A couple rejections and nothing else?

[TakeruK]

Faculty members do know about the visit days a little bit ahead of time and thus they won't schedule new things / one time things, but as rising_star said, there's tons of regularly occurring things that won't be cancelled just because of visit days. For example, classes still need to be taught, weekly meetings with students need to happen and group meeting happens. And, there are often conference calls with collaborators at other schools, these usually cannot be rescheduled.

Sure, for each individual professor, these things will only take up 1-2 hours of the day, so they will still have the other 6 hours free for meetings. But each professor is going to have a different 6 hours free, and the students that want to meet with the professor will have a different set of 6 hours free etc. etc. Every year, it almost always gets done and everyone does get to meet with everyone they want, but it's a lot of work.

[Ilikekitties]

Gahhhh I see a rejection for one of the schools that I applied to!!! Whyyyyyy???

[ChrisTOEFert]

2 hours ago, LittleCritter said:

Gahhhh I see a rejection for one of the schools that I applied to!!! Whyyyyyy???

Well...I mean you could just shoot the grad coordinator an email, lying, that you have other offers and you wanted to see where you stand with them so you can make the most informed decision about your choices for visit weekends.  Saves your sanity?  Or you could do the opposite and just be patient and wait quietly like most?  Everything is out of your control, nothing can be done to change the decision right now.

[artsy16]

10 minutes ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

Well...I mean you could just shoot the grad coordinator an email, lying, that you have other offers and you wanted to see where you stand with them so you can make the most informed decision about your choices for visit weekends.  Saves your sanity?  Or you could do the opposite and just be patient and wait quietly like most?  Everything is out of your control, nothing can be done to change the decision right now.

I think lying about having other offers could potentially backfire, and even if it doesn't, it's just not true so why do it. You can just email and ask your status in a couple of days if you haven't heard anything. I've done this multiple times and I've always gotten a quick reply. 

[ChrisTOEFert]

1 minute ago, artsy16 said:

I think lying about having other offers could potentially backfire, and even if it doesn't, it's just not true so why do it. You can just email and ask your status in a couple of days if you haven't heard anything. I've done this multiple times and I've always gotten a quick reply. 

How would it backfire?  Schools don't have a connected database of who is applying where.  It would not change the result of the situation, but it would likely cause them to give you an answer earlier than later if they know you have a pending deadline.  I have done this numerous times and each time I was responded to promptly and politely with the details they could at the time of the inquiry. 

[artsy16]

1 hour ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

How would it backfire?  Schools don't have a connected database of who is applying where.  It would not change the result of the situation, but it would likely cause them to give you an answer earlier than later if they know you have a pending deadline.  I have done this numerous times and each time I was responded to promptly and politely with the details they could at the time of the inquiry. 

There's no database, but professors in similar research areas know each other. Conferences and such don't happen just for the purposes of sharing ones own research. As an extreme example, my advisor told me that when he was applying, one POI called him and told him that he wasn't accepted due to research fit, but that he had been in touch with several other faculty at schools my advisor applied to (he never told the POI or the program what schools he applied to) and knew for a fact that my advisor was getting offers from these other faculty (and he did). 

As I said, even if it doesn't "backfire", it's best practice not to volunteer a lie. 

[TakeruK]

It's not a good idea to lie.

8 hours ago, LittleCritter said:

Gahhhh I see a rejection for one of the schools that I applied to!!! Whyyyyyy???

Usually schools have a rejection list ready to go before they officially send out the rejection notice. However, if you are already on this list, and you call to ask for an update, then they will usually be able to tell you over the phone that sorry, you were not accepted. So, this might be why sometimes rejections appear in the Results Survey early, maybe it's because someone called and got an early rejection. So, if you need to also know (e.g. for planning a joint trip or something), you could call and see if there is an update. But I wouldn't do this unless you absolutely had to know.

[Ilikekitties]

Yeah, I don't *have* to know....but most of the decisions that I saw came through email.

[yayspace]

7 hours ago, LittleCritter said:

Yeah, I don't *have* to know....but most of the decisions that I saw came through email.

LittleCritter, I'm in agony, too. I've gotten 2 rejections and am convinced I'll get 5 more. HALP.

[Ilikekitties]

Oh God I know. I'm going insane. Especially because people I know are getting into Ivies.

Edited February 18, 2016 by LittleCritter

[Ilikekitties]

GAHHHHH  MORE PEOPLE ARE LISTING SCHOOLS THAT I APPLIED TO. WHHHHYYYYYY JUST REJECT ME FOR MY OWN SANITY!!!!!!

 

In other words, I still haven't heard from other schools!!!

Edited February 18, 2016 by LittleCritter

[yayspace]

Dumb question, but have you checked your status online where you applied? That's how I found one of my rejections. 

[Ilikekitties]

Yeah, I've been logging into my online accounts every day. Nothing.

 

I had a dream last night that I didn't get in anywhere! This is damaging to my self-esteem!

[yayspace]

2 hours ago, LittleCritter said:

Yeah, I've been logging into my online accounts every day. Nothing.

