Made a complete fool of myself

[HermoineG]

Just venting - yesterday I was completely put on the spot by one of my professors. I TA for his class. At the beginning of the class he asked me to talk to students briefly about some stuff. It wasn't related to coursework but about career options and graduate school and what not. I had to say yes. There were other four people who were invited to talk. They all knew about it in advance and were very prepared. So one by one, these four people talked about their career paths. Very interesting talks. They spoke so fluently and passionately about their careers. I was panicking because I knew I would not be so fluent. After around 30 minutes of staying in the front of the class, listening to people talk...It was my turn to talk!

I opened my mouth to introduce myself -- and something gibberish came out. I didn't even know what I said! My heart was racing and next three to four sentences were completely nonsense! It was all jumbled up, grammatically incorrect and I actually saw undergraduate girls (who were not even listening to others' talks) look up aghast and laugh! I saw people laugh at me It was so humiliating. And then I carried on... And I finally said something that made sense. I talked a bit, not as much as the other speakers, but may be for next 5 minutes. In all that mess, I might have even said something politically incorrect -- it was a psychology career talk and I said "Public health schools have more money than Psych schools" Oh god.. I can't stop thinking about those 2-4 minutes of my life!! I literally couldn't get a coherent sentence out of my mouth!

I am not a horrible public speaker... I have given talks, held mini-lectures. But I prepare a lot before speaking infront of the crowd. But this time, I completely failed myself and I am sure the professor is regretting his decision to ask me speak to his class

Anyways, just letting it out. But this feeling is so bad.

Edited December 5, 2015 by PsychChick

[Eigen]

Going last in a panel always sucks, no matter how prepared you are- it's too much time to overthink things and psych yourself out. 

I'm a good public speaker. I do it a lot, and I don't need much prep anymore. I've had to speak in front of the University Senate, at conferences, and to panels of students. 

But I just got back from a conference where I was giving a presentation. In my field, usually, talks are given by faculty or sometimes post-docs, and usually invited. But I got slated in- it was a great experience. 

But I was the last one to talk before the break, and the 4 talks preceding mine were by some of the foremost experts in my field! It wasn't the worst talk ever, but I was not my normally articulate self. I'd had the last 2 hours to compare my talk to theirs, think through everything too many times, and was not calm at all!

Venting helps, talking to friends helps, but we all do things like this and have to move on. I've made a fool out of myself in front of classes of students many times, and I'm sure I will do so many, many more. Part of teaching is learning how to make a fool out of yourself and move on!

[Elizabeth Reed]

Try not to be too hard on yourself (easier said than done, of course!) I doubt it seemed as bad to others as it did to you -- we're always our own harshest critic...and even if it really was as bad as it felt to you, no one else is thinking about very much, if at all. We are all much more focused on how we seem to others than they are! Most people are also very forgiving/understanding when it comes to judging someone else's public speaking performance -- most can relate to the discomfort and know that how someone performs in front of a group is not necessarily indicative of how smart/interesting/personable they are in other situations. 

As an undergrad, I took a course through the law school at my university. The professor was very young, probably in his late 20s, definitely not older than early 30s. There were law students in the class who were his age or maybe even a little older. It must have felt like a lot of pressure. He was off to a good start during the first lecture, talking through the syllabus and whatnot. He seemed composed and confident as he walked back and forth at the head of the class. Then he tripped over an open door at the bottom of the lectern (there was a little cabinet built into the lectern). He was a very tall guy and he fell face-first on the floor. It was a pretty dramatic moment. He got up quickly and was clearly embarrassed, but continued talking as though nothing had happened! That was the most awkward part of the whole thing...we knew he'd face-planted on the lecture-hall floor, he knew we knew, and we knew he knew we knew! A simple "whoa, didn't see that there. Anyway, as I was saying..." would have made it less awkward. But, it didn't really matter that he carried on as though he hadn't fallen on his face, and it especially didn't matter that he'd fallen in the first place. We moved on and he did a great job with the class all semester; everyone ended up really enjoying the class and respecting him. 

That example is the only one I can remember from all my time in undergrad and later a master's program. I'm sure it's not the only time a professor or TA had an awkward or embarrassing moment in a class I took. It's just that their awkward/embarrassing moments didn't make it into my long-term memory -- I only remember all the times I said or did something awkward/embarrassing. I'm sure no one else remembers my cringeworthy moments, though, because they are all too busy remembering their own!

