fernandes

I just accepted my offer to go to Rice University as a PhD student! Exciting!

I just accepted my offer to go to Rice University as a PhD student! Exciting!

Hey Ayman, 
I think the best way to do it is to either check with faculty from your home university if they know any professors in the US (especially at universities you're interested in) or to email professors that you're interested in working with. You can go to the department's page within any University you like, check the research areas and email professors for possible research internships during the summer.
I don't have much experience in this topic, but I think I could be right.

I too cook in crock pots all the time.  I agree with everyone talking about crock pot meals.  They are just so easy.

I also like this website/blog a lot.  There are tons of great ideas for budget/cheap meals that still taste great.  Most of this stuff freezes well too so you can make a meal, freeze half of it, and eat the rest a week or so later.  

http://www.budgetbytes.com/ 

Yes, fortunately my possible adviser said it's okay with her to either work as an RA or get an internship, so that's a great thing. I thought it was thoughtful of her, since she could not guarantee a summer stipend but she does not disapprove an internship during the summer, giving me more career and funding options.
Thanks for pointing it out though!

@fernandes: Great to hear! Taking on an extra side-job (they have lots of different names) is a great idea to make some extra money. It can help to break up the monotony as well.
You're absolutely right about the taxes, sometimes only your TAing positions are taxed and not any fellowship or scholarship money that you receive. I know for my school, I will only be taxed on TA income (I'm not sure about supplemental RAships, it may count to those as well), but not on external or internal scholarships or the money that pays tuition. These are all questions the administrators at your school should answer.
I agree regarding not knowing what you want to do. Many people are in PhD programs after spending years or decades of not knowing what they want to do. I think there's nothing wrong with focus on the cost and benefit of each degree, considering the increase of people getting advanced degrees and where you want to stand within that, and thinking about many different options for your future. In my personal opinion, people who do that instead of blindly following what they have previously done or what people say is best for them make better decisions that make them happier.
Anytime! Best of luck to you!

@eternallyephemeral: yeah, I've been trying to get as much information as possible so I can make a better decision.
In regards to getting a PhD and going into industry, multiple schools have something called Versatile PhD, which is an online resource to help humanities, social science, and STEM graduate students and PhDs in all fields identify, prepare for, and succeed in non-academic careers. I think that participating in this program and its events could help me prepare for possibly working in industry.
I will make sure I get everything sorted out about the taxes. Maybe they'll only tax half of my stipend, or something like that. So thanks for the advice!
Saving money before I know of my summer situation seems to be the smartest thing to do. I was also thinking that it could be possible to work a few hours per week on no-contract jobs (I don't know the best word for it, sorry) such as babysitting or in a catering company on Friday or Saturday nights. Of course I should not count on those, but maybe I could find something like those.
I really like science, learning and research, but I'm still not sure if that's what I want for my career. And yes, I also don't think is the worst thing in the world. I have a bunch of friends that are not certain of what they want to do with their career at their 20's as well. So thanks for the empathetic words.
 
Thanks for helping!

I don't know too much about the cost of living in Houston, but I am from a large, relatively extremely expensive city in Canada and I've been living on around $12k. For reference, the average one-bedroom costs $1500 and I pay $600 (I've got a roommate in a great place). If you know about costs in Houston, you could perhaps compare to these numbers.
As you mentioned, this is your 9-month stipend, and you could get some extra money in the summer through various means. Could you contact students that are in the program now and ask them if these opportunities actually work out? It's one thing for the school to say there are extra TAships or internships, but its another for the students to reliably get them.
I may be coming from another perspective, because I think that sounds like a middle-of-the-road offer and in my experience, it's difficult to get in as an international student, let alone to get sufficient funding. But the term sufficient could mean different things to different people.
 
The most important thing to focus on, more than the things your family might be concerned about, is whether you are prepared and willing to do the very long commitment of going through a PhD program. It's okay if you don't know exactly what you want to do. But if it requires a PhD and you're passionate about that job and about everything you'll have to do within the PhD, then you can get through the tough times when you don't feel great about what you're doing, and you're questioning what the point is.
I wouldn't worry at all about being 30, unless you have a problem with starting your career at that age. We'll live a long time, we hope, and you have tons of years to work. Starting later is very common and completely understandable.
 