 

I had a dream last night that I didn't get in anywhere! This is damaging to my self-esteem!

Oh, I cycle through this nightmare when I'm awake. I go back and forth in my daydreams: imagining myself driving triumphantly away from Chicago, as I've been accepted to my top choice or any of the other 4 schools I applied to... then I plunge into nightmare where I have to tell my friends and family that I was rejected by 7 schools. My anxiety is so high, I wouldn't be surprised if I develop an ulcer. FUN.

[Ilikekitties]

I know. I feel like I'm gonna vomit.

[Myrk]

If it helps, I'm currently on 2/5 - 2 rejections, 3 I've not heard back from yet. One of the rejections was my second choice, one was my last choice. I'm starting to wish I'd applied to the MA program at my first choice institution too :/ 

[ChrisTOEFert]

On 19/02/2016 at 1:29 PM, Peanut said:

Yeah, I've been logging into my online accounts every day. Nothing.

 

I had a dream last night that I didn't get in anywhere! This is damaging to my self-esteem!

 

On 19/02/2016 at 3:38 PM, PattiJeane said:

Oh, I cycle through this nightmare when I'm awake. I go back and forth in my daydreams: imagining myself driving triumphantly away from Chicago, as I've been accepted to my top choice or any of the other 4 schools I applied to... then I plunge into nightmare where I have to tell my friends and family that I was rejected by 7 schools. My anxiety is so high, I wouldn't be surprised if I develop an ulcer. FUN.

You both need to realize that grad school is not the be all end all you are making it out to be.  Yes, it is important if you want to be a part of academia, and yes, it can help you get a job later on.  However, you shouldn't make yourself sick over it.  It really isn't that glorious, I promise.  You do a lot of homework, you read a lot, study a lot and question everything you ever do a dozen times.  Obviously you are both very interested in getting in, but always remember that if you don't, there is always next year, or you could work your way up at a lab/institution from an entry level position.  

Just relax.  I was rejected outright from my 3 choices during my first run at a Master's.  I got rejected from my Alma Mater AGAIN in round 2, while getting in to 3 other programs on my second try.  However, I was a very low pick and was accepted to a decent program, a pretty good program, and a cash grab program in the UK.  Now, after slugging out my MSc for a year and a bit now, have been (so far) accepted to everywhere I have applied including very high programs that are extremely competitive where they only take 15 people once every 3 years from the entire world.  Except for one program in Germany that I completely bombed the interview on...but hey, that was 6-7 months ago and it didn't hurt me in the least.  You win a few and lose a lot. 

So, stay persistent, but never let rejections hurt your self esteem.  Your identity should never be entwined with your admission or rejection from a graduate program in which there are SOOOOO many factors far outside of your control. Depending on the year you apply, you would either be a shoe-in or outright rejected.  

Edited February 22, 2016 by ChrisTOEFert

[yayspace]

25 minutes ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

 

You both need to realize that grad school is not the be all end all you are making it out to be.  Yes, it is important if you want to be a part of academia, and yes, it can help you get a job later on.  However, you shouldn't make yourself sick over it.  It really isn't that glorious, I promise.  You do a lot of homework, you read a lot, study a lot and question everything you ever do a dozen times.  Obviously you are both very interested in getting in, but always remember that if you don't, there is always next year, or you could work your way up at a lab/institution from an entry level position.  

Just relax.  I was rejected outright from my 3 choices during my first run at a Master's.  I got rejected from my Alma Mater AGAIN in round 2, while getting in to 3 other programs on my second try.  However, I was a very low pick and was accepted to a decent program, a pretty good program, and a cash grab program in the UK.  Now, after slugging out my MSc for a year and a bit now, have been (so far) accepted to everywhere I have applied including very high programs that are extremely competitive where they only take 15 people once every 3 years from the entire world.  Except for one program in Germany that I completely bombed the interview on...but hey, that was 6-7 months ago and it didn't hurt me in the least.  You win a few and lose a lot. 

So, stay persistent, but never let rejections hurt your self esteem.  Your identity should never be entwined with your admission or rejection from a graduate program in which there are SOOOOO many factors far outside of your control. Depending on the year you apply, you would either be a shoe-in or outright rejected.  

You are completely right, however it is very difficult for me to "just relax." Coming to this discussion forum and venting is what helps me. Different people react differently to rejections and logically I know you are right - it doesn't reflect on my identity as a writer. But I won't apologize for being anxious about it. Part of working through my emotions to logic is coming here and posting and reading other posts. 

And I know very well that a PhD program will not be "glorious" - that's not why I applied. I applied because I want to do a lot of homework, read a lot, etc. Just because I want it badly doesn't mean I'm delusional. Also, please don't assume that you know about my circumstances and what is or is not possible for me if I get rejected. 

I appreciate your advice and that you shared your experiences, however you are writing from the viewpoint of someone who has been accepted to schools, whereas I have not. Our situations are different and our thoughts/feelings are equally valid.

