wordslinger

Well, my vantage point is somewhat different, so I thought I'd share. I applied for grad school the first time right out of undergrad, and, of course, was universally rejected, despite an excellent GPA, papers, etc. So I shrugged and stepped away from it for a while. I have spent the last ten years teaching high school English; I began that endeavor out of practicality, but I have stayed because I love it. It's a different game than teaching college comp or lit, but it is often just as interesting in terms of the intellectual work I do. High school kids are eager to learn if you frame it in the proper manner, and they are less jaded than undergrads. Now, after ten years really teaching and thinking, I'm no longer speculating about my research interests. I know what I am interested in and why. Plus, I have an actual pedagogical philosophy, not a series of buzz words or theory without practice.

In the fall I'm back to full-time working on my PhD, and I'm really excited to have this opportunity. So I guess I'm trying to say a couple of different things. One, life is not a race to see how quickly you can fulfill your dreams (IMHO). And two, there is a world out there where you can teach all the literature you like to people who are in desperate need of smart, engaging, passionate teachers.

Good luck to you all!

I really relate to this issue too... I took my husband's last name when we married but have since divorced. I had my first publication in a national journal in January, so I used my maiden name and am in the process of returning to that name in all ways (driver's license, bank, grad school, etc.). I really could not imagine publishing and working under somebody else's name.

I may eventually marry again (or maybe not!), but I think I'll not change my name again, probably for equal personal and professional reasons. As for the OP, I know no one enters a marriage thinking about the possibility of being post-marriage, but my advice is that a woman has to take care of herself, look at her own interests professionally, financially, personally, etc. And relationships can be happy whether you share the same last name or not. If you were to have children, they would be fine. I know many children who do not share one (or even either) of their parents' last names and they seem untraumatized.

Good luck with your decision!

I can relate! My son is 7, which is much easier than a baby, but I am a single parent. My master's wasn't easy on my own, and I'm sure the PhD won't be easier. But at least now that he's in school, we can do our homework together.

Congratulations on the new baby!

I can relate! My son is 7, which is much easier than a baby, but I am a single parent. My master's wasn't easy on my own, and I'm sure the PhD won't be easier. But at least now that he's in school, we can do our homework together.

Congratulations on the new baby!

I can relate! My son is 7, which is much easier than a baby, but I am a single parent. My master's wasn't easy on my own, and I'm sure the PhD won't be easier. But at least now that he's in school, we can do our homework together.

Congratulations on the new baby!

Well, my vantage point is somewhat different, so I thought I'd share. I applied for grad school the first time right out of undergrad, and, of course, was universally rejected, despite an excellent GPA, papers, etc. So I shrugged and stepped away from it for a while. I have spent the last ten years teaching high school English; I began that endeavor out of practicality, but I have stayed because I love it. It's a different game than teaching college comp or lit, but it is often just as interesting in terms of the intellectual work I do. High school kids are eager to learn if you frame it in the proper manner, and they are less jaded than undergrads. Now, after ten years really teaching and thinking, I'm no longer speculating about my research interests. I know what I am interested in and why. Plus, I have an actual pedagogical philosophy, not a series of buzz words or theory without practice.

In the fall I'm back to full-time working on my PhD, and I'm really excited to have this opportunity. So I guess I'm trying to say a couple of different things. One, life is not a race to see how quickly you can fulfill your dreams (IMHO). And two, there is a world out there where you can teach all the literature you like to people who are in desperate need of smart, engaging, passionate teachers.

Good luck to you all!

Well, my vantage point is somewhat different, so I thought I'd share. I applied for grad school the first time right out of undergrad, and, of course, was universally rejected, despite an excellent GPA, papers, etc. So I shrugged and stepped away from it for a while. I have spent the last ten years teaching high school English; I began that endeavor out of practicality, but I have stayed because I love it. It's a different game than teaching college comp or lit, but it is often just as interesting in terms of the intellectual work I do. High school kids are eager to learn if you frame it in the proper manner, and they are less jaded than undergrads. Now, after ten years really teaching and thinking, I'm no longer speculating about my research interests. I know what I am interested in and why. Plus, I have an actual pedagogical philosophy, not a series of buzz words or theory without practice.

