Evaluation required for GRE issue essay

[Optimist92]

Hi All,

Kindly requesting for evaluation of below issue essay for the prompt from Kaplan verbal workbook:

Prompt:Some people believe that strong relationships can only develop after conflict and resolution have enabled the partners to speak openly and trust deeply. Others believe that each conflict creates rifts in a relationship that can never be repaired, weakening its foundation. Write a response in which you determine which view bears the closest resemblance to your own. In justifying your reasoning and supporting your position, be sure to include your reaction to both of the views presented.

Relationship, which is built by mutual trust and perseverance, is believed by some people to break apart when a conflict arise. Whereas, others believe a relationship grows stronger when partners let their emotions out. A brief look into long lasting relationship reveals, partners who speak their mind out, work out on their difference in opinion tend to lead a harmonious life than those who keeps their preference private. 

Firstly, when partners open up they tend to understand each other better. Keeping our preference to ourselves would give no clue to the partner our state of mind. So they would continue indulging in same activity that once raised the conflict, unwittingly though. This would cause emotional build up which when not purged out might break the relationship. There are many relationships which are broken apart and either of the involved persons know what went wrong between them. Having an emphasis on transparency would eliminate such failures in relationships. 

Secondly, having one's feeling recognized provides for the additional benefit of keeping up one's mental health. When analyzed the motive behind an acquit's action, ill mental health would top the list. Suppressing one's feeling builds strong hatred and when it reaches its threshold instigates the individual to act in unjustified ways. Such an action affects not only the individual but also the society at large. To avoid such cases, an individual can opt out for the service of professional counsellor or a third person who could listen to their feeling and guide them in right path.  

While few could argue that there are few dispute in relationship which when discussed would exacerbate the situation, the way we inform our partner our feeling rules it for the most part. Our tone, our choice of words, and the way we express our mind would help our partner empathise with ourselves. With greater understanding seemingly precarious relationships can also be fixed. History is abundant with citations of partners who reconciled after years. 

In all, suppressing our feeling fearing that doing otherwise would create a fissure in the relation has the potential to tear apart a relationship. Such kind of nominal relationship lacks honesty; when there is no honesty, there would be no trust; with no trust, the foundation of relationship is so weak that it would collapse sooner or later. Partners should encourage their counterpart to speak their mind out, and work together in conflict resolution process. This correspondence outweighs those bogus relation where individuals imitate false satisfaction. 

 

Thanks in advance  

[Warelin]

There are a few problems here and there with sentence structure and language usage. It does convey what you're trying to say though. I'd rate this somewhere between a 3 and 3.5.

[Optimist92]

Thanks for your timely help