dat_nerd

Relevant:

Thanks for the comments!
 
I just finished the 8 hour exam today, and I'm actually feeling alright about it. I did a couple of practice exams beforehand to help me practice my time management, and it really paid off. 
 
And it makes for a new personal record -- 18 pages in 8 hours.
 
Thanks guys for the encouragement!

The description may say that guests are allowed -- and they certainly will be -- but this is a situation where you have to read between the lines a bit and get a feel for the context of the situation. As pretty much everyone else has said, it would be unusual to bring parents along to a graduate orientation, just as it would to bring parents along to an office party or other work event. You can safely assume that "guests" means "significant others or dependents" in this circumstance. Regardless of the reality of your situation, bringing your parents along would give the impression that you want or need parental approval / observation / guidance etc. I was just about to type something about "politics," but really, it's not even that. It's just being attuned to certain social norms. "Don't bring your parents to grad school functions" is one of those unwritten guidelines you simply have to pick up on.

Thanks y'all! Just an update - I passed

-"Why do we fall Bruce?  So we can learn to pick ourselves up."

It's one of those downsides to well-ranked schools they just don't tell you about in the orientation packet. Also, the tourists.
 
The best I've heard is a modification on the Phantom Time Hypothesis.

Again, as others on this thread have communicated, on TheGradCafe, no one "owns" the thread so no user can choose what the posters discuss or talk about. At this point, the conversation has steered quite a ways away from your original post/question and that is fine. If you do not want to participate in this thread anymore, whether because you have got what you came for, or if you feel that it is no longer helpful to you, or if you simply don't like the responses**, then the best thing to do is to stop responding to this thread and let it go in whatever other direction it is going. If you don't like TheGradCafe, then the best thing to do is to stop using your account. I'm not suggesting that you leave our forums, you're certainly welcome to stay, but I am making this suggestion since you mentioned account deletion.
 
** Note: When anyone posts an issue here and asks for thoughts/advice, people are going to provide information and thoughts from their perspective and they do this because they are trying to be helpful. Sometimes, their advice may not be the best for you / may not apply to you, especially if you (for understandable privacy reasons) only provided limited information, but it's your responsibility to sort through all of the perspectives given and decide what is best for you. Sometimes people will provide thoughts and advice that you don't want to hear. This is normal because we are a diverse group of people with a diverse set of experiences and worldviews. If you don't like their advice, you are free to ignore it, but in general, I think it's worth considering all points of views, even the ones you don't like.
 
Finally, threads on TheGradCafe are here for the benefit of the community, not just the original poster. So, if you don't like the way the thread has gone or if you don't like the advice here because it doesn't apply to you, then feel free to ignore it and use your other resources to seek help. But the thread and content will stay as others might find the discussion useful to them.
 
 
I reread all of the posts to make sure and I don't think anyone is accusing you, personally, of abusing the Title IX office. Also, no one accused you, personally, of any wrongdoing. Instead, people have written opinions of your current and past actions based on your original post. People have also written their opinions of your assessment of the situation. People have given you advice on what they think is the best path forward. Then, as a side conversation in this same thread, people discussed Title IX issues that have nothing to do with you (e.g. what happened at Northwestern). As I wrote above, the author of a thread does not own the content in it, and you cannot choose which opinions of you remain in the thread and which get deleted. You also cannot choose what gets discussed in this thread and what doesn't.

Oh and one additional thing: people at Harvard/MIT/Stanford/Princeton/Oxford/Cambridge WILL have judgment for going to a second tier school (e.g. JHU, Duke, UCLA, NYU). Most will be very nice and this won't impact anything socially--but don't be naive (to above comments). They do think they're an elite club and it will bleed through (especially for MIT kids). If they went to those schools for undergrad the elitism is beaten in pretty severely. If you had a state school college experience you won't have been brainwashed in the same way. In the UK it's even more intense. If you didn't go to Oxbridge for undergrad the entire system works against you slightly. That said, grad school is so international compared to undergrad that you'll always be able to find people in the same position.

