grubyczarnykot

Hey! I am interested in history of psychiatry/psychology, my project is kind of an interdisciplinary mess right now but it's a combination of medical history, labor history, disability studies, and trauma studies. I missed a lot of deadlines this year but I ended up making York (STS), U of Toronto (IHPST), and Johns Hopkins (HoS). I applied to MAs and PhDs since I'm switching fields from film/cultural studies. What about you???

My first MA was kind of half-funded, but it was in cultural studies/film, but I feel like I need to solidify my research interests a biiit more if I'm going to spend the money on PhD applications. I do plan on pursuing a PhD, either in Science/Tech Studies or History (of medicine). The MA at U of T includes the possibility of being designated PhD-track, which includes full funding, and that's honestly what I'm crossing my fingers for! Where did you do your MA?

Just chiming in to say hi, I'm another History of Science/Medicine person. I am switching fields from English/Cultural Studies, and the boards for HoS/M are sooo much quieter than the ones for literature!

Hi! It's been awhile since I've been on these forums, but I am bored on a slow day at work and figured I would start a thread for Science & Tech Studies applicants this year. My project is really interdisciplinary and kind of at the borders of history medicine, science & technology studies, and labor history, but I applied to STS departments mainly. Didn't get to send in too many applications as I was finishing my MA thesis (in cultural studies/literature), but here's my list: York STS MA U of Toronto IHPST MA Johns Hopkins History of Science & Technology PhD I'm switching fields, so I focused on secondary MAs with funding options. Has anyone else applied to STS programs this year?

Reading this was like reading a transcript of my own thoughts, which I don't seem to have immediate access to as a result of feeling like this all of the time. Although I am only in an MA program, I have been feeling so utterly defeated by everything about it. It's making me reconsider the one thing that I thought I had passion for, so now I feel like I have nothing (similar to what you said -- if I leave, what else is there for me? I've never put energy or effort into anything else). I got to the point where I had to basically have my supervisor write my thesis proposal for me because I physically could not string words together and the deadline was in a few hours. I have never felt like this before. My good brain has always been my one consistent thing about me -- I could always count on it (I thought), but now I can't even look at a book without feeling the symptoms of a panic attack encroaching slowly, until I have to shut down and can't get anything done. It also makes me feel super lazy and worthless. Like, seriously? I can't do this? I also have the same thoughts about being able to BS something -- I feel like I BSed my way through undergrad and although I was REALLY good at it, I feel crushingly guilty for even entertaining the idea of BSing my way through the rest of my career. Like, I also want so badly to write/do something that has a positive impact on something or someone, but it seems like my mind isn't cut out for actually useful scholarship -- it's only good at ~play~ and mischievous BS. Or whatever. That being said, it seems like you actually give a shit about what you are doing, why you are doing it, and what impact it potentially has on the world at large. I'd say you sound like someone who absolutely should be in academia, because it SHOULD be populated with people who actually take a step back and think about what's going on. I find that I internalize things a lot, and especially in times of high stress, my work becomes my body and then obliterates my mind, or something. I don't have any answers for you but I hope that the stress gets more manageable, and it truly sounds like you are of great value to the academic "community" / the cesspool of the "production of knowledge" that is academia. A friend in my program and I recently had breakdowns at the same time. We both had to literally flee the city we live in to get as far away from our school as possible. Neither one of us turned in our assignments on time (if any of my writing has improved, it's the "I am having some psychological problems and if you need a note I can provide one" email). She feels like she is losing her mind too, but she's truly one of the smartest people in my program with really important things to say. This is stupid and cheesy but I feel like a lot of times, the people with really important shit to say are the ones for whom saying anything is the hardest. I don't know if you experience this in your program, but one of the worst and most disorienting/disillusioning/alienating things about our program is how opaque all of the faculty and a lot of the students are. We sit around reading and talking about really fucking heavy topics, and then we are expected to show up and talk about them as if they were objects of study that we can completely separate from our mental lives. I had a completely different experience at my undergrad university -- my undergrad supervisor often talked about how/why she is personally invested in her work. I know it's crazy to expect so much from profs, because their lives are insane too, but there's something really dismal about the atmosphere of my program. Maybe yours is similar. I hope it's not all like that? Anyway, I hope that your situation gets better. If you wanna talk feel free to DM me, I pretty much feel exactly as you have described.

