maelia8

As someone in the humanities, I have had the opposite experience: rather than people finding my subject unapproachable, it seems that everyone has something to say about history, and some have even been comfortable with "correcting" me about historical facts or timelines to my face (if they saw The Tudors , then they must be experts)! There's always something to talk about, but half of the time it's me trying to put on a game face as I listen to someone place my field of interest two centuries out of date or try to impress me with their foreign language skills (which usually means two garbled sentences). Usually I'm pretty patient and am willing to just listen and tell rather than contradict, but sometimes it really gets to me. The worst is when people ask me how I "research" history, since we already know everything that has happened, especially in the 19th and 20th centuries (they read it in a high school textbook, so it must be true!). Some people patently refuse to believe that cutting-edge research can be done in history, and insist that I'm just doing some really advanced training to teach high school social studies. Ah well, I guess it means I'll always have something to talk about!

I have been verbally chastised by friends from cold parts of the upper midwest for complaining about "cool" days here in California (the few ones where you actually should wear a jacket). It's amazing how quickly you can get into the habit of taking perfect weather for granted. I should know better, I used to live in Germany!

I have some friends who live in University Village in Albany, and it's quiet and pleasant, bike-able or bus-able from campus (takes about 25 minutes or so). The thing is that I don't believe the price is worth it unless you actually have a family and preferably a second breadwinner contributing to the rent costs. It is possible to bike in Berkeley - it's not the most bike-friendly city I've been in, but there are designated bike boulevards that are safe to use and if you're experienced in urban biking you'll have no trouble. If you lived in UV you'd also have a parking space, which might be a plus for you. I don't think the waitlist to get in to UV is too bad, as long as you apply in advance. But like I said, it also isn't cheap, and the UC Berkeley grad stipends can get tight if you're overpaying on housing. I'm one of only two first years I know who has saved enough money to afford to live over the summer without a supplemental job or extra summer funding, because I shopped around for a relatively cheap place and was willing to live with roommates. Friends of mine who were dead set on a studio and pay between $1100-1300 per month are really struggling financially now at the end of the semester. Honestly, I think paying anything over $1000 per month is a huge ripoff, as we only make around $1500-$1800 per month, before taxes. I'm always on the lookout for deals and am a bit cheap, though, and some folks I know would say that the price is worth it to be alone and not have to deal with roommates. On the issue of parking, the sticker may help, but be aware that in some areas, just FINDING a spot might be an issue even if you have permission to park in that area. As I said, I honestly wouldn't live in a Berkeley apartment or house unless it had guaranteed parking, because otherwise you may end up wasting a lot of time trying to find parking places.

I nap too, unless I get nine hours at night. For example, I have a morning commitment which necessitates that I get up at 7am two days per week, and on those days I usually take a 45-minute nap in the afternoon between 2 and 3pm. Usually I go to bed at 11 and wake up at 8 so that I get a full 9 hours, but on the days when that's not possible, I take a little power nap in the afternoon just to get me through. Sleep is the best healer - I just can't seem to focus on work unless I get enough, and if I'm feeling tired or discouraged about my projects, a nap will leave me feeling refreshed and reedit get back to the grind.

