Outtakes and bloopers of an application cycle

[EmmaJava]

With the smoke clearing somewhat, I've had a little more time to reflect on exactly what has transpired since oh, say, Thanksgiving.  And to my surprise, I have recently realized that all the heaviness of experience that is applying to PhD programs in English is actually laced with a solid dose of ironic humor - for me, anyway, and I hope this is the case for others. Here are some things I only just realized:

- I completely forgot to apply to UMD. This, after openly soliciting the UMD-ers here and even at the encouragement of the UMD-ers here I literally wrote to, and got a favorable reply from, Professor Gerard Passannante. Unbelievable. I used to see this kind of anecdote posted on these boards and think, "gah, what a mess that applicant must be, I can't imagine being so disorganized." Yet, here I am. I totally forgot to make that application, it's that simple.

 

- I completely forgot to apply to Indiana. I am using three Indiana scholars prominently in my work and am likely to have a peer-reviewed success based on their theory, and yet, I did not complete this application. C.f. UMD, above.

 

- I was rejected by a program in which one of my three recommenders was the acting DGS. Yep, that happened.

 

- I took the GRE subject test and completely fucking bombed it - all the way bombed it. Like, I would have scored higher by choosing C for every answer. The only reason I took this test was to apply to UC-SB.  And I'm on their waitlist.

 

- I have just checked it out, and yes, what I'm about to tell you is truth: in my acceptances and waitlists, I dispensed entirely with the vaunted "fit paragraph" in my SOP. Some TGC-ers may remember my post during application season in which I claimed to go full-on research-focus in my SOP, and not try to read the minds of ad-coms in terms of fitting in. Well, this was a half-truth, and anywhere that I did make an attempt to claim good fit, I failed. I even had a mentor tell me that my OSU SOP was "well pitched" and that I had "described a perfect fit."  OSU was my first rejection and I haven't had anyone accept me except those who never saw a fit paragraph.  And...between waitlists and acceptances, that's 6 schools.

Sooooo...anyone else with some great outtakes or bloopers? The idea is to lighten things up, in the spirit of getting your mind off the March lull, and to laugh.  Fire away.

[EmmaJava]

And oh yes these:

- I could not for the life of me complete the ASU application on account of having no earthly idea how to navigate their online system;

and,

- After UC Berkeley and Santa Barbara, I abandoned all other UC applications on account of what a complete nightmare.

[HumanCylinder]

Half way through my application due dates, I noticed I had a subject-verb agreement grammar problem I somehow never caught and I was mortified. 

Also, I'm kind of interested to see how this fit paragraph/naming professors thing plays out.  I was probably overly concerned about it when I was working on the SOP, and I hedged my bets by naming profs in about half of my statements.  For the two schools I got fully funded offers from, I did not mention specific professors in the SOP, and just had one rather broad sentence in place of the fit paragraph I developed for other schools.

[Villain Elle]

I heart this thread.

In one of my SOPs, I forgot to update the document and named the wrong university. Soooo embarrassing! Thank goodness they were kind enough not to hold it against me.

In all of my applications except the final one (when I finally caught the mistake), I accidentally listed the wrong undergrad GPA. 

 

[klader]

Love this idea!

I applied to funded MA programs so it may be different, but I also didn't directly mention profs. In fact, I generally just had one or two paragraphs at the end saying why I appreciated a school's program (not necessary a pitch for fit).

I did "cite" people in my SOP, though, and while my mentor and I knew my particular approach could either go really really well or completely backfire, I took the chance. I had like 3 versions of my SOP that I sent off to 7 schools. I got into 5 as a result, so I guess it worked (or I just lucked out).

Also, my biggest blooper/mistake/regret is that I decided to finish up all my applications in Decemeber while finishing my undergraduate thesis and another capstone project. I basically submitted the thesis the day before grades were due, MSU's application the day it was due, and then rushed to finish the other 6 before all my profs went on break and would then be unavailable to submit their letters (they had them written but could only submit to certain schools after I finished the app). I therefore don't feel like I polished my drafts as thoroughly as I wanted to, but I also realize that this also prevented me from over thinking and double guessing everything. 

