Politics of Accepting an Offer?

[solomonski]

Hi all. I'm hoping to get a little bit of insight into the process of accepting offers from grad schools. My main question is: is it normal to keep a school waiting for another two weeks or so after visiting? I've got a visit to my top choice school shortly (School A) and if everything goes well there, I'd love to accept right away. However, I had already bought tickets to visit School B - also a very good school and a program I want to give a fair shot - about two weeks later. If (assuming the visit works out) I delay accepting at School A for those two weeks, is that a normal thing? I don't want to give School A the impression I'm not into them. If it turns out I do want to accept at School A, would it be useful to send them an email saying "I'm very interested, will likely accept, but I want to be fair to this other program," or is that just a total faux pas somehow? Also, is there any RISK that is associated with waiting like that? For instance, an offer changing because of a bunch of other people accepting or whatever? Just want a little insight to see me through this. 

Edited February 15, 2016 by solomonski

[firstsummerinthesierras]

Most schools anticipate that you will want to survey your options; maybe you will fall in love with one city over another, or you haven't heard back about funding, fellowships, and TAships and so can't make a decision. It might also be prudent to let school A know that you have been accepted to school B and have X offer to go there—oftentimes a school may offer you a little more if it is worried about losing you. Most schools are now moving to a system of only extending as many offers as they can fund and having longer wait lists because programs are so competitive that they can't really estimate anymore how many prospectives might accept an offer in a given year. The only reason I would accept an offer sooner rather than later is to ease the suffering of those on your other programs' wait lists.  Right now I am "very high" on my top choice school's wait list and haven't heard back from anywhere else yet. I would love to hear back about being accepted or the class filling up sooner rather than later.

[solomonski]

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, letting others move in off the waitlist is also a major factor of this whole thing. So, when you say that it might be prudent to let School A know I have the School B offer, do you think that's the kind of thing that would be well-conveyed by an email saying something like "hey, I'm very impressed, but I've got this offer from School B and want to be fair to them, so I'm waiting until after I visit them to make anything official," or better handled in some other way? 

[ProfLorax]

Solomonski: Take as much time as you need (well, until April 15). This is a big decision, and don't let worries about politics or wait lists force you to rush. Once you are 100% sure you don't want to attend a program, let them know-- there's no reason to wait. But until you know, take your time to really process the pros and cons of each program. Heck, for most schools, visiting day hasn't occurred yet. Unless the DGS inquires on when you will have an answer, you don't owe them an explanation of why you haven't accepted their offer yet. Sure, if you haven't chosen by April 1, you could email and let the DGS know what factors are preventing you from saying "YES!" But really, this is your time. Take it! DGS's are familiar with the process and expect students to wait until they receive all their offers, visit all the admitted schools, and weighed all the risks and rewards of the options. 

[TakeruK]

I second ProfLorax. It's easy to start going down a rabbit hole of what-ifs and politics, but for most cases it's quite simple. And, don't forget, the schools go through this every single year with a whole bunch of people, so you can be sure that you're thinking about the situation a lot more than they are thinking about you.

Some rules of thumb:

1. Offers are valid as long as the letter says they are valid (i.e. usually April 15). You should not feel like you need to respond sooner if you are not ready.

2. It's okay to wait to make a decision until you have 100% of the information you need. For example, it is a good idea to wait to decide on School A until you visit School B. You don't have to tell School A anything. They might check in with you every couple of weeks and you can just say that you are waiting until you finish your visits (by X date) before you make your decision.

3. While you should take your time until you get 100% of the information, when you do have enough information to make a certain decision, do it. This probably means you will be making your "decline" decisions earlier than your final acceptance. For example, if by March 1, you have visited 3 schools and you already know one of those 3 is not going to be one of your choices, go ahead and decline them right away. No need to wait until you have accepted an offer before you start declining.

[firstsummerinthesierras]

2 hours ago, solomonski said:

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, letting others move in off the waitlist is also a major factor of this whole thing. So, when you say that it might be prudent to let School A know I have the School B offer, do you think that's the kind of thing that would be well-conveyed by an email saying something like "hey, I'm very impressed, but I've got this offer from School B and want to be fair to them, so I'm waiting until after I visit them to make anything official," or better handled in some other way? 

