JungWild&Free

Thanks for the advice everyone! I did ultimately decide to commit to the program with the better overall fit rather than choose for the adviser. There were other factors that also made the more prestigious program a better option like summer funding, program resources, smaller teaching load, more engaging fellow students and a wider network. After weeks of contemplating, it finally seemed clear that the only real pro to the other program was the adviser. Advisers and students do work together closely in my discipline as well, but the personality fit doesn't affect my ability to work with this POI and be productive. Many people indicated that they thought it would be a better choice specifically due to my ability to get a broader training from the POI, in addition to the program. Now, if I had really fiercely disliked the POI at the better program, I think I would have chosen the other school regardless.

Well, it's definitely frowned upon but according to the CGS resolution, you could commit and then just withdraw by April 15th if you get another offer. If you have told this school what your predicament is but they still aren't willing to budge on the early deadline, I would think of what it would be like to work in a program that with people who aren't understanding about what you need from them. I was told by several people that I should consider my interactions with people indicative of how my relationship would be with them in the program. It sounds like this school is not only breaking the rules (there is no specific resolution about international students, and it's my understanding they usually have the same deadline) but they are also putting your needs for future success behind their need to fill a desk in a classroom. If I were you, I would contact the POI at School B and see if you can gauge how much they want you. If you can tell they are going to offer you a spot, I would tell School A to go fly a kite and also tell them that their pressure was a key factor in your choosing a different program. If it's harder to tell if they want you, I would advise telling them exactly what's going on, "I have an offer that I must decide on by date X. I would really prefer to attend the program at School B because I feel it is a better fit for my interests, I really enjoyed the other students, the research is fascinating, etc. but I feel as though I cannot forgo the other opportunity since I don't know my status at School B and will not know until after School A's deadline. I really don't want to miss an opportunity to work with you so is it possible that a decision could be rendered earlier?" If at least one of these schools isn't understanding, I would seriously consider applying again next year to a program that makes your needs a priority.

Just in addition, they seem to admit EVERYONE they reject into it. I don't know how prestigious it really is based on that fact that everyone and their brother just gets offered admission to it (although I haven't heard anything about the rep so I certainly don't know, I'm just going off the amount of acceptances). You might be better off trying to get a lab manager job at a prestigious university where you will actually get paid and the association with a good name rather than go into debt taking classes you'll have to take again. Or really consider the other offers and what you would be able to do there and if you will get significantly more out of a "better" program.

If they say their deadline is April 15th, then they shouldn't be pressuring you to decide earlier. If they don't get a different student this year, they lose one student's place in the program. If you miss don't commit to them in order to wait for another school's decision and get into neither, that greatly affects your situation. Basically, it's a huge decision for you and a yearly decision for them and the April 15th deadline is supposed to recognize that. Even though they are trying to make you feel bad, they can offer acceptances past April 15th. It's unlikely they wouldn't be able to find anyone. And if they don't, then they don't. And, you're right, it only hurts them if you wait. Win-win for you. As much as you like them, they would have had no problem rejecting you or making you wait had you not been their first choice. The point is: Don't let these people pressure you because they are in a tight spot. This is a huge life decision and you deserve to get all of the relevant information before making your decision.

I'm not sure if it's frowned upon in the Canadian system, but it is a widespread practice in the US to discuss funding with programs if that's a barrier for you, especially if you were offered more at another school. If you aren't rude about their program or ungrateful for their offer, I don't see how they could be put off by discussing funding. But, again, I have only heard from people who applied to and attend institutions in the US.