Your job now should be to research jobs you may want to do, and if they are in industry, then look into the difference in salary between having a masters and a PhD. If it's a lot and you want the PhD level, it can sometimes make financial sense to be in a longer program. Adding the difference between a funded PhD and an unfunded Masters, if the PhD opens doors for you, it does seem worth it. That's a decision you have to make though, and it requires a lot of commitment.
 

A couple things.
1) 30 is not that old, and is actually pretty young to begin an academic career. Most new academics are in their late 20s and early 30s because of the amount of time it takes to finish a PhD and a postdoc or two. It's maybe a little older than many people begin an industry career, but right on target for people who do a PhD and enter industry - nobody would expect you to be younger than around 30 knowing that you had a PhD. So don't worry about that. I'm 29, and lots of people in our parents' generation are concerned about age in a way that we don't have to be - they got married and bought houses and had kids sooner, but we're delaying all those things in pursuit of education and career. To them by the time they were 30 they were already in the workforce for nearly a decade and maybe had a couple kids, whereas to us that's maybe unthinkable. I started my first PhD-job when I was 29 and nobody was concerned about my age at all. (I sympathize because my mom harped on this too - that I would be spending my "best years" and my fertile years in graduate school rather than making money and potentially having babies. Ugh, lol.)
You should note, though, that you probably won't be 30 when you start an academic job. More likely, you'd be 32-35, because these days most professors (even in engineering) have done a postdoc or two for 2-5 years before beginning an academic position. So keep that in mind.
2) Professors don't make a whole lot of money in the U.S., either. The average starting salary for an assistant professor is around $68,000. Of course that varies based on the job - science professors do tend to make more (and engineering professors the most), and professors at research universities and more prestigious universities make more than professors at teaching colleges and less-well-known colleges. I would say as a beginning engineering professor you could probably expect to make $75-90K. In my book that's plenty, especially in most localities in the U.S. - but of course you could make a whole lot more as a PhD-trained engineer in industry (or even as an MS or M.Eng trained engineer in industry). That's up to you, though; most people who enter academia don't do it for the money. They do it because they love research and are utterly dedicated to the independent, scholarly pursuit of new knowledge.
THAT said
3) $18,000 is a really low stipend - for anyone, but *especially* in engineering. Engineering PhD stipends are almost always north of $25,000, with full coverage of health insurance. Even though Houston is lower COL than, say, New York or Boston - $18,000 doesn't sound like enough to live on. Personally I would not accept an offer with a stipend that is not enough to live on and with less than 100% health insurance coverage, and I wouldn't advise anyone else to either. In that sense your father is right - you may struggle, and it may be kind of miserable.
You won't be making $2,000 a month. You'll be making $2,000 a month before taxes, which is really more like $1,600-1,700 a month after taxes.  Even if they don't take taxes out of your stipend you will still have to pay them in April when you file, although I don't know exactly how that works for non-U.S. citizens. And that's only if you divide the stipend by 9 months: if you divide it by 12 months, then it's closer to $ $1,200-1,300 a month after taxes, which doesn't sound like enough to live on at all. Check and ask whether this is a 9-month stipend or a 12-month stipend.  If it's 9 months you may be able to pick up additional RA work over the summer to cover the other 3 months of the year, but that also means that you'd have to scramble every year to find that (will probably be easier the more advanced you get). But remember that most PhD students don't go home during the summer: they get an apartment with a 12-month lease and they stick around during the summer to do additional research and write publications.
4) It's really common for the combo of excitement and imposter syndrome to motivate people to choose paths they wouldn't otherwise take, including a PhD. Of course it's exciting that you got into a prestigious PhD program and makes you feel a little like maybe you didn't deserve it - maybe you were borderline, just scraping in, etc. Know that *everyone* feels like that, and moreover, it's probably not true. Even if it was, it's irrelevant. Furthermore, if you were good enough to get into a PhD program at Rice, that means you are good enough to do a lot of other things too. So don't value the difficulty of getting into the program when you make your decision, because that information is irrelevant when it comes to deciding whether or not the move is a good one for your career.
5) This is *not* a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Please don't view it that way, because that may lead you to make a decision you don't want or need. If you got into a prestigious PhD program one year, chances are very good that you can get in again later. Graduate school is always going to be there. (Besides, even if it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, it wouldn't matter if you didn't want it, or it didn't help you get to your career goals, or if the opportunity wasn't that great to begin with.)
My major concern here is that you don't know what you want to do after the program, which to me indicates that you probably shouldn't start a PhD - although opinions will vary on this.
My thinking is that you have access to most industry jobs with just an MS, which typically takes two years. A PhD in engineering can take 5-6 years. So by pursuing an MS, you are sacrificing 3-4 additional years of salary and saving for retirement. You're also signing yourself up for 5-6 years of hard work and stress that might be unnecessary (because even if you love the work, a PhD program is stressful!) Why lose out on 3-4 years of salary and add stress if you don't need to, and your career outcomes are similar? Especially if you can always choose to return to get a PhD later after getting an MS?
Others might say that you should go ahead and get the PhD either way, because particularly in engineering you'll be able to get a job out of a PhD program with it. You may only make slightly more than you would with an MS (if at all), but the PhD is usually funded so you will have little to no debt. You'll also open yourself up to a greater number of jobs - both in industry (as many industry research positions require a PhD) and in academia. And it's sometimes more difficult to return to do a PhD after you've worked for a few years, gotten out of the rhythm of being in school, and gotten used to the lifestyle afforded by an actual income. I don't disagree with some of these arguments, and it's information to consider. While I wouldn't do my PhD over again if given the chance, if I had to do it I would say my 20s were the right time, and it did allow me to be considered for (and hired into) jobs that required a PhD.
The caveat here is the academic career. If you have even a little bit of a desire for an academic career, you should seriously consider the PhD program. The only route into an academic career is a PhD. (However, I still might not attend a program that provided me with an $18K stipend. That just sounds like a recipe for disaster. I wouldn't have wanted to live on $18K even in the small college town at which I did my postdoc, much less a city like Houston).