I guess it sort of only makes sense if school B (or C, etc) offers you more money than school A. But yeah I don't think any school expects you to accept right away.

[rising_star]

3 hours ago, solomonski said:

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, letting others move in off the waitlist is also a major factor of this whole thing. So, when you say that it might be prudent to let School A know I have the School B offer, do you think that's the kind of thing that would be well-conveyed by an email saying something like "hey, I'm very impressed, but I've got this offer from School B and want to be fair to them, so I'm waiting until after I visit them to make anything official," or better handled in some other way? 

1) Your main concern should be yourself. Don't think too much about people on the waitlist because this is a major life decision. 

2) I wouldn't send School A an email with the text you have above. If they ask, tell them you're still considering your options. You do NOT need to provide them with any details. (For reference, in some cases, I waited over a month after visiting before deciding to turn down an offer because that's how long it took me to be 100% certain that I didn't want to accept that offer. No one gave me a hard time about it. I still talk to most of those POIs at conferences.)

3) If you want to negotiate funding, it's generally wiser to start that conversation over the phone, rather than in an email. There's lots of threads on the forum about doing this.

[NowMoreSerious]

For this period, you are in a position of power.  And you can and should take all the time you need to make your decision.  

You also have to take into account funding here.  Most all grad programs have some type of extra sweetener money meant to entice people into accepting, even beyond fellowships. 

Which brings me to fellowships.  Lets say you got accepted to schools A and B.  Most schools have some kind of nice fellowship which offers you at least 1 non-TA year if not more, like some kind of Chancellor's fellowship.  It might happen that you aren't the recipient of it...YET.  

So follow me here.  Lets say school A is your first choice and you are pretty sure you want to go there.  They might have already offered that chancellor's fellowship to somebody.  But that student might end up going to Harvard or Yale, as it often happens.  When that student declines the offer, which will likely happen in April, the school might then offer you that Chancellor's fellowship to get you to accept.  So even if you believe you will go somewhere, you can only gain from waiting.  

Ok, now scenario 2, you WERE offered that Chancellor's fellowship. This means you are like their mega first choice. Hell, even more reason to wait. They might find an extra 2k-5k for you in the form of summer funding, or even just in addition to your first year fellowship.

The moral of the story is, (not to repeat myself, but) you have everything to gain from waiting, especially if the schools are comparable in rank or prestige.  in your case so far, you want to make Duke or Santa Cruz tremble a bit.  

I know it might sometimes be difficult for us English majors to have this mindset.  And if you are anything like me, you are probably just excited at the prospect of graduate school and are maybe just happy to have been accepted, but believe me, turn the screws on these schools right now.  

That being said, there's nothing wrong with expressing excitement and interest in their programs in your emails to them.  I'm in no way saying you should give any of the schools the impression you don't want to be there.  Be friendly and excited in emails, but don't tip your hand to them.  

 

[CarolineNC]

I'd say visit the schools but make your decisions as quickly as you can afterward. Ask yourself how likely it is you're going to choose one of your options over another. 

Last year when I applied, I quickly turned down programs (within like two days of being accepted) since I knew I had 3 top options and definitely wouldn't be attending the others. The programs seemed very appreciative to get such a quick reply, and of course I highlighted how honored I was to be accepted, emphasized that now the next lucky applicant could get some good news, etc. etc. so as not to be insulting. I narrowed it down to 2 programs and visited both and I had AGONIZED over which school to pick for months. They were pretty evenly matched. So, before I even flew back from visiting the second school, I said, well fuck it. I'm going to make my decision now instead of going back and forth until the deadline and I did, and I notified my choice that I would be accepting before I had even left the other school's visit. It really made me feel more peaceful. 

 

Did I make the right choice? I have no idea. I'll never know. But I did lessen the agonizing and that paid off, and I lessened the anxiety of people on waitlists, so that was a good thing IMO. 