You lucky Dawgs! I went to UGA as an undergrad and it was awesome. Athens is a great place to live. There's an incredibly old Southern history to the town. The graveyard by the library has soldiers from the Revolutionary War buried in it. It is home to the world's only surviving Civil War double-barreled cannon, a tree that owns itself, several historic homes, etc. It also has a great music scene. REM, The B-52s, The Modern Skirts, and Widespread Panic are all from Athens and regularly come back. Michael Stipe is around a lot and owns a vegetarian restaurant with awesome cake called The Grit near downtown. Since they repaired the Georgia Theater from a fire in 2009, and built New Earth Music Hall, there are awesome venues for big bands to come, and if you're into the jam band scene it's especially up your alley. It's a great foodie town. Hugh Acheson, a James Beard award winning chef, has 2 restaurants in Athens. One called Five and Ten near 5 points, and one called the National downtown. There are a ton of other great nice places, like Last Resort and La Dolce Vita downtown but there's also a ton of awesome cheap food. You'll probably find yourself at Little Italy for a $3 slice of pizza at 3 AM after a long night downtown many a time. Mama's Boy is a great southern soul restaurant near downtown that always has a line during school but in the summer and on weekdays, you can get yourself some of the best sweet-tea brined fried chicken ever. Hollis' Famous Ribs were the best ribs in the WORLD, but apparently they closed last year (this is heartbreaking news). If they reopen, I suggest you line up on opening day. The downtown area is awesome and has a ton of great boutiques for jewelry, clothes, art and furniture. It's about 3 square blocks that are packed with bars (think around 100...I lived there for 5 years and still got invited to bars I'd never heard of or seen), boutiques, restaurants and pretty government buildings. Right across from downtown is the entrance to the University. It's absolutely a lovely town, I felt so spoiled by how gorgeous it was every day all over Athens. Housing is super-cheap and everywhere. Undergrads live at most of the big complexes, if you choose to live there, try not to live near the pool or entrance. Other than that, I would say you probably want to live near the University. I lived on Milledge Ave (which is sorority/fraternity row) right at Baxter St (which leads down to the student center) for $625 a month by myself in a 2BR. It was a great place and I could walk to campus in 7 minutes downhill or wait for the bus which took about 10 minutes to go anywhere once I hopped on it. Living further from campus is fine, but I found the convenience of living so close didn't have any significant cost increase. 5 points is another great area close to campus that has a lot of cool houses or apartments in houses that might be better for grads. Football season is nuts but it doesn't really matter if you aren't into football. You'll get into the spirit and tailgating is so much fun, plus a ton of people go downtown after so it's a great time. You will certainly learn not to drive anywhere immediately before or after the games. EVER. Like others, I'm jealous that you are about to move to the Classic City. You can't help but fall in love!

You can take the bus, should you live close to it, it comes on time and it's not already crowded with a ton of people trying to get to Harvard square. Which it pretty much always is where I pick it up :/

When I moved to Cambridge, I got my job August 5, rented an apartment mid-month and moved in September 1. So it is possible to find a place no matter when you come. However, if you're moving to a student-dominated area, you may want to start looking sooner rather than later since the better places are usually rented by the end of the Spring. If you are trying to find your own apartment for less than $1,000, good luck. My first apartment, I paid $1875 a month (it sounds high but it's fairly reasonable for the better locations here) and moving to Allston took my rent to $1450. Both were one-bedrooms. I did get a realtor the second time I was looking and ended up paying a half-fee (half a month's rent) which was soooooo not worth it. I didn't even speak to my landlord until well after I moved in. Had no idea where to pay my rent or where the realty comany was, or even what their phone number was. Thanks for the help and the highway robbery Boston realtors! But I digress... If you are on a budget in this city, you pretty much need to live with roommates. It's been really hard living alone here and I regularly borrow significant amounts of money from my parents (read: monthly) AND I have 2 jobs, working about 65-80 hours a week. Suck it up and find a roommate through craigslist or possibly through friends. You will likely regret living alone once you realize how little money you are still holding on the 2nd of the month. But in terms of times to be finding places? There are a lot of options and people are leaving their apartments all the time. September 1 is the big moving day in Boston/Cambridge but you will be able to find something whenever you need to come find a place (let me clarify that you should give yourself a month lead time, be prepared with a co-signer and make sure that your complex doesn't require in-state cosigners, make sure you have the money up front as people said above, and line up way more options than you think you will need to look at in order for you to find a place). If your schedule is flexible, the busy season for apartment rentals is between March and July so you might want to try to hit that window. Also, you really need to figure out your transportation route to school/work before you pick a place. Allston is 2 miles or less away from Cambridge but it takes 1.5 hours to get there on the T during the morning or evening commutes because you have to take the Red line to Park and switch to the Green line. In terms of T speak, that means you basically have to go into the middle of the city and back out to go somewhere that is right across the river from the place you originally were. Infuriating. You will come to hate public transportation if you don't make sure you have a good setup in terms of your location. I would recommend finding the T-stop you'll be using and trying to live on that T line or finding a place really close to a bus that runs a lot (the buses are not as reliable at the T IMHO, but I don't take them as much).

