lilirose

Well actually I said my THERAPIST had an ideal situation. My point is if you don't want a kid then we all know what it takes to make a kid. If I was in a PhD program I wouldn't get pregnant if I didn't WANT to. Just saying. What I said was honest. I mean HE created his complex situation did he not?


Anyways whatever I'm not going to argue about it.

In five years if he chooses to marry this girl and raise a child with her he will be exactly the sort of person you envy for "having it all" - so I don't know why you decided to reprimand him.  It sounds like he has things at least as together as your shrink who you cited as an inspiration.  
 
Everyone should take a moment and give the other person benefit of the doubt when these things happen.  Assume MrPootawn is an intelligent person who understands 'baby creation' and that sometimes things just don't go as planned.  
 
And I don't intend this to be a personal attack Pinkster; but I do want to have this guys back while he makes a complex and nuanced decision.
 
That said MrPootawn, I used to work in an industry that put me in contact with many people who opened up to me (ahemhairdresserahem) and the secret I found out is that almost no one has children the way they planned. And yet almost everyone you meet is thankful for their children and wouldn't change a thing. Conversely, marriage is something we try to plan and make perfect and plenty of people regret it. Bottom line - don't assume that the wrench in your plans is not better than your plans.  
 
And good luck whatever your choice!

I mean I would think one would think of how a baby would effect their life BEFORE they do the things that create babies... Anyways it is in there now so guess you just have to adjust. Good luck. 

I have two older girls that were small when I did my BA and had my son in the middle of my MA which was also the first month of my RA.  I was stressed to death about having a baby right at the beginning of an NSF research position.  It was fine.  I had a great supervisor and PI, and that was key.  In some ways being a parent to a young one helped me by FORCING me to extremely organized with my time.  

Here are some of my thoughts (some of it is repeated from above and not necessarily in order of importance.
 
1. Baby wearing!  Find the one you love and use it.
2. Find the perfect mix of parent time and student time.  If you can mix the two, great.  If you can't, don't (which is also great).  Just be honest with yourself about what works and be open to the idea that this is a fluid relationship that WILL CHANGE.  What worked last week won't work this week, that's fine.  Just keep options open for when you have to have student only time, which can be difficult.
3. Get a support network together now!  Look into what childcare you need to have, I have always used an on campus daycare.  It has been the best decision I could have made.  The baby was close when I needed to nurse him, and it was less expensive than any other option.  Find a parent group and work out friends you can call in emergency type situations where you just need a few hours to finish a paper or whatever. 
4.  If you can find an advisor who is kid friendly, do it.  I can't stress this enough.  You will have more to do than you can imagine and you REALLY don't need to be fighting your advisor in the meantime.  I have seen students with babies and unsupportive advisors, and it isn't pretty.
5.  Trust yourself.  You will hear an amazing amount of advice.  In the end, do what works for you and your little family, whatever that is.  For us, we co-slept (got great sleep!) and demand fed and almost NEVER did laundry.  It worked for us.  Some of my friends lost their minds doing what worked for me, and I lost mine trying to sleep train.  Bottom line: do what you need to do to get through.  First year is the hardest (both baby and grad school).  You can do it!
 
And lastly, and probably most importantly...Grad school is HARD on relationships.  Babies can be HARD on relationships.  Be open with your partner now about your feelings, goals, needs, EVERYTHING.  Talk about how you want to manage baby care and grad school responsibilites now, before the baby comes.  Grad school is very demanding and a fairly selfish endevour (even for the most selfless person).  A baby will intensify this.  Be good to each other.  Don't let things eat at you, and don't your partner do the same.  ENJOY this time.  As crazy as it is...it is amazing!!  Best of Luck to you all!

Do you think my professors would take me less seriously if I got this bag?

I love my spine. It's the only spine I will have and it cannot ever be replaced.
 
