coyabean
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Posts posted by coyabean
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I'm with other folks. I wish we were having wine and cheese. LOL Ours is a cookout on the quad. I'm wearing a tunic that will touch as little of my body as humanly possible and leggings to combat the Georgia heat.
For an evening event I'd suggest conservative cocktail attire: a sport coat or polo and khakis for men and cocktail dress or dark pants and blouse sans sparkles and doo-dads for women. Or cross them up if you are researching gender norms and get started on your research out the gate.
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Do people really say 'Obamacare' with a serious face?
To the OP's concern: that is a relatively low cat limit. It sounds like your provider is banking on your relative youth. As a former h&w licensee I think your Dad has been trained to look at every contingency. The fact is that every policy has risk. Looks like your's is catastrophe. The cost, weighed against risk, is probably going to make addt'l coverage unnecessary. If you can get it then you can probably do without it. Sadly, if you could benefit you probably won't be able to get it or afford it. Here, changes to public healthcare could benefit you. On the rare chance that you end up needing something above your cat limit you will probably qualify for medicaid or can go into the high risk pool.
Barring some personal risk factors I would stick with campus plan. YMMV
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When I was applying to graduate schools, the McNair program provided me with business cards to use. They had the seal of my undergraduate university (UT Austin) as well as my contact information, and I found them to be very helpful in the application process. I probably won't get new ones right away as a graduate student, because I won't be faced with the same sort of situations in my first year here that I used my old ones in, but when I met with a student from a school I was interested in, we often exchanged cards as a means of keeping in touch. When I met with the head of the department that I am now part of, he asked if I could write down my contact information for him to give to his secretary, and I gave him one of the business cards. Rather than seeming put off by the formality of it, he actually told me it was a welcome solution to having many slips of paper with questionably legible handwriting to keep up with. Honestly, I would prefer if everyone had business cards, but I guess I am a rarity in the humanities.
What you are is prepared, professional and employable!
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I think this is two different conversations. Business cards at happy hour are different from business cards at a conference. Also, why would first years be handing out cards to peers? I think detractors think it is strange because they are imagining contexts that the OP never specified.
Also, speaking for all of humanities is pretty presumptuous. Things differ at very micro levels.
I can see the logic of business cards, but having them would still be a serious social faux pas in the humanities.
Yes, but it's a different kind of work, with a different style. Other academics are your peers, not customers you're trying to solicit work from. Being a grad student involves a lot of networking and scrambling, yes, but the calculating stuff is mixed in with collegial social interactions. Handing out business cards breaks the polite fiction that we're all equals, and all there for the company and the intellectual content. Maybe the fiction is bad. Maybe we should be more open about treating this like a business. It doesn't matter. Given the current culture, it's just not done.
The only people I can think of who have business cards are high level administrators and deans. The OP risks either coming across as pretending to a much, much, much higher rank than he has, or coming across as being over-professionalized and calculating.
But hey, I tend to react strongly to things. Feel free to ignore.
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I have received cards from students. I didn't think them presumptive arseholes for having them. As I was introduced to most of them by senior mentors their possession of a card had not hurt their credibility. Um, this is one long interview, grad school. A little professionalism could go a long way in a difficult market. My school offers a version through the school print shop with the official seal. I'd already planned to get them.
But, I'm also old at 33 with a decade of work experience. I think standing out, within social norms, is a GOOD thing.
And to copy pamphelia:
Coyabean
Thinker, Hellraiser
Coyabean@letsgogetem.com
Lol
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Like coyabean, I've been trying to create the ultimate workspace in my apartment that will encourage me to finally start being productive at home. I've been doing a lot of browsing online for the perfect (and relatively affordable) desk, bookcase, etc. I would definitely appreciate any advice anyone could offer on creating the perfect study area!
My friend recently told me that Staples delivers to your door for FREE! And because they are actual delivery guys and not UPS et. al they actually bring it inside. This is rather important for me since I'm single, female and don't know anyone. I also discovered that they do free office furniture consultations and have an online space planning tool. I'm using the former to find just the right height chair. I have decided that dangling feet is now on my list of things for which I am entirely too grown. It joings shoes that hurt and poor insurance. :/
For me it's about prioritizing. Comfort and convenience are key. I decided I could sacrifice on style and buying the kinds of pieces one keeps forever. I simply can't afford alot of things that fall into those categories. But, places like Staples, Amazon and Overstock have good intermediate quality stuff that can be functional. I've tried to cull my memories of every office I've ever worked in for little things I found useful.