Hi! I'm actually a senior undergrad student and wanted to chip in. I've stayed in apartments and as long as you don't keep rather expensive things in your car and lock your doors, you shouldn't feel too worried about theft. I've lived in a few apartments for the past few years and the worst that has happened was people rummaging through my car when I forgot to lock it. I've even left valuable things in there and for some reason they've never been stolen. Since then, I've always locked all doors and it's never been an issue. Also, there is a facebook group where students (undergrad and grad) both look for affordable places near the university. The link will be below. Just want to make sure you don't limit your options so soon :] Hope this helps!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/845844578762879/

If you haven't yet, I recommend that you check this out: http://chronicle.com/article/NRC-Rankings-Overview-/124708/
After looking at the numbers on this site, I was able to make a more informed decision.  When you look at the US News rankings, it gives you a single ranking.  Dartmouth's PBS program, which I'm starting in the fall, was ranked in the middle of the pack.  However, after looking at the numbers here, I was able to see that after controlling for 'diversity,' Dartmouth is a top tier program.  Of course, diversity is important, but for me was not a game changer.  In fact, the program is tied for 1st place for student outcomes.  So I wouldn't take a single number as an indicator of quality.
I think having a few metrics to look at will give you a better idea.  Of course, the most important factor is fit with your potential adviser.  I think if you are happy where you are, you will be more productive, which will result in a more impressive CV. 
I don't buy into the notion that you will only be able to get a great job if you go to a top ranked university.  I think what's more important is having a cohesive body of research that contributes to your field.  Regardless of where that research was conducted.
I hope this helped and best of luck.  Cheers!

I had a failed application cycle last year due to my own hubris. Many things snowballed with that, resulting in a pretty crummy year!
If I've learned anything from that mistake: Be happy. Do things that make you happy. Be in a place that makes you happy.

About your dog: I think that depends entirely on you and your program. I am in a social science program where the majority of my analysis and writing can be done from home, and I prefer to work from home or from a library (as opposed to my cube in the windowless cube farm). When I was taking classes I was generally there from 9-6 or so, but now that my coursework is finished I am rarely at the school itself. I go for meetings, seminars, interesting kinds of things and I do most of my work remotely. My time is verrry flexible, and if my building didn't prohibit it I would get a dog in a heartbeat. Another thing to keep in mind: a dog can be a great comfort when you're all stressed out over graduate school.

Advice?

Age:
-Don't feel like you have nothing to offer just because you are younger. I was 22 when I started graduate school. You got accepted to the program for a reason, and chances are you are just as equipped as any older students are to successfully complete the program, just in a different way.

