maelia8

@katsharki3 thanks so much for being considerate and stopping if you're too close to somebody else who finds this behavior unbearable for study. For me, the problem is that I can feel the vibrations through the floor and up through my chair, even if they are actually making no noise at all, so even if I can't see it, I can feel it and it's awful. Of course, if the person is too far away for me to feel their gyrations, it's fine by me if they continue. I also don't mind someone doing this in a social situation, such as at the bus stop or at a party - as long as I'm not trying to actually get anything done, I don't mind the jiggles at all

I live with two roommates in a very expensive area, and my bedroom is basically a closet (8x10). It's cozy for sleeping and my tiny desk holds my laptop, but since my space is so tiny and we don't share community spaces in my apartment, I spend ALL of my time at the gym, reading/working at one of a dozen libraries at my large research university, out to eat, or at my boyfriend's place, since he has a studio. I live a 20 minute walk from campus, or a 5 minute bus ride, and it's perfect for me. That being said, if I had a tiny studio to myself, without roommates, I'd probably spend a lot more time there.

@LeventeL, that could definitely help! That's what I did for two years (initially with Fulbright) and it really, really helped my grad school application, as well as giving me a lot of time to think about why I wanted to get a Ph.D. and how to articulate that in my statement. It's a great idea

When the person next to me or across from me in seminar or at a library carrel is JIGGLING their foot endlessly. When that's happening, I have an insane urge to reach out and just grab their knee to get them to stop, because usually they have no idea that they are doing it. When I'm near a jiggler, I can't work, I can't think, and it drives me absolutely crazy, especially when I'm in a situation where I can't politely ask them to cease and desist. The worst thing is when you ask them to stop and they say, "why? It helps me to think." WHY GOD WHY

That feeling when everyone around you is starting to catch that flu bug that's going around and is drug-resistant, and you start hallucinating that you're developing symptoms every two or three days and go home to lie in bed, only to realize that it's a false alarm. The cycle restarts until everyone you know has gotten sick and recovered.

I'm feeling much less motivated this semester than last one ... I used to spend almost every night in the library until at least 7pm, usually 9 or 10, and bring dinner with me, but now I just want to go home and cook and watch Netflix. I'm taking the same course load as last semester rather than increasing it like a lot of other first years in my program, and since I've acclimated, it feels really easy to get my work done this term with less effort than last semester. I feel lame for not amping it up and working even harder, like I'm half-assing it, but this is the last semester before I have to teach and study for orals exams as well, so I want to enjoy some free time while I can, especially since I'm dating someone now and wasn't for most of last semester. How do you get over the guilt of feeling like you're just breezing through when you should be pushing yourself harder and stressing more?

The laundry rooms at my undergrad were always suspiciously empty considering how many students lived there ... maybe they were all just bringing their laundry home! Was I the only person at school who washed (and continues to wash) their sheets and all other laundry once a week, and my martial arts uniform twice a week?

When I got into my first choice, I was overseas so I splurged on an expensive overseas call rather than waiting for my mom to get on Skype and called her live, two minutes after getting the acceptance email, just as she was getting out of the hardware store. It was epic

GAH when your advisor and the professor leading your research course give you absolutely conflicting advice about which direction to take your project and then you start doubting the feasibility of the entire thing and consider starting over from scratch with completely new sources. I respect both of their opinions so much, but it's impossible for me to take advice from both as that advice literally conflicts!

@lickcakes unfortunately, more educated roommates does not mean cleaner, tidier roommates or ones with less weird tics (I have learned this from a LOT of experience). There may be less drinking and partying, but you could still end up with neurotic people and/or covered in filth. In my experience, the most important factors in choosing roommates are similar ideas about cleanliness/tidiness, similar ideas about noise and guests, and a willingness to compromise on cooking and showering schedules. If you're compatible in those three ways, you've struck gold.

@FoggyAnhinga no, it's really weird, I have zero fear of needles! I can get shots no problem, just the feeling of blood being squeezed out of my body makes me feel really really faint and I can't do anything about it (except put my head between my knees). It has nothing to do with fear, it's just a weird reaction that I can't seem to control. I'm not even afraid of fainting since I've done it so many times (a couple of times just watching other people get injured in movies or first aid videos), the recovery is just so awful that I'd prefer to avoid it.

@ERR_Alpha yeah, I'm the same, I pass out within seconds of them inserting the needle and then they stop collecting because they aren't supposed to keep doing it when you're out cold, so I can never complete a blood donation Even when I go to the doctor's and get my finger pricked for white blood cell count, I faint almost every time. It's really obnoxious.