Here's a question: How many of you are buying furniture in stores (where you can try it) or online (where the selection is larger)? Do you buy new or used? Gsams comment about chairs makes me wonder what everyone's priority pieces of furniture are.
I was just at an Ikea recently looking for a dining room table (which I found!), and my mother-in-law spent a great deal of time ushering me through the little sample rooms and apartments in order.
I used to love the Levenger catalog, with all of their uber-masculine classic leather and wood, but these days I also see that style not being quite right for myself.
As it stands, the office I'm putting together is a hodge-podge of gifted or free furniture. I'll spare the detailed description for now, because I want to hear more about the look of other peoples spaces. Do you have photos up? Flowers? Knick-knacks? Reference material tacked to the wall? Bare table? Clutter-fest? Drawers or shelves or boxes? If another famous person or fictional character was using your current or ideal office space, who would that person be?
I'd live in a Pottery Barn catalog if I could. Alas, I can't afford it. Like you, I'm kind of cold on most of IKEA's style perspective. A lot of it is far too contemporary and cold for my liking. I'm a comfy, texture-y kind of girl. I like fluff and nubby fabric and soft pillows and real wood.
But I have found some upholstered non-office stuff there that I like. But the office stuff has been horrid. I find that most stuff in my pricepoint is from a small group of manufacturers. So, just going to a local mid-range furniture store to get a feel for certain elements and then shopping for it online is my game plan. I've even seen some stuff that's on mainstream retail sites in stores like Big Lots! Unless you're buying very high quality stuff I think its all coming from the same country with lax labor laws. :/
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I also like to talk aloud to myself when I write, which always made writing in libraries awkward...
OMG! Me, too! I maintain that everything I write is really just a transcript of the conversation I had with the paper.
Aural learners.
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Awww. Love this. I'm a bit nutso about the concepts of space and place. I thought it was my age and experience that put this concern so high up my priority list. Maybe its just personality.
Anyway, I just made a huge journal entry about finding and outfitting just the right work space in my new apartment. I am also scouting local spots over the next two weeks of down time. The chairs and writing space have to be just so - I'm short; no dangling feet! - and the energy has to be pitched perfectly.
Other odd things: water, coffee, salty and sweet snacks must be at hand. Basically anything my wayward physical form might demand should be convenient so I don't stop working to satiate the craving.
I am visiting the college town where I earned my first master's degree this weekend. At this very moment I am sitting in the coffee shop where I completed the majority of my thesis (as well as my readings and papers for courses). It made me remember how important place is for graduate studies, and what a big step identifying that place is. I tried working at home, at the library, and at other coffee shops. However, no place was quite right. At my coffeeshop I had the perfect balance of focus and socializing. Many friends worked there as well, or at least knew they could find me here. I miss the coffee shop! In my new graduate student life, I get so much more work done at home, so that's my new space....kind of funny how it changes.
Let's share our stories of finding space and our secret space....mine is Donkey Coffee for anyone at Ohio University....though it's not too secret in Athens!
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Shopping story of the day:
Part of my budgeting strategy is finding pieces that will work in multiple scenarios-- one of my best buys ever was the little black dress that is appropriate for cocktails, weddings AND funerals. Today, I was on the look-out for a dress that I could wear to a wedding this weekend but also use as a dress for going out or looking nice at work. I went to some factory outlets and tried on dresses at every shop there, but in so many cases they were just too expensive for how poorly they were fitting, or how short/low-cut/unprofessional they looked. So, on the advice of a good friend who is similarly endowed, I threw hang-ups to the wind and popped into the maternity store that has ALWAYS had such cute details on dresses.
I'm not pregnant, and not planning on it for a while, but I went for it.