-Your older classmates may be just as terrified as you. Talk to them. You have a lot in common. You are, after all, in the same place.

-You will feel like an imposter, like you don't belong, or like you are constantly behind. Or all three. It's normal. It will pass. (Well, sort of.) People of all ages go through this.

Adviser related:
-If you are lucky enough to get both research interest fit and personality fit perfect, congratulations! But sometimes, personality fit is more important than research interest fit as long as the research isn't too different. A great adviser is interested in your career development, likes you as a person, advocates for you, and wants to hear your ideas. Even if his or her research is quite different from yours, they may give you the autonomy to work on your own projects and just supervise you. A bad personality fit will drive you nuts, even if you love his or her research. Consider that when evaluating your adviser fit. (This will vary by field: research fit may be less important in the humanities, more important in the natural and physical sciences. Social sciences are somewhere in-between.)

-Don't be afraid to be straight up blunt with your adviser when it comes to asking about your progress. Ask if you are where you should be both academic program wise and getting-a-job-after-this-mess-wise.

-Be proactive. Advisers love when you draw up an agenda for your one-on-one meetings, come with talking points and progress to share, have concrete questions to ask, and have overall shown that you have been thoughtful and taken control of your own program. Of course, this won't immediately come easily to you, but in time you will work up to it. Every semester I type up my semester goals, and at the beginning of the year I type up annual goals. I show them to my adviser and we talk about whether they are too ambitious, or whether I need to revise them, and how I can meet them.

-Don't expect your adviser to actually know what courses you have to take to graduate. They will know about comprehensive exams and the dissertation, but a lot of professors don't really keep up with the course requirements, especially if their program is in flux. Get you a student handbook, and find out what you need to take. Map it out in a grid, and check off things when you finish them. Show this to your adviser every semester. You may have to explain how such and such class fills a requirement.

-Nobody loves you as much as you, except your mother. Keep this in mind as you take in advice from all sources, including your adviser. Your adviser is there to guide you, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything he says.

Studying:
-You will have to read more than you ever did before, in less time than you ever have before, and you will be expected to retain more than you ever have before. The way that you studied in undergrad may need some tweaking. Be prepared for this.

-Corollary: you may find that your methods change with age or interests or time. I preferred to study alone in college, but in grad school, I prefer to study in groups. It keeps me on task and the socialization keeps me motivated. You may find that you shift from being a more auditory learner to a visual learner or whatever.

-You will feel behind at first. This is normal.

-At some point you will realize that your professors don't actually expect you to read everything they assign you. This, of course, will vary by program, but there will be at least one class where the reading is actually impossible to do in one week. The point is to read enough that you know the major themes and can talk intelligently about them, and then pick some of the readings to really dig into and think more deeply about.

-For most programs, don't worry so much about grades. If you stay on top of your work and do what you're supposed to, you will probably get an A. How much grades matter varies from program to program. In some programs, a B is a signal that you are not up to par, and more than a few Bs will warrant a discussion with your adviser or the DGS. My program isn't like that - A, B, it's all meaningless. My adviser doesn't even know what my grades are. But at almost all programs, a C means you need to retake the course, and two Cs means you have to convince the DGS not to kick you out.

Extracurricular activity: What's that? No, seriously:
-A lot of your time will be unstructured. You will have coursework, but most grad classes meet once a week for two hours and you may have three classes. You may have meetings with your adviser every so often and some seminars or things to catch (like we have grand rounds and colloquia that are required), but a lot of time will be unstructured. However, since you have so much more work than you had in undergrad, you actually will have less free time than you had in undergrad. This may initially cause you great anxiety. It did for me. Some people love unstructured time, though. (I don't.)

-Because of this, you'll have to be planful about your non-grad school related stuff.

-TAKE TIME OFF. DO it. It's important for your mental health. However you do it doesn't matter. Some people work it like a 9-5 job. Some people take a day off per week (me) and maybe a few hours spread across the week. Some people work half days 7 days a week. However you do it, there needs to be a time when you say "f this, I'm going to the movies."

-Find your happy place, something that keeps you the you you were when you came in. I love working out. It gives me energy and I feel good. I stay healthy. I also love reading fiction, so sometimes I just curl up with a good book, work be damned. You have to give yourself permission to not think about work, at least for a couple of hours a week. You may also discover new hobbies! (I never worked out before I came to graduate school.)