There was a 5 day period where I literally don't think I smiled once, but when they were all submitted, I felt better and more relieved than I had ever felt in my life.

Additionally, I caught a reaalllly bad grammatical error in one school's assistantship letter. We're talking bad to the point that the sentence was incomprehensible (I was editing the sentence and I guess I forgot to add a conjuction). I was waitlisted for funding at that place, and a part of me wonders if that mistake is why (even though I'm sure it's just because there were better candidates).

Edited March 6, 2016 by klader

[DaniB23]

After everything I realized that my safety school, the place I said (repeatedly) that if I only got in there I'd probably reapply next year and not go, is actually the best fit for me, pretty much across the board, including funding.

That's probably my biggest blooper.

[Dr. Old Bill]

My initial reaction when I was accepted into the M.A. program at UMD last year was literally an eyeroll. I initially thought something akin to "gee thanks, toss me a crumb when I want the whole loaf..." I hadn't applied to any M.A. programs -- only Ph.D. programs -- so when I saw the M.A. acceptance, I just figured it was a consolation prize, and also suspected it was offered to every rejected Ph.D. applicant.

It turned out, of course, that I love UMD -- love its intellectual environment and culture, love its collegiality, and most importantly, love its fit for me. Even the location was perfect, given that my wife and I were also already on the distant outskirts of D.C. It also turned out that, while I still feel confident that I could have excelled in a Ph.D. program, I can't deny that going through the M.A. first is doing some great things for me, and will surely make for less of a learning curve when (when!) I get into a Ph.D. program next year.

So my blooper was thinking a major boon was a major blow-off. Glad I figured out the truth of the situation before I rejected the offer out of pure ennui...

[mk-8]

I applied to my top two schools first, before I caught an error in my SOP. I used "compliment" instead of "complement." Luckily, I was able to re-upload the documents so HOPEFULLY they didn't see. I've been accepted to one of the programs, anyway. 

In regards to the fit/name dropping paragraph, I really did not want include a name. When I showed my statement to my mentor, she told me it was good but I needed to mention someone. I told her I was absolutely terrified to, but she was so firm that I conceded. I only applied to four schools, and I only added the names to three of four apps. I've been accepted to 2 (both SOPs with names) so far, and I'm waiting on the last two!

[EmmaJava]

2 hours ago, Wyatt's Terps said:

...when (when!)...

Exactly. 

[lesabendio]

When I was writing the early drafts of my SOP, I hadn't decided on a title for my writing sample yet, so I just wrote in the placeholder title "TBD" as I went along describing how my sample related to my research interests.  Despite reading over and revising my SOP dozens of times, I failed to notice that I hadn't changed the placeholder title to the actual title until after I submitted my first 4 applications. And those first 4 were my top choices, too... Fortunately I fixed it in time for my last 2 applications, which, coincidentally or not, ended up landing me an acceptance and a waitlist.

I applied to my alma mater's PhD program despite warnings from my LOR writers that they rarely admit former undergrads. I received a rejection email 3 weeks later. $100 down the drain. Plus! Shortly after applying, the program coordinator emailed me that they hadn't received my transcripts. I was like, what how? I paid the registrar's outsourced transcript ordering service $25 to send it literally 100 yards to the English department. There's no way they could screw that up. The coordinator said that unless she receives my transcripts in 3 days, they won't consider my application. So I had to take a day off work, drive 2 hours down to my alma mater, buy transcripts from the registrar's office, and then walk them over myself to the English department. Only to be rejected a week later. What a complete waste of time and money. The registrar wouldn't even refund my $25 for the ordering service's mistake.

[victoriansimpkins]

So, this isn't really *my* blooper, but I have had the worst application process this year. (Ok, probably not THE worst, but bad/stressful/frustrating for my first time through.) It seems that literally each of my schools that I applied to have either not received a transcript, or a recommendation letter, or they've lost something. Has this happened to anyone else? I'm TERRIFIED they're going to hold these things against me, even though everything on my end was sent on time, and my recommenders promise they've sent everything on time and they have time/date stamps saying they did.