Seriously-- if you ever struggle to find a good fit for your hips or bust, try a maternity store. At all of the other stores I tried didn't have a single dress that was both appropriate and attractive, but at the maternity store I found 4 dresses right away that were not only well-made and very attractively detailed, the fabric was unbelievably comfortable and in a lot of case the dresses had some sort of belt or tie that helps define your waist (the hope being that you could wear the dress over several months of a pregnancy by just adjusting the waist as needed). These dresses are designed with curves in mind, and a lot of the fabrics are knit and draped in such a way that they will stretch in whatever way you need. The smalls and mediums are still sized for women who have a small frame, but man are they ready if you need some room! The necklines are attractive, but rarely so low as to be inappropriate for a workplace.
I left the store with two dresses, both priced at $35 and both perfect for a cute wedding outfit or belted with a sweater and boots/heels for a very nice work look.
Just another idea, for those frustrated shoppers like me
May [deity of your choice] bless you!
I have always been too ashamed to tell the story of the PERFECT blouse I found on clearance at Target once. I wore it and was so excited because it buttoned over my gigantic boobs and yet somehow still fit my waist and petite frame. I wore a few times before I caught site of the tag while doing laundry: Liz Lange Maternity for Target.
I was torn! Do I throw out my perfect shirt in disgust or snip the tag?!
I kept it...sans tag.
But, it is true. I have a waist yet I have hips and breasts. This seems to confound clothing manufacturers who confuse plus size with one shape: namely very, very broad in the middle with normal sized limbs? Therefore, I'm somehow too small for all plus size manufacturers and too curvy in all the wrong places for most regular manufacturers.
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I don't have anything to offer, unfortunately, except commiseration and a suggestion that you also share this over at gradstudents comm on livejournal. You might get more feedback from current students. Best of luck to you.
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Haha! Love this idea -- if you come up with something, make sure to let us here on GradCafe know; a WWJD-type "reminder" bracelet for grad school is DEFINITELY something I could get behind. As it is, I've got notes-to-self galore, but I'm sure nothing -- nothing! -- will stick once I'm (to borrow a Sedaris phrase) "engulfed in [grad school's] flames"
You guys laugh and I do too but I seriously want some kind of talisman like this! A friend gave me one of those stretchy bracelets with all the catholic saints images on them. I'm thinking of rechristening each with something grad school related and wearing it.
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I love this board! So many like minds. I actually have such a list in my journal. It includes:
1. Keep the end game in mind at all times.
This is about having a meta-value that orders my priorities. If I know that the end game is to be a proficient, useful scholar with work of which I am proud? Then all of my other priorities line themselves up accordingly. If something competes with that then it should be excised and avoided.
2. Remember that my dissert doesn't have to change the world; it need only pass inspection.
3. Honor my process.
I can really punish myself by constantly worrying about getting things done, excelling, etc. But when I'm being rational I realize that I almost get things done and I usually do them well. I have to respect my writing and learning process and enjoy the lulls that invariably happen between my moments of hyper-productivity.
4. Respect differences of opinion and perspective but do not let anyone marginalize me or my work.
Never. Again.
5. And on a more personal note I want to keep an eye on my budget. My last year and a half have been bohemian and I've taken a break from being as responsible as I used to be in my "before life". While I don't want to go back to being OCD about every little thing I do realize that this is real life time. I need to keep an eye on money, debt, planning, etc.
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Ooooh, good question. As a non-trad I have written here, extensively, about the importance of space and place in my decisions and my mental health. That is to say that, yes, I've thought about it!
I am a college town girl all the way. Even when not in school I'm in school. It's where the world makes sense to me. So, ideally, no commuter schools or, God forbid, one of those schools in an office park or building. That pretty much makes Chapel Hill and Ann Arbor my dream places. But, being a Southern girl and having so much of my research tied to some of the demography and history specific to the region Chapel Hill is the real dream. I love Chapel Hill. Them not having a competitive program in my fields of interest was a big disappointment. BUT, I am going to a peer institution so maybe there's hope that I'll end up there again one day. Although, I can imagine falling in love with Atlanta when I get there soon and maybe making it my home.
