AZMoose

I've met with the program coordinator, who is not a prof here, but is my temporary advisor until my plan of study gets put in with my actual advisor. The three of us have a meeting scheduled next week, but I know the coordinator is sympathetic, but also wants me to give this place a chance. I have a feeling I will get something similar from the prof who is supposed to be my advisor/committee chair. Honestly, it was a bit uncomfortable to have this discussion, but, I am also a grown man and needed to speak up if something feels amiss. The best advice I can give you is be honest and upfront without being confrontational, if that makes sense. Fuzzy gave some great advice as well, and I am rtaking their words to heart. For me the harder conversation will be with my family who really wanted me to come where I am because they are all here as well and I have been living in the Pacific Northwest for years because that is where my wife is from. I will update you after my meeting next week. Feel free to PM me as well if you need an ear to bend or extra support. I know how it feels to be feel like you are on your own or stuck in an unpleasant situation. Best of luck to you.

You are not alone in this situation. This year I landed at what I thought was my dream school, great faculty adviser, good placement rates, a program on the rise rankings wise. I got here, had a great attitude about things, put my best foot forward to be friendly and establish good working (and possibly) social relations, and that is not easy for an introvert like me. But, the culture here is not so much toxic, as it is isolationist. Out of 25 PhD students (approximately), I have met 4, and that includes the one other new admit this year. And of those I have met, none want to have anything to do with me, as in not even a courteous hello when we pass in the halls. The professors are never around. They only come in right before they have a class, stay for class, and then get out. My adviser is great, but now he is expressing a bit of displeasure because my preliminary research is taking me in a slightly different (yet related) direction (let's just say what would have been my dissertation is now looking like a chapter or two instead of the whole thing). My conclusion is I just do not fit in here. At first I was worried, but now I am just at the point where if that is the case, so be it. I can't change me, or the fact I feel very uncomfortable. Trust me, I have tried, but I honestly do not have the time to do my work and assistantship duties, and try to make myself fit where I just do not. So, yes, let them know what you are feeling, and keep looking. That is exactly what I am doing. I do not want to unnecessarily waste their time or mine if this is not going to work out. Best of luck to you, I personally know that this is a hard spot to be in.

Southern Methodist University in Dallas has strengths in Borderlands History. They have a pretty decent funding package if admitted, $20K for five years, full tuition, insurance, and summer research funding possibilities. I was admitted there, so that is how I know the package, but I will be attending elsewhere. You might also want to look into the Arizona and Arizona State and do some research on profs and what kind of Borderlands scholarship is coming out of those schools. Possibly U New Mexico as well. I'm not a Borderlands scholar (I focus on Native American/US West/Environmental), so perhaps just suggesting the southwestern schools seems a bit too obvious. However, they are not bad places to start when looking at potential landing spots. Good luck!

Mississippi State accepts applications until April 1 https://www.history.msstate.edu/academics/graduateprograms/

Thanks for the tips everyone. I am trying to be patient, but I already have two rejections and I am really tired of this holding pattern feeling. OU has been my top choice from day one, I just really hope they fund me so I can get on with life. Good luck to everyone!

Posted this in the 2015 Applications thread as well. Is it bad form or rude to let a school know that you would like to accept their admissions offer, but you really can't 100% commit until you know what kind of funding they will offer? My acceptance to OU is wonderful for me, but I have also been waiting three weeks to see what kind of funding they will offer me. I already have enough debt to choke on, and I cannot add to it, so if I am not fully funded, I really can't attend. I don't want to accept and then pull back either. Thoughts?

Perhaps this should go in the decisions thread, and I will go ahead and copy/paste, but...Is it bad form or rude to let a school know that you would like to accept their admissions offer, but you really can't 100% commit until you know what kind of funding they will offer? My acceptance to OU is wonderful for me, but I have also been waiting three weeks to see what kind of funding they will offer me. I already have enough debt to choke on, and I cannot add to it, so if I am not fully funded, I really can't attend. I don't want to accept and then pull back either. Thoughts?