In June of 2014, at the age of 37, I decide to try to go back to school for a Ph.D. I went to Barnes and Noble and cracked open a GRE prep book for the first time. I studied for 5 months and took a Manhattan Prep GRE course. I did well on the exam, but not as well as I had hoped. I continued to study and took a 2nd exam on December 16, 2014. Mind you, I left my job and was studying AT LEAST 5 days a week for 8 hours per day. After studying, I was working on applications, statements, writing samples, etc. 
 
I finally achieved a good enough score on 12/16 to feel as though I could relax... boy was I wrong about the relaxing! I never figured that the waiting for decisions would be so gut wrenching. I was accepted to a program on Jan 26th. I was awarded full tuition and fees plus a stipend as  TA. I was relieved, but I wasn't happy. 
 
On March 6, I got an offer for a TA position at the University of South Carolina... I was ecstatic, but once again, starting ALL OVER AGAIN. Now, it was time to pack, sell my house, buy a house, move to SC.... holy crap! 
 
It is now June 25, 2015. It is just about 1 year later. I sold my house for $450,000. I bought a house in SC for $224,000 in cash that I got from the equity in my old house. I have never lived outside of New England.  I have never lived in the shout... but here I am, with my wife and 2 dogs in 100+ degree weather. The thing that really blows my mind is that this is not the end... in fact, I haven't even STARTED yet! I start in August with TA training.
 
How far have YOU come?

Don't do it.  You're a robot.  Don't have fun.  Publish or perish, concentrate only on your career, and when you're 35 with full tenure you can start dating.

If you find a bag you like, sometimes you can get it used or on a 3rd party site for much less. I ended up finding my originally $120 Timbuk2 messenger for $55 on Newegg.

I haven't heard of it, and have never met anyone at an AI conference who was from TTIC. Do you have an offer from UCSD or USC? If so, I would definitely recommend taking it over a newer, lesser-known program.

Timbuk2 has hands down the best messenger bag

I see these questions pop up from time to time, but can't help but wonder if they're of any use.
 
All it seems to do is make anyone outside the 23-28 age range feel out of place. Isn't there enough worry already about being able to connect with new peers?
 
One of the things I love about grad school is that it's so transient. For some amount of time, you get to be surrounded by peers who are from different backgrounds, different knowledge bases, different sets of experiences, and so forth. With that, you get a number of students who don't fit the "standard" age range, but it also means that it just doesn't matter any more.
 
What does matter is that you can learn new information quickly, keep up with a hard-working lifestyle, and build relationships with new and interesting people. I don't see how age affects any of that, nor why anyone outside the "standard" age range should feel like they have something to prove.

Couldn't have said it better.

I see these questions pop up from time to time, but can't help but wonder if they're of any use.
 
All it seems to do is make anyone outside the 23-28 age range feel out of place. Isn't there enough worry already about being able to connect with new peers?
 
One of the things I love about grad school is that it's so transient. For some amount of time, you get to be surrounded by peers who are from different backgrounds, different knowledge bases, different sets of experiences, and so forth. With that, you get a number of students who don't fit the "standard" age range, but it also means that it just doesn't matter any more.
 
What does matter is that you can learn new information quickly, keep up with a hard-working lifestyle, and build relationships with new and interesting people. I don't see how age affects any of that, nor why anyone outside the "standard" age range should feel like they have something to prove.

I will be 28, and I hope my incoming cohort is younger!

I'm single, so it's not like I can bond over what it's like to be a parent with other students. All silly insecurities about age go out the door when I work with people who are in their 30s/40s and working on grad degrees at Ivy league institutions.

That sucks but, as GeoDUDE! has pointed out, it's also fairly common. It's still demoralizing and depressing when it happens. Take a few days for some self-care, dat_nerd.

I feel like this happens pretty frequently too: people pass most of it but have to retake part of it.  I knew a couple people in my dept who had this happen. It sucks, but also no big deal if you respond appropriately. The 2nd time around should be easier. Good for you for not letting this beat you up too much. 

I see these questions pop up from time to time, but can't help but wonder if they're of any use.
 