Beyond that a walkable community is becoming more and more essential to my general well-being. Walking is how I manage my weight and my stress level. Being able to incorporate that into my daily life so that I don't have to spend hours on a treadmill like a trapped rat would be nice. I also like temperate weather, diversity and the typical idyllic kind of community: clean, accessible, amenities. I was born in NY and have lived in Chicago and spent a great deal of time in DC. All of that taught me that seeing the beauty in urban landscapes is a particular talent with which I was not blessed. I mean, I can see the beauty in the people and the resources but the idea of living in an old, cramped, decaying building and struggling to find space in a place with such limited space makes me crazy. Three days in Manhattan a few weeks ago and my sinuses were closed, my nose hairs were half singed by the stench of garbage and I would have killed to hear a "hey!" as I walked the streets.
I love the energy of an urban place, though. So a place with some balance between energy that comes from good planning and critical mass without all the ugly stuff. And three bookstores on every four corners. LOL
As far as work in the future goes I am flexible...to a point. That point is my mental well-being. Some snark but I have lived a little while and I have learned that you have nothing if you don't have your health. I interpret health broadly to include my well-being.
I would absolutely take a less prestigious offer in a great place over a high-powered one in a stressful area. For example, I know some won't believe me but I hate Duke and Harvard. I've done work at one and have been to the other and something about both the area and the culture make me ill. Now, this is being said without an actual offer to contend with but I think I'd be hard pressed to suck it up for either locations even though they are two of the crow jewels of academia. I think I'd go into private sector or non-profit work first.
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But let me tell you about the light at the end of the tunnel: A year and a half down the line, I've just finished my first year at my new institution. Over the last year I helped put together a new research group, passed and finished all the coursework required for my degree and on Tuesday the NSF agreed to fund the proposal I wrote to the tune of just under half a million dollars. With all the coursework out of the way and funding secured for the next three years, grad school is looking downright cozy.
Go get accepted and kick ass everyone!
I'll participate in the bumpage because this thread was immensely impactful early in my process. So, thanks bunches to belowthree for his or her candor and genorosity. If more of us were honest and open like this I think fewer wannabe grad students would feel so isolated and defeated before they even begin.
I'm not as far along as belowthree but here's my update so far:
With the "interesting transcript" (as it came to be called by mentor) that you can find in posts upstream I made it into four good to stellar programs. All but one was a PhD program and even that one was an MA/PhD. Two of the four were fully funded and I chose one that, while not an Ivy, is a Tier 1 private school with 5 years of guaranteed funding, a conference budget, and additional named fellowship on top of the standard stipend. In the social sciences. In a horrible year.
I met a women at a conference this weekend who was on the committee that read my app and she remembered me!
So, not only is it possible but it is very possible. We have to work a bit harder to find the right fit and the right people to give us fair consideration but it's out there.
So, chins up to all of us!
The best part? Remember that the minute you start your doctoral program no one seems to care about your UG. Some snits might be comparing pedigrees but it is, for the most part, a clean slate. Take full advantage. I intend to!
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I am seriously thinking about it. I owned a condo once. It wasn't the best decision then because I did it because I could and without any long-term goals. Now that I am more solid in what I want out of my life I am thinking it's a good time to try it again. It doesn't hurt that there are some incredible deals right now in a market I consider a relatively safe bet (Atlanta). My parents have even discussed matching my funds and maybe buying a REO for cash! Even if my career takes me away from ATL after 5 years if I purchase well in the right location I think it could be a great rental and investment. I've seen condos near Emory for under $150k!!!! Jeez. We all said we could put that together. My mother calls it my inheritence. I think, secretly, she's considering it her retirement plan but whatevs. It would let me live rent free for a few years and could be a place to always come back to.
I'm thinking about it.
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I was in the McNair Scholars program and then worked for it. I have a few close (and probably lifelong) friends as a result. It was an atmosphere of constant motivation, not to mention, I think it made grad school seem tremendously easier (I'm just finishing my first year). There is still the unavoidable stress of a hefty reading list and lots of papers to write, but nothing is unexpected and for that I am grateful. I highly recommend it to any prospective grad students perusing this board.
Ditto. It and a similarly funded Mellon program -- MURAP -- changed the entire trajectory of my life. I cannot credit it enough for clarifying my interests, proving I could do it, providing superstar references and getting me into a stellar program. My mentors and cohort are now among my dearest friends and having a supportive environment in which to explore ideas and culture has been invaluable.