I have backpacks. If I'm carrying a light load (tablet, keyboard, no more than 2 trade paperback sized books, one legal pad, and assorted daily life accoutrement, then I'll use my backpack purse (no support in it). For daily use, I use a backpack that has a rigid "frame" built into the back and has straps that help me support the load with my hips, though it doesn't have a waist strap like a hiking backpack. It's not an actual frame, internal or external, but there is some rigidity there. On days when I have to tote a lot, I dork-out and use a pull-behind bag/carrier.
 
I'm old (for the average person here) and many women my age are starting to have to cover up things like hammer toes and varicose veins. If you wonder why older women wear pants and closed toed sandals to the beach, look at their daily wear. I may not be rocking the fashion scene, but unlike too many of my peer group, my feet still look fabulous naked.
 
If it's about looking professional, buy an understated bag.

@conflictedA First off, congratulations! Second, I'm a dude, so take this with a grain of salt: I think you might want to defer for a year and/or go to a school near one of your personal support networks (i.e. your, or your husband's, family). 
This might by tl;dr, but here it is...
I'm the father of 2 beautiful, and I think, well-adjusted little girls - both of whom were born during my 3-year, full-time masters. I was a full-time student, part-time worker, and new dad. My wife has an executive level career and works 50+ hours a week - and was stuck with America's horrible maternity leave policies. The only way I think that this could have possibly worked out is because one of the schools I wanted to go to was in my wife's hometown - since we knew we were going to have a baby, we went with that offer of admission. I can't imagine doing what we did without grandparents & friends helping us out. Even so, 4 years and a second little girl in to this, we're just beginning to get into a regular pattern of sleep (may yours sleep more consistently, I pray). I don't know how speech pathology maps onto theology, but trying to parse Hebrew at 8 in the morning after having not slept for a few nights is challenging at the least, and I wasn't even the one feeding the little angels (at least until they learned how bottles work)!
That said - if your heart is set on the school, I think you can do it, it just a little harder. Some thoughts:
Can you do the program part-time, or 3/4 time? I have friends w/ kids and no local support network who did this & everything worked out just fine. Many programs will also let you take an extended family/medical leave - so you could do the first semester, take the second one off, and return in the fall. Do you qualify for WIC (high income limit)? That can take a huge financial load off, and might line you up for childcare assistance (lower income limit). Have you priced full-time childcare in the neighborhood you'd be moving to? It can be prohibitively expensive, like $200-$400 a week depending on where you are / the level of care. And sadly, you really get what you pay for. We had our girls in full-time care, but as a student, I had summers off, so I could just stay home and play with them all summer and save a few thousand - which is more than I would have made working a 3 month job and a lot more fun.  I know a number of people who found other parents of young kids in their neighborhood and basically started a co-op of childcare, that freed up lots of time. Are you prepared for the guilt of doing homework when you could be playing with your new bundle of joy? Personally, this killed me as a new grad. student until I learned to manage my time better. Being a graduate student is a full-time job in itself, can you keep it contained in the 40 hours of daycare-time? (I couldn't) To save $$ on full-time childcare w/ two kids (prohibitively expensive to the grad-school budget), I watched the girls on the days I didn't have class. This makes for a killer work load and you have to be super-disciplined.  Bonus of being far from grandparents - no over the shoulder "parenting" advice. I've got wonderful in-laws, so this wasn't an issue, but I know some folk who really wished they had an excuse to move a few states away. Religious or not, churches are a great place to find mom-related support and get plugged into the neighborhood's parenting world. Some schools have built-in early childhood development centers - does yours? They sometimes provide a hefty discount to students. Can you afford a nanny? That might be an option is you have a good source of income. How about someone to clean your house? That last one might seem excessive, but it's not. A bi-monthly visit by a maid service isn't prohibitively expensive and will make you feel worlds better. Are there any other parents in your cohort? They might be good sources. PM me if you want more, or have specific questions that I might be able to answer. Graduate school is tough, expensive, stressful - having little ones around sure is a good way to keep oneself grounded and focused on what matters.