I am a grad student at Berkeley, and I can confirm what you've already discovered: that the grad housing is vastly overpriced compared to the price of living in a shared apartment, but if you are set on a private studio, you would probably be paying about the same (but in the grad housing you'd be paying that much for a roommate situation, usually with 4-6 roommates, so I don't think it's worth it). The one person I know who lives in grad housing is moving out at the end of this year because a) it's terribly costly considering that it's shared housing and it's right on frat row so it can get very loud there. Jackson House is also in the heart of southside, the undergrad area immediately south of campus, so if you weren't planning on being around a bunch of undergrads, I wouldn't recommend living there. I live on northside where it's quiet and less student-oriented and a pretty nice neighborhood, and I have a room in a 3-bedroom apartment with two roommates and pay $850 per month for my spot with utilities. You can live much cheaper than that if you're willing to live in the less nice parts of south and west Berkeley, around $600-$700 per month for a room in a shared apartment, but I wanted to still be within walking distance of campus and live somewhere where I felt comfortable. You should make absolutely sure that you have a guaranteed parking place if you are bringing a car to Berkeley - in the whole downtown and even most residential neighborhoods, parking is only for 2 hours on the street until 6pm at least, and parking near to campus is pretty much impossible to find for free (you'd have to pay to park in a lot all day every day, which would get very pricy). Some apartment buildings require you to pay extra for a parking space in their garage. My building happens to have free parking included so I had a guaranteed spot, but otherwise I wouldn't have a car unless I lived in a neighborhood with street parking all day (which does exist in some of the residential neighborhoods further from downtown, such as those up by Solano avenue, or in Albany). Feel free to shoot me a private message if you have any more questions about housing in Berkeley

This post belongs in the meet and greet thread, or the city guide thread, as lxwllms suggests. Locking it here and recommending that the OP repost in a more pertinent venue.

Humanities student here, so I don't need to be in a lab, but I definitely find that it's possible to mostly take weekends off if I wish it. However, I am currently in the first year of my program and mostly doing coursework. I have seen firsthand that third-year students in their orals semester literally cannot take off more than a few hours per week or risk failing in their preparation - that exam is no joke! However, I've noticed that students who are beyond this stage once again have the time and flexibility to set their own hours and work on a set schedule if they so please, so this situation appears to be temporary.

I work outside sometimes because my building has a central courtyard with benches that is protected from wind and has trees growing in it to protect one from direct sunlight if desired. I don't think that I would work on an open lawn though, too many people walking by and too much chance of wind.

In my department we are allowed to do side jobs as long as they are no more than "quarter time," i.e. 10-12 hours per week, because a TA-ship is regarded as "half-time" employment based on the number of hours it is supposed to consume. Many if not most grad students that I know have some sort of side job to earn a little money, but most of us do not do things like waitressing - we try to take jobs that are related to academics and will look good on a resume later on. For example, a friend of mine does translation and paper formatting for his advisor's research project a few hours per week, and i work in the research IT department helping with website construction related to digital humanities work. Another person that I know works as an SAT/GRE/college prep tutor. If you find out that you're allowed to take a side job, I recommend asking around in the department or working groups to see if there are any academic-related positions open. Sometimes you can get paid to help with organization and setup of conferences on campus, to name another example.

Thanks for the advice folks, I've submitted a request for reassignment through the appropriate channels and now I just sit back and wait for others to accept or reject their assignments so that I can find out what's available.

@Sigaba The thing is that the significant course in conflict is pedagogy, a requirement for all students that are beginning to teach next semester, so it's actually a pretty legit reason to ask for reassignment because it must be done "in person" and can't be a directed reading or independent study. Unfortunately, the TA assignment is for an upper division course on a complex topic that I know pretty much nothing about (it's not even in my field), so I would need all the help I can get to be up to speed to teach it and I don't think that I could afford to skip half of the lectures even if I could get the professor to agree to a deal like that.

@TakuruK the seminars should have around 10-12 people in them, but I've never heard of a seminar time being changed to accommodate a student's TA schedule around here. I'll ask around to see if that's a thing that happens. @St Andrews Lynx I will ask around, but folks around here tend to be pretty attached to their field-specific TA assignments and unless they have something they really hate teaching, they are unlikely to let go of it. There are actually always a few courses where they don't have a TA set yet at this point, so it would probably be best to go to the admin because she has access to the whole schedule and can let me know if anybody else approached her about switching. @fuzzylogician I'm working on it, but probably won't be able to see my advisor until Wednesday at the earliest (if that), so it might be necessary for me to take some action on my own before then. Thanks for the advice folks, it's good to know I might have other options.

