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No letter of recommendation from PI


EatBread

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Backstory: My professor is very reputable in the field. When I started out in his lab as a third-year undergraduate, however, I realized that our personalities were not a good fit. I actually joined his lab a little bit later into the quarter, but when I visited him many times to ask for his assistance in learning about the literature and concepts, for example, he took more of a hands-off approach and would not provide much guidance. I felt flung into a dark forest to fend for myself, and as an undergraduate with no knowledge at the time on any of the topics as well as no knowledge of how research even worked, I was completely lost. Fast forward a couple of years and I've worked under him and a couple of doctoral candidates/postdocs of his for 2 years, and when it came time for me to ask him for a LOR, he declined, saying I hadn't enough to show for him. I felt that this was an unfair assumption, even though I went to lab and did painstaking work for many hours and for two years, but I could only accept his decision. Despite that, under him, I never felt that I picked up my stride in research. Afterwards, I decided to leave his lab unannounced, as I already felt disappointed that there seemed to be little chance (and little time left) for me to earn his positive LOR. I've since come to regret not giving my "two weeks notice" so to speak, as my doctoral (candidate at the time) supervisor took notice of this as well and when I reached out to her, she did not reply back. However, my largest regret was not seeking a different professor to work under, one with a more hands-on approach/personality towards his students, as I have always felt that I would've performed even better under those theoretical circumstances. My PI actually also had a reputation of writing negative letter recommendations for students in the past, so I am now unwilling to ask him again, after not contacting him for several years.

The situation I face now is this:

A few schools have contacted me to ask for a LOR from my PI/supervisor, but I was not on great terms with the only lab I was in. Currently, I've got enough letters from a work supervisor in industry research and lecturer professors (also well-known in the field), but now that schools are beginning to review applications, they want my professor's recommendation, whose respect I do not think I have. I am aware that it looks rather strange for me not to have a letter of recommendation from my research supervisor or principal investigator, but I needed to leave the environment that I put myself in and realized, too late, that I should have at least given fair warning to my then-supervisor before leaving abruptly. As of now, I am unsure as to how to proceed. Asking my professor for a LOR is not even a consideration at this point, for he may just not answer, but he may actually put in a negative word on my behalf, thus using his name to effectively shred my application/chance to pieces. I do not feel that my story is entirely unique, as I'm sure there are many people who've not been in labs that were good fits on their first (and only for me) try. My biggest mistake was to stay with mine and not find another. Now I'm faced with the difficult task of answering a few schools requests on providing them a LOR from a professor who I have no intention of asking. Thanks for listening and would appreciate some feedback on my situation.

Edited by EatBread
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  • 2 weeks later...

I think you should tell the schools that though you worked under this PI for 2 years and gained many valuable research skills in his lab, you did not spend much time working directly with him and therefore do not feel that he is the best person to accurately and effectively speak to your potential as a researcher. 

It sort of sounds like you already submitted your applications with other letters of rec, and now schools are asking for a supplementary letter? If so, you have a couple options: (1) respond to the school with the above info (or something similar) and ask them if they think a letter from a postdoc from the lab would benefit your application, or (2) preemptively ask a postdoc you were close with for a letter, and submit it with your response to the school's request.

Good luck!!

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