xypathos Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 I had a professor email me in the middle of the night, a professor that so happens to be one of my thesis readers. Anyway, in his email he chided me for not being a "giving Christian" because I do not have an extroverted, bubbly personality. That Christians have an obligation to be giving and out going, and because I am not outwardly as such, ergo bad Christian. I followed up with an email asking for clarification and really taken back by all of this. I acknowledged that I am a reserved person but that obviously he's speaking to something much deeper than this. I asked if we could meet to talk about this. He responded that he neither has the time nor inclination to grant such a request. Here's a slightly edited (for privacy) series of emails: 1) I sent him and the other readers a digital copy of my thesis, along with a note that printed copies will be placed in their faculty boxes. I also personally thanked said professor because he lost his wife last year but also because he wrote some LOR for me, along with editing my thesis. He's been very helpful up to this point and so his email below really took me for a loop. -------- 2) His response: I also want to to also understand, [name], that I have gone well beyond the "extra mile" with you in this process, for the simple reason that it is what I should do as one who seeks to mentor you in this Christian pilgrimage. Being a Christian, of any sort, implies being a giving person. You have not been a very giving person, [name]. You have with-held yourself from others, both in class and otherwise. In response to the kindnesses you have been shown, I place you under holy obligation to do differently, in so far it is within your power to do so. ------- 3) My response: Would it be possible for us to meet when you're on campus so that we may discuss this? I know that I'm not an extroverted , freely talking individual. That said, you're obviously referencing something beyond this and I don't clearly know what that is. ---------- 4) Final response: I am referring precisely to what you identified in your reply. You need to push yourself a more to contribute in class and participate otherwise in the life of community. It is too easy for you to sit back, hold back, and let things go back. No one on the teaching faculty feels like they know you , [name]. That is not our fault, and ultimately it is not our problem. More than this I do not have time or inclination to say. ------------------------------------------------ I've spoken with my advisor and shared this email with another professor, who both feel that the professor in this email is 1) wrong and 2) way out of line. We're a small school, very small in fact and while I can report this to the Dean (one of them have asked me to do), they did so stating that it would sour relationships permanently. As well, with me graduating there would be little to nothing done about it and while they would withhold approaching the professor until after my thesis defense, it's too late to and would raise too many red flags to remove him at this point. I get his wanting me to be more outgoing but also, it just isn't my personality. Also, I think it's entirely unreasonable of him to expect everyone to be as such. As well, the whole "you have not been a very giving person" comes across as intentionally wanting to be hurtful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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