I think that differences in approach make it very difficult to work with people. A lot of people have told me that it's better to actually go with a supervisor who takes a similar critical approach with you but may not work on the exact same primary material, rather than the other way around. However, I'm finding it more and more difficult to figure out HOW to situate myself politically because I feel that there are increasingly more ideological differences within "leftist" criticism -- there are so many different factions now and they seem to be constantly warring with each other. I'm curious about this, because my current department seems very torn between Marxism and, maybe not overt free-market liberalism, but a strain of post-structuralism that rejects Marxist (and neo-Marxist) criticism in favor of what can often fall back into a sort of anything-goes liberalism (that ultimately gets us nowhere). It's actually quite frustrating, because I took seminars with two potential supervisors who are basically polar opposites in this regard. The liberal-leaning one dismissed historical materialist criticism as "outdated," and the Marxist basically told us that Foucault was insane and Deleuzians are, for all intents and purposes, complicit in the current neoliberal crisis. My problem is a bit different than yours, in that I don't necessarily completely disagree with either one of them; rather, I wish they'd realize how much they might gain from engaging with the "other theory" instead of dismissing it altogether? In my undergrad my profs were usually more forgiving in their interpretations of different strains of criticism (except New Criticism, lolol) -- maybe this is just a product of now being on my profs' level as a graduate student. It's also giving me a lot of anxiety, as I feel like I'm going to be seen as a traitor or something when I finally do pick one to be my supervisor, or I won't be able to get a LoR from one because they no longer support my work, or who knows what. Has anyone else experienced anything similar to this?

Oh man, I feel the exact same way about not being able to rest/relax. I am -so- bad at it. I spent the last semester of my undergrad in Krakow, Poland on a really good scholarship and had very easy classes, but it almost killed me. I couldn't handle not being in an intense academic environment for that long. What do you even do with free time? I thought free time was the few hours you were able to go to a bar and complain and/or geek out about theory on weekends that you don't work part-time. >:[ Transitional/relaxation periods are the worst. The waiting game is killing me too, especially the whole planning-but-not-being-able-to-act-on-said-plans deal. I scour Craigslist and the off-campus housing lists obsessively, knowing that most of the apartments I am looking at will not even be available by the time I'm actually able to put these plans into motion! And I have to worry about a visa, which I can't begin to acquire until my financial aid goes through, which is... not now, obviously.

Congrats! I am not headed to Concordia, but I am headed to McGill. Are you going to be an international student?

McGill (MA)! Congrats to everyone

Thanks everyone. The weird thing with this school is there isn't really an online form to fill out. But I'll figure it out!

Sorry if this is already being discussed elsewhere - I searched the forums and couldn't find anything. I was just wondering, when declining an offer, should you email both the DGS and the professor with whom you had contact after the offer of acceptance? It wouldn't exactly be a POI, I guess, but rather someone I had talked to about the specific program I was accepted into.

Pernod and retail therapy.

Haha, I know. I am going to PM you

No, I wouldn't have enough money to visit them as I am on the opposite side of the country. I have been to Montreal, though, and I know I'd at least love the city. Are you planning on visiting?

Are you an American student? I'm so anxious to hear back about the rest of the funding they can offer - it's the only thing keeping me from just accepting right now. The other offer I got is pretty much fully funded, but the program/faculty aren't such a perfect fit for me like McGill's are. Plus McGill's placement looks pretty promising. Money sucks.

Hi! I was wondering if anyone here has any experience with the MA program in English at McGill. I have a few offers but I'm leaning towards McGill right now as it seems to be the best in terms of fit and placement, but I do have a better funded offer somewhere else. Any experiences/information would be helpful! Also, is anyone else considering offers from McGill for this fall?? My interests are in performance theory and film/media/visual culture with a focus on gender, so the program at McGill seems super exciting.

I just got an acceptance from McGill. This is making a tough situation for me, because I was offered full funding from uMaine, but the program at McGill is a better fit for me and the PhD placement seems wayyyy better than Maine's. I don't know what to do. The funding opportunities seem shaky to me - holdsteady- did you receive a similarly vague email about English MA funding?

congrats!!!! that's amazing.

I was just accepted to McGill's MA program! With small initial funding but it sounds by the email that more funding will follow???? UGHHH I was also accepted to uMaine with full funding so now I'm so torn.... do I accept the better-funded offer with less prestige or the offer with less funding but way better PhD placement and also more reputable faculty, who are more relevant to my interests? Crisis mode commence.

I had an interview with the director of the program about a month ago. She told me I was first on a list of three people. But seriously, who would pass that up. I almost applied to the program you applied to, but my French is not good enough. It looks amazing though. Hey, here's to hoping we both get the scholarship! Good luck.

Which Erasmus Mundus program/funding are you waiting on? I am first on the waitlist for the GEMMA program and it's driving me absolutely insane.

I actually applied to the creative writing track and I got an acceptance email a few hours ago. Good luck with your interview; maybe we will see each other in September!

which MA programs are still open for applications?

I applied to uMaine and McGill for MAs. Haven't heard anything back yet-- the interview posted for Maine makes me nervous :/ and I feel like I should count it out. Looks like I might be rejected across the board a second year in a row. Although I am first on the wait list for a fully funded double MA in women's studies through an Erasmus program. I don't see why anyone would decline the scholarship, however. Time to give up?

Yep, I was in the English department. Yeah, feel free to message me!