the waitlist...

[alrightok]

Say you've accepted an offer from good phd program A. Then after April 15, better phd program B lets you off the wait list. How do you handle it? Is it ethical? Will it make you an academic pariah? Will anyone at school A remember you three months from now? Discuss....

[oakeshott]

It's part of the process. It happens every year. People in every department know that it happens every year. As long as you are professional and sincere about it, you will certainly not become a pariah. Program A won't love it, but they'll understand. They have a waitlist too. 

Edited April 15, 2017 by oakeshott

[tigerlilies]

Maybe too early to be worrying about this but does anyone have a rough template of what to say? In a case like this where you're backing out after actually having committed should you go into more detail? e.g. provide details of where you're going, why etc. Are there cases where the school being backed out from made things difficult?

[oakeshott]

25 minutes ago, tigerlilies said:

Maybe too early to be worrying about this but does anyone have a rough template of what to say? In a case like this where you're backing out after actually having committed should you go into more detail? e.g. provide details of where you're going, why etc. Are there cases where the school being backed out from made things difficult?

As usual, n=1. So take this with a grain of salt. I committed to School A, only to get off the waitlist at School B on maybe April 16. A couple of weeks later I asked to be let off the hook from School A and committed to School B. Everyone at School A (and at School B, for that matter) was extremely gracious, kind, and understanding. The program administrator at School B liaised with their counterpart at School A so that I wouldn't have to worry about the bureaucracy and could focus instead on making my decision and talking to my POIs at both schools. When I decided to go to School B, I contacted the people I had met with at School A. I didn't go into too much detail, but I did say where I was going, I thanked them profusely, I said I was genuinely sad that I wasn't joining their program, and I noted that personal factors played an important role. I said I hoped we could stay in touch. All of that was sincere.  Every single person wrote back. Like I said, every single person was gracious, kind, and understanding.

So that's my story.* Maybe I got really lucky with the folks I met at School A. Maybe I was also lucky in the sense that, given my profile, the switch made a lot of sense. Maybe. But I still think the things I did right are transferable: Act in good faith. Be honest. Be forthcoming. Get help from administrators. And know that, as I said above, faculty and administrators everywhere know that this is just how the game is played. Try to worry less about pissing someone off and more about making sure that you make the right decision. It's one of the most important you'll ever make.

By the way: if there are other people, not at School A or B, who have been supporting you / following you in this crazy adventure, make sure to keep them in the loop too if you decide to make a last-minute switch. They'll appreciate it. 

*I'm not super comfortable publicly sharing more than what I've already said, but feel free to message me if you want to chat more. 

 

Edited February 20, 2018 by oakeshott

[tigerlilies]

@oakeshott Thank you! Extremely helpful.