BS to PhD - feeling overwhelmed

[misshapp]

This spring I finished my B.S. in 3 years (Yay, less student loans!), packed up and moved 9 hours from my undergraduate university and childhood home to start my PhD in Plant Breeding & Genetics three weeks after graduation. I've known I wanted my PhD since the 2nd year of my undergrad, and the sooner the better for me! I know if I take time off to work/just travel/etc. that I will get out of the swing of things and like the freedom/money making it much harder to go back to school. Just my personality!

I'm in my third month now, and I would like some advice on how to deal with this nearly ever present feeling that I'm drowning/stupid. 

Yeah, I'm aware that this feeling is normal. SUPER normal. I did 3 research projects during my undergrad, so this isn't my first time in a research environment either. But of course I have  a LOT more power over my project(s) this time. However, as I've started making decisions towards constructing/executing my research project I feel so much stupider than my co-workers and adviser. The whole age gap isn't helping much (I'm 21, the youngest I've met in the dept that is a PhD student is 25). I don't think they ACTUALLY look down on me for being so young but I can't seem to shake the little voice that says "Wow, people are wondering how the hell someone like you managed to get in here". Or that every little misstep, no matter how understandable, is seen as stupidity. For example, I tried a DNA extraction protocol that was recommended to me by an older/experienced lab technician and it completely flopped (at least for my uses - nextgen sequencers require high quality stuff). I've been sitting here thinking to myself how stupid my adviser must think I am for wasting time on it, and scared to tell this tech his method doesn't live up to my standards! 

So beyond riding it out, how did everyone deal with this "imposter syndrome". I'm committed to my program no doubt and I'll keep plodding along no matter what, it would just be nice to go to bed slightly satisfied with the work I'm doing, you know.

[geographyrocks]

Well, I'm starting my 3rd year, and I still feel like an imposter.  I hear that it never really goes away.  You just have to recognize it for what it is and realize that most people feel like they have no idea what they're doing.  I felt so overwhelmed this past summer that I nearly quit.  I'm still soldiering through, but I did decide that it was in my best interested to quit with a Masters.  I can't handle the lifetime of stress that comes with a PhD and it turns out that my interests are more broad.  Luckily, it's fairly easy to jump over to the Masters track at my institution. 

I also went from my BS to a PhD program.  I felt so special that I bypassed all of that Masters work, and I was certain I could figure everything out and even graduate early.  The trick is that the Masters actually prepares you for the difficulty of a PhD.  Without that groundwork, everything is much, much harder.

Also, while you feel young, I feel old.  lol  I also hear a little voice that tells me that people are questioning how I got in here.  Imposter syndrome is just terrible!

[AP]

My roommate is about 8 years younger and in my cohort. I will tell you what I tell her every time she doubts herself because of age: no one cares about your age. NO ONE. I couldn't careless that she came straight from undergrad. Another girl a year above me, and relatively young too, is more obsessed about my age than me. I understand that it is an accomplishment to come straight from undergrad, especially because of the cultural difference between undergraduate students and their graduate counterparts. I am not minimizing your effort. Yet, be sure that nobody cares about how young you are. Only you. (Ok, MAYBE your advisor, but I doubt it)

The difference between you and me, if any, is in life experience. You chose to stay in school. I chose to travel and work, and you can tell that, sorry. I am more confrontational with my advisors because I had to deal with bosses (and, as you are now, I was scared to talk to them). I have good time management techniques because I worked full time and studied for several years. It doesn't make me better than anybody. It doesn't make me smarter (I wish though!). It makes me simply more experienced. Period. In my case, I always say that I needed those years of work and travel to be ready for grad school. In your case, you made it clear that you didn't. And that's fine, be sure of that.

These are our decisions. I was not ready for grad school when I was 21. You clearly are because otherwise you wouldn't be there. YOU made the decision to be here, you made the decision to follow that protocol, you are making the decision of staying here because you know this is what you want. So stop being scared of talking to your advisor or the tech, and step up as the professional grad student you want to be, who sometimes makes mistakes (but surely almost never does  ). 

[knp]

I bought these socks.

[Neist]

Remember, learning cannot happen unless one accepts that they are ignorant and will often fail.

[knp]

To expand on the socks point, you might also spend some time in the pro-failure section of the TED Talk internet—a lot of Silicon Valley successes have found value in failures much much bigger than using a protocol that didn't work. I also recommend doing some reading on the "growth" mindset, rather than a "fixed" one, to see if you can nudge yourself into the former. Although all self-help sorts of material need a grain of salt, I think, it could help you a lot to try re-framing your mental narrative to account for a fact that you are a student and learning requires practice. Practice means you're working on mastering skills; it by definition means you haven't mastered all of them yet.