-Your work will creep into all aspects of your life, if you let it. This is why I hate unstructured time. You will feel guilty for not doing something, because in graduate school, there is ALWAYS something you can do. ALWAYS. But since there will always be more work, there's no harm in putting it aside for tomorrow, as long as you don't have a deadline.

-You may need to reach outside of your cohort for a social life. None of my close friends are in my doctoral cohort. I've met master's students in my program, master's students in other programs, and I know a few non-graduate students I hang out with, too. Go to graduate student mixers. (If your university doesn't have any, organize some, if you like planning parties.) Join a student group that doesn't take up too much time. I had a doctoral acquaintance who kinda laughed at me because I joined some student groups other than the doctoral student one, and I was usually the only doctoral student in those groups, but I met some close friends (and future job contacts) and had a good time.

-DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR WANTING A LIFE OUTSIDE OF GRADUATE SCHOOL. This is paramount. This is important. You are a well-rounded, complex, multifaceted human being. NEVER feel bad for this. Everybody wants some kind of life outside of work. Yes, you may loooove your field, but that doesn't mean you want to do it all day long. Some other doctoral students, and perhaps professors, may make you feel bad about this. Don't let them. Just smile and nod. Then disappear when you need to.

Career:
-This is job preparation. Remember that from Day One. Always be looking for ways to enhance your skills. Read job ads and find out what's hot in your field, what's necessary, what's in demand. For example, in my field statistics and methods are a hot commodity, and they're not a passing fad. I happen to really like statistics and methods, so I have pursued that as a concentration of mine.

-Don't be afraid to take on volunteer work and part-time gigs that will give you skills that will be useful both inside academia and out, as long as it's not against your contract. Your adviser may be against it, but he doesn't have to know as long as it doesn't interfere with your work.

-If you want to work outside of academia - if you are even *considering* the possibility - please please definitely do the above. Even if you aren't considering it, consider the possibility that you won't get a tenure-track job out the box and that you may need to support yourself doing something else for a while. You will have to prove to employers that you have developed usable, useful skills and this is one of the easiest ways to do it. But don't overdo it - get the degree done.

-For more academic related ones - always look for opportunities to present and publish. Presentations look good on your CV. Publications look better. When you write seminar papers, wonder if you can publish them with some revision. Write your seminar papers on what you maybe think you may want to do your dissertation on. Even if you look at them three years later and think "these suck," you can at least glean some useful references and pieces from them. Discuss publication with your adviser early and often, and if you have the time and desire, seek out publication options with other professors and researchers. But if you commit to a project, COMMIT. You don't want to leave a bad impression.

-If you can afford it, occasionally go to conferences even if you aren't presenting. You can network, and you can hear some interesting talks, and you may think about new directions for your own research. You can also meet people who may tell you about jobs, money, opportunities, etc.

-Always try to get someone else to pay for conference travel before you come out of pocket. Including your adviser. Do not be shy about asking if he or she can pay. If he can't, he'll just say no. Usually the department has a travel fund for students, but often it's only if you are presenting.

-If you are interested in academia, you should get some teaching experience. There are two traditional ways to do this: TAing a course, and teaching as a sole instructor. If you can help it, I wouldn't recommend doing a sole instructor position until you are finished with coursework. Teaching takes a LOT of time to do right. You should definitely TA at least one course, and probably a few different ones. But don't overdo it, if you can help it, because again, it takes a LOT of time. More than you expect at the outset. If you are in the humanities, I think sole instructor positions are very important for nabbing jobs so when you are in the exam/ABD phase, you may want to try at least one. If your own university has none, look at adjuncting for nearby colleges, including community colleges. (I would wager that the majority of natural science/physical science students, and most social science students, have never sole taught a class before they get an assistant professor job. At least, it's not that common n my field, which straddles the social and natural sciences.)

-Always look for money. Money is awesome. If you can fund yourself you can do what you want, within reason. Your university will be thrilled, your adviser will be happy, and you can put it on your CV. It's win-win-win! Don't put yourself out of the running before anyone else has a chance to. Apply even if you think you won't get it or the odds are against you (they always are), as long as you are eligible. Apply often. Apply even if it's only $500. (That's conference travel!) Money begets money. The more awards you get, the more awards you will get. They will get bigger over time. If you are in the sciences and social sciences, you should get practice writing at least one grant. You don't have to write the whole thing, but at least get in on the process so that you can see how it's done. Grant-writing is very valuable both in and outside of graduate school.

