Informal follow-up mail to the Secretary of admissions. Big mistake?

[jonnyx]

I think I made the mistake of transitioning from formal, professional replies, to casual replies over the course of 2-3 emails. I started using the persons first name as I really didn't know what else to refer to them as. The person in question always used to sign off with a full name and was asking me If I wanted to make a change to a different department . my reply mail went like:

Hey xxxx,

If the program is the same, then yeah, I'm okay with the transition to x department if I still receive the assistantship.

thanks.

Did I come off as discourteous and inconsiderate?

Need your help guys.

[fuzzylogician]

If the assistant continued signing their full name and stayed formal, you should have followed their lead and used similar language. If you have reason to continue to correspond with this person, you might try to find a way to stay more formal. I think the use of their first name is fine, but I probably would have said "Dear XXX" instead of "Hey XXX" and kept the rest more formal, too. That said, I don't think this is a huge problem that should forever haunt your dreams. Just take this as a learning opportunity and in the future try to pay closer attention to the kind of language people use with you in emails. More generally, when in doubt, it's always better to err on the side of too formal than too casual. 

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

Why does it matter? You can't take it back anyway. 

Think if you were in their shoes and you got an e-mail like that. Worst case scenario, you probably wouldn't be offended, but just view the sender as somewhat of an informal person. No harm, no foul.

[another_time]

I dunno what your tone-shift was like (which might be more important), but I think your language is just a bit under the level of formality I prefer...  and by that I mean using the word 'yeah' instead of 'yes' (or nothing at all) and 'hey' instead of 'hi'.  Staff don't tend to care if you call them by first name.  I have heard underclassmen use Ms xxx or Mr. xxx and find it highschoolish.  I do believe I am on the formal side as I find it very hard to transition from calling even my close professors by their first name instead of Dr. xxx, unless they very clearly want me to use their first name (like they change their email signature from Dr. to their first name).

I find dear overly formal, but not objectionable.  I have to say that professional formality is important.  A new staff member at a school I was visiting sent me a series of email replies and requests for information that she could have acquired herself that might as well have been text messages.  I found it really gross.

[Eigen]

I try to mirror how the person addresses me as much as how they sign their name. 

For instance, most of the search committees I've been communicating with start off formal in requests for interviews "Dear Dr. Eigen", and then sign their first name. In responding, I can use the same formality "Dear Dr. XX", and then sign with my first name. Almost always this transitions the next email to me by first name with a more causal tone, and I can respond in kind. 

That said, I did have one chair that no matter how many times I kept the formal address and signed with my first name, always referred to me as Dr. Lastname, and signed her full name. So, even after 10 emails back and forth, that's how I left it- some people are just more formal. 

I highly doubt the lack of formality will have any lasting implications for you (you weren't rude), but as mentioned I'd transition back to a slightly more formal tone next time- there's "professional casual" writing and "I'm writing a friend casual" writing, you went more towards the latter and should move back to the former. 

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

I don't mean to hijack this thread but now I'm curious... if I email a professor and they sign the email with their first name, is it rude to continue to address them as Dr. X? I wasn't sure and wanted to err on the side of caution.

[fuzzylogician]

40 minutes ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I don't mean to hijack this thread but now I'm curious... if I email a professor and they sign the email with their first name, is it rude to continue to address them as Dr. X? I wasn't sure and wanted to err on the side of caution.

Definitely not rude. Some of this also depends on the norms in your field. In mine, everyone is at a first pass "Dear FirstName" (even if you don't know them and they are quite famous) and often after the first email or two "Hi FirstName", but sometimes some people continue writing "Dear XXX" throughout the correspondence. The only people who might write "Dear Dr. LastName" are office administrators or others who aren't linguists. No one (other than students...) would write "Hey XXX" to a professor and probably not to a graduate student either, unless they were also a friend. I know other fields are different, so it's a little difficult to give advice, other than to follow the other person's lead if you're not sure. Staying formal may be a little tone-deaf, especially if you continue doing it despite what the other side might consider obvious hints, but it definitely shouldn't be interpreted as rude. 

[vonham]

6 hours ago, fuzzylogician said:

Definitely not rude. Some of this also depends on the norms in your field. In mine, everyone is at a first pass "Dear FirstName" (even if you don't know them and they are quite famous) and often after the first email or two "Hi FirstName", but sometimes some people continue writing "Dear XXX" throughout the correspondence. The only people who might write "Dear Dr. LastName" are office administrators or others who aren't linguists. No one (other than students...) would write "Hey XXX" to a professor and probably not to a graduate student either, unless they were also a friend. I know other fields are different, so it's a little difficult to give advice, other than to follow the other person's lead if you're not sure. Staying formal may be a little tone-deaf, especially if you continue doing it despite what the other side might consider obvious hints, but it definitely shouldn't be interpreted as rude. 

Oh lordy, I've been way more formal with my emails (and I'm in linguistics). I really hope it didn't come off as weird . I usually start my addressing as Dear Dr/Professor Lastname, but then follow the lead with how the person signs off their name when they reply. If I've met the person and used their first name (because they've told me too; I always start my addressing formally) then I'll address them using their first name on all email correspondence 

[fuzzylogician]

6 hours ago, vonham said:

Oh lordy, I've been way more formal with my emails (and I'm in linguistics). I really hope it didn't come off as weird . I usually start my addressing as Dear Dr/Professor Lastname, but then follow the lead with how the person signs off their name when they reply. If I've met the person and used their first name (because they've told me too; I always start my addressing formally) then I'll address them using their first name on all email correspondence 

I think you're fine, don't worry about it. Especially as a younger student (undergrad or prospective student), formality is perfectly fine; I posted this in Officially Grads for a reason, undergrads who don't know the professor can never go wrong emailing "Dr/Prof LastName". But once you are more advanced, everyone usually uses first names. I've on occasion been told to email e.g. Bob, who is a friend of my advisor's but I didn't know, and found it weird too. I can't remember what I would do (I probably didn't have a consistent policy and just went with what felt less odd in the moment). I am sure either choice would not have caused any problems.

[Cat_Robutt]

I tend to be more formal in email––if someone explicitly tells me how to refer to them, I do so; otherwise, I generally call them Title.Lastname. Then, if they tell me they go by a different nickname/gender pronoun/casual name, I can refer to them as that instead. People get my name wrong all the darn time, and I don't want to be a source of frustration when the first thing this person sees is a name or title they don't like.

[sjoh197]

On 5/11/2016 at 8:59 PM, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I don't mean to hijack this thread but now I'm curious... if I email a professor and they sign the email with their first name, is it rude to continue to address them as Dr. X? I wasn't sure and wanted to err on the side of caution.

My advisor always said that everyone in his group was welcome to call him John. And even after 2 years, I still couldn't bring myself to call him anything other than Dr. Smith.