I attend that institution! Are you invited to the official visit day? If so, then you are definitely admitted. Are you meeting with faculty members before visit day (in March) or after? Regardless, don't be nervous, everyone here is really nice Cal doesn't do any formal interviews, so if you meet with profs, it will just be them chatting with you and trying to sell you on accepting and entering the program. If you'd like any further information about the Berkeley history department, I'd be happy to answer your questions in a private message.

These are some really great and thought-provoking responses, thanks folks! I guess the reason why I'd prefer to raise my children veg and then let them decide to add meat later if they want is that a lot of people I know would like to be vegetarian (for ethical or health reasons) but have trouble giving up meat because they were raised eating it and love the taste. It seems to be a lot harder to give up meat than to add it in (for most people). I'd like my kids to be old enough to understand what exactly they are eating and where it comes from before they decide whether or not they want to eat it. I also have no clue how to cook meat (thanks to my veg parents), so if I end up with a partner or spouse who eats it, they will have to cook it for themselves if they want it at home. In my family, my sister, who is also now in her 20s, started eating meat at social events/while camping when she was about 15 and made that choice on her own, without prompting either way. As far as I know, she suffered no adverse effects from starting consumption at a later age. She now eats fish and chicken and, strangely, bacon, but no other red meat. For me, like @busybeinganxious, the idea of consuming meat at this point is distasteful, and I have no desire to start (especially since I'm healthy without it and going without is much, much cheaper). Now that I think of it, it would probably be a problem to be in a relationship with a partner who really loves to cook and also really loves meat. We'd have to cook separately every meal Luckily, I've been the primary cook in most relationships so far, and nobody has complained about my vegetarian cooking

I tried reading 50 shades, but it was so poorly written and far-fetched plot-wise (as well as making BDSM into something it's not) that it just made me laugh, especially the sex scenes. Those parts are funny, but the rest of the book is pretty yawn-worthy. Poor pacing, predictable characters, etc.

@shadowclaw and @Octoberstormxx I guess at some point you have to give up and realize you're not going to change someone's eating habits, even for their own health, unless they want to change I did scare the crap out of my boyfriend the other day by pointing out to him that he's 26, his metabolism is starting to slow down, and if he doesn't want an epic beer belly, it's time to stop getting McFlurries every day of the road trip and cut down on the processed foods and red meat. I honestly think his unhealthy eating habits are more related to laziness/inability to cook than anything else (as he happily eats all of the healthy food that I cook) and that if we were living together and I was doing the cooking, his diet would rapidly improve. It's funny, but this is actually the only "serious" thing where we have a divergence (no problems with sleeping patterns, politics, religion, or morals, just diet/vegetarianism). Since I've actually never had the luck to date another vegetarian, I'm used to this, but I wonder what will happen if I marry a meat-eater. I'd really like to raise my kids veg and let them later decide if they want to eat meat for themselves, but who knows if that will be possible if dad is a diehard meat-eater. My parents were both vegetarians too, so I've never seen this dynamic in action. Anybody have experience with this?

I spend about $50/week on food for myself ($200/month), and my boyfriend (who does not live with me) pays for us to eat out at least once a week because I pay for the food I cook for our dinner at least two nights per week. I only go out to lunch if I fail to buy groceries in time to prep lunch for the one day as a portion of dinner the night before, so that ends up being about twice a month that I go out for lunch and once a week that I go out for dinner. A lot of the student restaurants right around campus are pretty cheap, especially the Asian ones (I can eat a vegetarian meal for less than $10), so I don't feel bad about going out there every once and a while. @shadowclaw I have the same problem as a vegetarian dating a meat-eater, but my boyfriend is willing to eat my vegetarian cooking (especially since he hardly knows how to cook anything and is grateful that I cook so he doesn't have to go out). He just orders meat whenever we go out (and probably goes out for meat on the 2-3 nights per week we don't see each other). I haven't gotten him to eat tofu yet, but I got him to eat vegan sausage and he liked it

Just wanted to say that although I'm not an older student, the oldest person in my cohort (10 years older than me) is literally the coolest and most awesome person in our year. He's an inspiration to me in so many ways and I really value his experience and advice. He adds flavor and perspective to discussion, and since he also went to our institution as an undergrad, knows a lot about the system and is always helpful when I have a question. He's an expert at navigating professor interactions and has truly amazing social skills (he knows what to say in every situation). And this is all on top of being incredibly hard-working, perhaps the most dedicated and committed person in the cohort. I just want to let all of you know how utterly awesome you are for working on an advanced degree at the same time as having many responsibilities, little time, and often other people that you have to take care of beyond yourselves. If the other people in your cohort/department don't respect and value your experience and perspective, they are really missing out

I got my notification from Berkeley on February 9th or 10th, as I recall. I guess I was a weird last-minute acceptance from the first wave?

