volitans

I think about and try to have this conversation over and over as I'm approaching my application season. My husband doesn't like important talks. I've already "put off" moving away by taking a general Masters from my undergrad university. I've got a double-edged bit of persuasion this year, seeing as he's lost five jobs now (in one year). So, as I'm the only one keeping my jobs (which were online-based in preparation), he's not really losing anything! That's my argument, at least. His career is in tech--I think he'd be set in most university-sized cities. He has firm opinions on where he doesn't want to live, obliterating most of the North East and West coast for me. But I didn't have super high hopes of getting into those programs anyway. Truly, I don't know how I'd handle being out of the South. I've never lived anywhere but Texas. I'm also scared I'll stay compliant and not move and just go for one of the several non-fitting programs nearby.

(taking English to mean a wider "literature" definition; hope I'm not a sore thumb!) Another early-reader here, hyperlexic around two years old. My parents are both from very rural, uneducated backgrounds; my mom was sixteen when she had me. But even though they divorced shortly after, both my dad and my mom were extremely dedicated to making me better off than they were. There were two junior colleges in the city and my dad has always been notorious about dumpster diving - he was giving me calculus books to study before I was in middle school. Another consequence of being rural, my mom didn't get a computer until I was 13 - and we never didn't have dial-up while I was there. So, even with the internet, all I could do was read. And before it, reading was all I wanted to do. I read every book in the library of both my elementary schools and my intermediate school (5th-6th grade). I wanted to do it for middle school, but it was way bigger and I only got the wrap-around wall section and three of the rows. I always had the most Accelerated Reader points. For most of high school, I gorged on manga/Japanese comic books in addition to the "books" they had in the library (I'll eternally despise whoever came up with Tayshas and why they think reading the shittiest YA imaginable should be more valuable than every other type of book). None of the classes in English really made me love English on its own - none of the teachers really seemed that into it, even though it was "advanced." The one defining point was in 10th grade, where we were given a list of short stories and picked one to analyze - I chose Akutagawa's "In a Grove." It must have been luck he was on there, because the teacher had no clue who he was. But that was my small taste of real Japanese literature for a while. So I went to college for computer science, because I'd been good at programming already; I stopped reading so much these two years. Then I had a very affecting personal tragedy when I was transferring over to a four-year university. I started reading again, a lot, mostly for escapism and mostly escapist fiction. Kokoro by Soseki became my first entry point into "real" literature, by chance. The one World Literature class I had been taking was the only one that semester I still did well on, because it's the only one I could still care about. So I switched to English. I initially had a kind of weird year of exclusively reading Japanese literature (besides coursework) - more than a hundred books - because I couldn't not. When I wanted to read something, I would just think, "there's a Japanese book for that." But that cemented it as my area of interest. Literature is my chosen field because everything I learn has relevance to it. I read non-fiction in other fields very often, but I know that knowledge is always building upon my understanding of some facet of literature - it's especially more obvious with Japanese literature (like my current binge on kimono). Reading and learning are what have always made me want to be alive.

Thank you! I guess I'm just at a stage where I can't see how it won't be fun - maybe because I'm somewhere where not a single person cares for my research interests. The idea of actually meeting people I can have a conversation with on this stuff seems amazing beyond belief. I'm probably too excitable.

I think I feel your pain, VulpesZerda. I'm a first generation college student and not looking forward to Thanksgiving conversation on the topic. Staples from extended family usually include: "What else they got to teach you?" and "Aren't you done learning yet?" Not to mention the usually-not-hidden assumptions that I'm "avoiding working" by being in graduate school (nevermind that I do have a job! but whether my family considers anything I'll ever do to be "work" is another venting).

I've always had a thing for Verdana 10pt, but I only use it on emails these days. For everything else, as allowed, I stick to the Twentieth Century font family - they're beautiful to me. And condensed versions work excellent for labeling purposes. Most of my professors have a strong fondness for Georgia.

I'm a second-year MA student in English who has just figured out how not-that-hard it is to be allowed to present at well-established conferences in my field. Now I'm kind of going crazy at it. I already have two abstracts accepted for presenting early next year (ACLA and PCA/ACA) - unfortunately, they're back-to-back, one on the weekend after the first. I think I can probably handle that, since I already have most of the research for both of those down. But there are so many CFPs. And I can mush my research interests to fit with a lot of the large ones. There are two others particularly I want to submit to (ICFA and SWPCA/ACA) - but one is the week before the one that is already the week before the other! And the other is only four weeks before that... I'm already miffed that one nearby overlaps with one of the other two I'm already in. Does anyone have experiences overloading themselves on this? I'm worried especially since I've never even been to one, though I don't worry too much about not having anything to say. Three back-to-back seems like it might be hell, even though each one sounds like it will be extraordinary fun. Another factor: I'm good at finding excuses, so even without a travel grant (my university in no way subsidizes anything), I can justify it. My mom always wanted to go to New Orleans, so she's gung-ho about coming along. I have a sister-in-law near Orlando, so why not take that week to visit? etc. etc. So the travel funds aren't a deciding concern. I've also put off PhD applications a year due to not feeling ready; I think I'm using these to fill the void. I know a high conference-to-publication ratio isn't seen as a plus, so I plan to do more there as well. But still - these seem so exciting! Is it easy to burn out like this? Is it more worth it to pace myself (I don't even have any for the later half of the year yet; seems like none are open)? Particularly, anyone have experiences with the atmosphere of those conferences?