Anyway, all of this is just a long way of emphasizing my point above: don't worry too much, everyone else is too caught up in thinking about themselves to spend much time thinking about you  

[St Andrews Lynx]

I'm sympathetic to you, OP. I still have bad memories about a presentation I bombed 3 years ago (not just nerves - a whole host of issues and things that went wrong). In the context of TA work I've made stereotypical mistakes *all* the time - wrong equation on the board, giving the student a wrong/muddled answer, adding up points wrong. Just apologise and keep on moving.

Try to keep what happened in perspective. It happened in a classroom setting, there wasn't anything too serious at stake. The universe will still go on exactly as before. You were nervous, and I'm sure the audience could see that and felt sympathy for you. The undergrads and fellow speakers will have seen worse mistakes in the context of panel speaking. I also doubt the professor is thinking about your talk as much as you are, or if he even noticed. 

I would even think that your comments about public health vs psychology schools were "politically incorrect" - they could well be true! Being realistic about the funding available at graduate level for different professions is actually pretty important!

 

[HermoineG]

On 12/5/2015, 8:59:18, Elizabeth Reed said:

Anyway, all of this is just a long way of emphasizing my point above: don't worry too much, everyone else is too caught up in thinking about themselves to spend much time thinking about you  

Yes, you are so right Everyone must have even already forgotten I did something stupid. Thanks so much for writing! It was very comforting  

 

On 12/4/2015, 11:58:20, Eigen said:

Going last in a panel always sucks, no matter how prepared you are- it's too much time to overthink things and psych yourself out. 

I'm a good public speaker. I do it a lot, and I don't need much prep anymore. I've had to speak in front of the University Senate, at conferences, and to panels of students. 

But I just got back from a conference where I was giving a presentation. In my field, usually, talks are given by faculty or sometimes post-docs, and usually invited. But I got slated in- it was a great experience. 

But I was the last one to talk before the break, and the 4 talks preceding mine were by some of the foremost experts in my field! It wasn't the worst talk ever, but I was not my normally articulate self. I'd had the last 2 hours to compare my talk to theirs, think through everything too many times, and was not calm at all!

Venting helps, talking to friends helps, but we all do things like this and have to move on. I've made a fool out of myself in front of classes of students many times, and I'm sure I will do so many, many more. Part of teaching is learning how to make a fool out of yourself and move on!

I know!! I never realized panel talks could be difficult. I always thought it would be more comfortable than just being on your own. But yes, going last in a panel sucks! Just need to not think too much and just appreciate what others say without trying to make your speech as impressive as them - is the key. I almost pressurized myself to talk as eloquently as them. I should have just stuck to what I do knew and talking about it. Gotto watch those nerves the next time. Thanks your your reply

 

On 12/5/2015, 11:31:40, St Andrews Lynx said:

I'm sympathetic to you, OP. I still have bad memories about a presentation I bombed 3 years ago (not just nerves - a whole host of issues and things that went wrong). In the context of TA work I've made stereotypical mistakes *all* the time - wrong equation on the board, giving the student a wrong/muddled answer, adding up points wrong. Just apologise and keep on moving.

Try to keep what happened in perspective. It happened in a classroom setting, there wasn't anything too serious at stake. The universe will still go on exactly as before. You were nervous, and I'm sure the audience could see that and felt sympathy for you. The undergrads and fellow speakers will have seen worse mistakes in the context of panel speaking. I also doubt the professor is thinking about your talk as much as you are, or if he even noticed. 

I would even think that your comments about public health vs psychology schools were "politically incorrect" - they could well be true! Being realistic about the funding available at graduate level for different professions is actually pretty important!

 

Thanks for your reply St Andrews Lynx. After you said this, I am glad it happened in the classroom settings. Nothing major at stake. I think I just need to seek out more opportunities of talking "impromptu". Yeah you are right, they just probably felt bad for me. I would have felt bad too if I were in their shoes. Thanks for your response

[Guest]

This is my life everyday lol due to being rather socially awkward and having anxiety issues for most of my life lol....I also hate getting put on the spot, which seems to exist in every class setting. I've gotten good with not to letting it outbeat my passion for learning though...