Agreed that you should do what makes you happiest but also agreed that people say not to go into debt for grad school UNLESS you are sure to make the money back quickly. Does NYU or UCLA give you an edge in your field? Is there a possibility you would make more with those degrees? Do people frown upon doing both undergrad and grad work at the same institution in your field? If not, I'd stay home. If it was a yes to any/all of those, I would investigate my options more.

I've heard of people leaving PhD programs after the masters. I think it's probably really frowned upon but it's not like you have to stay if your circumstances change and you can't commute. In terms of getting pregnant and assuring you can have an LOA, technically it is illegal for the school to penalize you for getting pregnant and they can't deny you maternity leave. Perhaps you want more time than is standard, but I would suspect that some people will be at least somewhat understanding about that. If you just want a masters though, taking 14 months off during a 2 year program just seems kind of illogical. Why not get the masters and then start a family? I think 2 hours both ways sounds like a nightmare, but it sounds like you're willing to do it and if you're willing to do it, Fordham sounds like a better match for your interests to me. I would suggest thinking of the baby as separate from the decision since it is probably not imperative that you have a baby in the next 2 years, but you will have pressing school committments to complete.

I'll be heading to Duke in the Fall. I have amassed a small list of apartments to check out when I visit but most of the suggestions I've gotten from friends who did their undergrad there are pricey (at least for what I expected to be paying...names mentioned most were Station 9, The Lofts, Trinity Commons and The Alexan). Craigslist seems to point to some good deals but it's mostly apartment complex posters or real estate agents. Seems like April or May should be enough lead time to find a place for Fall.

How many programs did you apply to the first time? Those all seem like great credentials unless you only applied to one program, because PhD programs, especially in such specialities, only take a handful of students or less. If you only applied to one, then I wouldn't even take that as a sign that you have a bad fit for B-school, but as a sign that you had a bad fit with that program. There is quite a trend for B-School to be employing social psychologists these days (I work for one at a very highly ranked B-School, I accepted an offer at a psych program affiliated with a highly ranked B-School employing 4+ social psychologists in joint appointments, etc.) I would think seriously about applying for a marketing PhD where your mentor, and your research, will focus on these consumer behavior interests you have. Some programs to look at would be Duke Fuqua School, Chicago Booth and University of Michigan's Ross School. These are just some of the programs I am aware of with large psych tie-ins. I think this sounds like a great path for you if you are interested because B-Schools value work experience more than psych programs do. At this point, you would need at least some research experience to be seriously considered at a psych program without a psych degree and you might want to think about the time-line of that committment. I think you can be successful either way, but you shouldn't rule out B-School in your research.

Is it not possible to talk to University B about your predicament? It's not really fair to make you wait past the deadline to commit to your other program. Maybe you could at least get a gauge on the likelihood that you will be offered admission?

I've heard of a lot of people negotiating for more money once they have better offers. It seems common, and as long as you are delicate about it and stress that the money is the only thing holding you back from committing, I doubt anyone will blame you for asking. The worst thing they can do is say no. I am from the South and live in the North. The climate is certainly warmer in the South but, depending on where you would be, it could be unbearably humid. Also, as much as I love my fellow Southerners, there are less international citizens there (probably true of the North outside of major cities also). I live in Boston now and I would say it's a much more accepting vibe for international transplants. Cost of living is probably cheaper in the South, but again, it depends on where you're moving. I would probably try to get more funding, and if I got it and felt it clinched the deal for me, I'd go to School A.