-Revise your CV every so often. Then look and decide what you want to add to it. Then go get that thing, so you can add it.

-The career office at big universities is often not just for undergrads. I was surprised to learn that my career center offers help on CV organization and the academic job search, as well as alternative/non-academic career searches for doctoral students. In fact, there are two people whose sole purpose it is to help PhD students find nonacademic careers, and they both have PhDs. This will vary by university - some universities will have very little for grad students. Find out before you write the office off.

-It's never too early to go to seminars/workshops like "the academic job search inside and out", "creating the perfect CV," "getting the job," etc. NEVER. Often the leader will share tips that are more aimed towards early graduate students, or tidbits that are kind of too late for more advanced students to take care of. This will also help you keep a pulse on what's hot in your field. It'll help you know what lines you need to add to your CV. And they're interesting.

Other:

-Decide ahead of time what you are NOT willing to sacrifice on the altar of academia. Then stick to it.
I'm serious. If you decide that you do NOT want to sacrifice your relationship, don't. If it's your geographical mobility, don't. I mean, be realistic, and realize that there will always be trade-offs. But you have to think about what's important to you for your quality of life, and realize that there is always more to you than graduate school.

-If you don't want to be a professor, do not feel guilty about this. At all. Zero. However, you will have to do things differently than most doctoral students. Your adviser will probably never have worked outside of the academy (although this may vary depending on the field) so he may or may not be able to help you. But you have a special mission to seek out the kinds of experiences that will help you find a non-academic job. Test the waters with your adviser before you tell him this. My adviser was quite amenable to it, but that's because I told him that my goal was to still do research and policy work in my field just not at a university, AND because it's quite common in my field for doctoral students to do non-academic work. If you're in a field where it's not common (or where your professors refuse to believe it's common, or it's not supposed to be common)…well, you may be a little more on your own.

-Every so often, you will need to reflect on the reasons you came to graduate school. Sometimes, just sit and think quietly. Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you love your field? Do you need this degree to do what you want to do? Usually the answer is yes and yes, and usually you'll keep on trucking. But sometimes when the chips are down you will need to reevaluate why you put yourself through this in the first place.

-To my great dismay, depression is quite common in doctoral students. Graduate work can be isolating and stressful. Luckily your health insurance usually includes counseling sessions. TAKE THEM if you need them. Do not be ashamed. You may be surprised with who else is getting them. (I found out that everyone in my cohort, including me, was getting mental health counseling at a certain point.) Exercise can help, as can taking that mental health day once a week and just chilling. Don't be surprised if you get the blues…

-…but be self-aware and able to recognize when the depression is clouding your ability to function. Doctoral programs have a 50% attrition rate, and this is rarely because that 50% is less intelligent than, less motivated than, less driven than, or less ambitious than the other 50% that stays. Often they realize that they are ridiculously unhappy in the field, or that they don't need the degree anymore, or that they'd rather focus on other things in life, or their interests have changed. All of this is okay!

-You will, at some point, be like "eff this, I'm leaving." I think almost every doctoral student has thought about dropping out and just kicking this all to the curb. You need to listen to yourself, and find out whether it is idle thought (nothing to worry about, very normal) or whether you are truly unhappy to the point that you need to leave. Counseling can help you figure this out.

-Don't be afraid to take a semester or a year off if you need to. That's what leaves of absence are for.

Lastly, and positively…

…graduate school is great! Seriously, when else will you ever have the time to study what you want for hours on end, talk to just as interested others about it, and live in an intellectual community of scholars and intellectuals? And occasionally wake up at 11 am and go to the bank at 2 pm? Sometimes you will want to pull out all of your hair but most of the time, you will feel fulfilled and wonderfully encouraged and edified. So enjoy this time!

