Babies and PhDs

[CrunchyMamademic]

Are there any parents pursuing graduate degrees here? I will be starting a PhD program (English) in the fall before my son's 2nd birthday. I'd love to hear about any ways people have coped with time management, the unique challenges we will face, and, of course, the rewards of balancing both parenthood and graduate school.

There is a wonderful Facebook group for academic mothers, but since I no longer use Facebook I have been struggling to find a tribe of people going through the same thing I am.

[Adelaide9216]

I have no children, but I've always been very admirative of parents who decide to pursue post-secondary education. Good luck!

[CrunchyMamademic]

37 minutes ago, Adelaide9216 said:

I have no children, but I've always been very admirative of parents who decide to pursue post-secondary education. Good luck!

Thank you!

[manals]

A 2 year old! Oh he must so curious & running everywhere & into everything!

Hi! I'll be starting my English PhD in the fall as well, with 2 young boys no less! A soon-to-be 9 & a soon-to-be 6 year old. I'm not the most organized person, and I mostly work at night, but I will say I have a wonderful and supportive husband who takes an equal responsibility in taking care of the boys and the house. They are a handful, and they do break my concentration - in fact, I know I sometimes ignore bath & bedtimes for my hubby to take on - but they are fun and the older one is so proud that "I'm going to school just like him"!

I think the most practical advice I can give is to have ready-made meals. Take one day during the week to prepare, make, & freeze weekly meals and snacks so you are not rushing around for food, getting cranky on an empty stomach - because schoolwork & children will make you cranky - and taking valuable time away from studying and spending time with the kids.

Oh and a big giant calendar on the wall with everything and everyone's agenda on it! Your studies will be competing with kid's appointments & activities & homework/project - make sure you can see it all in one place before you commit a time to something.

[CrunchyMamademic]

Great advice, @manals! I have always wanted to try meal prepping, but never seem to get around to the big batch cooking day. I should probably practice this summer.

Did you have children during your Masters program as well?

[manals]

13 hours ago, CrunchyMamademic said:

@manals Did you have children during your Masters program as well?

1

Yes. They were 4 and 1 at that time. I learnt about meal prepping during those two years, though I didn't appreciate it or follow it the way I should have. Lots of microwave cooking. But now that I am a few years older and !!!wiser!!!, I've recently started doing it regularly and it has made a big difference during the week. Kitchn.com has some great tips & resources for getting organized and planning weekly meals. Good luck! I recommend one pot meal! :-)

[CrunchyMamademic]

Wow! I appreciate the input. Thanks.

[fiboniz]

I have three children.  7, 3, and a newborn in February 2017.  I will be attending IU Bloomington in the fall this year for my PhD in statistics.  I have my wife and kids to support during graduate school so it will be very challenging and stressful but I can also see how this will be a great experience for us all.  I have already completed some of my master's in applied statistics with these three children so I am accustomed to most of the stress it causes.  It's definitely not impossible.

[shadowclaw]

I'm not a parent, but I just wanted to mention that you should definitely check out the resources at your new school. I've thought about the idea of having a child before finishing my PhD and found that there are some great services available at my school to graduate students. Probably one of the better ones is free daycare service for 3 hours or less during the daytime hours... perfect for when you have a class or have to teach. Not so useful if you have to be in the lab all day doing research, though. 

The people I do know with children are able to plan their schedule around their personal needs for the most part, such as coming in to work when their SO is home to care for the children or doing work at home. I think this would be more difficult with a very structured program or when doing research that requires long hours on specialized equipment. With luck, you will have a flexible program!

[CrunchyMamademic]

On 5/5/2017 at 10:16 AM, fiboniz said:

I have three children.  7, 3, and a newborn in February 2017.  I will be attending IU Bloomington in the fall this year for my PhD in statistics.  I have my wife and kids to support during graduate school so it will be very challenging and stressful but I can also see how this will be a great experience for us all.  I have already completed some of my master's in applied statistics with these three children so I am accustomed to most of the stress it causes.  It's definitely not impossible.

Wow! That's fantastic. We also decided that I will support the family during this time, so my husband can stay home with our son and help make the transition smoother. It's nice to hear others have done it.

Good luck in your program!

@shadowclaw thank you for the advice!

[mdivgirl]

I am starting a Ph.D. program in church history in the fall with an almost-4, almost-6, and almost-7 year old (pre-school, kindergarten, and 1st grade).  We are also moving internationally and my husband and oldest son may or may not make it through immigration by the time the semester starts, so I am not sure if I am actually going to make it, though I think it will work once we get everyone to the country and find a house and routine.  Until then, we are staying with a friend of the family so that will help.  But yeah.  I am a little overwhelmed with all the life details that I am barely thinking about school yet.  A lot of those come from living overseas so long that I just don't have a lot of life in place, plus my husband isn't American and isn't too much help on practical life in the US matters.  Thank God for the internet!

One thing that helped is that my school opened up registration early.  Even though we were not expected to sign up for classes until we met with our advisers at orientation, I managed to do it over the phone and get my schedule more-or-less settled.  This gives me a decent idea of what my schedule will be like so I can work the family details out around it.

On 5/9/2017 at 0:42 PM, shadowclaw said:

Probably one of the better ones is free daycare service for 3 hours or less during the daytime hours... perfect for when you have a class or have to teach.

I am very jealous of this.  I have looked up day care at my school and other than limited emergency care or a full-out, full-priced daycare, they don't have much to offer.  I have two evening seminars, but other than that my class schedule is one hour every morning so something like this would be totally perfect for my youngest.  As it is, we're looking into a twice-a-week church program and drop-in daycares near campus -- but this makes me so jealous!