All it seems to do is make anyone outside the 23-28 age range feel out of place. Isn't there enough worry already about being able to connect with new peers?
 
One of the things I love about grad school is that it's so transient. For some amount of time, you get to be surrounded by peers who are from different backgrounds, different knowledge bases, different sets of experiences, and so forth. With that, you get a number of students who don't fit the "standard" age range, but it also means that it just doesn't matter any more.
 
What does matter is that you can learn new information quickly, keep up with a hard-working lifestyle, and build relationships with new and interesting people. I don't see how age affects any of that, nor why anyone outside the "standard" age range should feel like they have something to prove.

I see these questions pop up from time to time, but can't help but wonder if they're of any use.
 
All it seems to do is make anyone outside the 23-28 age range feel out of place. Isn't there enough worry already about being able to connect with new peers?
 
One of the things I love about grad school is that it's so transient. For some amount of time, you get to be surrounded by peers who are from different backgrounds, different knowledge bases, different sets of experiences, and so forth. With that, you get a number of students who don't fit the "standard" age range, but it also means that it just doesn't matter any more.
 
What does matter is that you can learn new information quickly, keep up with a hard-working lifestyle, and build relationships with new and interesting people. I don't see how age affects any of that, nor why anyone outside the "standard" age range should feel like they have something to prove.

I see these questions pop up from time to time, but can't help but wonder if they're of any use.
 
All it seems to do is make anyone outside the 23-28 age range feel out of place. Isn't there enough worry already about being able to connect with new peers?
 
One of the things I love about grad school is that it's so transient. For some amount of time, you get to be surrounded by peers who are from different backgrounds, different knowledge bases, different sets of experiences, and so forth. With that, you get a number of students who don't fit the "standard" age range, but it also means that it just doesn't matter any more.
 
What does matter is that you can learn new information quickly, keep up with a hard-working lifestyle, and build relationships with new and interesting people. I don't see how age affects any of that, nor why anyone outside the "standard" age range should feel like they have something to prove.

I see these questions pop up from time to time, but can't help but wonder if they're of any use.
 
All it seems to do is make anyone outside the 23-28 age range feel out of place. Isn't there enough worry already about being able to connect with new peers?
 
One of the things I love about grad school is that it's so transient. For some amount of time, you get to be surrounded by peers who are from different backgrounds, different knowledge bases, different sets of experiences, and so forth. With that, you get a number of students who don't fit the "standard" age range, but it also means that it just doesn't matter any more.
 
What does matter is that you can learn new information quickly, keep up with a hard-working lifestyle, and build relationships with new and interesting people. I don't see how age affects any of that, nor why anyone outside the "standard" age range should feel like they have something to prove.

I see these questions pop up from time to time, but can't help but wonder if they're of any use.
 
All it seems to do is make anyone outside the 23-28 age range feel out of place. Isn't there enough worry already about being able to connect with new peers?
 
One of the things I love about grad school is that it's so transient. For some amount of time, you get to be surrounded by peers who are from different backgrounds, different knowledge bases, different sets of experiences, and so forth. With that, you get a number of students who don't fit the "standard" age range, but it also means that it just doesn't matter any more.
 
What does matter is that you can learn new information quickly, keep up with a hard-working lifestyle, and build relationships with new and interesting people. I don't see how age affects any of that, nor why anyone outside the "standard" age range should feel like they have something to prove.

I see these questions pop up from time to time, but can't help but wonder if they're of any use.
 
All it seems to do is make anyone outside the 23-28 age range feel out of place. Isn't there enough worry already about being able to connect with new peers?
 
One of the things I love about grad school is that it's so transient. For some amount of time, you get to be surrounded by peers who are from different backgrounds, different knowledge bases, different sets of experiences, and so forth. With that, you get a number of students who don't fit the "standard" age range, but it also means that it just doesn't matter any more.
 
What does matter is that you can learn new information quickly, keep up with a hard-working lifestyle, and build relationships with new and interesting people. I don't see how age affects any of that, nor why anyone outside the "standard" age range should feel like they have something to prove.