In addition, your location says you are from Brazil. If you are not a US citizen or permanent residence, then you will be an international student on F-1 or J-1 status. In order to legally stay on these statuses, as international students, we are severely limited in the amount of work we can do. So, even if the program allows us to work a part-time or freelance job, you have to make sure that your side jobs are allowed by your international student status.
You should definitely check with your school's international office to make sure you are following the regulations of your status. Just for reference though, the standard maximum on employment as an international student is 20 hours per week during the school year and no limit during school breaks. However, this is only for on-campus work (e.g. TA, RA, work-study like positions). We are not generally allowed to work off-campus and in fact, in order to qualify for F-1 or J-1 status, we must prove that we do not need this extra income. 
There are some exceptions---you can do CPT (as F-1) or OPT (as F-1) or AT (as J-1) in order to work off campus in a job related to your field of study (e.g. an internship). However, OPT and AT are often used for postdoc positions and working during your degree program will reduce the amount of time you're eligible to be on OPT/AT for postdocs. 
There is also another exception for working off campus when the work is not related to your field of study while on F-1 or J-1. That is if an unexpected financial burden comes up and you need the extra money to continue your studies. For example, if you suddenly have large medical bills that cannot be paid for, then you can apply for special permission to work off-campus part-time or freelance. 
These are just the general rules, for specific cases you should always talk to your school's international office. One question that comes up regularly now is internet income. If you operate a website that earns revenue, does that count as employment? I have no idea. When we asked this during orientation, the answer was that it's very complicated and those in this situation should talk one-on-one with the International student office and/or lawyers.
Anyways, all that was just to say that you should not count on being able to work part-time/freelance to earn extra money if you are going to be an international student.
Finally, you say that this amount is your 9 month stipend. In STEM fields, we are often funded for the full year. Sometimes, our offer letter states $X for a 12 month stipend, but sometimes, when it says $X for a 9 month stipend, then it means summer funding is not yet included. However, usually the opportunity for summer funding is mentioned. For example, at one school, my offer was $18k for 9 month stipend (TA) and they said that RAs are available in the summer, valued at $9k for 3 months. When I asked further, it basically means RAs are available for pretty much every grad student who wants one, but you still technically have to apply for and compete for them separately. Sometimes they don't promise it in the offer because it's up to each Prof. to individually hire RAs, not the department. Therefore, in your case, if the offer letter mentions a 9 month stipend but does not say anything about summer funding, it is a good idea to contact the department and ask if summer funding is available and/or if it's separate.

Not all programs let you have outside employment so that's something you'll need to look into. You might also see if the school would let you work an additional 5-10 hours per week on campus, which would net you more money. Whether or not it's worth living frugally for five years is something only you can decide, imo.

Oh I do hope you do not intend to pursue an academic career. Life gets significantly more difficult after you graduate. There are fewer jobs than PhD graduates so getting that postdoc won't be easy, not to mention that first TT job. And once you're on the TT, it's publish or perish (and teaching and service) for 7 years until you're up for tenure. Maybe then you could start having a life, assuming you're not particularly rushed to get that Full Professor rank?  Assuming you're one of the truly lucky ones who gets the perfect job straight out of school and can fast-track the TT, we're looking at a minimum of 10 years of everything on hold. If you're one of us mere mortals, you're probably looking at closer to 15 years of school-postdoc-TT job celibacy. I don't know about you, but I value the rest of my life just as much as my career. Being successful but completely alone for over a decade does not sound appealing at all. You need to start learning how to have a full and balanced life now, because it will not get easier later. 

Sometimes you don't even have to stay with your graduate professors. You might think about contacting professors that teach undergraduate math courses to see if they need TAs, or if you have any expertise in other fields. Don't wait for people to contact you. Getting funding is all about being proactive and creative. You will find the funding by thinking of things your peers do not. A lot of times, you can get tuition waivers for any type of position in any department on campus.

Often yes, sometimes no. Stipend amounts (and benefits) are determined based on the field, the solvency of the university and the department (and state, for public schools), the prestige of the program, the reason the funding is given (fellowship vs. assistantship), the competitiveness of the candidate, and yes, the local cost of living. If you get enough offers, you'll probably see a loose correlation between the stipend offered and the cost of living, but there may also be exceptions. I remember that my husband's lowest stipend offer came from the school in the highest cost of living city.
To get an idea of how much stipends can vary and also what you might expect to be offered in various fields or at various universities, check out the data in PhD Stipends http://www.phdstipends.com/ (a database I run). Please also enter your own offer letters into the database once you receive them!