I'm just going to go lay down now. 

[BooksCoffeeBeards]

On 3/6/2016 at 2:13 AM, Villain Elle said:

In one of my SOPs, I forgot to update the document and named the wrong university. Soooo embarrassing! Thank goodness they were kind enough not to hold it against me.

 

I did this with my writing sample, in a way - I had a running header with the wrong school in it for 2 of my applications. D'oh.

[Little Earthquakes]

I'm actually a little surprised that I didn't make as many mistakes as I was expecting. It really helped to just learn from everyone else, but here's what I did:

When I took the GRE 3 years ago prior to my MA, I didn't study at all and scored decently on  the Verbal. I was convinced that if I spent more time preparing, I could get a near perfect score. My score went up 1 point. I wasted hours studying for the GRE that could have been used towards researching programs more substantially. 

I spelled "multitudinous" as "multudinous" in at least 9 of my statements of purpose. I caught it at the very end of my app season in January when I was submitting my final round. That error really stuck out to me because I think I must have been convinced I was spelling it right in spite of the squiggly lines that came up on Word.  

I applied to UC Santa Cruz for English/American Lit without realizing that they were Comparative Literature program. Apart from wasting $90, I really didn't care when the rejection came in last week.

In my U of Washington statement, I shortened the school's name to "UWA" without realizing the standard is "UW." Since I got accepted into the program, I guess they didn't hold it against me but I was convinced that they would.

[Yukon]

In one of my applications, I said my interests were "composition pedagogy, digital media studies, digital media studies..." Luckily, they accepted me still! One of my professors said they probably just thought I was really enthusiastic about digital media studies ha.

[BooksCoffeeBeards]

24 minutes ago, Yukon said:

In one of my applications, I said my interests were "composition pedagogy, digital media studies, digital media studies..." Luckily, they accepted me still! One of my professors said they probably just thought I was really enthusiastic about digital media studies ha.

Along the same lines, I managed to catch the phrase "digital humans" instead of "digital humanities" in my SOP before I submitted it to any programs.

That would have been something.

"What the hell - does this guy wanna study Blade Runner or something?"

[sarabethke]

18 hours ago, Little Earthquakes said:

I applied to UC Santa Cruz for English/American Lit without realizing that they were Comparative Literature program. Apart from wasting $90, I really didn't care when the rejection came in last week.

I will just say this--you are not the only one! I did that two years ago, and I've noticed a lot of people mentioning that this round lol. And they really don't go out of their way to make that clear.

[Little Earthquakes]

2 hours ago, sarabethke said:

I will just say this--you are not the only one! I did that two years ago, and I've noticed a lot of people mentioning that this round lol. And they really don't go out of their way to make that clear.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! They really need to spell it out more clearly on their application website. It doesn't suggest anything that sets it up as a comparative literature program until you start digging through their departmental requirements more closely. 

[sarabethke]

3 hours ago, Little Earthquakes said:

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! They really need to spell it out more clearly on their application website. It doesn't suggest anything that sets it up as a comparative literature program until you start digging through their departmental requirements more closely. 

Exactly

[1ady1azarus]

I love this thread. It's so nice to collectively stew in embarrassments. Application season was pretty much the worst portion of my life to date, and as soon as it was over I had a full month of just straight up grad school apathy in which I barely touched my computer. After the first result was in -- a rejection, naturally -- I decided to look at my application materials with fresh eyes. 

One SoP had three typos. I had read it 5 times before submitting (5 minutes before the deadline) and had somehow missed them every single time. Another had a blatant grammatical error. And I was mortified to find out that I had spelled the name of a POI incorrectly in another. The week that followed these discoveries was a very bad week indeed.