In the fall I'm back to full-time working on my PhD, and I'm really excited to have this opportunity. So I guess I'm trying to say a couple of different things. One, life is not a race to see how quickly you can fulfill your dreams (IMHO). And two, there is a world out there where you can teach all the literature you like to people who are in desperate need of smart, engaging, passionate teachers.

Good luck to you all!

I really relate to this issue too... I took my husband's last name when we married but have since divorced. I had my first publication in a national journal in January, so I used my maiden name and am in the process of returning to that name in all ways (driver's license, bank, grad school, etc.). I really could not imagine publishing and working under somebody else's name.

I may eventually marry again (or maybe not!), but I think I'll not change my name again, probably for equal personal and professional reasons. As for the OP, I know no one enters a marriage thinking about the possibility of being post-marriage, but my advice is that a woman has to take care of herself, look at her own interests professionally, financially, personally, etc. And relationships can be happy whether you share the same last name or not. If you were to have children, they would be fine. I know many children who do not share one (or even either) of their parents' last names and they seem untraumatized.

Good luck with your decision!

questions about disciplinary distinctions
petals on a wet black bough

questions about disciplinary distinctions
petals on a wet black bough

Hah! I deliberately chose my supervisor in part because he has a strong record of buying his grad students drinks. And also of publishing. It's probably more a matter of personality fit than professionalism. I have complete faith that my supervisor will be rigorous, available, organized, and highly competent as well as a total lush. I've been drinking much more regularly with my first reader, but that's because 1) I took a class with him and he knows me better than my supervisor does, 2) he's really young and brand new, so easier to talk to, and 3) he's an even harder drinker than my supervisor. I find going for drinks with him to be really useful, and really calming. He'll tell us about travel opportunities or scholarships we might now know about, talk through our projects and give honest feedback on them, reassure us about our output, clarify what's going to really matter when we're on the job market.... and now I'm making it sound like a professional development seminar in a bar, but this is all scattered through genuine conversation and a really fun evening. Hell, one of my best school friends literally came up with the core idea for his dissertation in a bar with this guy. It was all scribbled on a coaster.

All of which is to say that I can totally understand being uncomfortable drinking with supervisors, and I think it makes sense to pick a school and a supervisor who fit with your comfort level. Likewise, there are people who are comfortable with that set up, and can actually benefit a lot academically from it. I don't think there's anything more or less professional or appropriate about the latter. To each their own.

questions about disciplinary distinctions
petals on a wet black bough

questions about disciplinary distinctions
petals on a wet black bough

questions about disciplinary distinctions
petals on a wet black bough

I think we are all going through a very stressful time period right now... it's the end of the semester, decisions are made/about to be made regarding school in the fall, and things are altogether hectic. But I must admit that I prefer these English forums when we've got each other's back, you know?

That being said, I am an insensitive galoot in real life and rarely discern straightforward, personal insults, either on paper or in person, and yet the tone of the OP's comments raised my hackles. I think, as a previous poster mentioned, it's the whole talk of "low ranked" and "high ranked" programs, perhaps combined with my middle-class upbringing and the over-emphasis on ranking and achievement as a measure of success. I don't think Americana was intentionally hurtful in her comments, and a considerable portion of my reaction to them has little to do with her original intention anyway.

Better to talk it out than not.

I think we are all going through a very stressful time period right now... it's the end of the semester, decisions are made/about to be made regarding school in the fall, and things are altogether hectic. But I must admit that I prefer these English forums when we've got each other's back, you know?

That being said, I am an insensitive galoot in real life and rarely discern straightforward, personal insults, either on paper or in person, and yet the tone of the OP's comments raised my hackles. I think, as a previous poster mentioned, it's the whole talk of "low ranked" and "high ranked" programs, perhaps combined with my middle-class upbringing and the over-emphasis on ranking and achievement as a measure of success. I don't think Americana was intentionally hurtful in her comments, and a considerable portion of my reaction to them has little to do with her original intention anyway.

Better to talk it out than not.

I am sorry but this thread is such a hilarious example of "white people problems." Oh no, your boyfriend won't get his Ph.D. until two years after you! The horror!

My boyfriend has an associates degree and grew up in a trailer park. This has very little to do with how I view him as my partner. He is one of the smartest people I've ever known, he's just not great at structured learning. Amazing self teacher though. He's probably a better learner than me in a lot of ways even if I look better on paper.