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The best parts about a low-income upbringing is that living on a 1500 stipend isn't that much different than any other time in life, and when that 6 figure job drops we'll have the common sense to still live like we do on that 1500 stipend
For real! LOL
I love all of the complaints of the impoverished graduate student life. I've worked -- I mean HARD work -- for that much, if not less. To make that to do something I would do for free? Is insane!
I tell the students I currently mentor in the program I attended last year to remember the importance of contextualizing this kind of typical grousing. When people say things like "hard", "poor", etc. they should ask what they mean by that before internalizing that message. I wish I would think 75k a year is a slave wage. smh
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What does worry me, and what I'm currently working on resolving, is a whole host of medical issues. Whatever's causing my mobility problems needs to be fixed before I leave town or at least to a point where I can manage on my own until I can get a new set of doctors out there. Poke, prod, and evaluate me now, so I can get down to the business of studying later, okay?
Ah, that does suck. I have the inverse problem: I am ignoring every fledgling toothache, lingering pain and reoccurring headache in anticipation of the good medical care and health insurance I'll have again in about 45 days. :/ I've been without for about two years and was too much of a mess before then to really attend to some things that need to happen.
Until then I walk gingerly, don't split poles, knock on wood, and try my best to not tempt karma.
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Amen to it being fun, coya.
I think in a lot of cases here, this is a big change of life. Lots of responsibility, new cities, and new people, and worrying about what we're going to wear on the first day DOES seem fun and much more manageable than all the packing and moving I should be working on. Not to mention the fact that I'm viewing this as a new chapter in my life, and no one will know me or have any preconceptions. Sounds like the right time to punctuate some equilibrium and embrace a lot of new priorities-- including spending more than $10 on a piece of clothing at a time.
Just for funsies, lets talk about style icons: I'm aiming for some sort of balance between Mad Men and the ladies of Indiana Jones.
We are on the same wavelength, poco. This entire journey has been one long lesson in perseverance, maturing and working hard. And that was just to get to the part where I begin to do the actual work! LOL So, yes, thinking of clothes is something I can both manage and enjoy.
This is also, for me, an opportunity to really reinvent myself. Or, rather, be more myself than I've ever been because I've always been a reflection of my family, my school, my peer group, my own image issues, blah, blah, blah. Now I'm like, hells yeah, bring on the cowboy boots and quirky jewelry! No one there will know me from a piece of dirt and I am very excited about that.
Style icons...ooohhh. Ok, lemme think.
While I think about it let's share some polyvore scenes, shall we? LOL
So, it's casual but if I could find a cute little denim jacket like that with some
personality I would be happy.
And here's a doctoral student I actually know with a killer sense of style that I covet so. I'd love to pull something like this off.
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Of course this is all nitpicky and overblown...BUT IT'S FUN!!! LOL
I, too, have considered my "first day of school" outfit. Granted, I set the bar pretty friggin' high with the acid-washed denim dress jumper and shell pink blouse I rocked on the first day of Jr. High.
So, I love beautiful things...but I refuse to be uncomfortable. I'm too old for anything on me to hurt -- my feet, my teeth, etc. -- itch, chafe, or poke.
I have bought some nice sandals this summer to start off with. Lots of the dressier Clarks and Aerosoles. I also saw the most perfect boots from Nine West at the mall tonight that I am emailing my Mom about.
Easy gifting. They are comfortable but quality leather and a good sole and can work with dresses and slacks. Speaking of dresses, I love them as they are the easiest dressing for my...excessively female frame. I've got nice ones from Soma for the first time this year. Easy, one step dressing that can work dressed up or down and layered through seasonal transitions.
I am also a fan of perfect jeans, stacked heel shoes and a knit top or nice collared shirt (often accessorized with a funky belt and jewelry as my waistline has to be defined lest you think I'm a 360 and because they make me happy). The problem is that I haven't found perfect jeans! I've been trying. I want dark wash, good fit, no gap, perfect length. I've had great luck with DKNYs and Hilfigers but right now its all crops and slouchy boyfriend fits. Slouch doesn't work for me. Again, see: importance of waistline.