I have heard of people negotiating for funding once they have other offers. I have also heard that this is very common among men and very uncommon among women. My boss and a customer where I waitress (who is a tenured professor) told me that they did it at several schools, and were successful in getting more money. The key seems to be leveraging another offer you have though, not just requesting more money. I was told to couch it in some sort of statement about how I would rather go to the program with less money, but got better money at another school which would eliminate the need for loans. Also, it generally doesn't hurt to ask as long as you are polite and respectful about it!

I got several FB requests from grad students after one of my visits. I friended all of them because I didn't want to be rude but now I feel really weird about posting anything application related, especially if it isn't about that particular school. That really has eliminated my ability to reach out to all of my friends with the specific issues I'm trying to decide on. I did become friends with one girl that I went on 2 recruitment weekends with and we are both the only admits at one of the programs. I think friending other prospectives is fine if you think you made a good connection, or you want to discuss the visit/school in more detail, but I would probably not have friended the students at that one school if I had thought of a better way to leave them hanging. I definitely have to think about the fact that stuff I post may get back to my POI there.

While I don't think that a UK PhD would be a problem, I seriously doubt that most Community Colleges have the funding to pay for the immigration process. I have an old office-mate who got her PhD in Israel and had great credentials but a really hard time finding a job because of her visa situation. Universities seem to be hesitant to do it unless they really strongly prefer one candidate. In my experience, Community Colleges wouldn't have anywhere near the money to hire you for a significant salary, let alone help you immigrate. I think teaching-focused Liberal Arts Colleges would actually be a better bet since there are several private institutions with the money and desire to bring in International applicants and those institutions tend to value diversity.

Agreed, I'm more in your boat too. It does sound like the situation of the OP is much better at School A. I have been told by everyone to pretty much disregard funding as long as it's enough to live on in the place you'd be moving.

Zabius-how would you answer if the research was much more interesting at School B?