1. Book Cheerleader (a.k.a. reviewer). No outright qualification needs here - just a better ability to write and a column opening that would take me. 2. Japanologist. Is it okay to aspire to be another Lafcadio Hearn or Donald Richie? Unqualified: rolled a zero on charisma. 3. Collection Curator for an eccentric rich recluse who allows exorbitant funding for any area I wish to curate. Qualified: I can spend money. and of course, a 4. Literature Professor, who makes TAs do the intro courses and only ever has to teach upper-division lit-major courses. Unqualified.

Thank you for the advice! I'm certainly passionate about my field - the problem is that I'm in a program with zero fit for it. It's English literature, and I do other areas of literature. It was a bad choice, but I've decided to complete the degree anyway. So, I'm not able to talk about my work, my translations, my editing or the knowledge I have with them. It makes it difficult to impress anyone when my area is written off. I know it's usually sarcasm-in-good-fun, but a lot of the professors like to outright joke that Eastern literature doesn't matter... The one time I called on a professor after class when he said that, I regretted it for months, knowing how annoying I was and uninterested he was in retrospect. I've had good conversations with other professors, but they were usually one-time ones (and hours in length). I'll try to have more of those, and hopefully not continue to be terribly awkward! Haha, I could probably use a counselor. Thank you for the reassurance! I'm hoping to still rescue all these lost connections.

No student center specifically for graduates - but the program is small enough that I know every other student in the program already. I'm just not friends with them... How strange would it be to suddenly barrage people I've casually known for 4+ years with attempts at friendship? I've already tried it with one, but my email and message were ignored (and he's still using both methods of contact I used). She's the only professor there in any way related to my field (she's Chinese literature, I'm wanting to go into Japanese literature). But she's not my advisor, who I could probably ask for something - but I wouldn't be doing anything relevant to what I actually study. I decided to go the route of getting significantly more published in the next year, to have something to distinguish me for my PhD - I guess in the end I'm just wanting a professor to care and encourage me in that. It's really demoralizing to have zero support (part of why I joined here!).

I love this feature! If you've been applying to any jobs in your field lately, or any at all - you get to see who Googles you. It's always a warm feeling. Related to academia.edu in general - how much does everyone here use it? Is it worth creating documents with the almost-sole-purpose of beefing it up (in addition to just practice)? I've been working on syllabi, assignment sheets and reading guides for dream courses I'll likely never get to teach, but they would look nice on there and could be helpful to others.

I've had severe social anxiety since my teenage years. That I ever managed to navigate the beaurocracy of getting to attend university on my own still surprises me - but going through all that, I made a LOT of mistakes. Especially with my relationships with professors. I've been in my MA for one and a half years so far, with one year to go - and I've only just recently got "into gear," wanting to make connections and actually have worthwhile professional relationships with my professors and classmates. Mostly inspired by the fear that when I ask for a letter of recommendation from the professors I had in mind, they'll just say "Who?" And the realization that in six years of higher education I haven't made a single friend. It took a very long time and a very close death to realize I shouldn't be scared of everyone. Last semester, I arranged for an independant study in translation with one of my professors. Circumstances later caused me to cut down to part-time this semester, so I ended up unable to take it. Mistake one: I didn't let the professor know until I was into the semester already. I sent an overly heartfelt email to her talking about all the related academic experiences I had recently and asked her for PhD advice, while also explaining why I had to put off the independant study a semester and asking if she would be willing to review preliminary translations in preparation. She responded rather tersely that she couldn't do that if I wasn't registered for classes. Meaning the email was likely skimmed. I apologized for being unclear and asked if it would still be a liability issue. She said that no, she could, but "I would suggest you not to take an independent study nest semester, though." Did I ruin things entirely? Is this the wrong way to reach out? I feel so alone in graduate school - I thought I would have professors who could look over the work I've done and give out advice. Or something at all. Should I be trying to find friends in peers instead, for this kind of thing?