@Sigaba, thanks very much for your concern about the effect of this relationship upon my academic performance and future. I'm happy to be able to inform you that it has had no bearing on my academic performance so far, and I don't intend to let it. I hope that my posts in this thread have not given anyone the impression that I spend all of my time agonizing over this relationship's future to to detriment of all other things - nothing could be further from the truth. I'm not the sort of person who allows my personal life to affect my academic performance, and for me, academics will always come first, at least as long as I'm a student. My relationship is important enough to me that I'm willing to invest time in making it good for me and my partner, but not to the detriment of anything else. To further assuage your worries, I don't have orals for another four or five semesters, so I should have this figured out long before then. @CrucialBBQ, I completely agree with you that bringing up important relationship stuff on a birthday or anniversary can lead to a very loaded interaction, and, while choosing to say "I love you" on such a happy day might seem like the culmination of a great time to some, I can see how it could be interpreted by others as an effort to place pressure on the other person, and I'd like to assure you that manipulation was the furthest thing from my mind when I mentioned this possibility. That being said, I've certainly decided not to pursue that path due to the aforementioned risks, and will find some other way to bring up the subject that is less loaded. It's precisely because I care about this person so much that I've spent considerable time mulling over ways to be honest about how I feel while placing absolutely no pressure on the person to either respond in kind or to change their professional plans because of me. Like you, I've been around the block a bit and know how hard it is to successfully communicate your hopes for a relationship without making your partner feel pressured to have the same ones, and it's because I'm been on both the giving and receiving end of such hopes in the past that I wish to be mature and realistic, but also honest and open in my communication. This can be scary to do no matter how old you are or how many relationships you've been in, so wish me luck

I just received my TA assignment for next fall, a week after meeting with my advisor to confirm a seminar schedule for the term (I'm still in the coursework stage of my Ph.D.). Unfortunately, the course I'm assigned to TA for conflicts timewise with two of the three grad seminars I was planning on taking, and there is only one other grad course in my primary field that I can take next term (and none in my secondary field). There are ways that I can work around this by taking the one other class offered in my field plus a course in my outside field, but it radically shifts my academic plans for next year. Is this serious enough to go to the administrator in charge of TA assignments and request reassignment? We were told only to do this for serious reasons, as it's very difficult for them to work out the TA schedule for over 100 grad students in my department, and impossible to make everybody happy.

Just got my TA assignment for next fall. It presents a time conflict with two of the graduate seminars I was going to take. Back to square one of academic planning for next fall (sigh).

I have two roommates and a boyfriend who lives down the street, and I'm also in my first year at a humanities program. 8:00 wake up 9:00-12:00 either: 1) head to campus and do reading and send emails, busy work, administrative stuff 2) (once a week) go grocery shopping and clean my apartment 3) part time job two days a week 12:00-1:00 lunch 1:00-4:00 class (two days per week) or writing/hard brain work in the campus library 5:00-7:00 work out two days per week, otherwise go home and make dinner at 6 8:00-11:00 reading or hanging out at my boyfriend's place (two or three nights per week) On the weekend I wake up at 9 and don't head in to campus until after lunch (if I'm going in to campus). On one of the two weekend days I like to spend the afternoon outside since the weather is so nice, but I usually do at least 4 hours of work either in the morning or afternoon. In the evening I go out or hang out with friends one night (Friday or Saturday) and on Sunday night I prep everything for the upcoming week.

I'm already here in California and have been since last year, but the drought didn't stop my decision to come here. First off, the drought has different effects in different parts of the state, and there are just as serious drought problems in other parts of the West (such as where my parents live). As a private citizen without a garden or lawn living in an urban area, the only way in which the drought has directly affected me is that I try to take fast showers and wash all of my weekly laundry in one load rather than two or three. It is a long-term problem, but the only thing I can do about it is vote and watch my personal usage.

