Under Pressure

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

All,

I was recently accepted to a program that is pressuring me to decide this week whether or not to accept their offer. If I don't make a decision by then I will forfeit my spot and they will start contacting people on their waitlist.

I've heard back from 5/11 programs. All acceptances, except this is the first program from the top of my list. I don't want to forfeit my spot but I also want to be able to able to consider all my options, especially since I have yet to hear back from most of my top programs. I think it is totally unfair for a school to expect a decision only a WEEK after offering admissions. I know the April 15th deadline is not binding, but even if a school doesn't recognize that date they should still respect their applicants enough to give them enough time to make an informed decision and not force them into a game of chance. (Anyone else had this problem? Seems like it should be illegal). I plan on accepting the offer, while being prepared to retract my acceptance if something more appealing pops up. Not sound ethics, I know, but aside from some guilt on behalf of the waitlistees, I don't feel too bad for playing with the program since they made me feel played with. My real frustration lies with the whole application process, which needs to be fixed somehow so that applicants and programs aren't forced to play chess with each other.

Anyway, my question comes down to this: I know there are no legal consequences to retracting an acceptance, but are there any other consequences? i.e. pissing off the program so much they start a smear campaign or, like, a permanent stain that will affect my whole academic career? Basically I'm trying to determine whether I'm committing the gravest of sins or if this is just something normal that happens all the time. Also, just wanted to rant into the internet. Any advice/ general comments on the situation would be appreciated. Thanks.

[fuzzylogician]

They will not be pleased. You may burn a bridge there, which is inevitable. Now, if you word your email the right way and keep all of your interactions professional (which I'm sure you have every intention of doing!) then I would find it hard to believe that they would start a smear campaign or actively be out to get you. That'd be a bit of an over-reaction to someone retracting an acceptance and wouldn't look good, if they did it. It's also not like you're a famous researcher that it makes a lot of sense to spread rumors about, I assume most everyone doesn't have a clue who you are. So, if someone brings up your name in conversation they may reply with something snarky about how you acted, but (i) it seems unlikely that your name will come up all too often, (ii) they would have to still be actively pissed, so this conversation would have to happen in the relatively near future. If someone brings it up a year from now, that'd just be odd. I'd imagine such a conversation would only happen if one of your letter writers talks to a friend at this school, in which case I would suggest that the best course of action (actually, regardless of anything else, this is a good idea) is to consult with them before you do anything, so they know that you are doing this and they agree that it's the right course of action. In that case, if it somehow does come up in conversation, your recommender can just reply with "yes, you didn't leave him/her much choice with your early deadline, now did you?" and that can be it. At the end of the day you have to do what is right for you, and to me it seems like this school is leaving you no choice other than to accept and later rescind if you need to. 

[sjoh197]

One thing I would think about... although I could be off base, is that I wouldn't necessarily want to be a part of a department with such little flexibility that is already pressuring you from the get-go, on something that you're not particularly comfortable with because it could end poorly for them. 

[kseeful]

Same boat - my top programs haven't given out decisions yet, but the program that has accepted me (excellent research, shitty location - do I really want to give up a social life for 5 years?) let me know that another student is in limbo until my decision is made but 'didn't want to rush me'. I just contacted my POI from my top program and asked if I could hear anything earlier (ohmygod whathaveIdone). Very anxious. Irrationally frightened that offers will be rescinded.

[MathCat]

I don't think it is unreasonable in this case to politely contact the programs you have not yet heard from, saying you have a pressing deadline but are still interested in their program. Of course, only say this if you actually are still interested in their program (otherwise, you should withdraw your application anyway). Just be prepared that some may not give you a reply any earlier. When I was in this situation, I contacted programs and got earlier responses from 3 of them because of it. The rest simply stated "decisions will be available on <date that was much too late to be of any use>".

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Thanks everyone. 

Edited March 18, 2016 by Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Need Coffee in an IV]

Hopefully you will get everything you need soon! I also echo @sjoh197 feelings on the inflexibility and how that may impact you later on. Right now grad school is suppose to be encouraging so you would actually want to go there. If they are pushy now I could see them always being pushy or getting worse. Then again they may have a lot of people asking if they will get off the wait list and thats why they have given you a short deadline. Trust your gut though.

 

 

[Markerz]

Do you know if one week si a HARD deadline? Do you have any PIs your interested in in this program? If so I would ask to speak with them, explain you need more time to thoughroughly examine all your options and start asking quesitons. If you really have only one week to decide this will still be productive towards helping you decide. If they see yoru a serious candidate and they want you they may extend the time. I had a two week deadline. Did this and it turned into a visit in a month and no one has been pressuring me since Im hoping for another two weeks and if htey bring up the time issue again I will tell them but since they just said youll have time and didnt give me any other hard deadline Im just ignoring it till they pressure me again or I come to a decision

[fuzzylogician]

3 hours ago, Need Coffee in an IV said:

Hopefully you will get everything you need soon! I also echo @sjoh197 feelings on the inflexibility and how that may impact you later on. Right now grad school is suppose to be encouraging so you would actually want to go there. If they are pushy now I could see them always being pushy or getting worse. Then again they may have a lot of people asking if they will get off the wait list and thats why they have given you a short deadline. Trust your gut though.

I want to second this. The fact that there is a deadline may not actually be their fault. Especially for not-as-rich state schools, the pressure could be coming from sources outside the department. However, how they handle it and how they behave with you could give you a fairly accurate indication of their operating procedures more generally. If you feel pressured or manipulated now, it may be a symptom of a larger problem. Trust your gut is very good advice. Also, if possible, talking (not writing -- leave no records) to current students about your situation might give you a good idea of whether or not you should worry. 

[Mnera]

On 3/18/2016 at 10:07 AM, MathCat said:

I don't think it is unreasonable in this case to politely contact the programs you have not yet heard from, saying you have a pressing deadline but are still interested in their program. Of course, only say this if you actually are still interested in their program (otherwise, you should withdraw your application anyway). Just be prepared that some may not give you a reply any earlier. When I was in this situation, I contacted programs and got earlier responses from 3 of them because of it. The rest simply stated "decisions will be available on <date that was much too late to be of any use>".

Who should one contact in such a situation? The admission person's email written on the website, someone else?

[fuzzylogician]

1 hour ago, Mnera said:

Who should one contact in such a situation? The admission person's email written on the website, someone else?

If you have been waitlisted or admitted without funding, have you been corresponding with someone at the department about this decision? Who did the notification email come from? If you've been in touch with someone, you email them. Regardless of anything else, you should email someone soon after finding out the decision (assuming that you are interested in this school) to express your interest and to ask about the timeline for decisions. If you've done that, this is the person you contact again. If not, you might contact one of two people: a POI, if you've been in touch with a professor before/during the application process, or else the DGS or anyone else the department website explicitly says you should contact with admissions questions. If you can't find this information online, email the department secretary and ask who to contact.