[ChrisTOEFert]

2 minutes ago, PattiJeane said:

You are completely right, however it is very difficult for me to "just relax." Coming to this discussion forum and venting is what helps me. Different people react differently to rejections and logically I know you are right - it doesn't reflect on my identity as a writer. But I won't apologize for being anxious about it. Part of working through my emotions to logic is coming here and posting and reading other posts. 

And I know very well that a PhD program will not be "glorious" - that's not why I applied. I applied because I want to do a lot of homework, read a lot, etc. Just because I want it badly doesn't mean I'm delusional. Also, please don't assume that you know about my circumstances and what is or is not possible for me if I get rejected. 

I appreciate your advice and that you shared your experiences, however you are writing from the viewpoint of someone who has been accepted to schools, whereas I have not. Our situations are different and our thoughts/feelings are equally valid.

Wow...okay.  I think you may have misconstrued my intentions.  Where did I 1) call you delusional?, 2) say that I know about your circumstances and life possibilities outside of grad school apart from (quite casually, I thought) saying there is always a chance next year or at some point in the future?  I have been in your shoes, I WAS rejected everywhere in the past.  I'm not trying to undermine your feelings, as it is a very confusing and frustrating time in your life, but making yourself sick over it (I think you mentioned an ulcer?) isn't going to do anything but compound the stress.

[yayspace]

8 minutes ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

Wow...okay.  I think you may have misconstrued my intentions.  Where did I 1) call you delusional?, 2) say that I know about your circumstances and life possibilities outside of grad school apart from (quite casually, I thought) saying there is always a chance next year or at some point in the future?  I have been in your shoes, I WAS rejected everywhere in the past.  I'm not trying to undermine your feelings, as it is a very confusing and frustrating time in your life, but making yourself sick over it (I think you mentioned an ulcer?) isn't going to do anything but compound the stress.

I understand your intentions were to help put things in perspective, which I appreciate. You didn't call me delusional outright. I was inferring this from your comment about what grad school is really like, in your experience and your statement about it not being glorious. I also inferred from your comment about trying again next year/getting a job in the field, etc. that you are assuming you know something about my current life situation. 

In other words, you may have written a well-intentioned comment, but came off a little like you were telling me how I should be reacting, telling me my emotions are not valid responses, etc. Hence my response. 

[ChrisTOEFert]

3 minutes ago, PattiJeane said:

I understand your intentions were to help put things in perspective, which I appreciate. You didn't call me delusional outright. I was inferring this from your comment about what grad school is really like, in your experience and your statement about it not being glorious. I also inferred from your comment about trying again next year/getting a job in the field, etc. that you are assuming you know something about my current life situation. 

In other words, you may have written a well-intentioned comment, but came off a little like you were telling me how I should be reacting, telling me my emotions are not valid responses, etc. Hence my response. 

I'm still really confused how you came to that conclusion, so I'm just going to leave one of my previous statements here....good luck with everything and stay healthy.

1 hour ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

So, stay persistent, but never let rejections hurt your self esteem.  Your identity should never be entwined with your admission or rejection from a graduate program in which there are SOOOOO many factors far outside of your control.

 

[yayspace]

18 minutes ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

I'm still really confused how you came to that conclusion, so I'm just going to leave one of my previous statements here....good luck with everything and stay healthy.

 

Eating my vegetables as I type! Exercise has been helpful too as a mood booster and way to distract myself. Thanks for the good luck message.

[aebh615]

2 hours ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

You both need to realize that grad school is not the be all end all you are making it out to be.  Yes, it is important if you want to be a part of academia, and yes, it can help you get a job later on.  However, you shouldn't make yourself sick over it.  It really isn't that glorious, I promise.  You do a lot of homework, you read a lot, study a lot and question everything you ever do a dozen times.  Obviously you are both very interested in getting in, but always remember that if you don't, there is always next year, or you could work your way up at a lab/institution from an entry level position.  

Just relax.  I was rejected outright from my 3 choices during my first run at a Master's.  I got rejected from my Alma Mater AGAIN in round 2, while getting in to 3 other programs on my second try.  However, I was a very low pick and was accepted to a decent program, a pretty good program, and a cash grab program in the UK.  Now, after slugging out my MSc for a year and a bit now, have been (so far) accepted to everywhere I have applied including very high programs that are extremely competitive where they only take 15 people once every 3 years from the entire world.  Except for one program in Germany that I completely bombed the interview on...but hey, that was 6-7 months ago and it didn't hurt me in the least.  You win a few and lose a lot. 

So, stay persistent, but never let rejections hurt your self esteem.  Your identity should never be entwined with your admission or rejection from a graduate program in which there are SOOOOO many factors far outside of your control. Depending on the year you apply, you would either be a shoe-in or outright rejected.  

I think this is one of the most helpful posts I've seen here. Thank you for this perspective!

[Ilikekitties]

Still waiting on 8 programs!

[yayspace]

On 2/22/2016 at 2:02 PM, PattiJeane said:

Eating my vegetables as I type! Exercise has been helpful too as a mood booster and way to distract myself. Thanks for the good luck message.

I love that I got down voted for this response. LOL. Wow.