designated paragraph talk about your character. These are really things you want to demonstrate through example(s), not tell. They'd also be more convincing coming from recommenders.

4. Professional Traits “…”

a. 2 years experience as a behavioral Health Specialist

b. 2 years experience with a geriatric crowd (nursing home)

You need to do more than just list your accomplishments. Show how they're relevant to what you intend to study, put them in context. If these experiences are not relevant, they should go on your cv, not your SOP.

5. Academic Traits “…”

a. Lead Researcher – Embodied Cognition – Mirror Neurons

b. Lead Researcher – Effective Thinking – Causal Reasoning

c. Research Assistant – Social Cognition – Aversive Motivations

d. Co-Author of poster presented @ Annual Cognitive Neuroscience Society meeting

e. Minor in Philosophy

f. Society of Automotive Engineer Member (Formula); Sponsorship/Website/Build

g. Psi Chi – Psychology Honors Society member

I can't imagine more than 2 or 3 things out of the first 5 being relevant to your SOP (depending on your current and future research interests). The last two items definitely don't belong in your SOP, leave them in your cv. Of the rest, I think you really need to choose which you want to concentrate on, otherwise your SOP will look like a list of facts, not like an essay. The SOP is for expanding on relevant facts, not for repeating facts the adcom can find out from other parts of your application and that don't contribute to your argument for "why I'm the perfect candidate for this program".

6. Discrepancies/Inconsistencies Worth Mentioning

a. Projected GPA upon graduation

b. GPA not as high due to taking core classes first, electives later

c. Have since realized standardized tests do not reflect capabilities

Applications always have a place for you to put your GPA on. Unless you expect a significant change for the better, why mention your projected GPA? b and c sound kind of like excuses, and I think it would be ill-advised to say something about both the GRE and the GPA. Maybe if one is particularly low, address that (or explain nothing, if there's nothing extremely deviant).

7. Conclusion

a. Formal thanking

b. What you have learned in reapplying to graduate school

c. Reiterate why you are the candidate they are looking for

d. State why you stand out among the rest of the applicants

e. Close with something refreshing

a+e: Your choice, I'd definitely not do a, and be wary of not being all that refreshing in e. You don't want to be taken the wrong way. I'd leave b out, unless what you learned is how to focus your research interests, some new skill, or something along these lines.

Good luck!

[MIK3]

Wow. That was an amazing response. I appreciate the effort you put into that fuzzylogician and will consider it all. I think one of the most important parts is keeping it all within context in a very defined and condensed manner. You points seem to stress this very well. As I'm sure you can notice, I am very prose when writing. Something I very much need to improve upon. \

Once again, thank you! Your response is exactly why I posted it. Revision #2 is on its way.

[fuzzylogician]

Glad to help!

[fred987]

b isn't at all relevant to an SOP. a and c can in some cases be conflated to one point. Personally I'm not a big fan of the creative opening, but it does seem to prevail.

I have to respectfully disagree, in some cases family background is relevant, for example if you're applying for a MA in Psychology and your mother suffered from a psychological disorder, this may serve as your motivation to work in the field. Of course this isn't applicable to everyone, and should be treated on a case by case basis. But I don't think it should automatically be removed.

[fuzzylogician]

I'm not in psyc but I think it could be a serious kiss of death to be too revealing about your own mental health, or that of a family member or friend. I'd also guess it's not an all-that original reason for wanting to study psychology in the first place. You can disagree, of course.

[cheesethunder]

i agree with fuzzy, thats a really good page! thanks

yea i've talked to graduate students & they've advised the same thing, don't mention mental illness/ negative touchy examples

keep your SOP positive

open with an example of an experience that made the area important to you and base your SOP off of it

[JohnBom]

I'm not in psyc but I think it could be a serious kiss of death to be too revealing about your own mental health, or that of a family member or friend. I'd also guess it's not an all-that original reason for wanting to study psychology in the first place. You can disagree, of course.

I just read the article you posted. I really enjoyed it. It's making me wonder where is the line between impressing someone appropriately and inappropriately.

Overall, I very much agree with you on the sop changes. According to the outline, this could turn out to be ten pages long and you really only want about three good ones.

[fred987]

I'm not in psych either, it was just an example, although apparently a poor one. My point simply was that sometimes a personal family experience can lead a person to a specific study and if worded correctly could contribute positively to the SOP.

[fuzzylogician]

I'm not in psych either, it was just an example, although apparently a poor one. My point simply was that sometimes a personal family experience can lead a person to a specific study and if worded correctly could contribute positively to the SOP.

True, but my reply addresses this specific thread, whose is opener is applying to psyc programs. Obviously it won't be true for all posters in all fields. It may not even be true for this poster in this field. Maybe I should add "YMMV" to my signature .

[MIK3]

Fuzzy,

I've read that Kiss of Death article, it sure is an advantageous read. I've began a first draft of my statement and am realizing just how horrible of a template I initially had. I've witnessed that while writing mine, it is basically paragraphs that include substantiating reasons as to why I would be an ideal candidate and focuses on my intent as a potential graduate student @ X university. I have taken your suggestions into consideration (virtually all of them). Being a fan of logic and a current MIT student...I deem you a valuable source.

I'd post a rough draft of my SOP so far, but am paranoid of potential professors of the universities that I am applying to finding them or having this thread come up on a plagiarism-catching website...

And to everyone: Thanks again. Contributions are always a plus.

[pea-jay]

Yeah, thanks for the KOD article, I downloaded it. Stuff like this should be kept somewhere on here as permanent resources for future grad student applicants