I have the bad luck to be catching a cold, developing a yeast infection, and suffering through a two-week heavy menstrual period right before classes start today. I feel absolutely awful physically, and I'm starting to stress about being at a zombielike level of functionality for the first week of classes. I hope that I can handle this. Thank goodness I only have one seminar and daily language classes this week.

Thanks for the advice, folks, you're making me feel a little less afraid to take the leap The thing is that until now, I've always gone into relationships knowing that I was probably going to be leaving within a year and have been okay with keeping it casual and low-commitment (I've been going back and forth overseas a lot in the last few years and moving between home and school as well, with an average stay of 10 months or less in each place). Maybe it's because I'm finally settled in one place for a few years, or maybe it's because I'm getting a bit older and starting to seriously consider the possibility of marriage and a family a ways down the road, but I'm noticing that my priorities are starting to shift and that I really want a relationship that has a chance for the long-term and is less casual. I've always been dead set against long-distance before, but now I think that for the right person, I might be willing to try it. Recognizing this shift in myself is as terrifying as it is exhilarating, as for years I've been the type of person to guard my feelings somewhat to minimize impact in the case of a breakup. I realize that being truly in love with someone and maturing into a potential long-term partner involves a whole different level of honesty, openness, and willingness to expose the more delicate parts of your heart, and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now as I contemplate this. I just hope I'm brave enough and honest enough to lay my cards on the table when the time comes.

I'm a 25-year-old grad student and just started my Ph.D. program back in August, which, as it's a humanities program, should take me at least six years to complete. Three months ago I started dating another grad student (age 26) in a completely different field (sciences) who only has one more calendar year to go before he completes his Ph.D. Things are going really well and I'm starting to fall for him, but I'm becoming afraid about what will happen when he graduates. It's too early to tell whether we'll be at a level of love and commitment in a year that will make him willing to compromise to keep the relationship going (such as finding a job in the area, for example). He will have job options everywhere (he's already starting to be sought after by recruiters), but I feel that it's not yet my place to ask him to consider me in his future plans. In fact, he may end up making the job decision before he even completes his Ph.D., so the timeline could be shorter than a year. The bottom line: I'm worried about falling in love and investing my time and energy in something that may have no future (and getting my heart broken). Because I am a Ph.D. student too, I know how important it is to pursue your dreams in your field of choice, and I'd hate to make the decision difficult for him if he found a job in his specialty field that's really far away (he is not planning on entering academia). On the other hand, if in six months I've become deeply in love with him (as seems possible right now), I want to be honest with him about my feelings and tell him that I would like to be a part of his life for the long term. Any advice on navigating this situation? Does anybody have successful stories about dating another grad student, especially one at a different place in their academic timeline? Any help is appreciated, as I'm new to grown-up dating.

I am 25 starting my Ph.D. (skipped the MA but took two years off between undergrad and grad), and I am right around the median for my program. The very youngest are 22 or 23, the older ones are around 27-28, and one person is 33.

I'm feeling the same way, melancholy about being back in this big urban area after three glorious weeks in my small town, being doted on by my parents and hanging out endlessly with my sister and friends. The first time I went to the grocery store and remembered that I was buying food for myself alone and there would be nobody to share it with, the realization was incredibly depressing. I'm trying to start the reading for my research course next semester, but I just keep staring at the documents I picked and don't feel like reading to analyze at all. I read for fun all break and tried to forget everything having to do with school, and it was glorious, but being back in my tiny, overpriced apartment with roommates who are not my friends reminds me that I'm not in Kansas anymore. I really hope that I can manage to buckle down before classes start in a week.

This has been hinted at before by myself and other posters, but here's another helpful thing to keep in mind: there's more than one road that leads to entering a history Ph.D. program, so please don't think that you have do do every single one of the things listed above, in the proper order, and stress yourself out trying to become the perfect candidate while you're still an undergrad. The vast majority of the people in my cohort/program did not proceed on a linear trajectory from Bachelors to Masters to Ph.D., and they did all sorts of things out in the real world in between: working at a think thank, teaching overseas, working for a corporation, even taking a dead-end job in order to save money. Often, it's one of these experiences that really allows you some perspective to step back and consider whether you really want to go back to school and get a Ph.D. Remain open to experiences that may help you as a potential Ph.D. candidate, but try not to become singleminded in that pursuit to the point of eliminating experiences that will make you a richer person but may not directly contribute to your linear application trajectory. Many, many different roads can lead to Rome, and some of them meander more than others, so if you end up on one of those roads, try to enjoy it