Edited February 15, 2016 by CarolineNC

[lyonessrampant]

Yeah, I'd say notify School C that you're honored but are considering other offers.  For School A and B, visit both and then decide.  If you really want School A, but B offers you more money, better summer funding, better fees remission, better insurance, relocation expenses, etc., etc., than you're in a position to bargain with A.  You must do so tactfully (I'm honored to have been accepted and really would prefer to attend A, but B, which is a program I very much admire, has offered me (X perqs).  Is there any way you might be able to offer some kind of top-off funds . . . ) but it is normal to negotiate.  Best to get practice now because the need to negotiate doesn't go away.  Good luck on your decision.

[tawodi]

On February 15, 2016 at 3:47 PM, rising_star said:

3) If you want to negotiate funding, it's generally wiser to start that conversation over the phone, rather than in an email. There's lots of threads on the forum about doing this.

Where are some of these threads about how to negotiate? I have an amazingly funded offer from an incredible school but I also have an offer from a program that is really enticing but the funding isn't nearly as good although they did say to let them know about other offers so that they could stay competitive. This just seems like an awkward conversation to start. 

On February 15, 2016 at 4:13 PM, NowMoreSerious said:

For this period, you are in a position of power.  And you can and should take all the time you need to make your decision.  

You also have to take into account funding here.  Most all grad programs have some type of extra sweetener money meant to entice people into accepting, even beyond fellowships. 

Which brings me to fellowships.  Lets say you got accepted to schools A and B.  Most schools have some kind of nice fellowship which offers you at least 1 non-TA year if not more, like some kind of Chancellor's fellowship.  It might happen that you aren't the recipient of it...YET.  

So follow me here.  Lets say school A is your first choice and you are pretty sure you want to go there.  They might have already offered that chancellor's fellowship to somebody.  But that student might end up going to Harvard or Yale, as it often happens.  When that student declines the offer, which will likely happen in April, the school might then offer you that Chancellor's fellowship to get you to accept.  So even if you believe you will go somewhere, you can only gain from waiting.  

Ok, now scenario 2, you WERE offered that Chancellor's fellowship. This means you are like their mega first choice. Hell, even more reason to wait. They might find an extra 2k-5k for you in the form of summer funding, or even just in addition to your first year fellowship.

The moral of the story is, (not to repeat myself, but) you have everything to gain from waiting, especially if the schools are comparable in rank or prestige.  in your case so far, you want to make Duke or Santa Cruz tremble a bit.  

I know it might sometimes be difficult for us English majors to have this mindset.  And if you are anything like me, you are probably just excited at the prospect of graduate school and are maybe just happy to have been accepted, but believe me, turn the screws on these schools right now.  

That being said, there's nothing wrong with expressing excitement and interest in their programs in your emails to them.  I'm in no way saying you should give any of the schools the impression you don't want to be there.  Be friendly and excited in emails, but don't tip your hand to them.  

This was really helpful. Thank you for laying it out so clearly. 

[HumanCylinder]

On 2/15/2016 at 2:13 PM, NowMoreSerious said:

Which brings me to fellowships.  Lets say you got accepted to schools A and B.  Most schools have some kind of nice fellowship which offers you at least 1 non-TA year if not more, like some kind of Chancellor's fellowship.  It might happen that you aren't the recipient of it...YET.  

So follow me here.  Lets say school A is your first choice and you are pretty sure you want to go there.  They might have already offered that chancellor's fellowship to somebody.  But that student might end up going to Harvard or Yale, as it often happens.  When that student declines the offer, which will likely happen in April, the school might then offer you that Chancellor's fellowship to get you to accept.  So even if you believe you will go somewhere, you can only gain from waiting. 

This just happened to me.  I remember reading this post a while back and thinking, "That sounds really reasonable; I hope it's true."  Good luck to everyone in the decision-making phase!

[NowMoreSerious]

On March 11, 2016 at 7:46 AM, HumanCylinder said:

This just happened to me.  I remember reading this post a while back and thinking, "That sounds really reasonable; I hope it's true."  Good luck to everyone in the decision-making phase!

Congrats!  I give people the same advice every year. I know for many students it's all kind of just exciting and they want to just accept and be done with it ASAP, but it's important to play the game here.