One thing I've learned with time is that I care less about the status of my partner than how he treats me. If your priorities are different that's your decision, but don't punish your (apparently very loyal) boyfriend because of it. Either deal with it or leave him and find some bajillionare with 3 doctorates to date.

Agreed, it is never a bad idea, and everyone going into this needs to know exactly what sorts of odds they are facing, especially in lower-ranked programs. And I really am glad you brought your German-inspired bluntness (this also happens in Vietnam - my friend living there was first told she was too skinny and then later, "You're getting so fat and white!") to the question. These are doubts we've all had at some point, but arguing against them reinforces for me why I made the choices I have, like reapplying this year. Believe me, teaching high school seniors at a private school has made me pretty weary of the snowflake syndrome and general sense of entitlement. If another of my kids complains that they shouldn't have gotten a D because they tried their hardest, I'm going to vomit. But again, your assumption is that that is what is necessarily at work here - that you are the truth-teller (the ACTUAL special snowflake!) and the rest of us are just living-in-illusions snowflakes. It's not the question itself that is problematic, but the implication of judgment and, more than anything, ironically, a sense of that very entitlement itself lurking underneath the surface of your posts!

I think essentially we all agree and are well-aware that more prestigious schools will open more doors (though why are you hatin' on Indiana? It's juuust barely out of the top 20, and from what I understand, for Victorian lit it could hold its own with much higher-ranked schools). The quibble most of us have, though, is the assumption that if you are not lucky enough to be accepted into the top 20 (and are we really putting this much stock into US News and its 35% reply rate surveys?), it's a stupid move and not worth it to go. That's where the "worldview, different goals," etc. stuff comes in. A little self-reflection is a good thing to call for, but I mostly take issue with the assumption that if these people actually self-reflected, no one in their right mind would go to BU or Rice or re-apply, because that's what YOU would decide. Give people some credit - we're all adults here. Consider the possibility of a different value system. And seriously, when I say "different" that's not bullsh*t sugar-coated snowflake talk for "lower" or "worse." It's just different.

You're right that you'll have a better shot of getting a nice job at an Ivy, but as foppery points out with his/her anecdote, even that's not a guarantee. Pots and kettles, remember! This is not a very practical or financially smart move for any of us, even if you're going to Harvard. At any rate, yes, it's never a bad idea to question yourself and whether this is really the right way to go. The problem comes in judging each other, or thinking that because you've had the opportunities and, I would daresay, luck (and with these odds, I do consider my success this round to be partly due to luck), you're charmed. So I would say, ask yourself the same question! If, after you get your Ivy Comp Lit Ph.D., you can't get a TT job, will it have been worth it to you? If the answer is no, well, I might ask the same of you that you've been asking of others here: reflect.

As long as we're characterizing entire cultures, the nice thing about the American perspective is that ostensibly it's open to different viewpoints and backgrounds, whereas this other, harsher one assumes that its own standard is the only standard that exists. I mean, hell, I'm going to produce the best work I can at my top-25/top-20/top-10 (gah get me off these waitlists!) program and try to meet that sort of standard, but I'm aware that if I don't, I will be meeting more personal standards of success. Snowflakes!

Well, my vantage point is somewhat different, so I thought I'd share. I applied for grad school the first time right out of undergrad, and, of course, was universally rejected, despite an excellent GPA, papers, etc. So I shrugged and stepped away from it for a while. I have spent the last ten years teaching high school English; I began that endeavor out of practicality, but I have stayed because I love it. It's a different game than teaching college comp or lit, but it is often just as interesting in terms of the intellectual work I do. High school kids are eager to learn if you frame it in the proper manner, and they are less jaded than undergrads. Now, after ten years really teaching and thinking, I'm no longer speculating about my research interests. I know what I am interested in and why. Plus, I have an actual pedagogical philosophy, not a series of buzz words or theory without practice.

In the fall I'm back to full-time working on my PhD, and I'm really excited to have this opportunity. So I guess I'm trying to say a couple of different things. One, life is not a race to see how quickly you can fulfill your dreams (IMHO). And two, there is a world out there where you can teach all the literature you like to people who are in desperate need of smart, engaging, passionate teachers.

Good luck to you all!

That's the thing about ANY theory you try to write about/engage with... you can never read everything or be aware of every facet of the convo. So you just have to define your parameters every time you try to articulate your position (and hope that the person you left out wasn't THE person to read).