Get married after you started grad school?

[a fragrant plant]

Most of the PhD students that I know are either in a relationship or married before they went to grad school. Very few of them actually tied the knot during grad school. Is this a norm?

[JohnBom]

Most of the PhD students that I know are either in a relationship or married before they went to grad school. Very few of them actually tied the knot during grad school. Is this a norm?

Hard to say. I know at least three couples that met and got married during grad school. On the flip side, I know a couple that got divorced during grad school.

[socialpsych]

I know at least four who married during grad school too -- I think three were already in a relationship and the fourth met during grad school.

[liszt85]

I married my girl (3 year long distance relationship) right before I came to the US to attend grad school.

[rising_star]

I know several graduate students that have met their future spouse and gotten married during either the MA or PhD.

[jlee306]

I'm engaged and hopefully starting grad school in the fall of '10. We haven't set a date yet b/c we are waiting to find out my grad school destiny. I will get back to you when we decide what we are going to do. But don't hold your breath, lol.

[mudlark]

I met my husband between the third and fourth year of my undergrad, and we got married halfway through my MA. We didn't meet through school.

[a fragrant plant]

I'm engaged and hopefully starting grad school in the fall of '10. We haven't set a date yet b/c we are waiting to find out my grad school destiny. I will get back to you when we decide what we are going to do. But don't hold your breath, lol.

Sigh, I'm in the same situation. Hopefully everything will pan out and my next project is the wedding.

[psycholinguist]

Most of the grad-students I know are at least in a long-term relationship. Some are engaged, and a lot are married.

I am happily single, which is nice since I've been so nomadic in recent years. (Nine addresses in three countries over the last five years. w00t.)

[fuzzylogician]

Most of the grad-students I know are at least in a long-term relationship. Some are engaged, and a lot are married.

I am happily single, which is nice since I've been so nomadic in recent years. (Nine addresses in three countries over the last five years. w00t.)

Yep. Most grad students I know are in committed relationships.

I've had eight addresses in three different continents over the last 27 months, but now that my next 4.5 years are pretty much planned and stationary, I don't see why I couldn't meet someone. Quite a few of the grad students I know met their partner during grad school.

[psycholinguist]

Yep. Most grad students I know are in committed relationships.

I've had eight addresses in three different continents over the last 27 months, but now that my next 4.5 years are pretty much planned and stationary, I don't see why I couldn't meet someone. Quite a few of the grad students I know met their partner during grad school.

I'm so glad you're feeling good about that! I really respect how hard it must have been to leave someone behind.

[fuzzylogician]

I'm so glad you're feeling good about that! I really respect how hard it must have been to leave someone behind.

We tried. We just broke up last week. But the stress it caused me since I left home and until I came back for winter break made it clear that I don't want to do long distance like that. It would have had to be 5 years with 5000 miles between us, and that's not how I want to live. It's hard, but I know I made the right decision not giving up grad school for a relationship. Hopefully next time the timing will be better.

[naptown]

I married my longtime partner a week after defending my MA thesis, then went to work for two years before applying for Ph.D. programs.

Edited January 7, 2010 by naptown

[socialcomm]

My husband and I were married after his first year of his PhD program and in between my two MS programs.

[piccgeek]

I'm getting married while my fiance is in the middle of his phd program, and either after my MA or between my current work and starting an MS, depending on whether or not I get in to the program to which I'm currently applying. I think more than half of the people I've met in grad school are either married or in committed relationships, many (like me) in very-long-distance situations. But I know a lot of happy singles too. I remember being really surprised at the beginning of grad school at how many of my colleagues were married, but I guess it makes sense.

[Smaudge]

My husband deferred entering law school a year so that we could get married and have a brief period normal life before going back to school. All of which made me realize that I wanted nothing more than to go back to school and so now I'm applying to any program in my field within an 1.5 hour radius of his program. Luckily I've got some great options (8 programs total), but it's going to be a nailbiter until we know where I will be.

Mid Febuary, come quickly!!!

It's nice to hear that there are other married people in academia. I had heard that there aren't many married couples in law schools.

[downtownchick]

Does anybody know if your funding gets slashed if, for example, your fiance(e) is not in school and makes a lot more money than you when you get married during grad school? Not saying I see a wedding coming up or something but it's nice to know just in case.

[rising_star]

downtownchick, are you talking about financial aid (loans) or departmental funding? Since income isn't taken into consideration for TA/RA positions, I don't see how getting married could affect that.

[downtownchick]

downtownchick, are you talking about financial aid (loans) or departmental funding? Since income isn't taken into consideration for TA/RA positions, I don't see how getting married could affect that.

Answered my question. Thank you

[eikko]

I wish I could get married to my girlfriend of four years, but if you are a gay married couple and one is not a US citizen, the non-citizen can't get a visa.

Literally. You have to prove that you don't intend to stay permanently to get a visa (except family visas, from which we're excluded). And you can't prove you don't intend to move permanently if you're married to a US citizen.

Sigh.

Edited February 6, 2010 by eikko

[tem11]

I wish I could get married to my girlfriend of four years, but if you are a gay married couple and one is not a US citizen, the non-citizen can't get a visa.

Literally. You have to prove that you don't intend to stay permanently to get a visa (except family visas, from which we're excluded). And you can't prove you don't intend to move permanently if you're married to a US citizen.

Sigh.

I'm so sorry that the US is still so backward in many ways and you have to go through this .

[eikko]

Thanks, that's nice to hear. It's getting better, slowly but surely...

[juror#1]

I met my fiance our freshmen year of undergrad, are both graduating this May, and we are getting married July 10 . He will be following me to wherever I end up for school and looking for jobs within civil engineering.