[jillcicle]

1. Took the GRE Lit, having guzzled a cup of coffee on the way there (I know you aren't supposed to, but it was that or caffeine withdrawals) and didn't know there were bathroom breaks allowed. Almost peed my pants - like was actually debating the merits of leaving the test early vs just peeing myself and getting a better score - when, to my shock, someone got up and went to the bathroom. Crisis narrowly averted, half the test done with mad fidgeting and super-crossed legs. Not my proudest moment.
2. Submitted my Columbia application at 12:14 am EST when the deadline was midnight, due to major procrastination and underestimating upload times.
3. When I submitted my Oxford app, their payment system was down, so they had a temporary voucher and you were supposed to pay later. 2 weeks later, I checked my email and saw a 4 day old message telling me there were only 24 hours left to pay. I paid and sent them a panicky message that they answered somewhat noncommittally - but I think, think, they were still going to consider the application. Still very possible that money was straight down the drain.

With all that, I'm too afraid to check my documents for typos 

[EmmaJava]

1 hour ago, jillcicle said:

1.  
2. Submitted my Columbia application at 12:14 am EST when the deadline was midnight, due to major procrastination and underestimating upload times.

And, if I am reading your signature correctly, you got in! Isn't that wild? Good work.

[pro Augustis]

I hope no one minds someone from the Classics/History realm wandering in here, but this thread is quite enjoyable, and I have had a few sizable bloopers this application season:

1. When I wrote my statements of purpose, I worked off of a template but made revisions both in the last paragraph and in a few other places for each school. To make it easier to locate those parts, I bolded everything school specific. Being an idiot, I then sent off the first two applications with the bolding intact. Both schools thankfully let me change what I vaguely called a "formatting error." I got into one of them and haven't heard from the other yet (by now I imagine that means a rejection). 

2. In early January, I got my first email from an admissions committee. Apparently I had forgotten to send one school a writing sample. Two weeks after I sent them one, they accepted me. 

3. This one is less my fault, but it was still awkward. One school did a video interview, and I, again being a fool, declined to test the connection beforehand. As it turned out, I could hear them, but they couldn't hear me. Since it wasn't Skype but some other video service, I didn't realize there was a chat box for several minutes. Once I did, we changed over to actual Skype and everything went fine. They later waitlisted me (though not till after an in-person interview).

Seeing as my two acceptances and my waitlist position all came out of these bloopers, I can only assume that admissions folk view our gaffes as somehow endearing... or at least are a tad more forgiving than we sometimes assume. 

Edited March 18, 2016 by pro Augustis

[savay]

This thread is sooo nice after all this crazy.

Like @jillcicle I also severely underestimated upload times. My first application (submitted ON TIME, but just barely) was then subsequently lost in the tech-ether for two days because, according to the University's tech department, "of system load times." This seems very suspicious for an application system, but, sure. I ended up having to send the saved pdf version to the committee. I was admitted anyway.

Also had to do a skype interview, but in Danish which is not my first research language. At 8 in the morning. I somehow valiantly struggled through it, but in such desperation to actually stay on top of the conversation I was not strategic in my answers at all. When asked about school preferences, I completely side-stepped any attempt at graceful vagueness and told them directly that another institution was my first choice. Only after the interview was over did that answer catch up to me.

My first choice, by some divine happenstance, happened to have such a late deadline that I managed to work out all of the kinks and actually submit a strong application two weeks early. It was via post though, which made me hold my breath the whole time, quite certain that USPS would drastically eff it up. They didn't though. But then, the USB with my language recordings didn't work... Luckily, the department admin was kind enough to accept them via email.

very glad that part is done.

[jillcicle]

15 hours ago, EmmaJava said:

And, if I am reading your signature correctly, you got in! Isn't that wild? Good work.

Haha, yes I did! I still can't quite believe that one, actually. Thank you! 

So far my severe procrastination habits haven't yet caught up to me - I'm sure when there are actually consequences they will be fierce! I made a joke once to my undergrad thesis adviser that the teachers probably talk about me at department meetings as "that girl who has submitted every single paper late." She laughed way too hard, and said "well, we don't phrase it quite that way." Awkward.