The "if we admit you, will you accept" question

[profound_g]

Your own moral standards are up to you, but you might want to check in with an advisor or someone to make a game plan. I wouldn't be surprised if it were possible to damage your advisor's/letter-writers' reputations by saying something like "I would definitely go if admitted" and then not going.

Mine was a general comment. I made very few applications, and do not have a "safety school". Still, I did not necessarily mean saying something as explicit as "I would definitely go". I stand by my comment that any school with this approach of putting too much pressure would be lowered in rank on my own list. In an actual conversation one potential adviser told me that although he wouldn't want it to happen, I should choose the best option for me, even if that meant choosing another school over them. Now that's a positive attitude. +10 points right there. And a whole lot of difference from the "Oh we know how much you put into it, we know that you're nervous, let's crank it up a bit more" thing described by other posters.

Ugh... and of course, in the worst case scenario you find out later that X would not admit you and Y already wouldn't admit you because they're afraid of you going to X. This question scares me.

Which is exactly why this question should not be asked. Then again this is not an ideal world we live in.

For future reference, you can still equivocate in that situation. Say you have not yet visited school X (or the questioner's school), or that you aren't thinking quite at that level yet given that you haven't seen the details of the offers, etc. In other words, pin your indecision on ANY information that you don't yet have.

I don't see how that would be any different from a simple hesitation if the schools asking this want to hear an immediate "yes".

If you have more nerve than I do, I could also imagine saying something like, "I was under the impression that I had until April 15th to make those kinds of decisions! Am I wrong?" ...but that definitely requires more nerve than I have.

Now here's something I can connect to. Though this specific phrasing sounds a bit harsh.

[punkybugsy]

Given the schools you've listed in your sig, it would be hilarious to pretend that one was your safety. "Will I attend? Well, I haven't heard from Princeton yet, but they *are* just my safety..."

lmao exactly

[coyabean]

So I thought about this.

"If we make you an offer would you absolutely, positively say yes?"

"Is that absolutely, positively an offer of admission?"

And there you go.

Edited January 27, 2010 by coyabean

[katalytik]

So I thought about this.

"If we make you an offer would you absolutely, positively say yes?"

"Is that absolutely, positively an offer of admission?"

And there you go.

Agreed. Two can play that game!

[nurye27]

So I thought about this.

"If we make you an offer would you absolutely, positively say yes?"

"Is that absolutely, positively an offer of admission?"

And there you go.

What if he/she says yes, this is absolutely, positively an offer of admission? Would you be able to say yes I would absolutely, positively accept that offer?

Edited January 27, 2010 by nurye27

[coyabean]

What if he/she says yes, this is absolutely, positively an offer of admission? Would you be able to say yes I would absolutely, positively accept that offer?

I'm willing to bet they'd equivocate and I would equivocate in direct proportion. However, if they want to negotiate full funding, acceptance, office space, TAships and the like while I sit there and watch? And will put it in writing? Then sure.

Again, I'm not very afraid of that happening.

[unclelurker]

I'm willing to bet they'd equivocate and I would equivocate in direct proportion. However, if they want to negotiate full funding, acceptance, office space, TAships and the like while I sit there and watch? And will put it in writing? Then sure.

Again, I'm not very afraid of that happening.

It is a prix fixe menu. If I cook you turkey dinner every day for the next seven years, will you promise to eat it all? And never think about eating chicken? Or, gasp, tofu? I can only make dinner for one lucky graduate student. If you don't show up, the department lets the turkeys go free and I can never get them to come back to the chopping block.

The funding situation previosly described is most definitely how many departments in the UC system operate in a normal year. One offer, one student. Add economy crises, and there will not be second rounds or wait list offers for some [some!] subfields. The CSUs cut spring altogether.

[katalytik]

I was asked this question in a phone interview and didn't have a problem saying, absolutely! I can see how it's morally sketchy, but I also didn't apply anywhere I wouldn't go. Although I can totally see how the "if X accepts you and so do we, what will you do?" question would just strike me dumb, even if the answer was definitely. I feel like that question is a different issue entirely than "would you accept".

I have to agree with this because it's an unfair question from the outset. They know we need to spread our eggs around, and don't have any idea of where we are going. So to put us in a position like that is completely unfair. I am not sure what I will do, but I have a feeling that I will be asked this question in my interview......need to figure out what I will say, but this thread is helpful in that process.

[alexicon]

I didn't realize this was a common problem. I recently encountered this issue myself for a master's program.

My POI called me, first asking me some general questions. It finally became apparent that they were looking to admit me, and I asked, "are you saying there's a spot for me if I'd like to attend?" and she replied in the affirmative. She also repeatedly emphasized that I would get full funding as a top-ranked candidate. She then asked me for a commitment, apparently because there was a meeting coming up in three weeks to bid for funding and they need to know which candidates to bid for. But it was the first program I had heard from and I quite reasonably couldn't commit on the spot. I expressed strong interest, but asked her for a firm deadline to give her an answer. I said I would try to speak with other schools to expedite their decisions process and she agreed that I should do so, saying that schools will often hurry things up if you have leverage. She promised to contact me in a few days with a firm deadline, but I never heard from her. I sent a nice follow-up e-mail right after the call, reiterating what was said on the phone and thanking her, but she never responded.

I e-mailed the POI a week later to follow-up and it turns out that I was bumped down their list of preferred candidates, from being top-ranked and having a "guaranteed place" to merely being on the list without the guarantee of a place or funding. So in essence, because I didn't make a commitment right on the spot, I lost the offer immediately, despite being led to believe that I at least had two weeks or so to decide. Moreover, when I contacted another professor in the department, I was told that I was never actually extended an offer at that stage. This is despite being told that there was a spot for me, with full funding, and that I should leverage all this to try to get other schools to hurry up. And if I had a "guaranteed place", isn't that an offer? Looks like an offer, smells like an offer, but somehow isn't an offer because it's no longer convenient for them to package it as such.

The purpose of the phone call seems like it was to suss out whether I would go or not. I suppose I can see it from the department's persepctive, as they finally told me, similar to what one of the other posters wrote, that if someone doesn't come, they lose the spot and the funding. However, their behaviour is pretty unprofessional and unfair on their part. And frankly, even if I somehow still manage to get a place/funding although it's highly unlikely now, it makes me not want to attend that program any longer, as I don't want to be studying with and putting my academic career in the hands of people who operate like this.

Edited February 16, 2010 by alexicon