Family Delima

[shirlynl]

My situation is kind of complicated. I'm from Canada, and just got admitted to NYU's MA program, AND my husband is going to Chicago for MFA, AND I am now pregnant and the due day is the end of June...

Actually the child was not planned but for sure we are happy for his coming. But how could we handle the long distance plus a child? I've asked for a one year deferral on my admission tho, but still worried. Does anyone have any experience about bring a kids to school by all means? I've been literally frustrated for a time.

Thank you soooooo much!

[CBclone]

Disclaimer: I don't have any kids. 

I can't imagine starting my Masters with a 2-month old in the house (let alone, my first child) and moving to NYC. I'm sure others here who do have kids will chime in, but I'd recommend taking at least one year of deferral -- though you may have to re-apply if more than one year. How long is your program? How long is your husband's program? If you can get cheap/free childcare on campus, that might be one thing to consider if available. But I personally don't think I could handle going to class, studying, working (will you be working? How are you funding this?), and feeding and caring for a baby who does not care at all about your sleep schedule (or your schedule, period.)

[shirlynl]

5 hours ago, CBclone said:

Disclaimer: I don't have any kids. 

I can't imagine starting my Masters with a 2-month old in the house (let alone, my first child) and moving to NYC. I'm sure others here who do have kids will chime in, but I'd recommend taking at least one year of deferral -- though you may have to re-apply if more than one year. How long is your program? How long is your husband's program? If you can get cheap/free childcare on campus, that might be one thing to consider if available. But I personally don't think I could handle going to class, studying, working (will you be working? How are you funding this?), and feeding and caring for a baby who does not care at all about your sleep schedule (or your schedule, period.)

Thanks for reply! My program is 1 and half year while my husband's 2 years. I've been browsing all the thread about bring babies to school. And yes I think you are right, it is impossible to carry a two months child to a new city on my own. I'm gonna defer one year for sure.=)

[Citizen of Night Vale]

I don't have any kids, but if I were in your situation, I would defer for a year or reapply again in a year or two. With a child on the way, I would have to put the family's needs before grad school and make sure that my partner is on the same page. Some questions I would ask myself are: Would my husband and I still be able to live apart? How difficult would it be living in different cities with a newborn? How important is it that I attend this Masters program in NYC and he attend this MFA program in Chicago? Instead of living in different cities, would we be able to attend grad school programs in the same city so we can live and care for this child together?

 

[sierra918]

I have two children, ages 4 and 23 months. I cannot imagine starting a graduate program right after either of them were born. Newborns are literally a 24-hour job. You could get childcare, but when the baby is with you, 80% of your time will be preoccupied with the baby, especially if your husband won't be living with you. I am sure your program will understand your wanting to take a year off. It will still be tricky though with a one-year old, but it won't be impossible. Congratulations

[shirlynl]

 

6 hours ago, sierra918 said:

I have two children, ages 4 and 23 months. I cannot imagine starting a graduate program right after either of them were born. Newborns are literally a 24-hour job. You could get childcare, but when the baby is with you, 80% of your time will be preoccupied with the baby, especially if your husband won't be living with you. I am sure your program will understand your wanting to take a year off. It will still be tricky though with a one-year old, but it won't be impossible. Congratulations

Thank you so much for your reply and suggestion! They granted me one year deferral, though I can feel they don't really want to. I think I'm gonna try one semester next year by all means.

[rising_star]

27 minutes ago, shirlynl said:

Thank you so much for your reply and suggestion! They granted me one year deferral, though I can feel they don't really want to. I think I'm gonna try one semester next year by all means.

Honestly, this is probably NOT a good idea. If they didn't want you to have a deferral, they wouldn't have granted you one. Don't try to figure out how they feel about it. The priority is you and your family. Doing even one semester as a single parent in a new city and without the benefit of starting with your cohort will be incredibly hard and potentially not worth it financially or academically. I strongly urge you to take the full year deferral since they've already said you could.

[sierra918]

I agree with rising_star. I wouldn't be able to do it now with a 4 year old and a 2 year old if I didn't have my husband's financial and emotional support. Babies are incredibly time-consuming. Also, neither of mine slept at night (like at all) until they were a couple months old. Take your year and enjoy your time with your baby

[shirlynl]

5 hours ago, rising_star said:

Honestly, this is probably NOT a good idea. If they didn't want you to have a deferral, they wouldn't have granted you one. Don't try to figure out how they feel about it. The priority is you and your family. Doing even one semester as a single parent in a new city and without the benefit of starting with your cohort will be incredibly hard and potentially not worth it financially or academically. I strongly urge you to take the full year deferral since they've already said you could.

Thank you Your words really encourages me! Yes I'm gonna defer that one full year for sure. And my supervisor told me dont feel bad to ask her another reference letter if I'll have to re-apply. Feel so much better now