Good afternoon/evening everyone. I haven't been too active lately because I took off out of town this past weekend. Let the computer, and my wife kept me off my phone. It was nice. Got my rejection from Arizona State this afternoon. Pretty bummed. Right now it is looking like if I don't hear about funding from OU soon I may be out of luck this cycle. Granted UNLV is still an option since they haven't decided yet, but it was pretty much my least preferred option as well. Anyway, congrats to all the new admits. Gotta head out now, will check in a bit later.

Haven't been too active on here the last few days because I've been nursing sick kids and working, but no news on my front yet. Congrats to all the admits this week, and for those of us still in limbo, here is a little musical number for us

One of the main reasons I applied to so few schools is just the staggering cost. The cheapest application was $50, transcript costs vary depending on how ordered and sent (if I needed them faster for a deadline that was nearing it easily doubled the order and shipping costs), and don't even get me started on the GRE. Luckily, some of the schools I applied to did not require official GRE scores at time of application, just self report scores and date taken on the app. But, I will need them if admitted. So, that saved me a little bit of money in the short term. For the mid January deadline schools I had to make some very hard choices as to where my limited amount of money was going to spent. I only hope I chose wisely and I did not turn my back on a possible good thing. See, waiting like this makes a person like me way overthink stuff

Here's to a good news Friday. Unfortunately I am off work today, so I have to figure out ways to not obsessively check for admissions decisions. I noticed the SMU admits yesterday, congrats, and I am guessing since I got no contact either way from SMU that I did not get in. Oh well, I think there were some issues with one LOR getting there on time anyway, so I wasn't expecting much. Chiqui, my hope is to hear from Arizona State next or find out about funding from OU. Happy Friday everyone, and good luck!

Congrats to the Stanford admits. And to those who have only received rejections or radio silence from schools that are admitting, remember it is early, chins up and all.

Josh J., I am in a similar position to you. I am 35, have two kids. I failed out my first year of college at 18, more interested in being a college person, rather than a college student. Went back, got the BA, took a couple years off, got the MA. Now, where I differ a bit is I went right into a PhD program that wasn't a great fit. Add into that that during my MA my drinking went from social and blowing off steam to near destructive in two years. So, I while I have no recommendations about going to a PhD with kids in tow, I do not recommend going as a full blown alcoholic. Especially to a program very far away from anybody you know, and any kind of support network. Failed one semester, ended up dropping out in the second to save myself and the program any more embarrassment. That was three years ago. I have my stuff together now, have some time sober, have repaired bridges with family and original PhD program (who were actually willing to invite me back unfunded on a prove it basis, pretty cool of them), and have dome some work for a local museum. So, when it came time for SOPs, I said what was necessary, but not in overly detailed soap opera stuff. My LORs all know about my struggles and they really helped to guide me through this application process and what to say and not say in the SOPs. I know one LOR put in his letter about how I was able to succeed with family, etc., but that was his choice. Anyway, I think it is great that a lot of you who are posting aren't the students who zipped through BA, MA, and all that as younger students, although props to those who are. I think having some life experience is helpful, and I feel it gives us a bit more appreciation perhaps. Maybe a little more stamina as well

Congrats to all the admits the past couple of days Now that I have my first admit the waiting (on funding decisions and other schools) is killing me. I check the survey page a few times a day (probably a bad idea), and I also look at the past cycles, and one school I really want into (Arizona State) seems to be all over the board from Feb-March the past few years. If I have to wait another month I might crack up. Here's to a good day!

I'm the OU admit. Thanks :-) I've been out of the game a few years, and I didn't have the finances to apply to many schools (4 total). I had to really narrow them down, so it's nice to know I have at least one option. Now I just need to hear about funding, and sit around waiting for the other schools. Good luck to everyone, 'tis the season for nervously waiting.