I was in this boat the first time I applied 2 years ago. I applied for Social Psych PhD programs which take 1-2 students per professor (sometimes not even that many) so it's very competitive. I applied to 12 schools the first time I applied and spent a lot of time researching and choosing what I thought would be a good cross-section of schools. I got 2 phone interviews and 1 in person interview and ended up with 12 rejections. So facing the disappointment I felt since I thought I would get in (everyone always thinks you won't have a problem getting in...don't listen to everyone. They know nothing.), I realized I had no plan B. Luckily, I got 2 degrees in college, one in a different area, so I decided to split my job search between both fields. In psych, I joined all of the listservs and applied to lab manager positions. I also applied to retail or fashion jobs. I ended up getting 2 job offers on the same day about 2 months after graduation, one as a lab manager at MIT and one as a retail manager at a department store. Obviously, I took the job at MIT and ended up being way happier than I would have if I had convinced myself to go to the only school that interviewed me (they didn't accept me so it was a nonissue, but it wasn't a good fit for me at all anyway). I applied again this year, to 13 schools, and was much more successful. I got 4 phone interviews, 3 in person interviews and 2 offers with great funding at good Top-40 programs where I have a good fit. Now my problem is trying to decide where to go. Here is my advice if you are in the "didn't get in anywhere" boat: 1) You are not alone! I had great experience coming out of undergrad. Honestly, I couldn't have gotten any more than I did at my undergrad institution. All of my letter-writers were confident, my essay was good, my grades were good, my scores were good, etc. The fact is, there are so few spots and so many applicants that not everyone who is qualified gets in. You are probably all qualified. It may be the case that some of you put in more effort with your applications than others but, at the end of the day, if you didn't get in it really doesn't mean that much about you. All it means is that some kid with a masters degree applied with your exact same credentials. So, seriously, stop taking these rejections personally. Obviously that's more easily said than done but you are still the smart, capable individual you were when you applied. It's not you, it's them. (Also, in terms of age, a lot of programs don't like to accept right out of undergrad so 25 is definitey NOT old to start a program, but it can depend on your field. It would be rare to get an advanced business degree with no work experience, for instance. So if you just graduated or are still in school, it is especially common to get rejected at that point.) 2) Write your rejectors back, especially if you had an interview. Find out why you were rejected (or other people were chosen), specifically. POIs are usually happy to tell you (spoiler alert: either you don't have enough experience or other students were a better match) how you could have improved your application. Take it seriously if you want to get in next cycle and improve that application. Also, be nice and respond with a thank you for the consideration either way. You don't want to burn any bridges. You may decide to apply again, or you may decide to apply for a job there someday. Assume nothing about your future relationship with these people other than the fact that your end should always represent you as a capable professional. 3) Don't stop learning about the application process since you've done it before. A lot of people assume that they didn't get in because someone else had better grades or scores, but it can also be because you made one of a host of fatal errors that applicants in your field make. For instance, in psych programs, and in many mentorship model programs, you are going to want to write specific professors to see if they are taking students this year AT ALL. If you skip this step, you may have applied to 13 schools, 7 of which you never had a chance of getting into because the person that you applied to wasn't taking students. If you are applying for these kinds of programs, so many people do this that if you don't your application will get less consideration. Professors seek out these specific applications when people get in touch, you bring your name to their attention. Also, people often make a lot of mistakes in their statements. One of these mistakes can be talking to much about your experience and not focusing enough on your fit with the program/school. Make sure to keep getting the advice from people you trust so you can avoid these mistakes next time. 4) Build your resume in the meantime. When I got rejected the first round, I was told I had 2 choices to add to my experience: apply to MA programs with late deadlines or get a lab manager or research assistant job in my field. I chose the second route and ended up with a great job that elevated my CV a ton and provided me with a ton of wonderful experience that I used to my advantage in this cycle. A lot of people work in unrelated fields between application seasons but if your application wasn't strong enough the first time, that isn't going to change if your job has nothing to do with your subject. Also, a lot of places want a LOR from your boss if you have a job after school so keep in mind that you will need time to cultivate a relationship with your boss for a good rec. I waited 2 years between applications because I wanted a whole year at my job for my writer to comment on. Keep this is mind when you are planning for the future. Overall, I really don't think I would have been happy at the last place I was waiting to hear from for Fall 2011. The mentor would have been a bad choice, both in personality and research fit. The program is not well respected and I would have taken it just because it was the only school that hadn't rejected me (at that point, I stress again that I was rejected from this school as well). Instead of putting a sub-par institution on my CV, I got to add a job at MIT and will soon add a great PhD program. (This is a good part to point out that when it comes to grad school, there are no safety schools. You could blow every applicant out of the water in terms of education, grades and scores but if other people have a better fit, that other stuff means a lot less.) Being rejected from all of the schools I applied to actually worked out better for me. I did reapply to some of the same schools and my 2 acceptances are both from programs I had applied to and been rejected from previously. I had a phone interview with one and was never taken off the waitlist and, at the other, I literally never heard anything. So keep in mind that this next year can turn the whole thing around for you. Schools that didn't look at your app this year may be calling you as soon as apps are in a couple years from now. The second time around worked for me. In the time between, I got great work experience at an impressive institution with an incredible scholar I am lucky to call my boss. Remember, you are not alone! Rejections happen more than acceptances. Take the next year or two to work on that CV and you will be successful.

I have been accepted to 2 Social Psych PhD programs and am having a difficult time deciding between the offers. I could see myself at both schools and got good fellowships to both. One school has a more prestigious reputation but isn't really that much higher ranked than the other (although reactions from friends, family and laypeople who are not in the know have been much more enthusiastic for the "better" school). The less prestigious school has a great adviser that I have a wonderful research and personality fit with, however she is a new professor (first year). My fit with the adviser at the more prestigious school is less ideal. Our personality fit is less good and our research interests are only somewhat similar, although we have talked about specific projects and he would be on board with those. My fit with the more prestigious program is better. I would have more faculty to work with and be able to pursue interests in marketing easily. My fit the the less prestigious program is less good, but the fit with the adviser is better. Research ideas would be easy to come up with and our personal connection would be very smooth. My question is: what should hold more weight in the decision, the adviser or the program? What do you think would carry more weight in the job market? How much should you prioritize happiness in a program vs opportunity?