I feel this conflict. For me, the fear is more not knowing where the heck I'll be when I finish my degree - as in, where will I be physically living, how long might I be there, and will I ever even have the money to support having a child?? If things work out relationship-wise I've even thought about having a baby during the dissertation phase when at least I'll be sure of health insurance and flexible hours, but there's no way to know if that would work out with a partner by then. I've also seen how it can slow the whole dissertation completion process down, but it can be even more problematic to have a child in the first few years at a new assistant professor position, and by the time I'm past that stage I'd be starting to worry that my eggs may no longer be viable (and then we get into the whole cost of adoption or fertility treatments). Sometimes it seems as though the whole thing is fraught no matter how you go about it, and there will be a major sacrifice - of time, of money, of sanity - no matter how you go about it. And the human body does not always obey deadlines either

@rising_star Yes, I actually hope that the "I love you" is able to just come at some random time when it feels right, but I want to be prepared in case the conversation about the future evolves naturally from that.

When my very heavy 2011 15" MacBook Pro dies, I'm definitely going to go for a 13" Air. It's a lot cheaper (less than $1000 with student discounts), and will really save my back. As a humanities student, I don't need heavy processing capacity, so I don't need any specs beyond light and awesome. I don't believe it's necessary to have a Mac, but I've had them all my life (my parents had an Apple II back in the day) and can't imagine using anything else.

I've been writing 1000+ words per day this week for a paper draft due tomorrow. My brain feels like it's been replaced by a sea slug that does nothing but eat and defecate, and I haven't done any of the regular reading or worked on my summer funding proposal because it's as much as I can do to just work on the paper. I desperately just want to go back to bed and sleep for a week, but it's more likely that I will be up until the wee hours finishing the draft and catching up on all of the other work due tomorrow. This has been my hardest week of grad school so far, bar none.

You're right, I should probably just wait for an ordinary day after those two events are over. I doubt we'll be doing anything fancy for the anniversary, neither of us is into big fusses over things like that, but if I bring it up at dinner on that night it would seem pretty loaded.

It's a bit easier for us modern Europeanists in terms of languages. I've only learned German, French, and Spanish, but I am fluent in one and conversational in the two others, so it goes beyond reading knowledge in each case. I can read limited Dutch, Swedish, and Danish (and probably some Norwegian too, but I haven't tried that), but only because of my knowledge of German and English. My program actually only requires modern Europeanists to read German and French, which is nothing compared to the East Asianists, who have to speak at least one and read all of the following: classical Chinese, Mandarin, Japanese, classical Japanese, and usually Korean or Cantonese as well!

Thanks for the vote of confidence, braindump! I think I know what I need to say, I'm just scared of fudging it when I actually try to say it Also, I'm trying to decide whether confessing on our anniversary or on my birthday (which are a week apart) would be a good idea, or whether I should just wait until the fuss dies down a few days afterwards and bring it up casually. Thoughts?

Update: in a few weeks, we will have made it to the six-month marker. For at least a month now, I've been biting back the desire to tell him that I love him, because I'm terrified of what he's going to say. By the end of the summer he will be making his decision about where to take a job next year, and although chances are good that the job would be within this metropolitan area (i.e. within a 45 minute drive of the city we live in now), I don't know how to discuss this with him. I want to let him know somehow that because I'm a mature, rational adult, I understand that he needs to make his decision and follow his own heart and that I won't pressure him to decide to stay for me, but on the other hand, because I love him, I'd be overjoyed if he stayed in the area and I'd be willing to make compromises so that we can stay together (i.e. live in another part of the metro area to be closer to him, drive to see him on weekends, etc.). He is opposed to long-distance (and frankly, I wouldn't see any healthy end to the time spent apart in this situation, which would be my condition for starting such a relationship in the first place). I made a promise to myself that if after six months I was sure I was in love, I'd be honest with him about my feelings (if I don't set a deadline I may never get up the courage). I don't know whether my confession will necessitate talking about the issue of his future location posthaste, but I'd really like to keep that a separate talk (I know it can be pretty intense when somebody drops the L-bomb, especially if you're not expecting it). Any advice on how to navigate both of these interactions in a healthy, mature, and not super weighted fashion? I don't want to make a big deal out if it, and I want to give him time to think about his response if he needs to.