My biggest issue are shoes. I plan to walk to school as much as weather permits and I am hard on shoes. I wear a good pair all the time and I walk alot and I apparently walk very hard, so, I cannot do poorly made shoes.
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I debated putting it here when I posted but couldn't decide. Thanks, mods!
Also, my friend had a paid Prime account at the time and when she signed up they refunded her and honored the free student account within minutes of signing up. Oh, Amazon, how I adore thee.
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I've had a prime account in the past when I was a gainfully employed adult. I found the shipping was pretty much worth it. Looks like this also comes with book discounts. Sign up here .
- Strangefox, Mr. Wonton and dant.gwyrdd
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Great post.
While it is geared towards "students of color" the Grad Skool Rulz #20 has some transferable points, I think. Being 1st gen college can be a lot like being a minority in academia: isolating, challenging to one's identity, etc.
I did a research program where all of us were 1st generation. We discussed this a great deal. Some of the most common issues were relating how you've changed to family and friends. It can be easy to forget when you're immersed in places like this forum but there are very few PhDs, relatively speaking, in the population. It's, by design and nature, a rare thing to do. When you are 1st generation college or graduate school I think that becomes even more true; you are, to many, a different species.
My father still doesn't get it. He wanted me to go to law school. Everybody knows what a lawyer (kinda) does, professors not so much. So, he still thinks of it as "becoming a teacher." Which is fine. My mother does have a college degree and is a very worldly woman but it is still a stretch sometimes for her. However, she's been more comfortable asking questions and reading about what I'm doing. For instance, the concept of research was kind of getting lost in translation. Then she saw me present at a conference and she "got it." Now, she's always sending me emails "for [my] research."
Friends are less open to asking or finding out. I just say "grad school" and keep it moving.
That means that there aren't a lot of people for you to commiserate with until you develop an "academia family," as I think of mine. These are mentors, classmates, etc. who understand what I'm going through. One such mentor/friend who has completed her PhD told me once not to expect one person to be everything to you. She meant get different kinds of mentoring from different kinds of mentors, ex. the academic superstar with intimate knowledge of publishing politics to the younger scholar who remembers what starting out is like and is amicable to tea and hugs.
I think the same holds true for your family and friends. Discover who can go how far with your new life and respect the knowledge gap. I never forget that there's plenty of things that they know that I don't and I'd hope they'd respect my gap!
Something else mentioned upstream is interesting, too. The idea of the all the secret knowledge in academia. You miss out tutorials about that if you don't have any peers or family with comparable experience. During that research program I kept asking people, "is this in a book somewhere?!" Invariably the answer is no (although Harvard publishes an interesting guide...for their students only:/). It lends to the marginalization along lines of class, race, gender, etc. with which academia is often charged. Things like which is the privileged journal in which to publish, how to negotiate for a spouse's job during interviews, how to date/partner/marry within your academic circle, academic incest, etc. It's a secret code of behavior that we have to be very vigilant about cracking.
Like someone else I drop the ego and ASK! I'm legendary among mentors and senior scholars for asking, "how do you spell that?!" It's my way of slowing down all the theorist name-dropping and acronym slinging. When someone kept saying, "her CV has holes" I made them explain what that means, for example.
I think we just have to not let any inferiority complexes or impostor syndromes prevent us from getting what we came for.
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Summer is winding down. If you're like me you are looking at a moving deadline quickly approach. Also, if you're like me, you think time decided to move at double time and find yourself unable to keep up.
My to-do list seems to be mating with itself and spawning and new entries!!!! It's been 100+ degrees almost every day for the last month. I am unnaturally tired and unmotivated. Packing up my apartment is beginning to feel like climbing Mt. Everest.
Therefore I'm posting a new topic instead of looking at the mound of clothes waiting to be cleaned, sorted and packed. YAY for grad cafe procrastination.
So, where are you guys in the process? Ready to go? Freaking out? Passing out like me?
Orientation
in Officially Grads
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The CIVIC center? UGA is off the chain. Down the road we're having a sedate cookout and no word yet on department social events. :/ Wow. And kayaking sounds like loads of fun. I love it.