Leaving a PhD Program/Assistantship without Damaging Adviser or Research Team

[Coriolis E.]

I have a troubling situation that is probably not unique, and therefore I'm hoping this post becomes a discussion point that others find useful!

I'll try to keep this short: I started a PhD program about 6 months ago with the intention of conducting some cool research, and leaving with credentials to continue pursuing independent research and projects, albeit only tangentially connected to academia (if at all).  I've been funded as a research assistant (2 year duration) on a team project of which I'm a fairly integral part, even though I'm only in 1 semester.  Pretty stable situation/trajectory.

The problem: I just had an offer arrive in my e-mail inbox that I simply cannot turn down.  This is a position in a place I want to live, with the creative discretion and opportunity to do cool research that I would want upon leaving with my PhD 4-5 years from now. The offer was unsolicited.  Since I do not want to stay in academia, I would absolutely kick myself if I didn't take the opportunity, and would be miserable having to go through the PhD process for several years for minimal wage in a hyper-critical arena of scholars, and have my ideas altered to fit with what others are thinking and writing about (what the Ivory Tower refers to as "grounding" your work).

Unfortunately, I have an intense fear of upsetting other people, especially people I respect.  If I were to leave now, I would be punching a hole in the team project, or at least creating a hefty setback for them.  For all practical purposes, I have no need for their approval or collaboration in the future, but I respect them nonetheless, and I hate to see my adviser struggle with finding a new PhD student on short notice.  I also would hate to damage his reputation as he's had very few PhD students, and advising a successful PhD student is basically a deliverable for him as he is certainly set on climbing the tenure ladder and building a good rep. in academia.

Simply put:  To be true to myself and pursue something that is right for me, I need to bow out of the program.  However, I am terrified by the prospect of creating huge setbacks for my adviser and the rest of the research team.  Obviously I would offer to work as much as possible on the RA through the semester, and would even work for free for a  month or two after terminating my RA if it makes life easier for him, but I just don't know the most graceful and professional way to exit the program.  I should tell him sooner rather than later, but am also afraid that he'll be so upset that he won't let me continue helping beyond the semester, and the next few months will be incredibly uncomfortable for all involved.

Any advice or insight from people in similar situations, or who have navigated a similar issue?  Particularly instances in which lots of resources and expectations were invested in you?

[rising_star]

Note: everything below is assuming that the offer in your inbox is a done deal, not something where you're still waiting to actually receive the offer or negotiate about it.

1) Do NOT offer to work for free as after terminating your contract as a RA. That doesn't actually help things (you're assuming the new position will let you delay your start, you're potentially preventing another person from getting paid as a RA [why would the PI pay them if you're willing to do that work for free?]).

2) After accepting the job, schedule a meeting ASAP with your advisor to discuss what you're thinking of doing. They may want you to leave now, rather than later. They may want your help in wrapping a few things up. They may want to handle telling everyone else in the lab, rather than you doing it yourself.

3) Have you considered taking a leave of absence from your program, just in case it turns out you do need the PhD or if the new position doesn't work out? It might be wise to do, just so you have a Plan B. 

Congratulations on the cool offer and good luck!!

[TakeruK]

I second rising_star's suggestions. Congratulations! Also, most PIs I know would certainly be upset and sad that one of their students left, but ultimately, the ones that care about their students will be happy that their student is successful. You need to do what's right for you! 

I also want to say that a leave of absence is a great idea if it's a possibility. My school offers up to 2 years for a leave of absence for things like this (sometimes students leave to start their own company etc.). However, be clear on the terms of the leave---at my school, you are promised admission and funding when you return, but not necessarily a position in the same lab you started in (unless your advisor agrees to it).

[Coriolis E.]

Thanks folks. This is helpful.  The offer to assist for a month or two for free is under the assumption that it takes more than the next month or two to find a new RA.  I'll follow his lead, of course, but don't want him picking up 20 hrs/week of slack during the entire spring semester!

[rising_star]

Thanks folks. This is helpful.  The offer to assist for a month or two for free is under the assumption that it takes more than the next month or two to find a new RA.  I'll follow his lead, of course, but don't want him picking up 20 hrs/week of slack during the entire spring semester!

Honestly, this is not your concern. If you stay on to work as his RA, then you should be paid for doing so. If you need to write up procedures or notes for the new RA, then you should do that now while you're still being paid. But offering to work for free means someone else may not be getting paid work at all. And, people leave labs all the time. Your PI will be able to find someone to do at least part of the work you're doing. 

[TakeruK]

I agree that you should not be working for free. Your time is worth more than that. And, as rising_star said, you are doing free work and taking away paid work from another person. And, since it's free work, it will put the supervisor in a weird place too because they can't really "manage" you like an actual worker. Professors in my field will rarely take on volunteers for this reason.

It's not your responsibility to find a replacement for yourself and it's also not your responsibility to worry about who will do the work. What is your responsibility though, is to do your part in giving your team the appropriate amount of warning so that they can hire a new RA. The earliest this could happen is when you confirm and sign an agreement for the new job. This is the #2 part in rising_star's first post.

 

[juilletmercredi]

I agree with both rising_star and TakeruK on all points. Make sure the job is a done deal, then meet with your advisor and tell them what's happening. Take a leave of absence. And don't work for free.

My only addition is about managing your emotions. I think it's normal to feel a little guilty, but don't let that feeling hold you back. Acknowledge that you are going to feel a bit uncomfortable and awkward, and get used to the idea of feeling awkward while you have this conversation with your PI. Once you realize that you're going to feel weird but it's not the end of the world, you can push through it. Only you would have to spend 4-5 more years in the PhD program wondering what could've been, so don't let guilt stop you from taking a position you really want.

[Coriolis E.]

This has been helpful, and certainly reinforces my convictions.  The only dilemma that is left for me to figure out is whether to break the news in a I meeting (that I set up), or send an e-mail first with the situation and my decision clearly outlined, so that he has time to react prior to the meeting.  Just curious, does anyone have knowledge of etiquette or standard procedure for this type of notification?

[rising_star]

I would tell your PI in person, not via email. It's common courtesy.